Time Lapse
by iheartShules
Summary: John goes missing thanks a nameless and faceless villain. What happens when the team get him back and he's a little worse for wear? Can everyone heal their pain, anger, and grief in time before the villain strikes again? :takes place after s2 finale.:FYI this story is LONG! Careese eventually.::Sensitive material and graphic violence, I know its in prologue just want to repeat it.:
1. Prologue

_**Author's note: Hi, so as you know I have two other stories going on right now, but those stories both will be finished quite quickly. This story is not typical for me, I wanted to try my hand at writing something quite different for me. The rating is for sensitive material for some(to each its different just want the warning in here at the beginning) graphic violence(I think its mild but I want to make sure everyone understands some of this is dark) in later chapters, and maybe...something else.**_

_**Every character is involved in this, the story reminds me of an episode with A storyline, and a B plotline because I have mini plots included in this story that build onto the larger mystery of this story lol. Although my meager writing skills are not as good as the POI peeps who are epic :) And an FYI for everyone who may not know this, but I love writing Careese so there will be moments between them, and maybe they might eventually get together ;D**_

_**I wasn't sure about this story begged my friend and proofreader Elaine(you're da bomb :D) to read this prologue for me to see if I should continue, then I asked Sarah my bestie to give me an additional pair of eyes and a friend that's on here odalys-ortiz they all told me to post it. I'm skittish hahahahahahahaha, its just so different and I hope you guys will enjoy it. This story will be very long, hopefully you guys are in the long haul with me.**_

* * *

The harsh tapping of her heels hitting the pavement, followed by short gasps of breath were the only sounds that filtered through the eerily quiet New York streets. Guns drawn, adrenaline pumping, her eyes were searching everywhere for the perp. Running up to the edge of a building by an alleyway, she paused near the edge of the dilapidated brown building, breath escaping her fast. Joss looked behind her where her partner and friend was making his way up to her. She motioned, then did a count down on her fingers and after 'one' they both aimed their weapons in front of them, moving into the opening of the alley.

"NYPD, throw down your weapon and come out with your hands up where we can see them!" Fusco shouted, knowing the young male in his late teens was hiding somewhere in this dark alley because she'd seen him run down this way.

"Please don't make this harder on yourself, do as I say and maybe I can cut a deal with you," she said authoritatively, but with a touch of softness when she considered his age. Maybe he wasn't a hardened criminal….yet.

"I deal with you, I'm dead!" the terrified male voice was shouted from back in the alleyway to her left. She motioned her hand to Fusco at the dumpster in the back. He nodded, slowly moving along the shadows edging closer and closer to the stationary green dumpster. Joss continued her slow steps, stepping in broken glass, pausing.

"It doesn't have to be like that, we can protect you."

"No you can't!"

"Look, our friend is missing. You drove the getaway car, all we need to know is where you took him to, we'll do the rest," Joss called out.

"He won't be there anymore!" Joss struggled to remain patient with this young man but time was running out. The longer he was missing, the less likely when they found him, he'd be alive.

"Then there shouldn't be any problem telling me where you took him, should there?" she reasoned. "Unless you're not a hundred percent sure he'll be gone, which means I can get to him to maybe save him." Joss said from her rooted spot in the glass, her eyes on Fusco. He motioned at her as he stood just before the dumpster and she nodded, moving forward fast just as he did.

"HANDS UP NOW!" Fusco shouted as he grabbed the young male's hood. The boy let out a yelp, throwing the knife down. Fusco pushed him onto his stomach, yanking his hands behind his back, snapping the cuffs on his wrists. Fusco slowly helped him to his feet, while Joss holstered her weapon. She looked the young man in his eyes, the hazel colored eyes were wild and scared. He was taller than she was and he looked no older than fifteen, his entire youthful body trembled.

"Look Christopher, I don't think you're a bad kid. I think you got mixed up with the wrong crowd and didn't know what to do to get out of it. If you can't tell me where my friend is, could you at least tell me who it was you were working for?"

"I-I don't know, they didn't really say."

"Why did you work for them if you are so afraid of them?"

"It's my brother, Peter's fault; he got mixed up with these guys. Peter asked me to do him a favor, that they needed a driver."

"And you had no idea you were aiding in a criminal act at the time? What do you take us for kid, fools?" Fusco demanded and Joss held up her hand to get Fusco to hold off.

"You really had no idea did you, that you were being used to kidnap our friend?" He voice soft compared to the harshness from Fusco.

"NO, Peter just asked me to help him; he's my older brother so I said yeah. I don't get to see him that much; I didn't know what they were doing until I pulled up where they told me to. I climbed out of the car and that's when they pulled the guy out. I thought he was dead." Joss shared a look with Fusco.

"He's not, right?"

"I don't think so. I was freaking out and Peter warned me to keep my mouth shut about what I saw because his friends wouldn't think twice about killing me."

"Okay do you have anything else you can tell us that will help us?"

"Um, I don't think Peter or his friends were going to be holding onto him for very long."

"What do you mean?"

"Peter said that the guy would rake them in some big dough, which they needed for something, for what I-I don't know."

"Oh god, there was a bounty on his head." Joss whispered turning to look at Fusco.

"Look kid, we mostly buy your story, but for you to get out of aiding and abetting, you need to show us where you took our guy." The young teen shook his head frantically. Joss needed the kid to focus, he seemed like he wanted to do the right thing.

"Come on Christopher, we need your help to save a man's life!"

"What about my brother? What happens if I show you where they took that man, they might kill him?"

"We can protect you and we can try to protect your brother, it's all I can offer you. But this man's life most definitely is in danger and you could save him. Now Christopher, will you help us?" She demanded of the teen. He nodded his head a little; she could see the fear in his eyes, but also a hint of determination. He was going to help them. Joss felt real hope for the first time since he went missing. They escorted the young kid with them back to Fusco's cruiser when she dialed the familiar unknown number.

"Yes detective, please say you have a lead on Mr. Reese's whereabouts?"

"We caught the kid who drove the getaway van and he's going to show us where he drove John too. How about you and Shaw, anything?"

"No, nothing! Give me the address detective and we'll meet you there." Finch's voice was high with worry.

"Better yet, be outside the police station, we'll pick you and Shaw up there."

"See you then." He hung up with her and Joss eyed the young boy in the back seat. "We are picking up some friends of mine; they'll help protect you and your brother." The kid nodded his head without saying another word. "Police station, Fusco," she said her nerves frayed and her senses on high alert. They were going to get John back, they just had to.

* * *

Fusco drove himself, Carter, 'Einstein,' wonder woman, and the stupid kid out to what had to be Timbuktu; he seemed to be senselessly driving to nowhere until, out of the blue, appeared some remote and very rundown old mill. It had seen better days, several windows appeared to be broken, the white concrete looked permanently stained with swirls of pale yellow as if it was decaying. All in all it should be demolished. Of course wonder boy had to be held at a place that would surely fall down around their heads the moment they entered.

"Here kid really, and you didn't think it wasn't on the up and up?" Carter shot him a look to shut him up which he did; she was already too worried about Mr. Happy to cause her any more grief. Carter should really get her head examined, it was clear to him that her feelings for wonder boy weren't strictly platonic. He should have guessed way back when, when he caught her referring to him as 'John', but tiny moments since then held more precedence, leading him to believe something was going on between the two. Although it was none of his business if she had the joneses for wonder boy it was up to her. Mr. Happy was different around her, something that was akin to almost normal human interaction. If he remembered correctly he thought he saw a smile escape the usual stoic man when Carter gave him one of her lectures on police procedures. She could drone on and on about procedures, he knew because he had been on the receiving end a time or two from her himself. But wonder boy would break each and every procedure she told him about, probably just to piss her off.

Fusco pulled the cruiser to a stop a good thirty yards from the place that, if one strong gust of wind came, it probably could knock it over. They all slowly climbed out of the car except the kid that was handcuffed in the back.

"You two detectives take the back entrance, Finch you're with me while I'll take the front," Shaw immediately directly. Fusco eyed G.I. Jane as she drew her gun out.

"Listen lady Rambo, how about Carter and I take the front while you and 'glasses' here take the back entrance." He wasn't about to take orders from some lady who figured she had a place with them. If she wanted to be a part of their weird little side project than she needed to earn her place. She wasn't going to bark orders at them; the only person who got to do that was Mr. Happy. He earned their respect; her, not so much.

"I have far more experience dealing with this sort of thing and whoever has John could be military trained. If we want to get him back, we need to-" Fusco opened his mouth to argue some more with wonder woman that she didn't have any more rights to wonder boy than they did when Finch spoke up.

"Please, we all care about Mr. Reese, let's just get in there and find him." Finch sounded worried sick, like a mother hen searching for his missing baby chick. Fusco rolled his eyes. Most likely wonder boy was waiting for them and had taken out all the bad guys one by one and was just about to exit to come greet them with his usual dry humor. Fusco wasn't going to budge on the fact that Carter and he were going in the front. Shaw sensed his distrust of her and motioned for Finch to go with her to the back entrance. Fusco and Carter moved to the front entrance, she on the right side of the door and he on the left with their guns drawn in front of them. He was going to move when she gave the order. She motioned with her index finger, Fusco whirled out, kicked the door in, and she moved in first. He moved in aiming to her right making sure no one popped out to clip her. They both lowered their weapons as they eyed the giant empty space in front of them with silent worry.

"I guess we missed the action," Fusco sighed as they saw six men, varying ages and sizes, all lying on the cold cement floor, unmoving in the old rundown mill. It was just one gigantic room; Fusco watched as the backdoor was kicked in and Shaw appeared first, following closely behind her was Finch. They slowly made their way to stand near the bodies. Joss had squatted near the first one to check for a pulse and shook her head. He, for his part, looked around the lone chair that had chains with locks on the front two legs of the chair and a chain wrapped around the top of the seat, lying where someone had once sat. Joss was staring at the lone chair as well, knowing it was where John had been sitting.

"I'm taking it these are the men that were hired to grab John?" Finch said quietly as they eyed the dead men.

"All killed execution style." Carter's voice was low and gruff.

"Most likely their only job was to grab John because whoever wanted John wanted to remain invisible. They used some dumb criminals in need of money to do it for them, then killed them because they were loose ends." Shaw stated curtly.

"How did they get the drop on John; I've seen him in action before, wonder boy can handle himself even outnumbered?!" Fusco asked it as more of a rhetorical question than one needed an answer.

"I overheard some of it, detective," Finch commented. "We had been conversing about the latest person of interest to look into when I heard some noises in the background. John made a gasping sound, I could swear I heard some of the men say something about tasing him again."

"Taser gun will do it; Reese had no chance to escape. The best he could do is try to fight when he regained his faculties, but by then they probably had him restrained," Shaw stated as she squatted down to inspect the chair and chains. "Chains have blood on them," she announced unemotionally. Fusco took a sidelong glance at Carter as she turned to look away and he thought he saw a flash of unshed tears in her eyes. "We need to take a good look around this mill, maybe whoever took John left a clue; it's highly unlikely, but we have to try." Finch looked positively green at the fact that all their leads for John had all but dried up. But right now Fusco was far more concerned with how Carter was taking this. Her shoulders were slumped and the determination was gone from her dark eyes.

"Fusco, the only people that could help us find John are dead," Carter said dejectedly.

"We'll find him Carter, he'll be annoying you with his illegal activity soon enough, and he'll be my bane of my existence again," Fusco said, laying a hand on her forearm, and she nodded her head as they all slowly began looking around the mill in hope of some sort of clue to the whereabouts of John Reese.

* * *

Author's note: The story has a big mystery to it that will not be explained right away...if you guys enjoy I'll try to post the first chapter soon because this leaves off on a pretty big cliffie at the get go :D btw: the title, was also something else I was worried about, but thanks Elaine for assuring me its a pretty good title you are the bestest.

If you are waiting for new updates for the other two stories, they'll be coming one tomorrow for Unexpected Moments for sure, maybe even a new one tomorrow of Its Not Over. I try to pace myself, though this story has wrapped around my brain and squeezed till it forced me to write it out.

Thank you for reading as always I appreciate it. Hopefully you guys will enjoy this.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: Since you guys seem to have enjoyed this story here's chapter 1 it takes place a bit later after the prologue which you will learn just how long as you read. Happy reading, and now I'm going to go run and hide...**_

* * *

He was even quieter than normal, the small man that had helped save her life wasn't his usual chipper self, but it seemed no one was. Who knew a man that barely talked held this weird group of defective people together. Finch was quiet, much more so than she was and she had a personality disorder. Finch just missed his anti-social guard dog. Detective Fusco occasionally helped here and there on a number for them, but the female detective wouldn't speak to them. She thought Finch had abandoned his search for John, which was far from the truth; they just couldn't ignore the numbers. Shaw wanted to get Reese back as much as the others did; she wasn't sentimental but he had saved her. She was going to return the favor. She sipped her coffee as she moved around the library. Bear lifted his head, then laid it down dejectedly, realizing yet again, it was only her and not his beloved master.

Shaw sighed, seeing Finch with his head down on the tabletop asleep, glasses hanging haphazardly off of one ear. The man was going to make himself sick spending all day helping with the numbers, then spending all night looking for leads on John. She placed a cup of tea in front of him.

"Finch, wake up." his eyes blinked open and he raised his head wincing slightly at the kink in his neck. "Anything yet on John?"

"Nothing unfortunately, Ms. Shaw. Zoe Morgan polled all her contacts and came up empty handed yet again as did Logan Pierce. It seems as if no one wants to acknowledge the man in the suit's existence let alone help find him."

"Listen Finch, I know you don't want to hear this but it's time to face the music, it has been six months since he's disappeared."

"Ms. Shaw, I do not wish to speak about this. Mr. Reese is alive, and that's the end of the discussion."

"I hope so, I'm not sentimental, but he did save my life on a few occasions; it's only fair if I get to even us out." She turned to look at the board. "New number?"

"Yes, his name is Tanner Cahill, age 35, he works as a bartender at Logan's Bar and Grill. His nights on are Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays."

"Anyone special in his life?"

"No, not a girlfriend or a hint of a digital footprint that I can see. I did acquire his address."

"I'll go get eyes on him."

"Good, while you do that I'm set to meet with a man I would very much rather never speak too again."

"Who could that be?"

"Leon Tao."

"The annoying idiot that constantly gets himself in danger? How can Reese stand saving his life constantly?" Shaw grumbled, having to have done so herself, twice. Once as recently as last week!

"He might be constantly a number but his wheelings and dealings with the criminals of New York could prove to be useful in locating Mr. Reese. I will not rest until I find John, as he would do for me." Shaw had no doubt that was the case. She wondered if Finch was going to take a play out of John's playbook when and if they got the guard dog back by placing a tracking device on him. She smiled a little to herself, sipping her coffee as she made her way back out of the library to get to business.

* * *

Finch breathed heavy as he walked the busy streets of New York with Bear on his leash. He was running out of ideas on how to find Mr. Reese, the machine wasn't giving him his number, and the men that took John, their murders were still unsolved. Now that the machine was free, he half wondered if it wasn't helping him find Mr. Reese to punish him for taking its memories away. It was working; John was a friend, one that needed his help and he couldn't do a thing.

Everyone was pulling their fair share in looking for Mr. Reese, though he suspected Detective Carter was doing above and beyond. He should have known how the detective felt for him, it should have been so obvious. But he hadn't figured it out until the good detective had ripped him a new one. He didn't bother trying to defend himself, he figured she was only lashing out at him out of fear. And to be quite honest some of it he deserved. He hadn't been helping her figure out Beecher or Szymanski's real murderers or helped her with her own issues with HR, he called her when he needed her assistance on new numbers without offering to help her. He could see why she was angry about it though he couldn't apologize for it right now. He had been so focused on trying to save the numbers and find John, he had completely forgotten about the past numbers they couldn't save thanks to the virus uploaded into the machine. Detective Carter had every right to be upset with him and Shaw, but he had been quite taken aback at the look in her eyes the moment she brought up that she thought he abandoned John.

Jocelyn Carter had grown to be quite fond of Mr. Reese, as he was of her, he just never suspected their fondness for one another would ever amount to actual feelings. Her words stung as she pointed out that John would have searched forever to find him, while he didn't give a damn. Guilt set in, she was right, he knew it and she knew it, but she was so very wrong about him not giving a damn. He suspected that Jocelyn Carter had an emotional need to find Mr. Reese much like he did, though they both had differing reasons as to why. He felt almost paternal to John, seeing in him a man that had a caring soul that was suffering from the CIA. The CIA that tried to take a man who cared too much and break him, make him into a cold heartless monster though it didn't work. John couldn't ever be heartless, even though he was sure Mr. Reese tried to shut off his emotions during his stint in the CIA. John had a heart that loved deeply, that had been shattered by betrayal, death, and guilt. Mr. Reese just needed a reason to live, a reason to go on and Finch had given him that with his purpose of saving lives. Finch just didn't quite realize when he found Mr. Reese, he would also find a rich and fulfilling friendship with the hardened soldier. One he sorely missed and wanted back desperately. He couldn't save Nathan but he had a chance to find and save John, he wasn't going to stop looking until he did.

Harold walked with Bear into the park where Leon had agreed to meet up with him. He cinched his jacket around him tighter as a brisk New York breeze whipped around him.

"Long time no see." Harold turned, seeing Leon Tao making his way over towards him, his arms stretched wide with a grin on his face. Bear hopped up onto his hind legs to attack the man, to lick and be petted. Bear gave Leon a nice lick on the face before the man pushed him off his chest.

"Hopefully we keep it that way, no more getting into trouble Mr. Tao."

"Yeah, well next time when you come save me can you not send in the hot chick? Send John because she's nuts and mean. John's mean but he doesn't really mean it, he likes me, I can tell." Finch wasn't so sure if John liked him or was just amused by his comical errors with the wrong side of the law.

"I'm sorry Mr. Tao, but Mr. Reese is why I asked for this meeting, he's missing."

"Wait, John's missing? For how long?"

"Six months," Finch said softly as guilt set in. Six long months, while Mr. Reese had found him in days after Root had kidnapped him in hopes of finding the machine.

"Six months! John's not dead is he?"

"Don't speak like that!" Finch snapped, his usual calm demeanor gone. Finch reigned in his emotions not wanting to think of that possibility. "I'm sorry Mr. Tao, it has been a rough six months, I need your help in searching for him."

"Sure, anything to find my favorite savior because the hot crazy chick, she needs to go." Harold smiled a little.

"I'm glad you said it like that."

"I'm sure I'm not going to like this." Leon looked at him with suspicion and Harold nodded in agreement.

"Most assuredly not, Mr. Tao," he agreed and motioned for Leon to come sit with him on the park bench; they had much to discuss.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Carter this is a bad move!" Joss entered the small diner called Moe's. The outside did nothing for the inside of the small diner. The outside bespoke that it was trashy, rundown, and not at all spectacular but now that she had entered it was quiet, richly designed, and comfortable.

"Fusco, relax, he owes me his life; he agreed to help," Joss assured her partner on the phone as she took a booth near the corner of the diner.

"Yeah well, do you really expect him to help you find wonder boy without expecting something in return? Who cares if you saved his life or not, he tried to end yours way back in the day!" Joss wasn't going to argue the point, she had sunk to a new low in hopes of finding John, one that required asking a criminal for help. The dead men in the rundown mill, their murders were still unsolved, whoever killed them didn't leave a single trace of physical evidence to point in the direction of who did it. Joss had talked to some of her C.I.s that ran along with several street gangs that could have had a run in with the man in the suit, but came up empty handed. She needed someone that had connections, she needed someone that could find out information in a less than legal execution, she needed Carl Elias's help. She'd deal with the devil in hopes of bringing John home in one piece. John had once said she had a good moral compass, well that went out the window when she had nowhere left to turn to for leads.

"I have to try," she said to Fusco as she looked up at the middle aged waitress walking up to her.

"What can I get for you?"

"Just a water for now, thanks." Joss smiled, sliding the menu away from her on the red and white checkered laminate table top. She waited till the waitress walked away before speaking once more to Fusco. "Fusco, nothing is working, he's been gone now for six months without a trace. It's like he vanished into thin air; I need to find him."

"Carter, I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to face the very real possibility that we won't find John, alive or ..." His voice trailing off.

"Everyone else might have given up on him including you, but I'm not!" Joss snapped into the phone angry with Fusco for bringing up something that had crossed her mind on more than one occasion. But she forcefully dismissed it, John was alive and in need of help, it was just where and how she would find him?!

"I know you, the little guy, and G.I. Jane had words a bit ago, but how about going to them instead of Elias?" She didn't want to think of Finch and Shaw right now, running around without giving a damn about a man that would die to save them. She remembered how desperate John was when he was searching for Finch when Root had him, so he could bring him home safely. John would have searched to the ends of the earth to save him, but Finch couldn't be bothered to search for him, instead he was focusing on other people without an ounce of worry for John. Joss squeezed the phone tight in her hand, still very angry when Finch tried to ask for her to assist him and Shaw with some other person. They weren't helping her look into Cal's or Szymanski's deaths; and now they abandoned John as well. Finch, and Shaw had given up on him, well she wasn't about too. He wouldn't give up on her if the roles were reversed! She was done with them she thought, trying to convince herself. She would find John on her own, John had once said she wasn't alone, well without him she was.

But Joss had an unexpected ally in help of getting out of the shooting jam with HR, who just happened to be Carl Elias. Somehow the investigation into the shooting disappeared and everything was hush-hush. She knew the fight with HR was far from over it was just beginning but for now things seemed to have quieted down. Joss had never thought she'd turn to a criminal for assistance like this, but he helped her with HR, she figured she could use his help in her search for John.

Joss mentally shook herself forcing her thoughts back on her current conversation with Fusco.

"No, because they don't give a damn about helping me find John even though he saved both their lives numerous times. Elias might be a criminal, Fusco, but he at least is willing to help me look for John." Joss looked up seeing Elias and his right hand man Anthony Marconi, everyone called him Scarface, slide in the booth across from her. "Gotta go Fusco." She hung up with him hearing him say something to her about not trusting them.

"What do you have for me? Please say something, I need a lead on him."

"Unfortunately Detective Carter, not a whole lot. It seems no one knows where the 'man in the suit' is. The Russians, the Bulgarians don't have him, the Aryan Brotherhood would love to get their hands on him to kill him; the cartels we looked into also have no idea. It seems like John disappeared, Detective Carter." Joss felt herself deflate a little. She had been hoping with Elias's connections she'd come up with one lead on where John could be. She exhausted every avenue in her search for the missing man in the suit, her missing friend, but came up empty each time. Frustration wasn't the word for what she was feeling at the moment.

"Thanks anyway, Elias." Disappointment so keen knifed through her heart. She wasn't giving up because she never would, she wasn't like everyone else, but where the hell was he?

"You and John both saved my life; John will always be the man that came out of nowhere to save me, just as you will be. If I hear of anything, detective, you'll be the first to know." Elias assured her as he slid from the booth. Joss watched as the two men left, she still half wondered if she had done the right thing saving a man's life who would ultimately start another mob war with the Russians to gain control. But she couldn't go back and undo anything. What was done was done and she would just have to cross that bridge when it happened. Joss slid from the booth leaving a tip to the woman even though she hadn't ordered anything, exiting the diner with spirits lower than ever.

The longer John stayed missing the less likely she would be able to find him alive. Joss heard her phone buzz with a text and she pulled it out of her jacket pocket, eyeing the text from an unknown number. Joss furrowed her brows a little as she read the text: Sand Creek. What did it mean? More importantly, who was it from? She hurried to her car climbing inside, when she got another text from the same unknown number. She eyed it, seeing it was a social security number. What the hell? Joss received another text seconds later from the unknown number with just a simple: St. John's Cemetery. Sand Creek, wait a minute, Sand Creek was a road and, St. John's Cemetery were both in Colonie, New York. It was an address for someone and it would take her about a half hour to get there. She threw her phone onto the passenger seat and began driving towards Colonie, New York.

Joss drove fast arriving in Colonie about twenty five minutes later and she slowly turned down Sand Creek Road. She wished she knew what the hell she was doing here and why she was listening to some random texts. For all she knew the texts were from some wrong number and here she was thinking it was like a higher being giving her a clue to something. Joss drove west down Sand Creek Road, slowly coming upon the cemetery when she slammed on the brakes, startled. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as it always did when on a call or when someone was in need. And someone was in need. She pulled over to the side of the road. There, in the darkening night, staggering away from the neighboring school, moving towards the cemetery, towards her was a man in tattered, bloodied clothing, his hair longish and shaggy as was his beard. She quickly exited the car, leaving her car door open as she ran towards the man, her hand near her holster just in case the man was dangerous. There was something about him that reminded her of the man she first met after who had fought off muggers on the New York subway a couple years earlier. Her feet faltered to a stop her hand flopping to her side in shock when she realized who it was.

"JOHN!" she cried half in elation, half in horror as she ran much faster to him. She hid the anguish that threatened to overtake her at his appearance. He blinked, turning his head to look at her.

"Joss?" his voice was low, thick, and raspy, it was almost as if he didn't recognize her. She wanted to cry as she got close to him, seeing gashes, dried blood, and deep grooves on his wrists suggesting he had been restrained for a long period of time and had struggled in them. She reached out gently to touch him, seeing the protective curl of his left arm inwards to his body. His face was covered in sweat, dried blood, and he was pale; his eyes were sunken and had a haunted look to them. John's white t-shirt was tattered, giant holes where patches of his ivory skin could be seen, the back of the shirt was ripped almost completely off. Joss moved to look behind his back, blinked her eyes to calm herself, his flesh was mangled. Her eyes slid to his feet seeing he wasn't wearing any shoes or socks, and they were an unhealthy blue/black color and swollen.

"Oh John, what did they do to you?" she whispered more to herself than actually to him. John's usual athletic form was gaunt like he hadn't eaten in months. "John, I'm going to get you some help okay?" She said keeping her hands out to show she wasn't there to harm him. She didn't know if John was totally with her, or was he in some sort of drug induced state.

"Water?" his soft whisper shot her off towards her car grabbing desperately at her bottled water, trembling the entire time. She ran back to him and held the water to his lips, helping him take some in. He made no effort to take the bottle into his own hands. He gagged a little at the first few sips before he took greedy amounts of water. She put the cap back on when he shook his head that he was done, then placed the bottle in her giant pocket of her jacket, she had to get him to a hospital. Across the street some of the people in their homes came out.

"Does he need some help?" Someone called out. Joss looked towards the people before eyeing John. John looked unaware of where he was.

"Everyone go back in your homes, I'm a cop, I'm going to assist this man to a hospital," she called out, keeping one hand on him while flashing her badge. Several of the people nodded their heads heading back into their homes, while others looked on with concern. Joss looked back at him, seeing his pupils dilated. He looked like he was going into shock.

"John, I have to get you to a hospital now," she whispered, deciding to drive him rather than call an ambulance; if he was under some sort of drug induced state he might become agitated. She gently took his right arm, sliding it over her shoulders helping him towards her car. Each step was a challenge for them both. She placed a hand on his torso, biting her lip to ward off the tears when she felt his ribcage. John was severely malnourished and he was freezing. She could feel him shivering though she couldn't tell if it was from the cold or shock, or maybe both.

"No hospitals," he whispered as she helped him finally to her car.

"John, you're going, its not up for discussion." she calmly stated all the while she felt like her heart was in her feet. She struggled to get him into her car but when she went to lift his legs in the car, he moaned in pain, clumsily trying to stop her from bending his knees. She squatted down at his level to help put the seatbelt onto him. She wasn't going to let him die from infection or worse by not taking him to the hospital just when she got him back. John didn't say anything else as she ran around to the other side of the car. She climbed in, he was shivering as he laid his head against the headrest. Joss cranked up the heat, blasting it for him, hoping to warm him up. She shrugged her jacket off laying it on him hoping to warm him up. He might be worse for wear right now, but he was alive. That was what mattered. They'd get him back to full strength, and then find the sons of bitches that did this to him. Joss pulled away from the curb. "John, hey, stay with me." she called out when she saw his eyes rolling the back of his head. He blinked as if trying to concentrate on her voice.

"Joss?" his voice was low as if unsure she was really with him.

"Yeah, John?" she crooned, trying to keep her own pain and panic over his state to herself.

"Are you really here?" the quiet question ate at her heart. Whatever they did to him made him question his own sanity.

"Yeah, I'm really here with you, you're safe now, I'm taking you to a hospital. John, who had you?"

"I don't know," he sounded confused, like trying to think right now hurt. Joss had a million questions for him but for now she thought better to keep them to herself. She didn't need to stress him out before she got him checked thoroughly out by a doctor.

"Its okay, it will be better once you're warm and feeling better." she assured him as she pulled up to a local hospital. "Stay here John, while I go get someone to help me come get you, okay? Please do as I say just this one time, I promise I won't badger you anymore about police procedures," she said and he shifted his eyes to her, he was trying to focus on her.

"Yeah right, you love to lecture me." He mumbled as his eyes slid shut.

"JOHN, you need to stay awake okay, I'll be right back." she touched him because she needed too and his eyes opened halfway. Joss gave him one last look before she exited her car and ran to the entrance of the Emergency Room to go find someone to help her get John inside.

* * *

Author's note: *peeking out* is it safe to come out, no one will harm me for completely destroying John? In my defense you need me able to post more to fix it *big doe eyes*

John's been gone a long time, but I needed it to be like that for the simple reason of the mess the team is in right now. Now they all need to heal, forgive one another, and learn what's going on.

Thank you for taking the time to read and review I appreciate the thoughtfulness you guys seriously rock :P I'll be posting more periodically for this story until the other two stories I posted first are finished, once they are this one will get more updates quicker, I'm thinking Friday or Saturday for chapter 2 of this story, maybe sooner if you guys seem to enjoy it.


	3. Chapter 2

Joss sat in his hospital room, eyeing John while he slept. An IV was running into his limp hand steadily dripping fluids into him, steadily trying to re-hydrate him. John was severely malnourished which she had known. The doctors said they were glad she got to him when she did because his kidneys were starting to shut down. John suffered a seizure as he was wheeled into the Emergency Room and her heart stopped the moment she saw him thrashing around on the gurney. John looked so helpless, she never thought she'd ever seen John in such a state and it left her shaken inside. Joss had run into the women's restroom to collect herself; it hadn't worked. Tears had flowed easily, steadily for her fallen friend, for a man that had come to mean so much to her. Joss had tried to remain professional and calm as the doctor began listing his injuries to her, they ranged from minor to terrifying.

Dr. Birnecki, John's ER surgeon, found burn marks similar to patients he'd seen that were electrocuted, though the voltage was low enough to not cause internal damage. The doctor had found bones broken in both his wrists, the deep grooved markings suggested what she had suspected all along, that he had been restrained for a long sustained period of time. The knee that he didn't want to bend while getting in the car with Carter turned out to be a ruptured quadriceps muscle and tendon. There also were markings of abuse; deep and long gashes crisscrossed his back, mangling it. Not an inch of his back seemed to be spared from the lashing that must have caused him a great amount of pain, but if she knew John he had not made one plea for stopping or for his life. Dr. Birnecki found several unusual cuts, almost done with surgical precision, one on the inside of John's right upper arm. When he examined it more closely he found an electronic chip that was small and activated. John had been tagged, it was a damned tracking device; someone wanted to know where John was at all times even if he managed to escape. As soon as she received it, Joss had turned the thing off and realized that John needed to be moved to a new location. His captors could be zeroing on his current location right now.

John's previous doctor and his new doctor, a Dr. Stevens, both agreed with one another that the most pressing concern besides all his physical trauma was with his severe malnourishment. John's body responded immediately as they started pumping fluids and nutrients in him, and Joss thanked her lucky stars for that good news. The doctor had placed John in ICU so he could closely monitor his kidney function. John had gone through several tests and the doctor had told her they'd know more in the afternoon. Joss eyed his exposed, bare chest where one of the incisions was. Dr. Stevens had been impressed and shocked at how much John had endured, believing him was lucky to be alive. Joss knew it was just John's new purpose, to save people that kept him alive. If his test results came back good, the concerned doctor suspected John would make a full but slow recovery. Joss eyed the splints on each arm that were holding his wrists in the correct position knowing when John awakened he wasn't going to be pleased to learn he was getting casts. He'd be even more upset when he was told he'd need to have his quadriceps muscles surgically repaired. She curled her fingers around his limp left hand, careful to not cause him any pain. She just needed to touch this man, to really know he was with her. John was a fighter, he wasn't going to let something like this, something would normally beat a mere mortal, keep him down. He was placed on heavy pain medication and anti-seizure meds until his dehydration wasn't quite so severe and antibiotics to fight off injections. She sat quietly watching him, holding his hand until her conscience began eating at her.

She was being selfish, she had found John and been by his side for over eight hours now, yet she hadn't contacted Fusco or Finch to let them in on the good news. John needed her help and had been in danger with the tracking device they found, she reasoned with herself. But it was more than that; she had been the one to find him and she selfishly wanted to be the one that he saw first when he woke up. Joss let go of his hand, determined to do the right thing. Joss stood up and walked to the corner of the room to look out the window. First she dialed Fusco, it was well past two in the morning now and she hoped he would forgive her for waking him up.

"What?" he barked into the phone, clearly unhappy to be woke up at such an ungodly hour. But a smile spread on her lips, eyeing John.

"Fusco, I found him."

"The sandman?" he still sounded sleepy and annoyed.

"I found John."

"You found John?" all sleepiness from his voice was gone now.

"Yes, he's at Albany Medical Center right now." She felt tears fill her eyes again as she continue to watch him, watching his chest rising and falling. "He's in serious but stable condition."

"Is he gonna be alright?"

"Yeah I think so, but Fusco, its bad." Tears she had been holding in for a couple hours now, flowed down her cheeks. "I don't know the full extent of what he went through but its-its beyond evil what they did to him."

"Did he say anything like who had him or why?" she could hear rustling sounds, knowing he was heading over.

"No he was disoriented, he didn't even know if I was real or not. I think they might have drugged him or something. He's in room 802, I have to call Finch to let him know I found him."

"You do that; I'll be there as quick as I can." She nodded before hanging up, hesitating only slightly before dialing Finch's number. She only had to wait one ring before he answered, which surprised her. She thought for sure he'd be asleep at this hour.

"Hello, detective?"

"I found him, Finch."

"Oh my god, is he alright?" Joss pressed her lips together, hearing the fear that it was bad news, but she heard hope in his voice too.

"He will be, he's at Albany Medical Center in room 802. John's in serious but stable condition."

"I'm on my way right now; I'll let Ms. Shaw know."

"Thanks,"

"Detective?"

"What Finch?"

"Is he awake, can I speak with him?"

"No, he's sedated. It's bad, Finch, he lived six months in hell. I'm going to find who did this to him and make them pay." she vowed. She just added it to her list of wrongs she was going to right.

"We all will," Finch said resolutely as Joss nodded her head, glad they were on similar ground in this respect. She was disappointed with Finch, but she'd let bygones be bygones if their mutual goal was to find the bastards that had done this to John. Joss hung up with Finch, then moved towards John and sat down, taking his limp hand in hers once again. His hands were cold with his own dried blood still visible.

"Finch and Fusco are on their way, John." She smiled, her eyes on his face, wishing his eyes would open. When he was well enough to leave the hospital, she hoped Finch would take him to a barber and cut his hair. It was much too long and once his beard was gone, he'd look like John again, well for the most part anyway. He had to gain at least thirty pounds back and get muscle tone back to be her 'John' again. Joss looked to his hand that was in hers, she lightly rubbed her thumb on his pale skin, happy he was alive.

"First it was my friend and colleague, Szymanski, who was killed because he was doing the right thing, putting away evil people. Then Cal was taken from me because he had questioned HR and then they tried to take my career from me for looking into their deaths. You were going to meet up with me later that night, to talk with me about HR and how you were going to help me prove they were behind my friends' deaths and behind the disappearance of that shooter's gun. You said I wasn't alone, that you'd be there to help me. I couldn't take much more loss and then I lost you," her voice wobbled and tears slipped down, falling on his limp hand. She wiped the rest away from her eyes and took a steadying breath.

"I remember walking to my car when I got a panicked call from Finch that you were grabbed. Fusco and I searched high and low for you with our only lead but we got to the mill too late, you were already long gone. Six months John, six long months of searching, praying, and hoping I'd find you alive because I couldn't think of what I would do if you were gone." She flicked her gaze from their linked hands to his face. His eyes were shut and he was so quiet. "I can't say any of this to your face but you mean so much to me. You're not just my co-worker on some extra side project, you're my friend. Sometimes I feel like you're my only friend in the world. We lost contact for a little bit after Rikers and Kara; it hurt, but I knew you were alive and well; but the idea of losing you like I lost Szymanski and Cal left me shaken because I don't know what I'd do without you."

Joss sat quietly eyeing him as he steadily breathed; she gently rubbed her thumb across his soft skin. 'Soft' wasn't a word she'd generally use for this man, but in this regard he was. His skin was so soft and now it was warmer than it had been when she first found him.

"I promise you, we're going to get the people that did this to you because I won't rest until they pay." Joss vowed, her hand tightening on his, knowing John would want to get the bastards as well. And they were going to do it together.

* * *

Finch hated hospitals; his usual unease upon entering them didn't occur this time however, his mind on much bigger matters. Mr. Reese was found, alive. His labored breathing filled the empty corridor as he raced off the elevator needing to see his missing friend. He limped as quickly as he could, finding the section where the halls split, rooms 800-810 were to his left. He found Mr. Reese's room number, the door was left slightly ajar and he entered. He heard soft murmuring but his eyes were on the bed where his fallen friend laid, unmoving. He moved further into the room, seeing the two detectives standing in the corner whispering, afraid to awaken John. They stopped talking immediately, moving close to where John laid.

"Oh dear, what did they do to you, John?" Finch flicked his sad eyes across John before lifting them to the detectives.

"We aren't sure. When I found John he was disoriented, he wasn't really able to tell if I was real or not. The doctor didn't say if he was drugged but I wouldn't put it past whoever grabbed him to have drugged him over time. What concerns the doctor the most, Finch, is the fact that John had been so malnourished his kidneys were starting to shut down."

"Oh dear god, is John going to make it?" They just got him back, he had to be alright he just had to be.

"Dr. Stevens thinks so; he has high hopes because I assured him John had been in perfect health before he had been taken. They pumped fluids into him and he started responding positively almost immediately." Finch eyed Joss as she ran down what she knew about his injuries. She appeared tired but he knew she wasn't going to leave John's side.

"Is this doctor the best they have? I'll pay for anyone as long as John has the best possible care."

"I think Dr. Stevens is one of their best, he gave it to me straight. If John's test results come back good tomorrow he expects John to make a full but slow recovery."

"Oh thank god," Finch sagged in relief, grabbing the back of the chair, afraid he'd fall to the ground. "May I ask detective, where did you find him, and how? I've been searching for any lead for six months!"

"Don't lie," her words came out angry, hurt, and mistrusting.

"I'm not. I assure you, detective, I searched for Mr. Reese just as you had, I'm sorry it appeared I wasn't. I didn't have time to defend myself nor, at the time, did I expect you to listen. I did not abandon John, he's my friend. I even asked Mr. Leon Tao to use his connections to search for John. I ran out of options, detective." She nodded her head as her arms uncrossed from her chest, her defensive posture receded as did the anger on her face.

"So did I, I turned to Elias for help," Carter conceded. Finch had as well. Elias had tried to help him though he couldn't find a single lead, maybe he turned up better results for the detective.

"Is Elias how you found him?" Finch asked.

"No, I got some weird texts."

"Weird texts?"

"Yeah, I left the meeting with Elias disappointed and worried, when I got three texts. The first one said Sand Creek, followed by a social security number, and then St. John's Cemetery. I followed them though I don't have a clue as to why, I guess I was just hoping it meant something. I got lucky, they did. I saw John staggering on the sidewalk coming up to the cemetery. He looked out of it and I didn't even recognize him until I came up to him."

"A social security number?" A thought was forming in Finch's mind. Could it be possible?

"Yeah."

"May I see your phone, detective?" She eyed him suspiciously but walked over to her suit blazer and jacket that were thrown on the back of the chair opposite from where he was standing. She held it out to him, over John's prone body, and he eyed the texts. Every hair on the back of his neck raised, the machine had given Jocelyn Carter John's whereabouts. But why hadn't it contacted him instead?

"Very peculiar, detective." he handed her the phone back, trying to make light of it.

"You know anything about this, Finch?"

"No, how could I possibly know anything about it, detective?"

"I don't believe you! I don't know why or how this is important to you but it is and I want to know why?!" she demanded. Her entire body language changed from the calm woman to angry. Finch wasn't about to tell her about the machine no matter how upset she got. It was for her own protection, the less she knew the better. He opened his mouth to disagree with her but Lionel Fusco beat him to the punch.

"Will you two please stop arguing; it's too early in the damn morning to listen to you two bicker at one another like an old married couple. When wonder boy wakes up, he's going to want to go back to sleep to stop listening to you two!" Fusco grumbled as he yawned mightily sinking in the chair where Joss's coats hung. He leaned his head against his hand and closed his eyes.

"Am I missing all the fun?" Finch turned and saw Ms. Shaw enter John's hospital room. Her detached demeanor helped on numbers, but he could swear he saw a flash of concern in her eyes when she eyed John but it was gone in seconds. "How is he?" she asked eyeing the room that was ripe with tension.

"He'll make it, but he's got a lot of injuries. The doctor's worried about his dehydration and how malnourished he is. If all is well with his tests they think he'll be alright." Joss sighed, giving Shaw the shortened version.

The brunette woman just nodded her head solemnly as she moved close to John, eying the marks on his body. She pointed to one injury. "This incision is long and shallow suggesting they cut him in the same spot over and over to induce an excessive amount of pain." Finch gulped, feeling queasy at that. He knew that Mr. Reese had been tortured, but hearing what he went through made it all too real.

Shaw looked at Reese's heavily wrapped knee and thigh. "Torn quadriceps? He probably pissed somebody off with his uncooperativeness and they retaliated with a baseball bat or something else to that effect. Classic injury-that'll hurt when he wakes up." She moved on. "Burn marks." Shaw said quietly leaning towards John to look closer at the burns.

"Yes, I know, Dr. Stevens thinks the voltage was not high enough to burn internally because he found no evidence of that, but high enough to cause John pain." Joss's voice had grown cold as she spoke, her sharp eyes on Shaw. If anyone walked in the room right now they wouldn't be able to breathe from the amount of tension in the room.

"I'm sorry if my going over his injuries upsets you detective, I didn't realize you were squeamish." Finch heard the dig at the detective and was going to explain to Shaw when they were alone not to do that again. Jocelyn Carter cared very much about John and was only acting out of her concern for him. "I'm just trying to figure out if they left any calling cards."

"Oh you mean like a specific form of torture that suggests one group or another? You think I haven't thought of that Ms. Shaw? Well I have, the doctor has told me the extent of his physical injuries and none of them point in any particular direction of who could have done this to him."

"You know detective, you are not the only one here that cares for this man. Finch has done nothing but search for John for the past six months tirelessly. As have I." Finch sighed, this was going to get out of hand, and this was neither the time nor place for such a discussion. Ms. Shaw and Jocelyn Carter were both very headstrong, independent, and dominant women. They were butting heads big time.

"It seems that Mr. Warren's family and friends are rallying around him. He'll need all of you while he recovers." Everyone turned to the stranger that had entered into what had become somewhat of a fray. The man wore washed out green scrubs and appeared to be in his mid-thirties. Finch assumed he was Dr. Stevens. He was carrying a hand held computer and a nurse had joined him.

"I'm Howard French, this man's employer...and friend." He eyed the detective.

"Yes, I called Mr. French. He was worried sick about his _friend_ John." Did Finch hear a tinge of sarcasm in the word 'friend'?

"I'm his girlfriend, Sam," Shaw spoke up and Finch turned to eye her, then the detective. Jocelyn Carter looked ready to tear Shaw apart.

"It's nice to meet all of you. But right now we need to examine John and change some dressings. Has he responded to anyone yet?" Everyone shook their heads.

While shooting daggers at Shaw, Carter explained, "I've been talking to him and rubbing his hand, but he hasn't responded at all."

Dr Stevens nodded. "That's to be expected. We don't know all that was done to John, but it's pretty clear he's had a rough time...really rough. His body and mind need to recuperate and that won't happen overnight. He also suffered a seizure. It's common for patients who've had seizures to be somnolent, sleepy for several hours afterward. Please keep talking to him; you'd be surprised how many patients remember being talked to after they've awakened. The same for touch. Now if you all wouldn't mind stepping out. Maybe go get a cup of coffee."

Everyone nodded before the detectives left first, followed by Ms. Shaw, and Harold stayed behind. "I'll pay whatever is needed for this man to have the very best possible care." Harold spoke.

"John's lucky to have a boss like you. He'll need some rehab when he's up to it and your assistance then could come in handy." After shaking hands, Finch exited the room and walked down the hallway to the small room that housed vending machines, some tables, and a coffee maker. Shaw stood apart from the detectives, as it appeared Detective Fusco was trying to calm Jocelyn down. Finch made his way over to Shaw.

"Don't put down the detective again Ms. Shaw," he said quietly as she eyed him.

"Is she on some sort of pedestal or something?"

"No, but I do not appreciate the fact that you tried to undermine her. She's a good detective, Ms. Shaw, more importantly, a good person."

"She'd better stay out of my way then Finch, because she doesn't like me and I don't like her."

"Well you are going to need to put aside your differences Ms. Shaw, because we need to find out who took Mr. Reese and we are going to need all hands on deck for that." Finch looked towards the detectives, while his mind was tried to come up with a list of suspects. It could be anyone out to get the 'man in the suit', people from his previous occupation in the CIA, it could have been anyone.

* * *

"Boss, I'm sorry." Fury burned in the 'Boss' as he eyed two of his men, the two that were supposed to be watching John. The two that were taken down by a man that was weak from lack of food and water, yet still they couldn't stop him.

"You're sorry, you're sorry?! You let him get away!" His hands tightened into fists as he sat at his oversized, handcrafted, cherry wood desk. "May I ask how he managed to do so, since I placed not one, but two guards on him? He was restrained to a table, but he managed to escape! HOW?!" he snarled.

"We aren't sure sir; when we left he was in his restraints. We heard a sound and when we entered the room, we saw the table, empty, and then he hit us from behind. We fought the best we could but his combat skills, even as weak as he was, well, he got the best of us." His body trembled with anger as they made excuses to him. There was no excuse. These guys were supposed to be good.

"I knew about his skills, that's why I placed a bounty on his head, assuring me that all the criminals would go after him, one of them surely could surprise him and we were lucky enough to have that happen. You twos' only jobs were to take care of those men that brought John to me and not let him get away. You did a phenomenal job with those men but you turn around and lose John Reese."

"Boss, we'll find him."

"He was my best chance at finding Harold Finch and you let him go." He uncurled one fist to press a button on his intercom.

"He was resisting our attempts at getting the information out of him," the two goons tried to explain.

"It was only a matter of time before he broke; no one could survive what we were putting him through for too much longer without giving me anything I asked for, even the name of his god damn mother! We were close! You failed me."

"Sir, we put the tracking device in him, maybe we can track him with that."

"No, we cannot because it has been turned off at a local hospital. I sent men to find him and they found nothing. The only John Doe that was admitted was a sixty five year old man who had a heart attack while jogging! Do you know what happens to people that fail me or cross me?" he asked as a slow smile filled his face. "Do you know what's going to happen to you two for allowing my best chance of finding Harold get away?" The door opened to his office and more of his men entered. He pointed to the two in front of him, and they were immediately grabbed. "They pay, with their lives." he said and with that his men yanked the two fools out of his office as they begged for another chance. He watched as they disappeared from his view before he hit the intercom for his assistant.

"Yes, sir?" her soft honeyed voice filled his ears.

"Get Ryder for me, have him come to my office tonight; he has a new assignment: to find either John Reese or Harold Finch, and bring one or both of them to me."

"Yes sir,"

"And afterwards Janet, come to my office."

"Yes sir," her voice went breathy as he turned his chair around facing the window, eyeing the high rise buildings of New York, his mind very much on what he was going to do when he came face to face with Harold after all these years.

* * *

Author's note: Poor John, he's a mess right now lol. The nameless and faceless villain does get revealed but much later, although the reason as to why isn't clear until VERY late in the story hahahahahahahaha. Next chapter: John wakes up :D

Thanks for reading, and reviewing! A special thanks to Elaine again for listening to my ramblings on and on about this story, and talking me through everything you are the bestest. I tried to post this yesterday but I ran out of steam by the end of the night so I had to wait till this afternoon.


	4. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: There is slight violence in this chapter just to let everyone know. Italics is a flashback just an fyi :)**_

* * *

…_crack…crack…crack…_

_His eyes closed trying to ward off the almost unbearable pain, he forced his face to remain a mask, forced his body motionless even though he wanted to writhe in agony. His back felt like the skin had been all but taken off, his arms felt heavy and numb from his arms being tied above his head. His bare feet felt like lead on the cold gray tiled floor with most of his weight supported by his arms and shoulders. _

…_crack…crack…crack… the steady sound of the whip was almost melodic if it hadn't caused pain that made him want to retch._

"_Where's Harold Finch?" He would die before he told them what they wanted to know. They weren't getting to him; they'd have to just kill him because he wasn't going to help them find Finch._

"_You'll never know," he thought he mumbled, no longer sure of what was real and what was in his imagination. A quick succession of harsh cracks of the whip against his back came one after the other. John took it, forcing his mind to go somewhere else to handle the searing torment. Before, in the CIA, when he was held against his will, tortured, and beaten for days before Kara or some other agent rescued him, his mind would have gone to Jessica. Lovely and poignant Jessica, what she was doing, how was she, hoping one day he'd see her again; it was what got him through his darkest days and hours. But this time, during this hell, his mind went to a certain fierce female detective: her dark caramel skin, her intelligent brown gaze, her sharp tongue that kept him on his toes, and her strength to carry on. He focused on her in his mind, wondering how her son was doing, if she was alright with HR, he wondered if she was healing after all the tragedy that had been following her as of late. Soon he felt nothing at all, his mind completely wrapped around Jocelyn Carter, ceasing his living hell, cocooned in a place of peace and happiness with her. Thank god for the short mental reprieve. _

"_Where's Harold Finch?" the man's voice was loud, angry, and had a slight accent, maybe Bostonian or a neighboring area, bringing him out of his reverie. John never saw this man's face, though the men that tortured him loved showing him their faces. But they weren't the real mastermind for why he was here, the real evil in the room, the one that he needed to know what he looked like and stop, he never got to see him. That man always remained in the shadows much like a ghost, but very much real. He wanted Harold for some reason, for what John couldn't possibly know but he'd do anything he was physically capable of to stop Harold from being harmed in any way. Even pay with his own life. _

_John closed his eyes as he felt several more snaps against his exposed, mangled back. Joss, Joss, Joss, his mind crept to moments when he was with her, basking in the beauty of her body and mind. Moments when she angered him, challenged him, been a friend to him, he allowed those to keep him sane and alive._

"_Why don't you just make this easy on yourself John, where is Harold and you can leave?" the voice cajoled. John knew he'd never leave alive whether he gave them the information they wanted or not._

"_Okay, you win__, __I'll tell you."_

"_I knew you wouldn't be able to hold out much longer," was the arrogant reply. The whip stopped lashing his back. The sound of heavy breathing behind him from the exertion the man was using to crack the whip into his back was the only real sound John heard in the otherwise silent room. "Tell me, John, and I'll let you go, where is Harold?"_

"_Come closer." John whispered. He didn't need to fake the whisper, between the pain and thirst-when was the last time he had a taste of water?-made it impossible for him to say anything beyond a rasp. The voice stayed in the shadows however, but one of his torturer's moved towards him. John lifted his eyes to the man and smiled. "He's-" John stopped and lifted his leg kicking the man in the groin, before he aimed it this time into the man's abdomen. He heard cursing, then suddenly an exploding pain in his thigh and knee as what felt like a wooden baseball bat hit its mark. John tried to get his mind to drift back to Jocelyn Carter, to tune out his agony. It didn't work this time._

* * *

Why was it so painstakingly difficult to lift his eyelids? His body ached, not for the first time, like it had been split in half, torn to pieces, and placed back together on purpose. This time he felt different though, this time it had taken a lot out of him. John forced his eyelids to move. Flashes of bright light were what he saw before his eyelids crashed down enveloping him in darkness again. Too bright, he felt movement to his right; he flinched, waiting for them to grab him. Damn it, it had been a dream, a wonderful delightful dream that he had escaped. He should have guessed it was a mirage, seeing Joss looking beautiful as she ran to him. His thoughts of her have been what were getting him by, but it was oh so real. He thought he had felt her touch.

Her touch had been soft, calming, and strong. Her voice had been music to his ears as she shouted his name. She shouted his name, though not in the way he wished. It had sounded panicked, not happy, worried, not lusty like she had an orgasmed around him, but none of it mattered because it wasn't real. He hadn't gotten away; his mind was playing tricks on him again. It had to be the drugs they introduced into his system, the ones that made him hallucinate, hoping he'd tell them where Finch was.

"John, are you awake?" the words were so real, they were breathed near his right ear. Joss's voice was with him again, warm and peaceful. "John wake up, please, I need to see your eyes," the soft command was compelling. Whatever evil face he saw staring down at him instead he'd deal with it then, he couldn't stop himself from doing as she asked even if she was a hallucination. John struggled to work his eyelids open again, they immediately slammed shut, but he did it again and again until they remained open. John shifted his gaze around the popcorn ceiling before it was blocked out by Joss's beautiful face.

"Joss?" he croaked. His voice sounded like it hadn't been used in years but he was sure he used it to taunt his torturers into killing him. Joss's hair hung down around her face as she eyed him from above with light around her like a halo, suddenly tears filled her eyes as a smile graced her lips.

"Welcome back, John," she whispered and he felt her hands on his cheeks before her face disappeared from his view.

"Mr. Reese is awake?" John heard Finch's relieved voice. John looked around struggling to see what was going on, where the hell was he, why couldn't he seem to move?

"Whoa, John, calm down you are going to hurt yourself!" Joss was back gently holding his shoulders down and he felt weaker than a baby. He hated feeling this way; it wasn't something he was accustomed to. John still didn't know if this was a drug induced dream, his mind playing tricks on him, or they were really here with him. Finch appeared and he looked oh so real, just like Joss did.

"Are you both really here?" Was he actually asking them it they were real or not? Like a hallucination would say they weren't real!

"Oh Mr. Reese, yes it's us, we are truly here with you. You escaped your captors and Jocelyn found you." John shifted his eyes; they were the only part of his body that didn't hurt towards her.

"It's true John, I got some texts that lead me to find you."

"So that wasn't a dream either?"

"No, it's not a dream, you're really out, and safe now." He felt the gentle touch of her hand across his beard roughened cheek. "I'll go get a nurse," she said as she went to slide from him. He reached out immediately, his wrist hurt but he ignored it. He caught her hand and she paused, eyeing him.

"Stay," he said roughly. In this condition he had little strength, she could easily withdraw her hand which frustrated him, but she didn't. Joss eyed him before her eyes slid to Finch.

"I'll go find a nurse for you, Mr. Reese," John shifted his gaze onto Finch as he exited the room. John continued to hold onto Joss's hand as he struggled to sit up. John's breath hitched as it felt like his back had a flame under it. His knee for some reason ached relentlessly, but he couldn't remember why. He ignored the breathtaking pain the movement inflicted on his battered body. But he needed to be able to see what was going on.

"John, please stop moving so much you're going to hurt yourself." She helped him settle back the bed where he was up just a little bit. Finch and a nurse came back into the room.

"Well hello there Mr. Warren, glad to see you finally decided to grace us with your presence." The nurse smiled as she looked at the monitors that tracked everything from his heart rate to blood pressure and the machines that ensured that he was getting the required IV fluids and medications he needed. John looked at the nurse, then Joss, then to Finch, and back to the nurse. Everything was happening way to fast and he could feel himself losing control.

"How long have I been here?" He suspiciously eyed the sterile off-white colored room that was mundane and surely going to make him go insane even more so than the drugs the torturers administered into him.

"You've been in the hospital for four days, John."

"Four days?"

"Mr. Warren, your body needed to heal so your body did what most do when they need to heal, it rested. Plus, Dr. Stevens, your doctor, gave you enough pain medication to help you rest."

"I'll be fine, I don't want pain medications. I want to be coherent-I have to be..." he commanded and the nurse lifted just her blue eyes off the monitors.

"I know you do, but let us work with you so you heal comfortably and yet remain 'coherent, as you said. Let me get your vital signs and I'll let Dr. Stevens know you are awake so he can come and examine you further."

John seem a little mollified by her comments, but had to ask, "When can I leave?"

Joss spoke up, "Thanks, Kris. We appreciate everything you've done." Kris? Reese thought. Joss knew this woman by name?

He watched the nurse take her leave without answering him before looking at Finch and Joss. "Get me out of here, Finch." He felt himself sinking back into oblivion, trying as he might to stay awake. He didn't want to let go; afraid that he'd wake up back in the hell hole he'd escaped from-or at least he thought he'd escaped from. Finch was in danger as long as the unnamed and faceless man that held him was out there!

"Mr. Reese, you're not going anywhere until the doctor releases you." He looked at Finch. Was he nuts? He couldn't stay here till whenever the doctor decided to let him out. No he couldn't, there were too many other lives at risk.

"What about our purpose?"

"What about it Mr. Reese? While I've been trying to locate you, Ms. Shaw has been handling them and will continue to do so until you are up to full strength."

Joss found herself supporting Finch. "I agree with Finch on this. John, you need to regain your strength and get better. This isn't something you can just shake off, John you have two broken wrists; serious damage to your knee, you dropped 30 pounds at least, and had a seizure from severe dehydration and malnourishment. The doctors said your kidneys were beginning to shut down. They estimated you hadn't eaten anything over a week and a half John, that's a very long time for the body to go without food. Maybe you got a little bit of water, but nothing else. You need to take time to get healthy and recover." He eyed Joss, she seemed upset, the last thing in the world he wanted to see. Before he could comment they were greeted by a tall man whom was wearing a white coat over scrubs. This had to be Dr. Stevens.

"Well a very good hello to you, Mr. Warren," the man grinned, walking up to his patient, staring down at him.

"It would be if you were telling me I could leave." The doctor laughed.

"Kristina said you were grouchy already about being here, I can assure you, Mr. Warren, you'll be here for a while. We'll be putting casts on your wrists tomorrow. Then in a couple of days we're going to need to take you to the operating room to repair the quadriceps muscles and tendons in your leg. Maybe, I repeat maybe, we can get you discharged a day or two later. Once I see a steady improvement on your overall health and you gain some weight back you'll able to leave." John grimaced. He was surprised but the thought of eating had no appeal to him-maybe because it had been so long since he had something substantial.

The doctor continued, "Hospital food doesn't rate any stars by the Michelin, but if your friends would like to bring you food they can. But that will be in a day or two, for now we'll start you off slow but still get lots of nutrients, protein, and food that will be easy on your stomach."

Gesturing to everyone in the room besides John, the doctor asked "Can you please leave while I examine Mr. Warren?" John reluctantly relinquished his hold on Joss's hand. She gave him a look as she followed Finch out of the room.

"Less on the drugs." John stated to the doctor as he began to examine him.

"Yes, Kris told me you said that to her as well. I'll cut back some, but you'll heal faster if you can relax and get much needed rest, and you can't do that if you are in constant pain."

"Less." he snapped trying to ignore the aches and pains everywhere. He found himself groaning and beads of sweat began to appear on his forehead as he slowly and painfully turned himself over at the direction of the doctor. God, he hurt, much as he hated to admit it.

"John, you need rest and you are in a lot of pain. The only way you'll recuperate faster is with lots of rest and to get that you need to be comfortable." John glowered as Kristina reappeared. She was going to be a strict nurse he could just tell. She helped the doctor change his dressings on his back before they helped him roll back onto his back. John gasped in pain, his whole body throbbed and he sighed when he felt the meds they just gave him through his IV made his eyes droopy. "Mr. Warren we promise you'll be back on your feet in no time; just allow yourself a chance to recuperate." Easy for them to say and soon it didn't matter because the world faded away again. He hoped to see Joss and Finch in his dreams-especially Joss. Maybe the nightmares would even begin to fade.

* * *

"Did he say anything about who had him?" Finch asked as they walked down the short hallway towards the elevators. The detective had to go to work and he had to help Ms. Shaw with a new number. Detective Fusco was going to keep an eye on John who was asleep again while they were gone.

"No, he only woke up a few minutes before you came in." The detective still was still upset with him. He couldn't fault her; he hadn't helped the detective at all in her searches for Beecher or Szymanski's deaths. He had been so involved in the fact that the machine was free now, and could give them numbers when it wanted to that he hadn't paid much attention to her plight. Finch was upset and a little confused that the machine had chosen to give Jocelyn Mr. Reese's whereabouts instead of him, but there must have been a reason. What concerned him the most was the fact that Mr. Reese had been taken, had a bounty placed upon his head, and the machine hadn't let them know about it. Finch had taken precautions to make sure no such thing happened to anyone Finch knew again. No bounties would be placed on their heads without him finding out about it.

"Are you coming back later tonight, detective?" he asked as the elevator doors opened and Fusco exited.

"Yes," her short answer was straight to the point. She quickly turned her attention to Fusco. "Fusco, when John's awake, try to get him to tell you anything he remembers. You call me with any details, okay?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, call you if wonder boy remembers who had him. Got it." he waved his hand at her before walking towards John's room. Finch eyed the detective, hoping to apologize to her for not being there to help.

"Detective…" he started and Joss shot him a harsh gaze.

"I don't want to hear it Finch, I truly don't. We'll work together to find who did this to John but otherwise just leave me alone, okay?" She sighed as she entered the elevator and he stood beside her as they clicked the first floor. They rode down the elevator in complete silence and when the doors open he allowed her out first. She walked purposely away from him, never once looking back. Finch watched her as she walked out of the hospital, knowing he had a lot to make up for to regain her trust. As she disappeared, he called Shaw and waited till she answered.

"How is the new number coming along?"

"Fusco was a help, our boy has a criminal record longer than a paperback novel. I'm guessing he got mixed up in something he can't get out of, or he's the fall guy. How's John?"

"Awake."

"Finally."

"Yes, Ms. Shaw, and he's a bit belligerent about being stuck in the hospital but he needs to rest and to regain his strength. Six months is a long time."

"You talk to the lady detective?"

"She doesn't wish to speak to me right now, Ms. Shaw. I'm going to give her some space as she requested. We'll just have to rely on Detective Fusco for the time being to help us with the numbers."

"I'll call you if this guy does anything worthwhile, Finch."

"Thanks Ms. Shaw, keep me posted." He hung up with Shaw and limped to his car. He had an important meeting with Leon Tao to attend to, to see if he found out anything that could lead them in the right direction of who had abducted Mr. Reese all those months ago.

* * *

Fusco entered Mr. Happy's room, finding him out cold. It was a little unusual to see him in this bad of shape, he was paler than a ghost and skinner than a pole. The man had lost too much weight; he needed some meat on those bones. The beard made him appear to be a hundred years old but he wasn't judging, it wasn't wonder boy's fault. Fusco slouched on the chair, wondering how long he'd be out and turned on the small television angled towards the sleeping man. Fusco adjusted the small five inch television that was on a pole attached to the hospital bed till he could view it. He flicked through the channels just generally doing anything to pass the time till he was graced with wonder boy's presence.

Carter's relationship with Einstein and wonder woman was poor at best for now. He was sure Carter would forgive the walking and talking dictionary eventually, she just needed time to cool off. It had been a long six months for them all, surely not as bad as John's had been however. Fusco couldn't wait till that time came when the team was back to normal because he was sure the hell sick and tired of running interference between the two.

It felt like days before John woke up, when it really had been just four hours. Fusco leaned forward in the chair looking down at the man. "Hey wonder boy, glad to see you are alive and kicking." he greeted. The man's eyes were the only thing that moved to look at him.

"Lionel, you've missed me," his soft whisper was music to the ears. He never thought he'd be this happy to hear the bane of his existence's voice.

"Yeah like I miss my ex-wife," he joked and he saw a ghost of a smile on wonder boy's lips.

"Where's Joss?"

"She had to go to work; she'll be back later tonight with Taylor. Your guy with the glasses had to go to a meeting, while wonder woman has to save some random hapless stranger too, so they asked me to come stay with your sorry butt."

"How long have I been asleep?" the sleepiness faded from his eyes but the pain didn't. John's body was tense all of a sudden, he wondered if the pain was that bad?

"Carter said you fell back to sleep just before she left. I've been here for about four hours so I'd say about that much time." The tension in Reese slowly fled and he realized why he tensed. He had worried he was out for much longer than that. "Do you remember anything?"

"You mean during the time I was held? Some."

"Do you know who had you?"

"No."

"What did they want?"

"Besides tearing my body apart, they wanted Finch."

"Einstein?"

"They wanted me to tell them where they could find him," Fusco nodded shortly. Which meant Mr. Happy had told them to screw off, earning him more punishment. "I don't remember too much though, Lionel. There were times when I couldn't tell fact from my imagination. I had no way of tracking time or much of anything else." Fusco wondered if he truly didn't know anything or if was he lying, so he could look into it himself. Carter wouldn't let that fly and neither was he.

"Come on John; tell me something that will help us find these guys that did this to you."

"The leader kept his face in the dark so I couldn't see who he was, the men that tortured me worked for him. His accent is from the Boston area somewhere, otherwise I don't know anything about him. I need to find him before he tries to hurt Finch; whatever reason he wants him its not to catch up on old times." John said shifting and the pain was back in his eyes. Fusco wondered if any normal person had been lying in this bed right now would they be screaming their lungs out in agony, while John was silent.

"Correction Mr. Happy, we're going to find him," Fusco stated and John's eyes shifted back on him. "No offense, but you're in no condition to do anything but lay there."

"Lionel, I can still kick your ass." Fusco laughed; glad to see his dry humor still intact.

"Yeah I know, but Carter and I are going to help find who did this to you. You might be the bane of my existence at times but you saved my life in more ways than one. I owe you, for that I'm going to find the bastards that did this to you."

"I didn't realize you cared," Lionel stood up allowing him to have the last word. He pulled his cell phone out.

"I need to call Carter, if I don't she'll skin me alive for not giving her a blow by blow report on what you had to say."

"Is she alright?" John whispered, bringing his gaze from the cell phone to Lionel's eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"She's been through a lot before I disappeared. Is she alright?"

"She's getting there; now that she has you back she looks better, not so pale all the time. Carter's tough, you know that," he assured the man as Reese's eyes slid half shut.

"Tough, but vulnerable," John's voice was growing lower as he fought the need to sleep. "She needs someone on her side."

"She does, she's got me and she's got you." He dialed her number pacing the floor while wonder boy struggled to stay awake. Carter answered on the first ring.

"How is he, Fusco?" she asked, concern in her voice. Lionel slid his gaze to John, walking over to him. "Is he awake, does he remember anything, does he need me to come back to be with him?" She rattled off question after question leaving him no chance to answer any of them.

"Hold your horses, Carter, John's alright, he was awake, looks like he's fighting falling back to sleep again though."

"He shouldn't do that, his body needs rest! Put him on the phone."

"Oh right, because yelling at him will make wonder boy do as you say. When did he ever do as you say, Carter?" Fusco joked and pulled the phone away from his ear. "Carter wants to yell at you to stop fighting sleep, Mr. Happy," a genuine smile lifted just the corners of his mouth up.

"She just likes to yell at me," he whispered. "Tell her, that this once I'll even listen." John mumbled as his eyes slid shut once more. Fusco lifted the phone back to his ear.

"He's out again, Carter."

"Is he alright?"

"Carter, you know as well as I do John's going to need time to recover. He remembers lots of what he went through, he wouldn't tell me much about it though. I'm assuming its bad from his injuries, he doesn't know who took him but he does know why."

"Why?"

"Finch."

"What does Finch have to do with all this?"

"I guess they nabbed John because of Finch, wanting to know where he was."

"How did they even know John knew Finch?"

"Beats the hell out of me, possibly they saw them together. Maybe Finch disappeared and they nabbed John to force him to tell him?"

"Plausible, Finch goes off the radar more than John does. John is in the field all the time for the work he does, but we need more to go on if they grabbed John for that reason. Finch might know who grabbed John but probably he won't tell us."

"I'm meet up with him, see what he knows, Carter."

"Thanks, but not yet, you need to stay with John until my shift's over."

"He doesn't need a babysitter Carter, he's in a hospital."

"I'm not risking losing him again, so stay there until my shift is over." She snapped before she hung up on him. Fusco sighed slipping his phone back into his pocket. He sat back down and watched television on the tiny screen once again, waiting for either when John awakened again or when Carter arrived.

* * *

Author's note: Yaaaaaay John's awake :D Although that may not be a joy for the hospital workers ;P I love adding Fusco in, he's fun to write :D

Okay...so I know I was supposed to post a new chapter to Its Not Over(an update for that is coming I swear lol), but I couldn't resist to posting this chapter for you guys :D FYI: I have a mini little ficlet its two chapters long and both chapters are purposeless smut for Careese };P don't listen to 'C'mon Let Me Ride' while outlining a new story for after Time Lapse or lemons will happen!

Thanks for reading as always, you guys rock :D


	5. Chapter 4

_**Author's note: This chapter is exceedingly LONG, it was originally cut into two separate chapters, but I put them together because it felt like the pace of the story was dragging. So that's why its so extremely long, I delve into what is upsetting Joss with Finch too. The villains come back, but I'm going to be starting to set up the mini stories that build up the main mystery, so please bare with me this story goes on forever lol.**_

* * *

"That might work on all the other female nurses here Mr. Warren, but batting those blue eyes at me isn't gonna change a thing." Kristina, John's regular nurse was a rare woman, seemingly immune to all his charms; she eyed him with a smile on her lips, her eyes however looked determined.

"I, I have no idea what you're talking about?" he feigned ignorance, sending her a slow smile.

"You have tried flirting and while your stuttering is utterly cute it didn't work. Now you are flashing those pretty blue eyes at me, what's next, huh-a declaration of undying love?"

"Would it work?" he sulked, coming to the realization that Kris was going to be one of those type nurses, the ones that you hated when you were in the hospital but missed when you were able to leave.

"Give it a try."

"I love you, Kris." her blue eyes sparkled, as a smile graced her lips. She held her chest right above her heart.

"Aw shucks John, I love you too, my boyfriend is gonna be mad at me when I tell him I fell in love with someone else." She reached down and tugged on the blanket and he held onto it, refusing to let go of his tenuous grasp on it. "However, it sadly didn't work; you're still getting that sponge bath. Come on, it's one of the parts of my job description that I enjoy thoroughly, especially for you," she winked. John refused to allow her to give him another embarrassing sponge bath. He was taking a god damn shower.

"What's going on in here?" John eyed Finch and Joss as they both entered his hospital room. John was tired of being here, having been there for a week now. He wanted to leave, but his doctor had found muscle and tendon tears in his leg and now Dr. Stevens wasn't going to let him go until it was repaired-which was supposed to happen tomorrow. And then, according to Dr Stevens, he'd need to go to a rehab center to get range of motion and strength back in his leg. John knew his injuries were extensive since he had never in his life felt so incredibly weak as he did right now, but he wasn't going to some damn rehab center! They had no idea who he truly was, he wasn't some damn investment banker; he knew how to train and rehabilitate his own body. He just needed to get the hell out of this damn hospital!

"What's going on in here, Mr. French and Detective Carter, is John just gave me a declaration of his undying love, which I happily reciprocated, but he's being stubborn to not let me give him a bath." It seemed to have taken forever just to get a chance to shave the beard off his face. Finch had brought him a shaving kit and with the assistance of Kristina and a wheelchair, he had gone to the bathroom, shaving it off. But it was done and he felt better, felt more human again. But receiving another sponge bath reminded him just how extremely weak he was and he hated it.

"I am done with you people giving me sponge baths." John scowled at Kris, deciding if being charming and sweet didn't work, he'd try a different tactic.

"Oh scowl all you want John, you're getting one whether or not you want it." She gave him a cheery smile as if she knew something he didn't. "Don't make such a ruckus of this John, but for unruly patients like you I'll go get Dev."

"Who the hell is Dev?"

"Dev is my muscle, he'll make sure you get a sponge bath or you could just be a good boy and allow me to give you one. You have two broken wrists with casts on them, you have tendon tears in your quadriceps, and you have more lacerations on your body than skin, so how do you think you can take a shower?"

"Easy, I'll tape bags over my casts, I'll take a quick shower so I'm not on my legs too long, and I'll keep the shower cool as not to harm my healing wounds." Kris's cheery smile faded and he knew she was worried about him. She loved getting her way, she was a pain his ass; she was always the one that found him doing something he wasn't supposed too. Like trying to get off this damn bed and walk around a bit. He was going crazy in this room staring, at the same four bland walls day in and day out.

"I'm giving you that sponge bath; I'll be back with Dev!" Kristina let go of his blanket and stalked out of the room. He didn't see the hint of a smile on her lips as she left. He eyed Finch and Joss who looked like they were hiding smiles.

"Get me out of here Finch!" Maybe he could get further with Finch then he appeared to be getting with Kristina.

"We talked with Dr. Stevens, he says you're improving little by little. He'll be in here in a little bit to examine you and said you'll be released the day after your surgery which is scheduled for tomorrow, but as long as you promise to do all that he says. He also informed us about requiring you to go to a rehab center for a couple of weeks for extensive physical therapy."

"Finch, I'm not going to some rehab center, no matter if that's the only way I can get the hell out of here." Finch softly smiled at him as if he knew he would say that.

"Detective Carter came up with an idea that Dr. Stevens listened too, liked, and agreed with. I'm sure you'll agree with it as well since it gets you out of going to a rehab center and still gets you the necessary therapy." John shifted his eyes back and forth between Finch and Carter, once again noticing the subtle way neither one really looked at the other. Something was wrong between the two, what, he wasn't sure, but when he was out of here he'd corner Finch about it first. If he didn't get satisfactory answers he'd ask Carter about it.

"OK, what's the plan?" He'd do anything, well almost anything, to get out of here.

"In-house physical therapy, as I assured Dr. Stevens I would pay for all the equipment you need to condition your leg to get range of mobility back and heal the rest of your body. He was even happy with the private trainers we selected for you, who happened to be Detective Carter and Ms. Shaw." John shifted his look to Joss who was smiling demurely at him.

"What, I can't be into fitness?" Joss's body was very fit and in shape in every sense of the term. John had known she worked out, but he hadn't realized she was trained to rehabilitate others. "Dr. Stevens seemed to think you'd listen to me, so I'll be able to get you in shape again. And since Dr. Stevens thinks Shaw is a physical trainer who happens to be your girlfriend, he agreed to her as well."

"Why is she posing as my girlfriend again?" John asked leaning back into the pillows slowly trying to ignore the shout of pain his back made as he made the movement.

"Long story, John, but we need to discuss with you about when you are released from the hospital."

"What about it?"

"You're going to stay with me and Taylor." John looked at Joss as her tone gave it finality, like he had no choice in the matter.

"And why is that?" he resisted.

"Well John, for starters, you'll overdo it if left to your own devices. You'll do too much too soon and end up back in the hospital, griping and complaining. I know you don't want to hear this, but your injuries aren't going to heal themselves in a week or two. Your injuries need real time to heal. You need physical therapy to hopefully repair your torn tendons and muscles, you need to gain weight, and to top it all off, your broken wrists will keep you sidelined and out of the field for at least five weeks for sure. You can't go shooting bad guys, trying to kneecap them with casts in the way."

"I can help Finch, Shaw will be in the field," John tried to explain; he wasn't completely helpless, at least he hoped he wasn't.

Finch chimed in. "Yes she will but, Mr. Reese, you will not be helping me, not until you have gotten some of your strength back and are healthy once more. I will not risk your life, no matter our purpose of saving lives or not. Your life is not below anyone else's." John eyed Finch, seeing the concern in his light blue eyes for him. He shifted his gaze to Joss; the same concern was there for him but also what appeared to be a determination as well. Neither one was going to budge on this. For now he had to agree until he was moving around better, then neither one could stop him.

"Fine," he agreed quietly. What was he going to do with himself for that long? He eyed Joss, he wasn't staying at her place though, he wasn't putting her out. "But I can stay at my place; I do not need someone watching me twenty four hours a day."

"John, you're staying with me," she said in a no nonsense voice. "Besides, I already talked with Taylor about it, he seems extremely happy to have Mr. Badass staying with us."

"Do I have a choice?" he demanded. He didn't like having to rely on anyone for anything; his dependency right now in this hospital was getting to him. Now he was being told that he was staying with Joss because they knew he would overdo it, which was true. He'd push his body to its limit to force himself to get better faster.

"Nope," Joss smiled before the door to his room opened. John groaned when Kris came back in with some large man that stood about seven feet tall, and weighed over two hundred pounds. The man's muscles were bigger than his body was at the moment.

"John meet Dev, Dev this is my imaginary lover, Mr. John Warren. Now that you two are acquainted, let's help Mr. Warren get cleaned up." Kris snickered at him. John sighed looking at Finch and Joss for help.

"We'll just leave and allow you to your business John." Joss spoke up before hurrying out of the room, Harold right behind him.

"Harold tell the damn doctor to hurry up, this is the last one I'll take before I bust myself out of here, release papers or no." he growled as Dev smiled politely yanking the blanket off of him without much resistance from his feeble grip on it.

"Yes Mr. Warren," John sighed as Finch whirled around and hurriedly hobbled out of his hospital room. He eyed Kris who appeared to be looking much happier with her muscle man around.

"Fine Kris, you win this round." He was ready to give in. But then she stepped outside and immediately returned with an unusual looking wheelchair. Now what?

"Dev, can you please help get John in this shower chair?" Shower chair-could it be he was actually going to get a real shower? She went on to explain, "John, even with the sponge baths, you're filthy from six months of dirt and grime." She didn't mention his dried blood. "We'll tape up your casts with bags and your thigh too. It needs to be short shower though. You'll see why soon."

Oh, the shower felt like heaven. At first the water ran off him dirty with a red tinge, but then it slowly cleared. Kristina washed his hair several times, being careful of a couple bruises that still hurt. Kristina gently helped with the rest of the washing and then asked him if he just wanted to sit under the warm stream of water by himself for a few minutes, which he gladly agreed too. John felt somewhat human again getting to take a real shower, and feeling the tepid water cascade over his traumatized body. He found his mind drifting as the water flowed off him, soon he was dreaming of Joss again. But this time he was enjoying a shower with Joss, with her washing his chest and him washing her lovely breasts. Kris came back catching him off guard, stopping his dream just as he got to the good part, and he found himself in an awkward situation, glad that she couldn't see his erection while he was seated in the shower chair. He was a man after all, daydreaming about a naked woman, especially a naked Jocelyn Carter was highly arousing. But, if Kris did see, she didn't say anything which he was grateful for and was quickly dried off, a hospital gown back on which he hated to wear, and was returned to the bed with the help of Dev again. He didn't realize how tiring a shower could be til he found himself shaking with exhaustion. Within minutes of climbing back into the bed he was sound asleep.

* * *

"I can walk." Joss sighed as they had the same argument now as they had for the past twenty minutes since arriving at their new apartment where they were staying during John's recovery. Taylor had been stoked when they had accompanied Shaw and Finch earlier in the morning to go look around the giant apartment that you could put three of his Mom's in this new loft alone. Their original idea had been to take John to her place, though they quickly changed their minds when they remembered that she wasn't on the first floor and it was too small. John was going to need lots of space, especially with all his exercise equipment that would be on the way. But John didn't seem to appreciate the fact that they were staying in a luxurious loft since he was unhappy with all the fussing at the moment. The man really didn't like to be so dependent though she couldn't say she blamed him. John was self reliant, leaning on her and everyone else; this had to be a hard pill for him to swallow.

"Well you're not." Joss had to keep reminding the man that he just had major knee surgery yesterday so walking wasn't on his to-do list as she pushed his wheelchair down the long hallway. John had been given strict orders not to put too much weight on his injured leg, and to use a wheelchair and crutches to get around. However she didn't see how he was going to use the crutches all that well with two broken wrists but she kept that to herself. John was just being grouchy because he wasn't feeling all that well, his body had to be hurting really bad right now with all this movement. She'd be glad to get him in their place to rest. Finch had taken John to get a haircut; thankfully he looked so much younger with the wild beast-man look gone. His hair was short like he always wore it, but it didn't have any hair gel or hair spray in it. It looked soft to the touch. For some reason her fingers itched to feel it, but she fought the urge. John's eyes looked tired; his face was pale from the exertion. He was getting more irritable as the day went on as his strength got zapped more and more.

She refused to allow him to walk to their apartment; incredulous when he had tried to climb out of the car ignoring the wheelchair. Tendons tears weren't anything to laugh at, if he didn't want to create more damage, he had to take things easy and do things her way, the right way. Finch and Shaw were following behind them with John's suitcases, his crutches, and Bear was hopping around their feet, happy to have his beloved master back. Bear was going to be staying with them for a while as well, to allow the dog a chance to spend some time with John. Joss thought they both needed that.

"Taylor, open the door for us," she called out, then she heard scampering footsteps and the door swung open. Her son smiled at John.

"Hey Mr. Badass, glad to see you alive."

"Thanks Taylor, glad to be alive." Joss rolled her eyes at them before Taylor moved aside to allow her and John through. Joss wheeled John into the spacious loft. The living room, dining room, and kitchen were one giant room, the entire apartment was 1900 square feet, and probably cost Finch a pretty penny. Joss looked around the loft that had been empty earlier that morning and was now fully furnished. There was a lot of space left open in between the dining room, and living room so she assumed that's where all John's equipment was going to be place. Her eyes shifted to take in their new digs.

There was a big brown suede couch with two matching sofa chairs facing a fifty inch television screen. A dark wooded coffee table with a beige floral rug beneath it sat in the space between the television and the seating. Joss was glad to see there was enough space for John to maneuver a wheelchair around there. It would make him feel a little more independent. The light colored hardwood floors and the soft gray colored walls gave the room an inviting, warm appeal. Finch had outdone himself with choosing this place. Finch promised to have her and Taylor's personal effects they needed and wanted as well as their clothing here by the time John was released. So far he held up his side of the bargain, if Taylor's XBOX 360 he couldn't live without sitting on the floor near the big screen TV was any indication.

Joss wheeled John to the comfortable looking couch, where she locked the wheels in place. Joss grabbed his elbow to assist him while Taylor helped by taking John's other forearm in his hands to help. Joss was shocked when John remained silent, earlier he'd sure griped about leaning too much on her, like she'd break or something. John slowly sat down, taking his time, looking extremely uncomfortable. Joss took a sweeping glance at the rest of the loft, seeing what Finch did with the empty room. The kitchen hung to the back of the apartment, when you entered the apartment it was to the left. It had chestnut colored cabinets, stainless steel appliances, a large kitchen island that had an overhanging granite countertop with high-rise rosy colored barstools sitting by it. The dining table was midsized, had six chairs, everything looked so beautiful. Finch was an interior designer at heart wasn't he? She might be upset with him, but he had impeccable tastes.

She walked towards what was to be her new kitchen for a few months to sling John's medications and all his first aid supplies he was going to need in the very near future onto the huge granite countertop. Joss made her way over to the door where a coat rack stood, placing her purse, than her coat that was slightly wet from the snow they were getting today. Today, she had called off of work, which she rarely ever did and the captain had been worried. She assured him she was alright but had a personal emergency. Joss pulled the sleeves of her purple long sleeved shirt up before eyeing Finch and Shaw.

"Where shall I put these?" Finch asked a little winded from carrying the crutches and a big suitcase full of clothes for John with his handicap, even though he had refused Joss's offer to get Taylor to help. Joss took the crutches from Finch, propping them against the couch where John sat before motioning for Finch and Shaw to follow her into the master bedroom. The only flaw of this loft was it only had two bedrooms; she had assured Finch when they saw it, it didn't matter, she would take the couch. The masculine navy blue bedspread was neatly made up on the king sized bed; the bed frame was low to ground which meant it would be easy for John to get on and off. Good thinking Finch. It was lightly decorated with two mirroring nightstands beside each side of the bed, and a lone dresser where she would place John's clothes. There weren't any suits, he wasn't going to need those for a while, so she was taking the closet space. She motioned for them to put John's things on the floor, knowing this room had the ensuite. Which is why she gave Taylor the other spacious bedroom, knowing they could use the guest bathroom for themselves.

"He's staying in here," Joss said as Shaw took her suitcases in her hands first, plopping them down near the dresser before grabbing the suitcase Finch had, setting them with the others.

"No he's not," Joss looked up to the ceiling, asking for patience as she exited the room with Finch and Shaw behind her, moving back into the living room where John had shouted his response. Taylor was watching them as if this was a fight match, his eyes shifting back and forth between her and John. Joss put her hands on her hips, glaring at John who was lounging uncomfortably on the couch. "I'll stay on the couch," he finished.

"No you're not."

"Carter…."

Her son seemed to take pity on her as he turned to eye John a bit with a small smile. "Mr. Badass, my mom is going to get her way. You may as well give in graciously."

"Do as Taylor says John, besides you're under my care. So, my rules, I say you take the room, you take the room, understood?"

"Power monger," he grumbled. Joss didn't care, she needed him comfortable so he could get rest and get better. If that meant she was to stay on some damn couch then that's what she was going to do. John would do too much too fast and impede his recovery rather than help it. Bear was lying beside John on the couch. The moment John shifted, the dog's head moved, not about to let John out of his sight. When it became clear to the dog that John was just shifting to get comfortable and wasn't leaving, Bear laid his head down once more. Taylor sat down on the sofa chair beside the couch and petted the dog.

"Detective, I'll let you know when the delivery men call to tell me they are bringing John's equipment."

"What equipment mom?" her son spoke up looking around the room.

"John needs some physical therapy from the trauma he's suffered. He'll be doing in-house physical therapy since we all know how John will overdo things. He needs to take things slowly because if he doesn't he'll end up back in the hospital." Taylor eyed John and then her and nodded.

"Who's your trainer, Mr. Badass?"

"Your mother and Ms. Shaw." Taylor eyed first his mother, than Shaw before a grin spread onto his mouth as he eyed John again.

"Uh-oh, my mom is going to put you through the ringer. Ms Shaw looks like she'll enjoy giving you orders just like my mom will."

"John, get better, we need you in the field, I have to go now." Joss eyed Shaw. They didn't get along, but for now they were on the same page with helping John. Shaw exited the apartment before Joss eyed John with concern.

John looked so pale from the jaunt from the hospital to the barber; followed by coming back to their place she was worried. She was worried it was too much too soon. The man had almost died a little over a week ago; surely it was too quick for him to be out of the hospital. John was wearing just a stark white t-shirt and some dress pants with the seam of the one leg cut all the way above the knee so he could get them on . He was still in his coat.

"Time to get comfy John, because I need to go out to pick up some food for Taylor, you and me." Finch promised to have groceries specific to her list and to John's diet before they got here, but she wasn't in the mood to cook. John's knee brace was wrapped tightly to help stabilize his tendons in his quadriceps; she knew sitting like this had to be uncomfortable. She needed to get him in a more comfortable position, hopefully enough so to get him to get some rest. He looked like hell.

He looked up at her, she saw tiredness and pain radiating from his vivid light blue eyes.

"I'm fine, if I need to move I can move myself." she heard the tone to his voice, knowing he was feeling under the weather, but she wasn't going to let him boss her around.

"If you thought Kris was hard, you haven't seen anything yet, John," she assured him, squatting to her haunches to undo the ties of his shoe laces to help him slip the shoe off, knowing that moving a lot hurt his mangled body. Taylor hurried around the couch and fluffed the pillows for him. John's lips thinned in irritation but he didn't say anything as she helped him slowly lift his legs onto the couch. John made only a sigh of pain as he eased back into a lounging position but his eyes told the real story. He was in agony, his pain medication must be wearing off. Joss hurried to the counter where she placed his meds and shook out two pills for him. She walked to the double door refrigerator with the freezer at the bottom of the gigantic appliance, yanking one side open, seeing it was stocked full of different things to drink and eat. Finch had gotten a wide variety of drinks ranging from milk, Gatorade that her son drank, orange juice, bottled water and more. She grabbed him a bottled water before making her way back to where he lounged gingerly back into the pillows on the couch.

"Take these," she ordered holding out the bottled water. John looked up at her; he must have been in a lot of pain because he didn't say a word about not wanting the medication. John threw back the pills into his mouth before taking a healthy chug of the water and swallowed. "Drink the rest of that bottle before I get back. After we eat for the evening, I'll change your bandages on your back, John." He nodded curtly as he laid back a little, slowly getting comfortable, curling his arms around his midsection. His white casts laid on his too skinny stomach, flashing her a bit of his skin from where his shirt rode up letting her see his navel. Bear, who moved when John laid down on the couch, settled near his master on the floor, right beside him.

Joss turned to eye Finch who was watching John with the same look of concern and worry as she had. Joss decided to be the bigger person, even if she didn't trust Finch anymore, it didn't mean she was going to stop him from being around John. John and Finch might work together might be boss and employer, but they were close friends as well.

"If you don't have any other person to go save or something you can stay with us for dinner," Joss offered. Finch turned his soft blue gaze onto her, seeing an emotion in them before he masked it.

"Thank you detective, but I must bid you, your son, and John farewell for now. I'll be back tomorrow to see how you all are doing. John, we must discuss what happened to you then." Joss eyed the smaller man quizzically as he walked to talk to John directly. So no one had filled Finch in on the fact that John had been taken and tortured for months because of him. She knew why, Finch wasn't going to take it well, and she couldn't say she blamed him one bit. She'd feel guilty even if it wasn't her fault that someone was abused in the worst sort of way just for knowing where she was. So that meant Fusco hadn't asked him if he knew who would take John and for what reason. She was sort of glad Fusco forgot, since John needed to be the one that told Finch why he had been grabbed. Joss headed to the kitchen to give John and Finch a little privacy, her son joined her.

"What are we getting for dinner?"

"Whatever you and John want."

"I could go for Chinese,"

"Okay I can't foresee John not wanting Chinese either."

"Is he going to be alright?"

"He will be, he needs time to recover, Taylor. He might be Mr. Badass but he's also human, which we are going to have to remind him of-often," she said quietly eyeing where Finch was bent down to speak with John quietly. "I need you to watch him though for me if I'm out when you're home, make sure he's not overdoing it or anything."

"Sure mom."

"Thanks." Finch and John's conversation must have wrapped up because Finch was limping to the front door. He paused to eye them before he exited. Joss followed Taylor as he moved back into the living room, flopping unceremoniously on the large sofa chair only as a teenager could, turning on the New York Knicks game. Damn was this television crisp, clear, and huge, surely Taylor would beg her to ask Finch if they could keep it. Joss noticed John's eyes lighten up considerably as he eyed the screen. She had no idea he loved basketball. He looked comfortable now although he was still wearing his coat.

"Do you need help taking your jacket off John?"

"No." Of course he was going to be stubborn and not allow her to help. But she was just as stubborn if not more, so she guessed everything was going to be fight for them. She moved close to him blocking his view of the game, his eyes were the only movement his body made. They made their slow ascension of her body before staring into her eyes. Bear moved aside and sat staring, carefully watching his master.

"Do you want it off or not?" He sighed, realizing she wasn't going to let it go. He struggled to sit up; she saw the sweat lining his upper lip from the exertion and the wince of pain, then the flash of annoyance at himself. John was angry; it was taking so much out of him just moving to take his coat off. She felt bad for him. Joss gently grabbed his forearm to help pull him up which he immediately tried to shake off. She forced her own ire at the man to fade, knowing he was trying to assert a little independence after having needed to lean on people just to get on the couch. She and John wiggled his jacket off and he laid back onto the couch looking whiter than a ghost.

The doctor had a long list of things for John to do; also he had given her strict instructions on his diet. He needed to fatten up, he had to gain at least three pounds a week if not more until he was back to a healthy weight for a man at his six foot two stature. She was going to cheat, John deserved a treat after the hell he's been through and she was going to give it to him; besides John could benefit from the high calorie dinner tonight. Joss carried his jacket to where her son's and hers was hanging up on the coat rack. "We're getting Chinese, John, what would you like me to order for you."

"Whatever you are getting is fine," he answered quietly. She walked back into the living room. Bear was sleeping once more on the floor beside John. Taylor shifted his eyes from the basketball game to eye her and John. John was watching the game quietly with drooping eyes. The pain medication must be kicking in, and with his strength zapped, and, not feeling well, John was fighting a losing battle on remaining awake. His eyes fully closed, and she smiled, unable to resist touching him a little. She laid a hand on his cheek and whispered 'sleep well' before she moved away. "Watch him for me Taylor."

"I will." He smiled and she nodded before rushing out of the apartment, softly closing the door while wondering just how long it was going to take John to get back on his feet.

* * *

Finch would have stayed and ate dinner with Detective Carter, her son, and John but he had pressing matters to attend too. Leon Tao's number came up again and he feared it was because he sent the man into the lion's den to find a lead on Mr. Reese.

"Ms. Shaw, have you found him yet?" he asked as he limped to his car, feeling empty without Bear accompanying him. He climbed in and began driving back to the library while listening with bated breath.

"YES! He was about to bite a bullet, I got here just in the nick of time," she growled into his ear and he could swear he heard Leon in the background. "This moron fleeced some thugs while he had been asking around for information on who had Reese and figured he'd get away with it! Next time I'm going to shoot him myself," Shaw snapped. Finch allowed the sigh of relief out, feeling much better now knowing that Leon Tao was alright.

"Please, Ms. Shaw, come meet me at the library; we have much to discuss." He had a terrible sinking suspicion that Mr. Reese was hiding something of great importance from him. He wouldn't tell him the reason as to why he had been taken, clearly remembering but claiming not too. It worried him. Why wouldn't Mr. Reese want to inform him as to why he had been taken? He knew Detective Carter wasn't going to stand in the way of their friendship, it wasn't in her. She didn't hate him; she was upset with him but he saw the difference as she asked him to stay for dinner. He was going to try to make it up to her by looking into Beecher's death when he could spare a moment. She knew it was HR but she needed proof which was going to be very tricky to get.

"Yes thankfully even I want to kill this guy." Leon Tao had a penchant of finding trouble. Though Mr. Reese found Leon Tao amusing at times, Shaw just found seemed to find him irritating. Shaw was so different from John in the respects of how they treated their persons they went to save. Shaw treated them just as anyone else, while John found himself becoming involved with them, even if he tried to remain detached. It was why Shaw and John balanced each other so well when they worked together. John made Shaw care a little more, while Shaw helped John in the field so he wasn't alone in the fight anymore.

The numbers never stopped coming, they had saved Tanner Cahill's life from one of the street gang he screwed before sending him to prison. Then it was Leon again. It had been hard when John had been missing. It still was now that he was found but incapacitated. Shaw had filled in as best as she could and she did phenomenal but he missed John. He could swear Shaw missed John too, though she'd never admit it.

Finch pulled up to the curb at the back of the library where he exited and was making his way towards the library when a payphone rang. He sighed, the numbers really never did stop coming. When one was saved another was about to become immersed in a deadly act. Finch hobbled to the payphone and picked it up.

* * *

Shaw slowly entered the darkened library. Only one dim light illuminated the library as she moved into the area that Finch had set up shop as his HQ. Finch was quietly sitting at the circular table typing away at the computer; the only thing missing was Bear. His dog bed empty, his toys forgotten, and she missed him. Bear had that effect on everyone she figured. Shaw had seen a considerable difference in Finch now that John was found alive though seriously injured. John's physical injuries were going to take months to heal and if she knew John as well as she thought she did, he was going to be pissing and moaning about the length of time he was going to be sidelined. She couldn't say she blamed him however; she understood the need to be out in the field rather than sidelined with an injury. Gunshots, as crazy as it sounded, were easier to deal with than what John suffered through.

Her hands were habitually shoved in the deep pockets of her long black coat as they were right this second. She stopped short near Finch, when he finally looked up.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yes, but first we have a new number," he stated quickly, looking through his books getting the social security number.

"When do we ever not?"

"Ms. Shaw, have you heard anything on Decima yet?"

"No, it seems like they packed up and left when they couldn't control the machine." She didn't believe that to be the case, she believed they were trying to locate where the machine had moved to. But she was sure they'd be back. She eyed Finch, seeing he was tense; whatever he had wanted to discuss had him upset. "How about you get to talking while you find out who is either in need of our assistance or who will be pissed when we stop them."

"Has Mr. Reese informed you of any detail as to what or why he had been held against his will for six months Ms. Shaw?" Finch asked, his gaze lifting from the computer screen to her. She shook her head.

"No, I thought he'd tell you."

"He claims to not remember the details all that well, but I find it hard to believe him."

"Did you ask Detective Carter?"

"No, why? Do you think he would have told her?"

"Their tight, I'm sure he told her." Shaw shrugged walking around as he began typing once more. Shaw was a good read of people; it was easier that way, finding their flaws and using them to her advantage. It helped in the field. But she also read the people she worked with, trusted on some level as well, to understand and work with them better. Neither John nor the detective were easy to read, quite to the contrary actually and it was a challenge to figure them out. But when it came to one another they were as transparent as one could get. They cared for one another; their connection was deep between them.

It was in their body language as they spoke to one another. The way they moved towards one another like magnets unable to resist the pull. Shaw witnessed them touching, not on purpose but on accident as if they weren't conscious of what their bodies were doing. It was in their voices as they spoke to one another. Quiet, encompassing, and if you walked in on their conversation you had the sense you were intruding on them. But most of all it was the way they eyed one another. The only time she ever eyed a man the way the detective eyed John, or was eyed by a man the way John eyed her was when she was having sex. However, their eye contact was on a much deeper level than her empty meaningless trysts. The way they spoke with just their eyes, spoke of their connection. If anyone he would have told, it would be her.

"What do we have Finch?"

"His name is Victor Bailey," Finch's fingers moved quick and with precision as he brought up some more information on the man. "He's lives in a small town south of Bronx called Parkchester, he's got a wife named Ada Bailey."

"Got an address yet, so I can go get eyes on him?"

"I will."

"Text me it," she called out as she began walking back for the door. The work was never done and these numbers never stopped coming in which was fine by her because, as a dead woman, she really had nothing to do anyways.

* * *

"You know I'm going to start charging you extra for calling me out on my time off," Fusco griped as he walked up towards the tiny four eyed man that had summoned him about fifteen minutes ago to come meet with him in Columbia Park. It was after seven in the evening now, wonder boy was out of his jail cell called a hospital room for hours now, surely it wasn't to go babysit him. Carter had him. He eyed his watch again, he had somewhere to be at eight tonight.

"I do not pay you at all."

"I know," he sighed four eyes wasn't getting it. Not that he minded helping them, he felt like a better person, felt redemption as he helped Einstein and wonder boy. He just couldn't always be at their beck and call either, which was the point of his comment.

"Well thank you detective for meeting with me, I know you have a personal life with your son and such, but it's dire that we speak."

"Let me guess you need help on a case. Since you and Carter broke up, you need my help all the time. When will you two kiss and make up anyway? She needs to share in the caseload, and don't you know how a phone works anymore instead of making me meet you at some park for a date?" Fusco demanded, flinging his questions one after another at the odd man that had somehow become a friend of his. An odd friend, but a friend.

"Detective Carter isn't ready to forgive me just yet. And yes, I may need your assistance on a new person of interest, but that is not why I called to have you come meet with me detective. This is important, too important for just us to speak on the phone. Please," he motioned for him to walk with him. Lionel had been hoping this would be a five minute meeting and he could be off on his way. He had a date to get to tonight with Rhonda. They had been dating off and on for a while now, he liked her and, surprisingly enough, she liked him back.

"Can we make this quick? I do have plans tonight for once."

"Sure detective, I really only have one question for you and you may be on your way for the evening."

"What?"

"Has Mr. Reese shared any information about his ordeal with Detective Carter? More importantly, did she share that information with you?"

"With Carter, not sure; but I told her everything that the crabby commando told me in the hospital."

"So Mr. Reese told you what he went through?" Fusco stopped moving and Finch paused as well, turning to face him fully. Wait a minute four eyes, didn't know yet? Mr. Happy told him on the day he woke up why he had been taken, what happened, not so much. Mr. Happy hadn't made a peep about the actual torture he'd endured. He hadn't offered and Fusco didn't ask. It wasn't his business anyway, which is why he assumed John had told him why he had been taken. He knew he wouldn't push for any additional information the way Finch and Carter would. Mr. Happy had to deal with it in his own way and the way Fusco figured, talking about it wasn't his way.

"Not in so many words,"

"What did he say detective?"

"Well to be perfectly frank, he didn't really tell me what he went through."

"What did he say exactly?"

"He told me why he was taken."

"He knew?"

"I guess. The crazy guy that had John kept in the shadows like a cowardly ghost, but made his reasons known to John as to why he was nabbed."

"Why?"

"Before I answer that, care to explain to me why he hasn't told you in person, Mr. Vocabulary?" Fusco wasn't about to tell the much smaller man what he wanted to know until he heard why Reese was being close lipped.

"I honestly don't know, Detective Fusco. I asked Mr. Reese and he claimed to not remember anything during his time there. At first I thought it was his pain medications for the lack of memory, but now I feel like Mr. Reese is purposely leaving me in the dark." It hit him like a ton of bricks as to why wonder boy was keeping four eyes clueless. He had been taken because of Finch himself. John was tortured for his whereabouts and once Finch knew it, surely guilt would eat at the tiny man's conscience. Well, if wonder boy didn't want Einstein to know the truth yet, he wasn't going to tell him.

"Sorry no can do, Finch, I'm not telling you." Fusco stated. He rarely used their surnames; it was in his nature to give them nicknames, especially when they irritated him. But this time was not for it; this time he needed Finch to realize he was being sincere. "You'll need to speak to him; when he wants you to know he'll tell you."

"How am I to search for whoever did this to him if I do not know the reason as to why he was taken in the first place?"

"Again, sorry I can't help you; wonder boy would have my head on a platter if I blab. When he wants to tell ya, he will; now I got a hot date to get to," he pointed over his shoulder. Finch looked upset with him for not telling him why John was taken but he would just have to get over it.

"Yes, go enjoy your date, detective,"

"Thanks I will. You know Einstein, you should really consider getting a personal life too." Fusco smirked before turning around, making his way back to his car, knowing he left Finch with more questions than answers. Fusco pulled his cell phone out and dialed Carter's number. Before wonder boy had been released Finch, Carter, Shaw and himself had met up at a small diner to discuss where John was going to stay. Dr. Stevens had informed them about wonder boy needing physical therapy and needing to head to a rehab center. They all knew wonder boy wasn't going to go to one, nor listen to any of the trainers there if he did. They all agreed upon the fact that leaving John alone at his place was a no go too, since the man was the worst patient they'd ever seen. Wonder boy had tried to get out of his hospital bed to walk around, trying to do too much, too quick, far too many times and had the law brought down on him by Kristina, his nurse; his hot, straitlaced nurse who had not allowed Mr. Happy to charm her. Most girls probably would blindly listen to anything the man said, but not Kristina.

They immediately voted for Carter to have him at her place, leaving her open mouthed and stunned. Fusco didn't want to have the crabby commando under his roof. Shaw was too cold of a chick to handle having John around and she was doing her thing with four eyes anyway. Finch wanted to allow Mr. Happy to stay with him, but was sure that he wouldn't listen to him. This was why they all nominated Carter to have him. Although, had Fusco known four eyes was going to get Carter some cushy place to live, it would have made him put up more of a fight to have wonder boy. But putting jealousy over the new digs aside, Mr. Happy was in the right place. John listened to her even if he griped and complained. Besides Carter was more stubborn and pigheaded than crabby commando was. She would run a tight ship for him which would get the man back on his feet much quicker than if he stayed with any of the rest of them.

Wonder Woman offered to help with the physical therapy, knowing how to help rehab John. Carter agreed and when she was given the green light from the doctor, Carter and Shaw were going to split up the physical training duty. He almost felt bad for the crabby commando; both Carter and G.I. Jane were going to have fun busting his balls during that time. Fusco was about to hang up after the seventh ring when Carter finally answered her cell phone.

"What's up Fusco?" she asked.

"Four eyes wants to know why John was taken, he might ask you about it. I told him wonder boy would have to tell him."

"Good, I think it's best if Finch hears it from John himself."

"How's crabby commando doing anyway?"

"He was sound asleep for a while there; I just reheated his Chinese for him. He's already restless and he's been here exactly three hours. This is going to be a long night," she sighed. Better her than him, Fusco thought.

"Okay, four eyes informed me that he has a new person he might need me to look into. When are you two going to make up? I'd love to share some cases again with you."

"Fusco, you know how I feel."

"Yeah, I do. But he didn't abandon wonder boy like you originally thought, so can't you take one strike against him off?"

"Sure, but what about not helping me with Beecher and Szymanski's murders? Or leaving me to hang out to dry with the IAB investigation into a shooter's death that had a gun? HR was going to take everything from me, they threatened my son, and he couldn't even be bothered to help me out with that? John was going to help me and he disappeared. You were trying to help me. You were my support, but he-he didn't do anything. Elias did, a criminal helped me save my career _for now_, instead of my so called friend, so forgive me for not wanting to speak with him Fusco." Carter's tone was angry and hostile still. Nope, she was still pissed with Shaw and Finch.

"I know and it will take time to forgive and forget, I get it. Give my worst to wonder boy for me."

"I will," a lighter tone filled her dark voice now as she spoke about John. "You have fun on your date, Fusco."

"That I will." he smiled and hung up with his partner and drove to meet Rhonda for dinner.

* * *

Joss turned her cell phone off before she walked back over to the microwave where John's food was warming up. The sound of three dings filled the quiet apartment. Taylor had gone off to his new bedroom to study for his history test, while John glowered on the couch. Taylor and Carter shared a conversation at dinner, then she had read the newspaper while John slept which wasn't the norm for her. She never had time to read the newspaper anymore and it was a nice change. John's sleep had been restless and he had awakened with a moan of pain but otherwise was quiet. She made her way over with his food steaming from the container and held it out to him. He struggled to sit up and he gruffly told her to stay away when she went to help him up.

"You know, you have more bark than bite right now, right?" she chided, reminding him of his weakened state not on purpose to hurt him, but to remind him he was in bad shape. The man thought he was invincible, which he was slowly learning wasn't the case. She didn't need to listen to him, but she was going to allow him to try to do it on his own. When he failed she could gloat. But unfortunately for her, the man achieved sitting up on his own, but was looking ill from doing it all by his lonesome. She grumbled under breath about men being babies before she pushed the container of hot food into his hand waiting for him to clasp it with him fingers. The cast wasn't so bulky, allowing John a little bit of grip on things. Joss gave him a fork knowing chop sticks would be hell on a man with two broken wrists, they were hell to use when your hands were fine!

"Thank you," he said quietly as he used the fork to stab at his food. Joss sat on the sofa chair watching him like a hawk. She was going to make sure he ate every last drop of food in that container. She didn't like how skinny he was, the sooner she fattened him up the better.

"After you're done, I'm going to change your bandages on your back for the night. The doctor wants me to change them every 8 hours to keep them healing without any infections." The task of cleansing his wounds, reapplying the bandages to his back seemed to be the worst one for her. It was bad enough seeing John so terribly thin she could feel his ribcage, seeing the sunken in eyes, knowing the agony his body still was in, the broken wrists, the physical therapy for his legs were all bad. But seeing those disturbing ten to twelve inch long gashes crisscrossing his back everywhere on it, overlapping one another, knowing they had been dealt upon his body for no other reason than to cause him great pain would hurt to see, let alone treat.

He would always have those scars as a constant reminder of what he had been through, made a lump form in her throat, refusing to go away. She had no idea of what else he suffered; he hadn't said a word about it. She couldn't fathom the torture he endured for the six months, surely when one technique didn't work, they moved onto another, and another. Joss looked away when the lump in her throat got worse and a stinging in the backs of her eyes begun. This man was a good man, she knew he didn't think it, but she did. He didn't deserve to have been placed through that hell. Not a living soul deserved it, and yet he came out alive. She reminded herself that John wouldn't be happy to see tears for him, forcing them down with a quick swallow and rapid blinks. She forced her emotions under lock and key for it was the best for John. She'd worry what was best for her later, like always. John quietly ate the rest of his food without saying a word. When he was done, he moved and gasped as he stiffened.

"Are you alright, John?" She snapped out of her musings, on her feet in seconds in front of him.

"Fine," his voice was curt, controlled; his breathing was coming in and out of his nostrils quick. He wasn't fine, not from the look in his eyes; they slightly teared up, not from crying but from not blinking. His entire body didn't move, he was like a statue as he tried to ride out whatever wave of pain engulfed him. Joss was helpless; she didn't want to touch him, afraid of causing him more pain, so she waited. His body relaxed a little as she snatched the empty container and fork from him. She flung the container into the trash bin under the kitchen island, and slung the fork in the sink. She eyed the clock seeing it was too early for him to take his pain medication, deciding it was time to do the bandages.

"I need to change your bandages John," she said quietly as she grabbed the supplies on the island countertop and trudged with the bags over to him. She plopped them onto his lap, before turning around. "I need to wash my hands make sure they're squeaky clean for you," she tried to make a small joke. John's lips barely moved in a smile. She pointed a finger at him before she made it all the way towards her bathroom. "You move one muscle, I'll show you how much you'll wish Nurse Kris was here instead of me," her voice was tight, her gaze sharply eyeing him. Then she smiled at him. "Kay?" he nodded his head and she hurried to the bathroom to wash her hands.

Joss came back within five minutes with a dry and a wetted towel seeing John in the same position, glad for the time being he was listening to her. Maybe the agonizing pain he had been in helped her since he had moved and it caused the pain. John slowly slid his right leg off the couch having a hard time managing any movement with his knee brace, trying to keep his knee straight, allowing the muscles to heal as much as the tendons and she clucked her tongue at him.

"Let me do it Joss," he whispered, his voice uneven as he exerted himself. Joss didn't want to let him do it; afraid it would cause him too much pain and it was hard enough to see him in it as it was. But she couldn't coddle him or it would upset him further. So she nodded curtly.

"Only if you promise the moment you need me, you stop and ask."

His eyes were on hers. "You have my word," and she was good with that. Joss watched as he moved. She had to ball her hands into fists to keep herself from assisting him. John wanted to move and do this himself, she'd let him. John was sitting up after ten minutes and he looked triumphant but tired. "My body doesn't seem to want to move," he griped as she allowed him a chance to sit there for a few minutes.

"Its because your body has been traumatized, John, and you try to push yourself too far too quick. Your injuries aren't ones that will heal after a week," she reminded him, sitting down beside him on the couch, behind his back. Joss eyed his form. "Can you lift your arms above your head or will that hurt too much?"

"I can do it." She sighed, hoping he wasn't just saying that he could just because he didn't like to say he couldn't. But he seemed to be able to do so, his arms lifted above his head and she carefully lifted his shirt up and over his arms. John slowly lowered them when she flung his shirt on the floor beside them. It hurt, she knew and she hoped Finch packed John some buttoned down shirts that wouldn't require pulling it on over his head anymore. The entire length of his back was covered in bandages and she slowly began removing them one at a time. Joss wanted to cry, eyeing each new slice on his back from the whip. She knew it was a whip just by the length of the gashes, and the deepness to them. Once she was done with his back, she'd change the bandages on his wounds that were from the incisions, and gently apply ointment to the burns he sustained from being electrocuted. "I hate this," his soft voice filled the room after a few moments. She paused for a few seconds before she began once again rubbing the anti-bacterial ointment the doctor prescribed on the a gash near his shoulder.

"What?" she asked equally quietly.

"Needing to be taken care of, not being able to help Finch, and not being able to do what I'm used to doing."

"I know John, it's hard and I think I'd react the same way, so I understand. You are so used to doing things on your own, taking care of your own aches and pains, but this time it's a little more than you can just bounce back from. You need help and we are here to give it. You were alone for so long in your hell but you're not alone anymore. We are going to take care of you."

"What happened while I was gone?"

"What do you mean? I already told you about Elias coming to my help with the IAB investigation against me. Beecher and Szymanski's deaths are still unsolved, which I'm going to need your help on John, like you promised. We already discussed this while you were in the hospital."

"No, I meant what happened between you and Finch?" Joss paused, not realizing he had noticed.

"What do you mean?" she decided to let him ask her point blank, giving her a chance to figure out an answer that would suit him. Joss placed a fresh bandage to his first gash and moved onto his next one. First cleansing it with tepid water on a lint-free towel, then padding it dry, adding the ointment that surely stung him as it cleansed and healed it, then a new bandage. Joss wondered if he was going to answer her as she finished the second wound. John barely made any sound of pain so she had no idea if she was being gentle enough or not.

"You won't speak more than a few works to him. I noticed the way you purposely look away from him and the looks you send him I've seen you give to criminals. What happened?" he said after a long while. She sighed, wishing he had decided to drop the subject.

"I was upset, I said some things to him because of it and I'm still upset, John. I felt like he abandoned you...and me."

"What, Finch would never do that?" John seemed truly shocked to hear her say that. She shrugged, knowing he couldn't see it.

"I don't know, it's how I felt at the time. He kept coming to me with new persons to help him save, never once mentioning you, or his looking for you so, I got upset. It was just a little of everything John, he came to me for help for his persons but wouldn't help me with Szymanski, Beecher, or my IAB investigation. HR threatened my son, me, and my friends, John! You were going to help me, be there for me, and then I lost you," she whispered the end part. She gentled herself as she realized she was roughly putting on another new bandage afraid she was hurting him.

"Joss, I'm sorry for not being able to help you." She dropped the wetted towel she was using to clean his back. Why was he apologizing for something that was beyond his control?

"Don't apologize, John! It's not like you asked to be grabbed and tortured for six months. You have nothing to apologize for. I just meant you were going to be the one to be on my side, not Finch, and you were taken from me."

"I'm sorry you feel this way about Finch, he's a good man."

"He might be, but I'm tired, John. He wants my assistance, but it's a two way street. I needed his help and he didn't give it so I'm done with him."

"You're done helping save lives?"

"Don't put words in my mouth," she snapped.

"It's what you said."

"No I said I'm done with him, I'm not done helping YOU in our little side project." She wasn't going to admit that, in effect, helping John was helping Finch, but it was the principle of it!

"What about Shaw?" Joss rolled her eyes as she thought of that woman.

"What about her?"

"You two don't seem happy with one another; did something happen between you two as well?"

"Shaw took Finch's side, John, easy as that. I don't mind, I get it actually, you and Finch saved her life, gave her something to do with it. I mean I get it why she feels aligned with you and Finch. But I'm not putting up with her either. We have way too similar personalities." Joss sighed and she felt John move. She was worried she was hurting him as she was applying ointment to a particularly deep and disturbing laceration on his back. But his movements weren't from pain; it was from a slight laugh. "What's so funny?" she asked indignantly, but also was trying to hide the fact that she felt elated she had gotten a small laugh out of him.

"You and Shaw are nothing alike."

"I beg to differ."

"Maybe that you are both strong willed, independent, and highly capable women, but after that you two are as opposite as night and day." Joss smiled softly as she continued on down his back one by one.

"So you think I'm highly capable, huh?"

"Are you fishing for a compliment, Carter?"

"Maybe, coming from you it's highly respected though," she whispered, finally getting to his last old bandage.

"You're intelligent, quick, free-spirited, you know right from wrong, but you're also willing to bend the rules if needed to save a life, you're kind and thoughtful, too nurturing for your own good sometimes, but you always try to do the right thing. You're a true friend when someone needs you; you are there for them like you were for me during my time at Rikers. You have a nice shot as well, can kneecap with the best of 'em." Joss sat staring at the back of his head her hand hovering above the bandage, having yet to pull it off his body. "Although you are way too stubborn, and you enjoy ordering me around too much."

"Hey I prefer the compliments you were dishing out. I almost went and got you some chocolate out of my secret stash in my purse! I don't share my chocolate stash with just anyone you know."

"I didn't want you to get a big head," he said and she laughed softly as she moved from behind him to sit in front of him. Joss saw something in his soft blue eyes. She didn't know what it was, she wanted to ask him, but after a moment it was gone.

"Can you lean back against the couch cushions John?" she asked quietly. He nodded his body slowly moving but he was determined to do it on his own. Joss sighed; just wait till he pitched a fit when she helped him onto the wheelchair, then to his bedroom. Joss slowly took off the old bandage on his chest.

"Will you ever speak with Finch again?" She flicked her gaze from her work on his wound. She shrugged her shoulders before looking back down at his body.

"I don't know, John. I honestly don't know; it hurts to be used all the time and then when you need some help you don't receive any."

"Finch didn't mean it."

"How would you know John? You were busy being tortured and filleted for their personal enjoyment." She finished bandaging him up. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Fine." Joss finished the rest of his wounds in silence, grateful to be done with the topic of Finch and Shaw. When she was finally done with his new bandages she had a lot of old ones and paper to throw away. She gathered it all up before moving away from him. Joss looked at the clock on the stove seeing it was closing in at nine at night. She was going to help John to his room so she could get him settled so she could get some rest. She had to go to work tomorrow and she knew she wasn't going to sleep all that well, listening to see if John was in a lot of pain. Joss grabbed a bottled water, and two pills and walked into his bedroom before reappearing in the spacious living room. John was sitting up, as was Bear beside him. John was petting the dog with a smile.

"He missed you." We all did, her mind added. Joss moved near John motioning for the dog to move. John whispered a word in a foreign language and the dog hopped off the couch and stood beside her, wagging his tail. Joss pulled the wheelchair in front of him, locking the wheels in place. "Come along, time to get you to bed; that way you're comfy when you are ready to go to sleep." She leaned down grabbing his forearm and he shook it from her grasp. "Not this again John, let me help."

"I'm fine." He reached for the armrest of the wheelchair, and she sighed, helping him with a firm grasp on his slender hips, mindful of his back. John shot her a sidelong glare.

"No, I'm helping and that's final." Joss was glad when he didn't say a word back to her. She helped him into the wheelchair, allowing him to do some of it, knowing he would need to do it himself to get to the bathroom and around when she and Taylor weren't around. But for now, she was helping, whether or not he wanted it.

"I should take the couch."

"No." This man could wear on one's patience, couldn't he? He never listened and he called her stubborn! Joss unlocked the wheels and pushed his wheelchair for him to the bedroom while he made not a sound. John had a long road to recovery and she just hoped he would take it seriously.

* * *

Author's note: see I told you it was long lol, but I think it will benefit since now the story moves a lot quicker. But anyways, next chapter Finch learns why John was tortured, poor Finchy poo! But thanks for being patient, more is to come.

Thanks for reading everyone, the nice reviews do help make me move a bit faster at posting, it sort of makes me realize you guys are enjoying the story so then I try to post quicker. So thanks, I can be sometimes a slow poke :D


	6. Chapter 5

_**Author's note: This is yet another very long chapter, lol, there are several chapters like this :D  
**_

* * *

John yawned as he slowly awakened, last night had been restless, his body ached and nightmares plagued him. He blinked his eyes open, inhaling an aroma. It was a delicious smelling aroma; not at all like the terrible concoctions they had considered meals at the hospital. Today was a new day and today was the day he was going to move around a little bit more. The more he moved the better his body would feel. At least that's what he told himself. John struggled to get in a more upright position. Bear was beside him on the bed his tail thumping as he wagged it, eyeing him. John looked up when a movement caught his eyes. Joss appeared in the doorway, with a tray in hand with what appeared to be breakfast. She smiled at him and he took note of the tiredness in her eyes. She hadn't slept well. It had to be that damn couch. He was going to insist on taking that damn couch until she gave in and allowed him to switch with her. Joss placed the tray over his legs. His stomach rumbled as he eyed the heaping plate of food. He looked up at her, wondering exactly how he was supposed to eat for an army.

"What?"

"Joss, did you cook too much? Because this looks like enough food to feed the world plus some."

"No, you need to fatten up, John. I don't like it that you are skin and bones," she huffed sneaking a piece of bacon off his plate to snack on. She pointed the half bitten bacon at him as if it was her index finger. "Dr. Stevens said three square meals a day. That's exactly what you are going to do." She took another bite of the bacon as she walked around the room fully clothed for work. Joss's things were in the closet near the master bathroom. When had she come in the room to get ready and why hadn't he heard her? It had to be the pain medication that left him dead to the world.

"What smells so good?" Taylor appeared in the doorway of the bedroom and John eyed the teenager.

"You want some?" he offered and Joss immediately shook her head.

"Taylor, I'll make you some but that plate is John's."

"Mom, I think that plate could feed John, me, and you for days." John smiled a little at her son before he gave Joss an 'I told you so' look.

"Don't care, he's eating it all; come on Taylor I'll go make you some grub." Joss breezed back out of the room and Taylor walked in to rub Bear's head.

"Don't mind my mom; she's just worried about you, Mr. Badass."

"I know," John nodded, sighing as he picked up the fork digging into the eggs. Joss was a pretty good cook if he did say so himself. He noticed she had made him a lot of bacon in hopes of packing more pounds on him. He ate quietly as Taylor sat on the bed, petting Bear and talking with him about the Knicks when Joss appeared.

"Your food is done,"

"Thanks mom." Taylor hopped off the bed rushing out of the room.

"Taylor will be home for about another hour before he has to leave for school, however, I need to get going. So house rules, no overdoing it, you have this phone near you at all times." She paused in her running commentary of the dos and don'ts of the place, waiting to throw him his new cell phone. "I'll be sending Fusco, Finch and Shaw in here from time to time to make sure you aren't overdoing it." John eyed her as she began listing things off on her hands. He silently ate the food she prepared for him while listening to her, smiling slightly.

"Carter."

"What?"

"I get it, I promise, no overdoing it."

"Uh-huh, I'm still sending in the reinforcements, John. No batting those baby blues at me, it won't work anymore than it worked on Kris. Professing your love for me won't work either!"

"I'm being sincere Joss; I can see you are worried; I won't do anything that will make my recovery longer." She eyed him, trying to sense if he was being true or not. When she seemed happy with whatever she saw, she turned, exiting the room for only a few seconds before reappearing. She had with her several full looking manila folders, walking over to him plopping them beside him on the bed. "What are they?"

"Those are everything I have from HR about every case they had a possible connection with, about Szymanski's shooting, and Cal's. I need your help proving HR was behind these. I need your help. John, I need to get justice for Cal and Szymanski."

"I'll help you Joss in any way I can." She nodded.

"Thanks, I have to get going. Your pain meds I left for you on the nightstand beside the bed, as well as a bottled water. The refrigerator is stocked full of things to eat and drink, but please wait for when Fusco, Shaw, or Finch are here. I don't want you wandering around too much. When you need to use the bathroom use the wheelchair; none of this macho man 'I can do it myself'crap. Your leg was surgically repaired; you need to follow strict doctor orders to make sure that knee heals right." She fiddled with his wheelchair shoving it closer to the bed as she spoke.

"Okay Carter, go to work."

"Eat that plate, every last crumb."

"Go Carter."

"If you need me-"

"Go!" He pointed to the door, not realizing how worried she was about him until now. She nodded and finally, with that, she turned and hurried out the bedroom. Taylor entered his room after a little bit while John really tried to eat all the food. But when he got stuffed he gave the rest to Bear. Taylor was smirking at him. "Don't tell your mother."

"I won't, my mom takes some things overboard."

"I know."

"She was sick with worry about you when you were missing, Mr. Badass. I didn't know how to help her."

"Your mom's a strong woman."

"Yeah she is, she inspires me."

"She has that ability."

"I want to become a cop like her someday, maybe join the military first like my dad and mom."

"They'd be proud of anything you do," John assured the youngster.

"You think?"

"I know so; your mother speaks highly of your achievements, Taylor." John said leaning his head back to look at the teenager.

"Are you and my mom more than friends?" The question came out of the blue and rattled him. John didn't like analyzing his feelings for Joss too closely.

"We are just friends." The kid seemed to understand, nodding his head.

"Well, if that were to ever change, Mr. Badass, I'd be okay with it because you treat my mom with respect. You might like to peeve her off but you treat her good." John was again rattled by the teenager. The kid offered his trust so freely, had he known the kind of man he was, surely the teen wouldn't want him anywhere near his mother.

"Are you to follow strict orders from your mother to come home after school to keep an eye on me?" he asked and the kid opened his mouth and allowed it to slide shut slowly with a smile.

"You know my mom so well!"

"You don't have to, I don't need a watch dog, I have one already," he pointed to Bear. "You can hang out with your friends."

"Actually I do, because she's my mom and she's scary when you disobey something she tells you to do. She doesn't ask for many favors and its no burden at all. You're cool, even if you are laid up." John softly chuckled more to himself when the kid motioned to the door. "I got to get going; do you need anything before I head out for school?"

"No, I don't need anything, thanks." Taylor walked over and took the now empty plate of food and tray.

"Mom would kill me if I allowed you to trudge all the way to the kitchen by your lonesome." John sighed, seeing the kid was as quick as his mother. Taylor appeared back in the room after a few minutes.

"I'm good Taylor,"

"Okay see you later, badass." John was sitting quietly on the bed wondering what to do with himself, when he heard labored breathing before Finch appeared in the doorway. "Taylor showed me in," he explained. John smiled. Bear hopped off the bed to greet Finch who rubbed him behind the ears. Finch moved further in the room and Bear hopped back up on the bed laying his head between them.

"Any numbers, Finch?"

"Yes, but I'm not here to speak about that, Mr. Reese." John wanted to help in any way he could but clearly Finch felt he was too incapacitated. John knew why Finch was here, dreading it because Finch would demand answers that he didn't want to give. Protecting Finch from what happened had been a priority of his during his hospital stay; but the longer he remained silent, the more likely Finch would dig, quite possibly placing himself in harm's way.

"I figured."

"I want to know what happened to you during those six months."

"I was tortured Finch, surely you know that. Do you really want the disgusting details? I thought you were a bit squeamish so I was sparing you."

"No, you are purposely withholding information Mr. Reese, and I wish to know why?" John knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself.

"They electrocuted me, when that didn't work they began whipping me daily and for hours at a time hoping it would get me to break, it didn't. My back was mangled I could feel my skin hanging off, they took great delight in tearing open my wounds spreading them apart with a knife over and over again. They had me restrained to a bolted down table, and a man made surgeon-like incisions so they could place a tracker on me, I felt every tear into my flesh. They shot me up with hallucinogens in hopes I'd talk to things that weren't there, I didn't. Okay how about this torture technique they-"

"ENOUGH JOHN!" Finch's words were loud and upset; John stopped speaking, feeling self-loathing for doing that to Finch. He had been listing some of what he went through, the less disturbing techniques they tried on him, knowing they would upset Finch quickly and would ask him to stop. John didn't wish to share with anyone what happened, they'd eye him with pity which he didn't deserve or want. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you grabbed?" He couldn't tell him that, he would feel guilty. Finch had enough guilt on him with his friend's death; he wasn't going to add to it.

"It doesn't concern you."

"But I think it does, because John, your refusal to speak to me about it alludes to that. So why? Is it because of the machine?"

"I don't know."

"John, I'm your friend and employer. Please tell me." John stared at his friend knowing the moment he did, Finch would be engulfed in guilt.

"I was taken for no other reason than to find you, Finch." Finch's body flinched, but that was the only giveaway that he had even heard him speak.

"What do you mean find 'me'?" he finally asked after several moments.

"The man remained in the shadows, but his only goal was to find you. He offered to let me go if I told him where you were located. But we both know if I would had told them what they wanted, they would have killed me." He didn't say it out-loud but there had moments when he would have welcomed death. As John spoke he saw the look of guilt became more evident on Finch's face. "I refused." He looked away shrugging his shoulders. No one was going to harm Finch while he was alive, period.

"It's my fault…" John's eyes were on Finch immediately.

"No, it wasn't Finch."

"They nearly killed you for knowing about my whereabouts, they tortured you John, why didn't you just give them my location? John your life isn't worth any less than mine!" his words were garbled, unshed tears filled Finch's blue eyes, and John was angry with himself. He shouldn't have said anything; now Finch was swimming in guilt.

"Finch, listen to me-" John could see he wasn't, the man was muttering on and on about it being his fault and never forgiving himself. "FINCH!" he shouted commandeering the elder man's attention. Bear's ears fell down, sensing the tension in the room. John eyed his friend that had saved his life by giving him a reason to live, willing Finch to hear him. "I would die before I'd tell anyone where you were, is that understood? It wasn't your fault Finch, so don't blame yourself." John spoke slowly, clearly, and quietly. Finch was a good man, and more importantly his friend; he wasn't going to let anything happen to him, regardless if it meant sacrificing himself for Harold.

"John, it is my fault-you suffered because of me." John watched as Finch turned and fled as fast as he could out of the bedroom.

"Finch, come back here. FINCH!" he called out struggling to move, cursing his battered body. John flung the covers off his legs, his body was so slow to move and every movement made his back, his arms and legs burn and scream in their agony. John felt weak and sweaty from exertion as he finally got to his feet ignoring the wheelchair, the crutches and the knee brace. His only thought was to stop Finch so he slowly used the bed to lean against as he hopped on his one good leg. John looked at Bear wishing he could sic the dog on Finch to stop him. John leaned heavily against the doorframe, finally having made his way to it, leaving him weak, winded, in a lot of pain, and saw the apartment completely empty. Finch was gone.

* * *

Finch's breath rushed from him as he hurried as fast as he could away from the apartment where Jocelyn, John, and her son were staying. Lucky for him, Mr. Reese was in too rough shape to get up and follow him. He didn't want his friend, the man that had been tortured to an inch of his life, to see him cry. It had been because of him. Tears stung the backs of his eyes, feeling like he had been the one to torture John. In some respects he had been. John wouldn't ever give up his location, so John suffered and suffered until he almost couldn't anymore. Now he knew why John hadn't wanted to tell him, he had wanted to spare him pain.

But it was a pain he shouldn't be spared. It was a pain, an awful feeling he should feel for the rest of his life, for that his past had been permanently marked on Mr. Reese forever. Whoever was looking for him had to be because of the machine, no one from his previous life was that ruthless or cunning, was there? Not that he could think of.

"Why didn't you give me his number?" he demanded as he looked up to one of the many security cameras posted around New York. He eyed it angrily as a tear leaked out. "He could have died because of me, you could have given me his number in time, but you didn't!" several people on the streets eyed him like he was crazy as he appeared to spoke to a pole. He knew the machine could hear him, but before someone called the police saying a crazed man was talking to poles, he left. He limped to his car, feeling a tightness in his chest as he sat leaning his head against the headrest. His phone rang, hoping and praying it wasn't Mr. Reese, but it Shaw. He answered her with a swift touch of a button his earpiece. "What is it Shaw?"

"What's wrong Finch?"

"Nothing, you called for a reason what's the matter, Ms. Shaw?" he asked trying to lighten his tone.

"Victor Bailey looks squeaky clean, Finch, nothing's really happening. So far he's went to an ATM, grocery shopped, and then went on a scenic journey to what appears to be his in-laws' place. They've been sitting together talking since he got there at eight A.M."

"Appearances can deceive, Ms. Shaw, as you well know."

"Yeah well, I'm thinking about ditching tailing him and going to get eyes on his wife. Maybe the girl has a more exciting life than him."

"She might, she teaches dance at a local studio in downtown New York."

"Get me the address," Finch reached into the passenger seat to his laptop. She changed the subject. "So what's got you upset, Finch?"

"Nothing Ms. Shaw."

"Look you want me to trust you and John, well the same goes for you. Sometimes when you want trust you have to give it, so what's up?" Finch kept his mouth shut for a while, getting the address for Shaw, before he decided to tell her.

"Mr. Reese informed me why he'd been taken."

"Why?"

"He was taken because of me, Ms. Shaw. It's my fault Mr. Reese is in the shape he is."

"He'll heal," Shaw matter-of-factly responded.

"He almost died, Ms. Shaw, for no other reason than knowing where I was located at. You could be in danger as well; in fact, the detectives could very well be in danger too."

"Doesn't scare me, and I damn well know it doesn't scare Reese. The detectives are in danger all the time; it's their profession, Finch."

"I'll text you Mrs. Bailey's work address, Ms. Shaw." he hung up on her, not wanting to hear her agree with Mr. Reese. He texted her the address, ignored the now many phone calls from John's new cell phone and drove away from the complex, his mind very much on John.

* * *

Shaw sighed as several men eyed her as she made her way in the parking lot towards the dance studio 'Let's Make You Sweat' where Ada Bailey was an instructor at. She was wearing tight black spandex with a short t-shirt, her earpiece very much in.

"Okay, remember Ms. Shaw, you are Samantha Reed the proud owner of Animal Haven, a rescue kennel that saves dogs and cats alike from being euthanized. Ada and Victor Bailey are very much animal lovers so you should be able to strike a conversation up with her." Shaw had reported to Finch earlier this afternoon that she wasn't getting anything on either one, and that they needed to get closer. She however hadn't meant to get closer by befriending the wife. Finch had assured her he would help her through trying to befriend this woman. This just wasn't Shaw's strongpoint.

"Yeah, yeah I remember." She entered the dance studio, finding the room where Ada's class was already in full swing. She threw her duffle bag on the ground in the back as she danced in front of the entire class, her back to the class, but eyeing everyone through the floor to ceiling mirror on the back wall.

"Welcome newcomer," Ms Bailey called out, not breaking a breath as she counted steps. The inspiring dancers followed Ada. Sam pasted a smile on her face, joining right in with the rest of the class. She hadn't been happy about it but when she had been little her mother had forced her into dance. She had done it until she was 15. "You're good!" Ada smiled.

"Thanks!" she called out not breaking a sweat, quickly following the steps. After about half an hour it seemed like the class was over. Sam watched as several women were heading towards the back room where a locker room happened to be, to shower and change. Sam made her move. She walked up to Ada Bailey who was taking a chug out of her bottled water.

"Hi, I'm Samantha Reed."

"Oh yes, I talked with you on the phone earlier. I'm so glad you decided to join 'Let's Make You Sweat.'"

"Yeah well, my husband enjoys his hobby and I always loved dancing."

"Oh yeah, what's your husband's hobby?"

"Flying these model airplanes thingies," Sam laughed, knowing Ada's husband enjoyed doing the same thing.

"He does? My husband LOVES it, I don't understand it, but whenever he gets a chance to fly one of those things this utter look of euphoria comes on his face." The young woman who had long blonde hair that reached the middle of her back; even in a ponytail it seemed nice. Shaw would bet her life on it that this woman wasn't a threat to her husband, but very well could be in danger if her husband was the perp.

"Neither do I Mrs. Bailey. But thanks for allowing me to come late, I had some stuff to do for my job."

"Please it's Ada, Mrs. Reed."

"Sam."

"What is it you do, Sam?"

"Oh my husband and I own and run Animal Haven, it's a rescue kennel where we find loving homes for all types of animals before they are euthanized."

"That's incredible work you and your husband do, Sam. My husband and I are animal lovers ourselves."

"Well thanks Ada! You know, my husband and I never can find another couple to dine with that share our similar outlooks. I think we would have a wonderful time together; the four of us, your husband and mine could discuss their model airplane love while you and I could discuss animals and dance. This might sound out of the blue and you can say no if you want, but would you and your husband like to join us for dinner sometime?" Sam asked with a bright cheery smile on her face. Boy, was she proud of her acting skills!

"Sounds lovely! Vic and I have friends but we never find any other couples that have so many things in common with us. I'll have to talk to Victor, but I'd love too. I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow in class, on time."

"Yeah, sorry about that I had to go pick up a puppy." Ada's dark eyes grew big as saucers. They agreed to speak with their respective husbands, and Shaw gave Ada her phone number to call her if they wanted to meet up sometime. Shaw hit the locker room and changed.

"How did things go, Ms. Shaw?" Finch's voice filled her ear after she changed. Shaw felt different in blue jeans and a t-shirt. She had her gun and workout clothes in the duffle bag. She hurried out of the small dance building hurrying to her car.

"I hit it off with the wife; she's going to talk to Victor to see if he would like to have dinner with me and my husband sometime. I expect a phone call saying yes since I played up the animal love. But I do have one issue though Finch."

"What is it Ms. Shaw?"

"I need a husband, Reese is out, which leaves you." Shaw smiled to herself as she entered her car. She heard a slight pause from Finch before he answered her.

"Alright, detective."

"Oh FYI, you are into flying modeling airplanes, honey." she said before pulling out of the parking space and driving away from the dance studio. "I'm heading back to tail Mr. Bailey while I wait for Ada's phone call to set up the double date."

"How can you be so sure she'll call tonight?"

"Trust me, I know."

* * *

Joss had thought up many situations she would arrive home to. All of them were of having to scold John for not listening to her; but she hadn't expected to go home to find the scene she had. Joss had thrown the door open, readying herself for whatever she'd find John doing that she told him not to, but stopped in her tracks. John was half laying-half sitting on the couch she had slept on, while her son was on the sofa chair near John as he taught John how to play a video game. The television screen had zombies being shot by John's character; the game was on loud with eerie music playing. Joss hated this game, give her old fashioned Tetris she'd be thrilled, but Taylor loved playing Resident Evil 6.

"You're getting good at it Mr. Badass, even with casts on your wrists." all the breath seeped out of her, her mouth shut realizing she didn't have to yell at the man.

"What are you two boys doing?" she asked as she closed the door before yanking her jacket off.

"I'm teaching John how to play Resident Evil mom, he's kicking zombie ass!" she smiled at her son's enthusiastic reply as she moved towards them. She saw the manila folders spread out on the coffee table in front of him, Bear lying on the floor between the coffee table and the couch where John was. John was wearing just his dark gray boxer-briefs and a plain light gray t-shirt. His knee brace in place, wheelchair by the couch as well as the pain medication and a bottled water on the end table. John looked pale and tired but alert.

"What do you guys want for dinner?" she asked as John seemed enthralled with the game. Her son looked up at her and waved her off.

"Nothing, John made us this beef stir fry mom; it's delicious, he made extra for you to heat up." Joss narrowed her eyes on the man. Oh he did, did he?

"John made dinner, which requires standing near the stove." She began tapping her foot on her hardwood floor.

"Yes I can stand Joss," he assured her his eyes never leaving the game.

"Yes you can, BUT not for extended amount of time because of your leg and the fact that you are still very weak, John. You're not to be on your feet without your knee brace on and the use of crutches which you have a hard time using since you have two, count them, TWO broken wrists. You're wheelchair bound for the time being, you need to heal and,… are you even listening to me?" she snapped and that brought his gaze up at her.

"Sure, I have two broken wrists, wear the knee brace, and shouldn't stand for too long, got it." his eyes drifted back to the television screen.

"Mom relax, John sat a lot. I took the high-rise barstool into the kitchen so he could sit near the stove. He asked me to get him the ingredients for him. He sat the entire time, the only time he got up was to move from the barstool to his wheelchair, and then again later from the wheelchair to the couch. That's it." Taylor was pleading John's case while the man himself seemed to be unperturbed by her anger.

"John should be resting, not cooking us dinner."

"Mom, he's been stuck home all day doing nothing, give Mr. Badass a break. He's used to kicking ass, not sitting ON his ass."

"Thanks Taylor." What the hell was this, men sticking with men?! Joss shot a glare from John, and gave her son a look. Taylor held up his hands.

"Sorry ma,"

"Joss you should go warm up your food, you must be starving."

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you, get rid of me, make me realize how good your cooking is, and think my anger at you will go away? Not happening, John. Don't you want to get better? You have to do as the doctor says."

"I'll go do my homework." Taylor stood up and she waved a hand at him motioning to sit down.

"No need to flee Taylor, I'm done lecturing." She sighed, it wouldn't do her any good since the man let it go in one ear and out the other. Joss walked into the kitchen giving John the stink eye while heating up the food he made. She couldn't help but inhale the air as the food heated up in appreciation. It smelled delicious. Joss pulled it out of the microwave carrying the plate along with a fork, and a glass of red wine into the living room. Joss took a seat on the other sofa chair, watching the boys play their game. She took the first bite, nearly moaning in delight. The beef was cooked to perfection, the spices, noodles, rice, and sautéed onions were all mixed perfectly to give the stir fry a spicy taste that left her mouthwatering for more.

"How is it mom?" she looked up, seeing her son eyeing her with a look, knowing how good it was.

"It's delicious, John; if you ever want to quit kneecapping people you could be hired as a chef," she admitted, unable to lie. Her eyes shifted to him where she saw a small smile on his lips as he held out the XBOX 360 controller to Taylor. Taylor turned the game off, turning the cable on and onto the local news for her. "You know, maybe I was a bit harsh on you about not cooking for us, John. As long as you stay off your feet as much as possible, you can cook." She would leave the barstool in the kitchen for him from now on. Joss wanted to moan in happiness for her taste buds. Good lord was there anything this man wasn't good at?

"How was work mom?"

"Fielded a lot of calls, did some paperwork, you know, the boring side of my job," she sighed. It really had been boring; Fusco and her had just wrapped up one of their homicide cases. Boyfriend confessed to killing his girlfriend during a blind fit of rage when she went to break up with him. Joss smiled a little too herself. She and Fusco worked well together, they cracked the boyfriend easily with their bad cop, worse cop routine.

"How was school?"

"I think I aced my history test." John just leaned his head back, listening to them talk. Taylor informed her about being invited to some early Christmas party next weekend; she wasn't sure if she wanted him to go but he seemed to really want too, so she caved. Joss turned her eyes onto John, holding her empty plate feeling full.

"How was your day John?" she asked, trying to sound innocent. Taylor snickered as he leaned back sipping his Gatorade.

"Oh you mean between checks from Shaw and Fusco, fine."

"Yeah I tried to sic Finch on you but I couldn't get a hold of him," she stated and noticed the stormy look on John's face. Uh-oh something happened. "What happened?"

"Nothing,"

"No, what happened John?" he looked like he wasn't going to tell her but thought better of it.

"Finch came over at the same time Taylor was leaving for school. We talked and he left." She had a feeling the talk didn't go so well.

"What did you two talk about?"

"Why I was taken." Her eyes shifted to Taylor who stood up.

"That's my cue to go do my homework." She was glad he was leaving, she didn't know what John was going to say and she wanted to protect Taylor from the ugliness of the world as much as possible. He'd already seen too much for his age as it was. Joss watched as Taylor made a beeline for his bedroom, when the door shut behind him was when she asked John for more.

"What did you tell him?"

"The truth."

"How did he take it?"

"As well as can be expected. Finch blames himself even though I tried to assure him it wasn't his fault."

"Yeah, well you two have that whole guilt trip thing down to an art. Give him time John, he'll realize it's not his fault."

"In the meantime guilt will eat away at him Joss, I tried to follow but couldn't get to-" John trailed off. He couldn't get to-what? She thought about what he said and narrowed her eyes on him.

"You couldn't get to what, John? Let me guess, Finch left while you were trying to explain to him it wasn't his fault, and you, what, GOT UP?"

"Joss, listen-"

"Did you use your wheelchair?"

"No, but-" she continued on over him. "So you used the crutches instead?"

"No again Joss, but-"

"JOHN! I gave you specific instructions on the dos and don'ts and the dos were use your wheelchair, use your knee brace, and the don'ts were DON'T wander too much alone!" she snapped, angry again, standing up. She walked into the kitchen slinging her plate and silverware into the sink. She sipped more of her wine before placing it on the countertop. John was watching her quietly from his seat on the couch. "John I know you are used to pushing your body to its limit. But your body is hurt, you need to heal and you need to heal right. That's why everyone put you with me."

"Everyone?"

"Yes, John no one wanted to take care of you because you don't listen to anyone, except they thought that you'd listen to me. Clearly they were wrong."

"Joss, I'm sorry I did it without thinking. My mind was on Finch and getting him to listen to me, not on my injuries."

"Exactly my point, John. You don't think about your injuries which concerns me. You're not invincible John, you almost died." Joss couldn't believe it but she was getting emotional. She felt embarrassed as her voice cracked. Surely John was appalled at her behavior. However he didn't make a comment, he didn't do much of anything except for quietly gaze at her.

"I'm sorry Joss." She sniffed, accepting his apology with a nod. "I didn't realize what my disappearance did to you."

"Well you should have. Did you really think I'd be okay with the fact that you, a friend of mine that I care for very much, disappeared and was in need of help?"

"I know, I'm sorry, Joss. I'm sorry that not only did my captors torture me but also everyone that I left behind. I tried to escape many times, you have to know that." She knew that. She wanted to know everything; she wanted to know what he went through. But she wasn't ready to hear it, wasn't sure she would ever be. Instead, she decided they both needed a change of topic so she moved towards where her son had been sitting, taking a perch there, before motioning to the manila folders.

"So?"

"I looked through some of it Joss, off and on during the times when I wasn't asleep." she smiled at his tone. He wasn't happy he had been taking naps. "Szymanski's death was definitely a setup; I think we should really consider looking into this Alfonso Quinn."

"You think he's a part of HR?"

"I'm not sure yet, the report says Terney was the first cop on the scene at Szymanski's shooting."

"Yeah, so?"

"Terney's a dirty cop, first to arrive at a shooting of a cop and the A.D.A. who was about to put away Peter Yogorov isn't a coincidence. Dirty cops aren't ones to care if they are first to the scene or not. HR wanted Yogorov to walk, probably building relations with the Russians. It just doesn't make sense how both the A.D.A and Szymanski were both killed, while Quinn only suffered a bullet to the shoulder. Quinn was a witness, he would have been taken out, unless he's dirty too." Joss nodded her head. It made sense when you add it all up, but everything was hinging on the fact that she knew Terney was dirty, not on actual evidence.

"John it's all circumstantial and it's all based on the fact that I know Terney is dirty. I don't have any solid evidence against them, do I?"

"We'll get some, but if we know Quinn is a player in HR it means we are a step closer at solving Szymanski and Beecher's deaths. We might not have all the pieces together yet or proof, but it's a start."

"Thank you John," she felt real hope for the first time that her friends were going to get the justice they deserved. John stared at her.

"You're welcome Joss, I told you I'd help you in any way I could. I didn't expect to be sidelined though."

"Fusco and I can do the legwork; you can help me from the sidelines. Consider yourself our 'Finch'."

"Joss you need to keep your head down. HR is already watching you and if they get wind you are trying to prove they killed Szymanski and Beecher they won't hesitate to come after you. Terney already threatened you." John's voice was dark with anger, his light blue eyes icy. He was so protective of her.

"I know, I'll take precautions. I can take of myself John, you know that." He nodded. They shared a look before they both looked away. "I'm going to go take a shower and change John, then we can change your bandages."

"Go ahead, take your time Joss, it's not like I can go anywhere." She nodded, smiling a bit before standing up, moving to the hall bathroom. Joss's mind was very much on taking down HR.

* * *

Author's note: this show is a sickness, I think way too much about it lol, which leads me to believe I need to get a life :D Poor Finchy-poo blaming himself, and the fact that Taylor and John were playing a video game together just was too cute to not write.

Thanks for waiting everyone I know everyone is impatiently waiting to know what's going on, and the villains of the story make their ugly recurrence in the next chapter :D


	7. Chapter 6

Finch felt Shaw slide her hand into the crux of his elbow as the valet took their car while they walked up the short walkway into Americo's which was an American-Italian restaurant. It was high end, Shaw was wearing a little black dress, he was in his usual suit though he chose a dark navy blue one to fit the occasion. Shaw had been correct in her assessment that Mrs. Bailey would call her last night. She received a call at eight o'clock in the evening setting up dinner plans.

Finch was glad to be able to concentrate on saving this new number or placing him behind bars because it took his mind off something far more troubling: Mr. Reese and the part he played in his torture. He wasn't ever going to forgive himself for being the reason Mr. Reese was grabbed. Mr. Reese had tried all day yesterday to contact him; he allowed every phone call to go to voicemail without a response. He was grateful for the fact that John couldn't seek him out, being laid up. Shaw had seen John and reported to Finch that John wanted to see him, which he steadfastly refused. John didn't need to see him to be reminded of why he had been taken and sorely abused for months.

Detective Carter had called him several times to go check on Mr. Reese yesterday and today. He knew he had promised to help, knew it was another reason for the detective to not trust him, to draw back from him. But he couldn't help it. He didn't answer any of her calls either. Shaw and Finch entered the restaurant and was greeted by a young hostess. She appeared to be a small Latino woman with darker skin and dark eyes.

"We have a reservation for a party of four under Reed, Harold Reed." The woman nodded, looking through her book before motioning to them to follow her. They followed her into the back where their newest number sat with his wife.

"May I take your coats?" Finch nodded, handing them to the hostess before taking their seats across from the Baileys.

"Victor, this is Samantha Reed; she joined my class and she's just a lovely dancer."

"Nice to meet you," Finch watched as the man jollily grabbed Shaw's hand in a friendly grasp.

"Likewise, this is my husband Harold." Shaw rubbed his arm before he reached over to shake hands first with Mrs. Bailey and then Victor.

"So I hear you enjoy flying model airplanes?"

"I do, I find it as a relaxing hobby."

"Don't I know it; I'm a nurse in a local clinic and I need something fun and relaxing after work. What is it you do Mr. Reed?"

"Harold please; I used to be a financial analyst before I retired early to help my wife in our endeavor of saving animals. We run Animal Haven as we both are animal lovers, in fact we have a dog we rescued named Chumley. So I do understand stressful jobs, Mr. Bailey."

"Victor please, Harold, so a financial analyst sounds like boring and highly stressful work. Good thing you got out of it and into something far more fulfilling."

"Yes, saving lives is much more fulfilling, Victor." Their waitress arrived to take their drink orders; Harold ordered a fine year of wine for them all which she nodded, saying she'd be back for their food order whenever they were ready.

The rest of the night went on marvelously; Finch certainly didn't see Mr. Bailey as a killer. Ms. Shaw had been quite the character tonight, however, she had been boisterous and talkative which is unusual to say the least. Finch's arm hurt a little from all the slaps she did to it. Shaw, Mrs. Bailey and Mr. Bailey all left the table to go to the valet to get their cars while Finch paid the bill. Finch looked around to make sure no one would see, he used his handkerchief to pick up Mr. Bailey's fork he had used for eating. He would get this to Detective Fusco to run his prints. He pocketed the fork before leaving a generous tip, feeling like a thief for stealing a fork. Finch paid for the meal before hobbling out to meet them out in the cool brisk New York night.

"We had a lovely time," Ada responded as she hugged Shaw before leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his cheek. He pulled back smiling at her, she was such a wonderful woman, surely he hoped to stop whatever evil was about to befall to this wonderful couple. Harold looked to Victor, they shook hands and Victor leaned down to press a kiss to Shaw's cheek. When the valets arrived with their cars they bid each other farewell before climbing into their respectful cars.

"Well, I'd say that night went lovely," Shaw sighed with a twinge of sarcasm, driving away from the restaurant. "My face hurts from all the fake smiling I had to do."

"I agree, Ms. Shaw; Mr. Bailey does not seem like the perpetrator."

"No he's too naïve for that. Did you get anything with his prints on it?"

"Yes I did." Finch stated before quickly calling for Detective Fusco.

"What is it, four eyes?"

"Detective, I need you to run a set of prints for me, I'll be arriving near the station in about ten minutes, please be out to meet with us."

"Is this for the person that you made a mention of the other night?"

"Yes,"

"Okay look, the crabby commando keeps calling me asking for me to talk to you Einstein. He wants me to pass on a message to you, about wanting you to come by to speak with him. I don't recall you two having a lover's quarrel before, so what gives?"

"Detective, please just meet with me outside the police station, we're almost there."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there." Finch hung up with the detective, not wishing to speak about what happened with John. As they pulled up, Finch saw not only Detective Fusco, but also Detective Carter standing outside. Detective Carter's posture was not as inviting as Detective Fusco's. He and Shaw exited the car. Fusco held out a large evidence bag and pulled out the fork with his handkerchief before plopping it in the bag.

"I need those prints as soon as possible, detectives," Finch stated, keeping his eyes on Fusco instead of Carter.

"Yeah well, Finch, I have a bone to pick with you." Finch shifted his eyes from one to the other. "You need to put aside whatever the hell is your problem and do what you promised. Help us be there for John!"

"Detective, I'm sure you have enough people to look after Mr. Reese without my assistance."

"Put aside your damn guilt; John needs to see you and speak with you."

"Mr. Reese doesn't need to be reminded of what happened to him because of me."

"John is reminded of his torture every time he looks in the mirror or any time he tries to move, Finch. He's dealing with what happened to him but he would do better if his friend came to see him!"

"I was the cause of what happened, it is my fault he's in the shape he's in right now. Mr. Reese needs time to heal, time to get over his emotional wounds as well as his physical. He doesn't need to see the person that had been the reason why he had been grabbed," his voice threatened to wobble at the end.

"Finch, the only people to blame for the way John is right now is the people that tortured him to find you. No one else's, not yours, not John's, not anyone. Stop blaming yourself, stop allowing guilt for absolutely nothing stop you from being there for John now. You couldn't stop what happened to him, but you could help him recover. You could help him get on his feet faster and back with you doing the good fight or whatever the hell you want call this job you do."

"Listen Carter, Finch will go see John when he's good and ready. John might be with you where you two play house together but that doesn't mean you know the entire situation. How about you put aside your anger at Finch, let him take the time he needs to go see John instead of dictating to him?! This might come to you as a shock, detective, but you don't know everything about John and what he's feeling." Shaw spoke up and Carter pinned her with a downright icy glare.

"Ms. Shaw, just because Finch and John saved your life doesn't mean you are entitled to anything especially, from me. John saves people, plain and simple; you are one on a very long list, including myself, who he has saved. You think you know him because you were a soldier just like him, so was I. The difference between you and I, Ms. Shaw is that _I DO_ know John. I spent a lot of time with him, befriending him, working side by side with him, so I do know how he thinks and how he acts. _So I do know_ he needs to see Finch!"

"Will you two please stop fighting over the crabby commando like he's a child that is in need of custody?!" Fusco snapped earning looks from Shaw, Carter, and Finch. Detective Fusco rarely ever seemed to care what they said, just listening throwing in a sly comment here or there, a joke at their expense but otherwise remaining silent. "Look, John has been there for all of us in some way, shape or form. He saved Carter from biting a bullet from her C.I., he saved Shaw here from dying from an injection, he saved four eyes from certain death, and he saved my ass too. So the bane of our existence has been there for all of us, and we've been there for him when he needed backup. We can all agree on that, correct?" he paused in his winded rant for them to nod their heads. "Good, so let's all put aside our pettiness, work together, and in no time, John will be back on his feet okay?" Finch nodded first before he watched Jocelyn and Shaw eyeing one another before nodding.

"Detective, you don't like or trust me, which is fine, but your partner is right, we need to stop fighting all the time. You need to put aside your anger at Finch here because we are fighting the same fight and until John's back in action, we have to work together to save more lives." Detective Carter nodded her head begrudgingly.

"I'll help you," Jocelyn Carter pinned him with a look. "I'm not doing it for either one of you, I'm doing it for John." she said before she turned and began walking towards the police station with Fusco by her side.

* * *

Fusco eyed his partner as they entered the police station. She was angry, upset, and had a whole host of other emotions. He grabbed her elbow, yanking her to a corner of the police station so they could talk privately.

"You need to get a hold of yourself, Carter."

"Fusco, you need to stop preaching to me right now." She yanked her elbow free of his grip. Carter was pissed, understandably so, but she needed to reign in her out of control feelings for Mr. Happy before everyone caught wind of them.

"No, you need to listen up Carter, we get it, you care for John, but you need to take a step back. He won't appreciate you yelling at the little guy."

"Finch is purposely avoiding John and John needs to see Finch. John has a lot of emotional scars that could eat him up; he doesn't need his friend to stop showing up because of what he thinks is his fault. It will only make John's own emotional wounds worse. I didn't find him and save his life just for the emotional toll to kill him. It's a wonder that John hasn't gone to a therapist with everything he's went through prior to being taken and tortured for months!"

"Any mere mortal would be locked up in straight jacket babbling incoherently, I agree; but Carter, the crabby commando might just want to keep it to himself because its how he deals with it. And maybe Einstein's way of dealing with what happened to John is to stay away," Fusco said and Carter's dark eyes got even darker in anger. "I know you are all about wonder boy right now, but glasses needs some time too."

"I'm not all about John. I get why Finch feels guilty, but he has to put aside his guilt and do what's best for John, not himself. John spent six months of his life in hell; he needs his friends now to help him heal and get better. He doesn't need the man he owes his life to, hiding from him, it will just upset John." Was she for real, Fusco thought? He eyed Carter for a moment, wondering if she had any idea of how transparent she was about her feelings for the former bane of his existence; clearly not from her look. So he decided to change the subject, not about to jump into that snake pit.

"I'll go run these prints on this fork for our guy."

"Yeah you do that, I'm going to call Taylor to tell John I have to work late." Fusco nodded his head as she walked away, before shaking it as he made his way away from her to go run the prints. He had a feeling that the worst was yet to come.

* * *

"Anything?" he demanded as his man entered his office. Ryder was six feet of all muscle, he had a first degree black belt in Judo and Tae-Kwon Do, he was a sharpshooter, and former sniper from the military. Surely if anyone could find Harold, or Mr. John Reese it would be him.

"Not yet, I talked to some of my contacts and they said Reese is known around New York as the 'man in the suit' but he hasn't appeared. He must be with some friends in hiding. I'm collecting more information on Reese; once I find out who has had contact with the man in the suit prior, I will get them to talk, no matter what, boss. He must have more friends out there besides the man you're seeking to find since he's evaded capture for so long."

"Good, I tried to place another bounty upon his head, but there was a slight issue which means Harold has taken precautions." He tapped his fingers together, looking at his man thoughtfully. "Find out more about Mr. Reese's 'man in the suit,' find out his friends and what draws him out. If we can find what draws him out, maybe we can draw Mr. Reese out, ultimately drawing Harold out as well."

"Yes sir."

"You're dismissed." Ryder nodded before exiting his office. He stood up from his desk, moving to the bookshelves, pausing briefly as he skimmed his hand over the bindings until he found the one he wanted. He slowly pulled it out, flipped through the pages, and pulled out a very old photo. One of himself, his daughter and his then wife; he was going to find Harold and when he did he was going to make him pay for what happened all those years ago.

* * *

"You okay Finch?" Shaw asked as they entered the library together. Harold hadn't made a peep since they left the detectives at the police station. Shaw wasn't one for too much talking so the silence was nice, but now he had become too silent. No whimsical words, not a peep about what they needed to do for their new number, nothing. It was as if he was lost in thought so deeply, he forgot all about her. "Finch?"

"Do you think the detective is correct?"

"About what?"

"About me being selfish?"

"Finch, you're anything but selfish; Detective Carter didn't even say that."

"She implied it, she implied it when she told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and be there for John. Maybe she's right."

"Then go talk to John," she stated bluntly, knowing he wasn't ready to do that. Harold looked up at her shaking his head. "Then don't; but don't think that you are being selfish because it's not the case."

"Ms. Shaw, you offer no real resolution."

"Was I supposed too? Would you even listen to what I have to say?"

"I value your opinion just as I value John's, and the detectives."

"You won't want to hear it."

"I never said I always liked hearing their opinions either, Ms. Shaw."

"Fine, I think you should go talk with John; not because you are being selfish or not, but because you need to. Listen Harold, John was taken, beaten, and tortured in hopes of finding you, which means they will try again. No one who tortures a man to within an inch of his life will give up just because he managed to slip away. Whoever did this will be back and we all need to be prepared. John was just a means to an end; you are the real target, so you need to deal with the fact that he was tortured for information on you. Because the sooner you do, the sooner we can make sure we prevent them from harming either you or John again. We'll catch them, but we need everyone on the same page to do so."

Shaw watched him absorb what she said to him quietly. He hadn't said a word during the entire time she spoke, he just eyed her, listening to her speak. Shaw threw her hands back into her pockets as per habit, waiting for a response. When she got none, she shrugged. "I told you, you wouldn't like it."

"Ms. Shaw, I'll think about what you said and I thank you for your honesty."

"I offer nothing less, because it's what you and John offered me," Shaw responded before they were interrupted by a phone call from Fusco. Harold put him on speaker phone.

"Yes detective, anything?"

"Yeah, Victor Bailey is living a lie."

"Let me guess, Victor Bailey isn't his real name and he's not a male nurse," Shaw said dryly.

"Nope, not even close. His real name is Oliver Cavaugh. He disappeared five years ago from Trenton Vermont where he was a petty criminal. He served chump change for breaking and entering and theft. But that all flew out the window a day before your guy disappeared from Trenton and must of became this Victor Bailey guy."

"What happened, detective?"

"He killed a woman during a home invasion gone wrong."

"He killed someone?"

"Yes, husband was snoring logs upstairs; wife was downstairs working when he broke in. He bashed her head in, ran off with her necklace and wedding ring. The husband heard the break in, heard his wife screaming ran down the stairs witnessing your guy murdering his wife. Husband is rich; there is a five million dollar reward for anyone that can bring in Oliver Cavaugh dead or alive."

"Thanks, detective." Shaw said when Finch stood stunned. Fusco hung up on them and Shaw eyed Finch. "Well I guess that clears up if Victor Bailey is a perp or vic, he's a little of both."

* * *

Joss yawned as she and Fusco exited her car. She was supposed to be off of work an hour ago, but with helping Finch with their latest person she had been on hand when a homicide came in. Fusco and her were assigned the case. She texted Taylor she was going to be even later then she thought, he texted back that he and Mr. Badass were fine.

"You okay Carter?"

"Couch looks comfortable but not the best bed in the world." she answered with a small smile. Fusco shared in it with her as they came up to a run down apartment complex on the south side of town. Blight riddled this section of New York, hobos lined the streets, as much as street poles did. Several squad cars were parked in front of the complex, red and blue lights swirling around and around. Officer Hernandez was awaiting them.

"Hey rookie," Joss shot him a grin. "Your partner leave you to deal with us?"

"Naw, Ernie is waiting for you upstairs in the vic's apartment. He says its open and shut, suspect is already in custody."

"We'll be the judge, how about you go get us some coffee, rookie." Fusco winked before they breezed past the rookie heading into the apartment complex. They walked down the hall, up one flight of stairs, seeing the commotion at the end of the hall. Fusco lifted the crime scene tape for her and she entered first.

"What do we got E.J.?" Ernest Jessip was talking with one of the CSU guys. He looked up before smirking at her.

"Joss, its my lucky night, or it will be if you agree to taking me home with you."

"Can it loverboy," Joss teased.

"It's always a pleasure working scenes with a beautiful lady like you. Usually I'm stuck with stiffs like your partner here." Joss eyed the young flirt with a smile.

"So our time together means nothing to you, you sound like my ex-wife now Ern." Fusco and E.J. shared a smile as both her and Fusco pulled on their gloves.

"Flattery doesn't work, E.J. you aren't getting out of here any earlier than me."

"Does dinner?" he winked and she gave him a sidelong look. "Okay I get it, but I'll keep trying."

"You do that, please tell me the rookie was correct, is it true we have the suspect already. Is this an early Christmas present for Fusco and I?" Crime sky-rocketed during the holidays, which was steadily happening now. It was midway through December and thefts were up, now murder was on the rise.

"Seems like it. Two vics in total, one Caucasian male age early to mid thirties name Boyd Daniels, shot twice once in the head and once in the groin. I guess the chick that blew the unlucky batard away took the expression 'knock one's dick in the dirt' to the extreme since its barely hanging by a thread." Fusco winced shifting a bit. "Other vic was a woman African American age early to mid thirties name Maya Armstrong, shot once in the head. Suspect is Daniels' long time girlfriend April McGee, it seems they had been having a fight these three for about an hour or so. Loud commotion, then shots fired, screams, finally someone called us in. When we arrived on the scene, McGee was covered in the vics blood mumbling looking frightened. We arrested her on the spot, she was holding the gun."

Joss walked around the scene while Ernie spoke, taking note the broken window. In this part of town probably was broken sometime prior to the murder. Joss, didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Fusco waved her over to the door, she walked around the dead bodies to where he stood. He pointed and she saw the markings.

"Did you have to break the door to get in?" she asked turning to eye Ernie.

"No, door was already open."

"This door is broken, been kicked in." she motioned for one of the CSU guys. "Take several photos of this door, thanks." she said before taking a good swift look around.

"What you think someone broke in?"

"I don't know, neighbors say anything?"

"We didn't speak to any yet, we figured it was open and shut." Joss nodded before tugging the gloves off. Fusco followed suit and they both exited the apartment. She pointed for him to do the surrounding apartments while she went on the other end to the apartment that was behind the stairs leading to the next level. Joss highly doubted the person saw or heard anything but she had to try. She knocked on the door.

"NYPD, I need to ask you a few questions, open up." Joss called out giving the door another swift round of knocking before the door opened. Joss was shocked when she saw an elderly woman probably in her mid to late eighties standing there. Her hair was pearly white, her face wrinkled, her silver blue eyes intelligent and sleepy. She was wearing a soft blue robe, and she appeared to be no taller than five feet, weighing maybe a hundred pounds.

"Yes may I help you?" her voice was sweet, kind, and quiet.

"Yes, I'm Detective Carter, and I'm investigating a crime and I was just hoping to ask you a few questions." the little lady moved back to allow her to enter and she moved forward. "What's your name?" she asked pulling out her pad and pen.

"I'm Edith Appleton, but you may call me Edie young lady." Joss smiled as she was motioned to sit on the small red sofa in the tiny apartment. The apartment was probably about five hundred square feet the kitchen and living room were one tiny space, and it appeared to have one bedroom, and one bathroom off to the side. "What's this about young lady?"

"You can call me Joss, Edie. I need to know if you seen anything, anything at all that was out of the ordinary tonight."

"I didn't see anything Joss." she figured as such, but kept her face neutral.

"Did you hear anything?" she asked.

"Sadly no dear, I'm going deaf so hearing isn't one of my strong suits, and they live down the hall from me." Joss paused in her scribbling on the pad of paper before she lifted her eyes up to the elder woman.

"Edie, can you tell me what it is that you did tonight?"

"Sure, I had dinner about seven, watched a little television before heading to bed at about nine thirty." Joss sighed.

"Edie, do you know what time it is right now?" the little old lady looked at her clock, squinting.

"I can't see the time on my clock, Joss, can you be a dear and tell me."

"Sure, its nine twenty-five." she responded quietly, and the old woman's face paled. "Edie I am having a hard time believing you that you didn't see or hear anything. Because I didn't tell you where it happened, and you know the layout of your apartment complex stairs block your line of vision, so if you didn't see or hear anything like you stated how do you know it happened down the hall from you?"

"Oh dear, I'm sorry." tears filled the elder woman's blue eyes, and Joss reached out to pat her hand gently.

"Edie, its okay but I need to know what it is that you know."

"I-I'm sorry I can't," Joss nodded her head before pulling out her card. She flipped it over and wrote her home phone and her personal cell phone number on it. She handed it to the woman.

"Please, just call me if you change your mind I can't force you to tell me what it is you saw or heard but it could prevent an innocent woman from going to prison." Joss said before standing up. She wasn't convinced it was as open and shut as E.J. did. She exited the elderly woman's apartment meeting up with Fusco. "Anything?"

"It seems no one seen or heard anything, even if they did they wouldn't talk."

"I found a possibly witness, she's scared I don't know if she'll talk or not." Joss sighed eying the closed door of the elderly woman's apartment. "She's elderly, she shouldn't be in a place like this."

"Carter, its probably all she can afford, senior citizens live off of social security they are only given so much, if she has health issues probably half of what she gets goes to medications." Unfortunately it was the world they lived in, where people forgot about the elderly. Whatever happened to taking care of your elders?

"Yeah well lets finish investigating so we can head home sometime tonight," Joss sighed as they both entered the apartment once more.

* * *

"Mr. Badass, you need to stop twitching." Taylor admonished to him as he changed his bandages. John didn't want the kid anywhere near them, he shouldn't be exposed to having to do this for him.

"Your mother really said to do this for her?"

"Yeah, she said she doesn't want you getting an infection and having the doc having her head for it. Mr. Badass I might be a teenager but I know you went through something bad." the kid was just as gentle as his mother. John had done his own bandages on his chest, and arm but needed help for his back. Taylor finished and was gathering up his old bandages and all the scrap paper.

"Thank you,"

"Don't mention it John, it evens us out a bit."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you saved me from those men, well I'm saving you from infection." That was one way to look at it. Taylor walked back over and sat down. He motioned to the manila folders. "You helping my mom figure out who killed her friend and boyfriend?"

"Yeah, your mother wants to find them justice and I'll help her in any way I can."

"Good, she doesn't ever have anyone that has her back, besides her partner. I don't know him all that well but he was over while you were gone. He seemed to really care for my mom too. So I feel a little bit better when she's gone all the time working."

"Lionel, is loyal to your mother, you don't have to worry about him." the kid nodded. John looked at the clock seeing it was midnight, and Joss was still not around. John had foregone his pain meds trying to stay awake to speak with Joss which his body was none too pleased with. From the top of his hair down to his toes ached and throbbed but he stubbornly refused to take his pills. When the kid yawned he motioned with his hand to his bedroom. "Taylor you can go to sleep, I'll be alright you don't have to stay up with me."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go on to bed." the kid stood up.

"Night, Mr. Badass, see you in the morning."

"Yes, goodnight Taylor." the teenager turned and made his way like a zombie in that game towards his bedroom. John was about to give up himself that Joss would be home anytime soon, when the lock to the place moved. John tensed, but when the door opened and Joss appeared in the threshold he relaxed. She slung the door shut, flinging her purse beside the door before taking her jacket off putting it on the hook. She turned and stopped in her tracks when she saw him sitting on the couch still awake.

"What are you doing up? I thought you'd be asleep from your pain meds." she yawned as she rolled her shoulders making her way into the kitchen. John fumbled a bit into his wheelchair, cursing his body as he slowly got up, pain rocketing up and down his body but he ignored it. John took only a couple moments to get on the wheelchair before he moved towards her in the kitchen. She was pouring herself a glass of milk.

"I would have been had I taken them." She whirled around hearing how close he was to her. He had wheeled himself near the dining table.

"What do you mean had you taken them? You haven't taken your medication yet? John, you have to take them."

"Joss, relax I will later."

"Later my ass, you ate three square meals right?"

"Yes Joss." he answered obediently. She looked like she had a rough day why add to her stress.

"Well I'm not seeing any weight being gained!" he didn't want to remind her that she wouldn't see him gaining that much weight in only a couple days, so instead he tried a different tactic.

"Joss, I'm following the doctor's diet." he sighed and she whirled around throwing open the freezer. She pulled out a carton of ice cream. She pulled out two spoons before making her way over to him. She sat down next to him, holding out a spoon to him. John eyed the Ben and Jerry's ice cream. "Chocolate Fudge Brownie."

"My favorite. Taylor loves Vanilla Caramel Fudge." John quietly dug the spoon into the ice cream as she did. She sighed as she ate some before pointing the spoon at him.

"Did taking a bath work out better than trying to take a shower?" she asked changing the subject drastically. He looked away not wishing to speak about something so embarrassing. Joss had wanted to help him in the shower and he refused blatantly. Taylor had suggested taking a bath and just covering his casts with bags. The teen's idea worked like a charm.

"Yes."

"Good, one less thing I have to worry about." John finally put the spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, closing his eyes. She was right this ice cream was good. "Delicious isn't it?" John smiled at her as he took some more.

"How was work?"

"Long, got another murder to look into right before I was coming home too."

"Yeah that's what Taylor said when he got your text, everything alright?"

"Officers on the scene thought it was open and shut case, though I don't believe it to be the case. When Fusco and I got to the station we learned more deets about the supposed murderer. They performed a gun residue check on her hands, on her right hand there's residue."

"Meaning she shot a weapon recently,"

"Only thing is John, her right hand is crippled."

"What do you mean?"

"Accident, she has slight paralysis in her right hand, can't use it."

"So there's no way she could have fired the weapon then."

"Nope, whoever really killed the guy and the woman, wanted to make it seem like it was her, make it seem like it was a love tri gone bad. It almost worked, until we learned what happened to her hand. There's no way she could have picked up the gun, let alone shoot anyone with it. I think we got lucky though, we have a witness but she might not talk."

"Why?"

"Bad part of town, and she's a little old lady whose fearful to speak. She's like eighty John, living with the riffraff."

"Where is she?"

"South side of the state, close to where the Russians have some stomping grounds. Those people need to be stopped as much as HR."

"Elias, will start a mob war, in hopes of stopping them."

"I know and if you are going to say I shouldn't have saved his life I couldn't let him be murdered like that. I know it was dumb, but no one not even a criminal should be gunned down like that." they ate silently as he looked at her. She was so merciful unlike other people he's known. She was truly a wonderful soul.

"No, you're right." she looked at him. "Maybe we should allow Elias and the Yogorovs to take care of each other."

"What about the innocent people that could get in the way?"

"We'll save them,"

"What if we can't?"

"Our source will help us get their names in time."

"Yeah well, your source whoever or whatever it is, didn't give me your name in time to save you so why should I trust in it?" John sighed not knowing how to combat that. She was right, they hadn't gotten his number in time, the machine hadn't given it to them. But it sounded like the machine had given Joss his location, and his social security number to save him.

"Joss, our source did help you find me."

"You mean those cryptic texts is from your source? How did it know where you were?"

"It sees everything Joss, I can't tell you everything because the less you know the safer you are."

"That doesn't wash John, trust in me tell me what this source is?"

"Joss-"

"If it can see everything it can't be human then, so what it's a computer or something?"

"Joss just let it go."

"I guess for now I will but you have to tell me sometime John. I want to know what your source, how you're getting the information, and I want to know it soon. I don't care about knowing it will place me more in danger, I deserve to know since you and Finch ask me for assistance all the time." John nodded his head and she seemed to be okay with it. "I'm bushed John, I'll just go get a change of clothes out of the closet before you go to bed for the night." John pushed back while she put away the ice cream and placed their spoons into the sink. John slowly pushed the wheels on his wheelchair propelling towards the bedroom while she zoomed in front of him. By the time he reached the doorframe she had already put her night clothes on the couch and was patiently waiting behind him as if waiting for him to ask for help.

"Take your medication," she insisted as soon as he got to the bed collapsing on it in silent agony. She thrust the pill bottle at him and stood there watching as if making sure he was going to take them. He took two, and slid further back onto the bed.

"When my back's healed enough you're taking this bedroom."

"No I'm not." she refused.

"Yes you are."

"Nope, now goodnight John, see you in the morning." she walked to the doorway shutting the door behind her leaving the lamp on. John felt the effects of his pain medication almost immediately, his eyes drooped, and he reached over switching the lamp off and fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Author's note: Yikes, I didn't realize I haven't updated this in almost a week! I hate having such busy few weeks, so I'm sorry for everyone patiently waiting for an update. I finally FINALLY managed to send a smuttified one shot to my friend Elaine to read over for me, so I'll be posting that soon :) So, this chapter is another lengthy one, I combined two chapters again though because it seems everyone is okay with lengthier chapters, which I'm grateful for since the story would drag too long if I don't do this.

Thanks as always you guys are really epic for reading and reviewing as you do. A certain guest reviewer has been gently reminding me of updates, so thank you, I can't believe it was almost an entire week between updates. Where did this week go?


	8. Chapter 7

"What ya doing, Mr. Badass?" Reese stopped looking through the paperwork that Joss collected on HR when her son entered the living room. John was on the couch, his leg in the knee brace stretched out in front of him. Bear was lying beside him as usual, while he had been engrossed in reading. John eyed the time, seeing it was after eleven in the morning. The teen slept in late on the weekends; typical teenager he guessed. Joss had been gone for work since eight; after forcing another huge plate of breakfast on him. He had insisted on going out to the dining table to eat. He wasn't being served anymore though Joss had fussed about it but finally relented.

"Trying to help your mother."

"Come up with anything?"

"Nothing yet, but I might need to call in a favor." he began struggling to get onto his wheelchair. He couldn't wait till he got the damn casts off his wrists so he could use his crutches. He was tired of using the wheelchair.

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot my phone in the bedroom."

"I'll go get it John." He watched as the teen ran towards the bedroom and he grumbled to himself. John was feeling better, though not great, but he wanted to do things for himself. When the kid was back, he kept his emotions under lock and key, not wanting to upset Taylor. He forced out a thank you before dialing a number, waiting only two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello Zoe." he grinned.

"Hello John," her voice grew husky.

"I wanted to call to say thank you for trying to help Finch search for me." Finch and Carter had told him about who they had gone to searching for him. He had been shocked at how many people they each had gone too in search for him.

"You never need a reason to call me,"

"I'll keep that in mind." He smiled. Zoe Morgan was quite a woman; she was as attractive as she was intelligent. However he didn't see them being anything more than just friends that shared an occasional flirtatious comment here and there. She was a good asset to have, but more importantly a good friend to have.

"Let me guess you're calling in need of assistance of one of your random strangers? I'd be happy to clear my busy schedule for you, we could play-catch up," her breathy voice held a hint of more as always.

"Actually it's not a random stranger I'm trying to help but rather a friend. I need information on Alfonso Quinn."

"Alfonso Quinn, the former campaign manager? I only know the basics on him, but I'll go speak with some of my clients for you, John. How about meeting me for dinner tonight? We can speak about your disappearance and what I find out for you then?"

"Zoe, Finch didn't tell you anything did he?"

"About what? He called to let me know that you were found and that I'd hear from you eventually." John sighed leaning his head back.

"We'll have to talk where I'm staying at Zoe; I'm healing from _some_ wounds."

"Never thought I'd hear you admit to not being Superman, but I'm intrigued. A home-cooked meal sounds divine. I haven't had one of those in years and you're the chef. I look forward to it John."

"Come by about seven, I'll text you the address."

"See you then, John," she purred. John hung up with Zoe. He glanced up, seeing Taylor looking at him with an odd expression on his face.

"What?"

"You're healing from some wounds? Mr. Badass, whoever you were talking to when they get a load of you, they'll know what an understatement that is."

"I know, I just didn't know how to tell her over the phone. I had assumed Finch told her what happened, clearly I was wrong."

"Is this lady going to help you, help my mom?"

"I hope so. She has, let's just say, she has connections that others don't seem to have. If there is something not right with this Alfonso Quinn as I am expecting, she will be the one to find out for me."

"Is she your girlfriend?" the question threw him for a loop.

"No."

"So you're available?" John looked over to Taylor as he pulled out some cereal out of the cabinet.

"Well I did profess my undying love for my nurse, Kristina, though I think she is already taken." Taylor cracked him a toothy grin which he smiled a little at. "Taylor, I'm not looking for a woman." The kid didn't say anything else on the subject, but rather he changed the talk to something much more comfortable for him, basketball.

"Will you be alright, Mr. Badass, if I leave to go hang out with some of my friends?"

"I do not need a babysitter," he assured the youngster.

"Yeah well, my mom would have my ass in a sling if I didn't even offer."

"Your mother is very strict," he agreed with slight irritation. Taylor grinned.

"That's because you don't listen. If you'd listen to her from time to time maybe she'd relaxed her rules on you." Taylor yanked his jacket on. "Give me a ring if you need anything."

"I won't need to Taylor; you worry almost as much as your mother." his eyes strayed down to the paperwork in his lap once more.

"I like you." John blinked his eyes, startled, before looking up at the kid. He had known the teen was awed by his skills with firearms and ass kicking. He hadn't thought the kid actually liked him. "Don't look so shocked, Mr. Badass!" The teen had the audacity to laugh at him. He waved at him before disappearing out of the apartment, leaving him alone with Bear. John sighed, feeling cooped up with nowhere to go. He was getting tired of seeing the same four walls. John turned to look at the door as the lock turned before Shaw entered.

"Hey Shaw,"

"Hey John." she replied shutting the door behind her. She moved purposefully towards him the living room, Bear was laying on the floor, and she stopped to pet the dog. "Listen, I'm not here for a social visit."

"When are you ever?" he replied dryly, he could swear he saw the corners of her lips almost appear to make a smile. "An 'almost' smile, I guess I'll take it; what's on your mind Shaw?"

"Finch feels guilty about what you went through; well, he's sulking."

"I tried to call him but he won't answer and I can't exactly leave the apartment," he sighed, eyeing the door wishing, he could.

"Who says? Carter? Like she's a doctor. You're strong enough; I need you to come with me back to the library and talk to Finch." John eyed Shaw for a moment.

"You don't like Carter, do you?"

"No. Let's get you dressed." She leaned down to help him up. He was much bigger than her so he kept still.

"Why?" He wasn't going anywhere till he understood some things. Everyone seemed to be keeping things from him which was really starting to piss him off. He had been tortured, he didn't become stupid!

"She's a cop."

"So? Joss has proven that she is a reliable asset to our purpose, she's also a good friend."

"A friend-" she snorted at that. "Whatever, John. I don't care what the hell is going on between the two of you but she's a cop and could sell us out any moment she wants. What we are doing isn't exactly legal."

"She wouldn't do that, I know you don't trust people easily, but Carter and Fusco are our assets. Carter mentioned having words with Finch."

"Yeah, she went ballistic on him when she thought she knew everything. Well she didn't. She didn't even bother letting Finch defend himself."

"That doesn't sound like Carter, she's fair and level headed."

"Well John you went missing, she was scared for you so all that went out the window." Shaw grabbed his forearm. "Now let's go. I have to go save some murderer's life so I can send him to prison; seems like a waste of real justice to me, but we do need Finch's head in the game. He's the real target, if he's busy feeling guilty he'll make mistakes. Making mistakes means enemies can find you faster." John nodded and Shaw helped him into his wheelchair even though he tried to wave her off. She wheeled him into his bedroom, motioning where his clothes were. He pointed to the dresser. She pulled out a pair of Adidas black with a white stripe workout pants. Sadly it was one of several pairs of those in a few different colors varying from dark blue, to a dusky gray color, with variety colors of plain t-shirts and muscle tanks for when he started to train, and boxer-briefs. Finch hadn't packed any dress pants or dress shirts. "You need help?" Shaw asked holding them up, eyeing him with a tiny smile on her face.

"I can dress myself." he growled snatching them out of her hands. He began un-strapping his knee brace before placing it on the edge of the bed. He slowly pulled the loose fitting pants up his legs; he maneuvered until he had them on.

"He's a big boy now," she quipped earning her a dark look while he replaced his knee brace back on his injured leg.

"Funny Shaw, let's go." He wheeled himself back out of the bedroom to go get his jacket and phone, knowing Joss was going to kill him. But Finch needed him and Finch couldn't run away from him forever.

* * *

"Carter, its official, April McGee was released last night, thanks to her medical condition clearly proving she couldn't have fired a weapon with her right hand."

"I know, I read over her statement; she can't state clearly what happened. She writes she found out Boyd was cheating on her with Maya Armstrong, her friend that night, she had found them together in the apartment she shared with Boyd. She states clearly up to the point of Boyd pushing her, and then it starts getting fuzzy. She drabbles about Maya telling her she loved Boyd and he loved her, then feeling upset, she faints. When she comes to, Boyd and Maya are both dead and the murder weapon in her hand. From what EJ said when he arrived, April did have the gun in her left hand but gunshot residue was found on her right."

"I noticed that too Carter, you think she's lying?"

"Not about the paralysis in her hand, but maybe she witnessed who truly did it? But the bigger question is why did she survive?"

"Maybe she's the mastermind, knew her boyfriend was cheating on her, hired some guys to do it for her, and then could plead innocent."

"Trouble with that theory, Fusco, is if she wanted to come out smelling like a rose, why would she purposely make herself look guilty? It looked like someone was desperately trying to make her look guilty of the double homicide."

"Okay maybe, that theory needs some work."

"Or, she witnessed who did it; they made her the patsy not realizing she had a crippled hand since to anyone just looking at it you wouldn't know. It's not until you see her not moving it, being asked to pick something up and physically being unable to move her fingers. Whoever really did this could have made her the patsy, told her to keep her mouth shut or they'd come find her?"

"Could be, Carter."

"The thing is, if the real killers get wind that we let her go, they could try to off her. I think April McGee could be in some danger. We need to get her and anyone else that saw anything to talk." Joss stood up yanking her light blue blazer off her chair, holstering her piece before handing Fusco a piece of paper.

"What's this?"

"April McGee is staying with family since her place with Boyd is a crime scene; go there and try to get her to talk about what happened."

"Where you going?"

"To the crime scene; more importantly to go speak with Edie Appleton again."

"Who?"

"A possible witness," Joss stated as she hurried to get her coat to leave. Joss felt her phone vibrate; she pulled it out of her pocket seeing it was Taylor. She answered it immediately as she climbed into her car. "Hey baby what's up?" she answered.

"John's not here." She must of heard her son wrong because she had thought he said that John wasn't at the apartment.

"Excuse me?"

"I came home from hanging out with my friends and he's not here. I was just wondering if he was with you at a doctor's appointment I didn't know about."

"I'll call you right back," she said trying to keep calm. John was missing! She hung up with her son before dialing John's phone number. Her heart stopped while it rang.

"Hello," his low, soft voice filled her ear. Her heart began beating again; her relief gave way to anger.

"Hello John, where the hell are you? My son is worried sick; he came home from being with his friends to find the apartment empty!" she shouted into the phone as she drove towards Edith Appleton's apartment.

"I'm sorry. I should have left him a note, Shaw came and picked me up."

"She did what?"

"Finch has been avoiding me. Shaw picked me up so we got a chance to fix things. She's out trying to save their latest person. I'm with Finch right now; we're talking." Joss tried to snuff out the anger that burned in the pit of her stomach. John was so careless over his own recovery, but picking a fight on the phone wasn't what either one of them needed. Joss needed to get John back in the apartment relaxing, and mending. She knew John was getting restless; probably feeling like the walls were closing in on him, but it was too soon.

"John, when are you planning on going home so I can call my son to tell him not to worry?"

"Finch and I should be wrapping up soon, possibly another hour."

"Is Finch taking you home?"

"Yes, oh and Zoe is coming by for dinner with us tonight Joss."

"Zoe, your wife?"

"Cute, Carter! She's coming by with some information on Alfonso Quinn," that piqued her interest. She didn't really know who this Zoe Morgan woman was, she seemed quite smitten with John which amused her and left her with a feeling in her stomach she didn't quite want to analyze. But if Zoe could help her learn more about Alfonso Quinn she'd be indebted to her forever.

"What are you going to be making for us?"

"As the old saying goes, a good chef never reveals what's on the menu." She furrowed her brows sure that wasn't the saying.

"John I think you're mixing that up with a good magician never reveals his secrets," she corrected. "We'll wait till everyone is gone, and Taylor's in bed-I am going to lecture you till you are blue in face John," she guaranteed as she climbed out of her car, arriving at Schulz Estates. During the afternoon it still looked rundown, the blight more evident. "I gotta go, John an hour tops."

"Yes ma'am." She rolled her eyes at his irritation. They hung up and she wasn't going to stop bugging him about taking better care of himself. He needed someone there to remind him he wasn't invincible. Joss texted her son that John was alright while walking up to Edith Appleton's apartment and softly knocked. She waited a few minutes before the door opened.

"Oh hello, Joss." She was wearing a small purple sweater, with black stretchy pants. The little old lady moved back to allow her inside.

"Hey Edie," she greeted the elder warmly. She was enclosed in the room and Edie offered her coffee which she declined. They sat down in her small living space. "I'm sure you know why I came back." Joss leaned forward touching her hand warmly. The little elderly woman placed her small, fragile looking hand on her arm.

"Yes, you wish for me to speak about what I saw. But first, are you alright, young lady?"

"What do you mean?" Joss asked perplexed.

"You seem worried about something—or someone." Joss was taken aback at her perceptive eyes, for someone that couldn't see her clock the night before.

"I am, but he's not what I'm here to discuss, Edie."

"A 'he' huh, your husband?"

"No, just a friend," Joss answered, shifting uncomfortably. Well there were times when she felt anything but friendly towards him. But she kept that to herself.

"I'm sure he feels the same as you, Joss, maybe you should speak to him about it." Joss just stared at the elder woman, she sat back in her chair. "But about the reason you came to speak with me dear, I thought about it long and hard, I'm going to do the right thing."

"I promise I'll keep you safe." Edie smiled softly.

"You worry too much; I'm a strong old bird." Joss shared in her smile.

"No doubt. Tell me what you saw."

"Two tall men, they broke into that youngens' apartment. I heard screaming, I rushed to my door as fast as these old legs could get me to see what was happening." Joss reached out to touch her hand again when she saw the wrinkled hand trembling. "I heard the gunfire, I froze, I know I did, but when I heard them shouting and getting closer I hurried back in my apartment. I'm not sure if they saw me or not." Her soft blue eyes filled with tears. "The next thing I know, I hear from a neighbor that two youngsters were dead. Their life cut too short, if it were me I lived a good long life, but those two were just starting their journey." Joss kept her hand on Edie's for support for a moment longer before she pulled it away. She pulled out her notepad, with her pen poised above the paper.

"Can you give me any description on the two men?"

"Not a lot, dear, my eye sight isn't so good-about as good as my hearing."

"You picked up on my feelings for John," Joss said, admitting to at least this elderly woman that John would never ever meet that she had feelings for him.

"That's because you wear your feelings proudly on your face, dear, not because my eyesight is the best." Edie smiled a little. "I knew they were wearing dark clothing, both men were Caucasian, but sorry, I didn't get a good enough look at them. I didn't have my glasses on at the time."

"Thanks Edie, this is a help. I'll send more patrols to make sure you are safe and nothing happens, okay?" She reached out to touch the small woman again. "You might have helped save April McGee's life, she could be in danger."

"Oh dear, she's a lovely young girl, so sweet and caring." Edie sighed. "Guilt kept me awake all night of what you said."

"I'm sorry Edie; I just needed you to tell me what happened." Joss stood up slowly, not wanting to leave this beautiful little woman.

"Will I see you again, dear?"

"Yeah, I'll stop by after this case is wrapped up." Joss smiled.

"I'd like that; I don't get many visitors. If I don't see you before the holidays have a wonderful time."

"Do you have anyone for Christmas, Edie?"

"No sadly, my lone daughter lives in another state; she's busy with her family on Christmas. I just sit and watch a little TV, and heat up a TV dinner." Joss felt sad. She was all alone on Christmas, no one to be with.

"Well Edie, change of plans for you this year because you're coming over to my place," she stated matter-of-factly. Joss was sure John wouldn't mind, neither would Taylor. Joss had been planning on only inviting her mom, Finch, Fusco, and Shaw to their place. John hadn't said anything about Christmas, but he was going to have fun and celebrate it with them-whether he liked it or not, since he was living with them after all.

"I don't want to impose, dear."

"It's no problem Edie, you could get to meet John-we are living together, strictly platonic," she finished when she saw the knowing smile grace the lips of the elder woman.

"I don't drive, I take the public transport and I-"

"Nonsense! I have a friend who'd pick you up and drop you off in one his limos. His name is Harold, he'd be more than happy to do that." Joss might be upset with him, but she knew Harold, deep down was a good man; a little selfish in his own needs and wants at times, but still a good man. "John's an amazing cook,"

"Alright, you convinced me Joss, thank you for including me in your holidays with your family." Joss could swear she saw tears in the blue eyes but she didn't comment on it.

"No need to thank me Edie, I'll be seeing you soon." Edie struggled to get up to see her out. Joss made her way to her car, finding Edie's description of what she saw happen match up to what they knew so far. The door had been knocked in, which Edie heard as well as screams. She would call in a favor with some of the officers she knew on the beat to get them to travel this area more than once making sure Edie was safe. Hopefully Fusco was having some luck with April McGee.

* * *

Fusco was allowed in by a middle aged man and woman that had both dark hair with silver streaking it. The man had a slight belly starting, suggesting he drank a lot of beer, while the woman was small, fit and trim. He sat down on their stiff white looking sofa while they called for April. She came down and he eyed her. Yep, definitely was hiding something. Her posture was slouched; her eyes never quite looked at him as she entered the sitting room.

"Hi I'm Detective Fusco, you remember me?"

"Yes, it's nice to see you again, detective; you and your partner were very nice to me."

"I have some additional questions for you. I know it was a traumatic experience, so I'll make this as brief as possible, Ms. McGee."

"Please call me April."

"Alright April, can you run through what you saw again just one more time."

"Sure, I came home from work; when I got there Boyd and Maya were in bed together. I was shocked, hurt, angry, and we got into a fight. Boyd was trying to tell me he loved me, while Maya was telling me they loved one another. I was hurt; I was living with Boyd for about a year. I thought he was my one." Fusco scribbled on his pad of paper, listening intently on her.

"You mentioned you felt faint; is that why you can't remember anything between the time you were telling off your cheating boyfriend till the time you found them dead?" Fusco asked keeping his tone light, but kept his question direct and straight to the point. The girl was hiding something.

"Y-yes."

"April, I'm going to level with you, okay? I think you are hiding something from me." Her brown eyes grew wide with worry. "I don't believe you did it, nor does my partner; we think you might be in danger."

"W-why?"

"Because we believe you were the one that was supposed to go down for the murders." Tears filled her eyes. Bingo, Carter had been right. "It's okay April, we won't let anything happen to you, but we need your help. We need to know what they said to you and what they did."

"We were fighting when the door was kicked in." She wiped at the tears and her mother hurried off before reappearing minutes later with tissues. "These two men came in, they shot Boyd and Maya point blank; I just stood stunned." Lionel watched as the young girl paused in her story to pull in breath as a sob escaped her. "T-they turned to look at me, I thought they were going to k-kill me. T-they took my hand and forced me to squeeze the trigger shooting Boyd in the groin. T-they shouted at me to get on the floor near Boyd, and s-said if I told anyone what happened they'd kill me and my family." Her words died as shuddering sobs escaped the girl. She probably thought she was in love with some numb nuts that was having ten girlfriends. Lionel wrote everything down while the parents tried to console the girl.

"April, I got only a couple more questions, then I'll go. Why, when the officers that arrived on the scene, did you have the gun in your left hand?"

"My right hand is paralyzed; I-I was worried since I couldn't feel it, that it might go off." Her words were slow. Lionel believed her, shit she was barely more than a child, just turned twenty, living with a guy much older than she was.

"April just one more question, okay?"

"Okay."

"Can you tell me what these two men looked like?" She nodded her head.

"They were tall, both of them, I'd say, over six feet tall. They were trim, one had blonde hair while the other had really dark almost black. I didn't get a good look at their faces, but both of the men had a big tattoo on their necks. It was really huge, and circular in shape. Otherwise I-I don't remember much I was really scared."

"That's good; do you think you could describe these tattoos to our sketch artist?" She nodded her head in agreement while rubbing at her face. "Thanks this helps April." The young girl was pulled into her dad's arms. He stood up, flipping his note pad shut; motioning he'd be right back to the parents and they nodded. He pulled his cell phone out, quickly calling Carter. She answered on the second ring.

"Anything?"

"Yep, we struck gold, Carter. April McGee was supposed to be the fall guy. Two men broke in, shot Boyd and Maya point blank, then made the girl shoot Boyd in the groin to get the gunshot residue on her hand. April gave me a small description, any luck with your witness?"

"A little, she didn't know much in the way that could help figure out who these men were. She said it was two tall men, dressed in dark clothing but otherwise she couldn't tell much of anything else."

"Well, April gave a pretty good lead: both men had large circular tattoos on their necks. Sound like any street gang you know?"

"Not really, I'll have to get back to you about it."

"I'm just wrapping up with April; we need to send her and her family into protection. She knows too much; once whoever really did it learns she was released they'll be back to shut her up."

"I'll run it up to the Captain."

"Thanks, have the squad car go to the parents home to pick them up, I'll get them to pack."

* * *

Louis Azarello didn't get many visitors in prison; mainly his parents or his sibling, otherwise nothing. When he had been summoned out of his jail cell by the warden, claiming he had a visitor he was surprised. He was even more surprised as he entered the room, seeing it empty except for one man sitting across the other side of the bulletproof glass. The room was one giant sheet of bulletproof glass, with about ten cubicles with hard orange chairs in front of the small beige tabletop. On the side of one of the walls of the small cubicle was a black phone you had to use to speak to your visitors. He eyed the man whom he never seen before with disdain. This was what woke him from his damn sleep, some god damn stranger? He walked toward where he was sitting, picking up the phone to talk to tell him off. The man was big, took up most of the space of his cubby on the other side. He was wearing a black leather jacket, had long dark brown hair that hung over the collar of his jacket. The man had a long jagged scar starting from the side of his nose, dragging down his cheek, and down his neck.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm searching for a man that will help my boss find someone he wishes to reconnect with."

"Touching,"

"Yes, well I'm sure you know the man I'm looking for. I found out through some of my contacts you've met him before and he's the reason you're behind bars."

"Wait a minute, you looking for the guy in the suit?"

"Yes."

"Good luck finding that bastard, I know a few other prisoners here that would love to get their hands on him if they ever saw him again."

"Do you know if he has any contacts?"

"I'm sure he does, but none that I know of since I'm in prison!" Azarello snapped, irritated that this man was even asking him these questions.

"Who was your arresting officer?"

"Detective Carter, that stupid bitch, Carter."

"Did she know anything about the man in the suit?"

"She was looking for him, kept asking me what he looked like. I don't know shit about this guy in the suit, other than if I ever get out of here I'm going to find him and kill him." Azarello stated. He watched as the man nodded, standing up before taking his leave.

Ryder made his way out of the prison, pulling his cell phone out before calling his boss. Finding the man in the suit was much more difficult than he had first thought, but no one could stay hidden forever. Once he learned who had contact with him, find his friends, surely he'll find where he's hiding or even who his boss was truly after….Harold.

"Anything?" he demanded.

"I got a lead on the man in the suit, boss it's to a detective. She might have some useful information we could use, maybe a pattern on what draws him out."

"I have called in a favor to my previous business associate, Mr. Greer, that had first given me Mr. Reese's name. I'm hoping we can exchange services, he might have some additional information for me regarding this, and I can help fund him in his endeavors. If I obtain additional information I'll send it your way Ryder; in the meantime continue your relentless search John Reese."

"Yes sir," Ryder hung up, climbing into his car, and drove off.

* * *

Author's note: yaaaaaay, another update much quicker than before I can't promise updates every other day but I was in an updating mood today :D Uh-oh, poor Joss, now in the sights of Ryder!

thanks as always, for the reading and reviewing :)


	9. Chapter 8

Finch felt better, better than he had in the last couple of days. He shifted his eyes off the road as he drove himself and John back to his apartment after their little talk. John had tried his best to explain to him it wasn't his fault; though he still felt the guilt within, he also felt like he could see John without being a painful reminder of what had happened and why. John had talked with him about several things that were maddening him, one of which was his cool relationship Detective Jocelyn Carter.

Finch explained as best as he could what had happened, his friend didn't seem pleased however. He had listened without saying much until he was finished and he had taken Jocelyn's side on some of it, while his on others. His mind was very much on their conversation from earlier this afternoon, when he had been surprised in the library when Shaw brought John in.

"_Carter said she was upset with you because she felt like you abandoned me. I know you wouldn't have ever given up, Finch. For that, Carter was wrong, but she was upset at the time."_

"_Never Mr. Reese! You are my friend as well as my employee. I didn't realize when I set out to find you to help me save the numbers that you would become a dear friend."_

"_I never thought when I started helping you with the numbers that I'd find a reason to go on, but you gave that to me Finch. You gave me that and you also gave me friendship. I will always be indebted to you for saving my life Finch; I was wasting away before I met you."_

"_You never have to be indebted to me, Mr. Reese."_

"_And you never have to feel guilty over something you had no control over, Finch; what happened to me wasn't your fault. We'll deal with this man; whoever wants to find you, together, with Shaw, with Fusco, and with Carter."_

"_I don't think the detective is ready to forgive me yet, John."_

"_She's forgiven you, she just hasn't forgotten, and you haven't exactly been around to earn her trust back, Finch."_

"_I know I've been staying away because of my guilt over what happened to you. I knew that it would cause another rift between the detective and me, but at the time it had been worth it. Now I see the error in my ways John. I should have been there for her, to help her with her struggles with HR so that Elias wouldn't have to come to her rescue. I'm afraid now that he has, he'll try to use it to his advantage with her, such as trying to blackmail her into helping him, which the detective will refuse and she will be placed back on his hit list. It was my fault; I could have helped her with HR setting her up but I was so wrapped up in looking for you, working on our numbers, sadly I put her woes in the back of my mind. It wasn't a very nice thing to do to a friend."_

"_Apologize Finch; you once told me an apology goes a long way." John cracked a smile at him._

"_I tried she didn't want to hear it at the time."_

"_Joss is stubborn like that."_

"Finch," John's quiet voice knocked him out of his reverie from their earlier conversation, realizing he had pulled up to John's apartment complex that he had chosen for the simple fact that it was roomy for John to maneuver with a wheelchair and close by so everyone could keep an eye on him. Finch hid a smile; John would surely have done far more to impede his condition had he been left alone to his own devices. Finch quickly climbed out of the car, popping the trunk on the way to get John's wheelchair out of the trunk. He breathed heavily pulling it out, unfolding it for John. He looked up to see John on his good leg, leaning against the car for support while waiting for him.

"JOHN YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON YOUR FEET FOR THAT LONG!"

"Finch, relax, I've been on my feet exactly two seconds, you sound like Carter now." he grumbled as he lowered himself onto his wheelchair. They began their slow trek to the apartment complex.

"That's because you have to allow your body time to heal a little before the detective and Ms. Shaw can rehabilitate and work with you!" he scolded his friend. The big man just shrugged a little, not put off by his anger. Surely he should give Jocelyn Carter a healthy check for having to put up with John's reckless disregard of his own recovery. "Do you still have that cushion I got you, when you got shot by the CIA?" Finch asked as he held the door open for John to wheel himself into the apartment complex.

"Yes."

"Why aren't you using it, it will work wonders for your back...and bottom?!" John sighed, and Finch shook his head in exasperation. Right, he forgot big bad former assassins couldn't use the donut to help the lower back hurt less and relieve the numbness Reese was probably feeling in his bottom from sitting in the wheelchair so long. It would make him look weak he supposed.

Finch limped in happy silence with John as he slowly wheeled himself down the hall. Finch grabbed the door knob, glad to see it unlocked, which must mean Ms. Carter was home. He opened the door and they were immediately greeted by Jocelyn Carter and Bear. Finch shifted his eyes to John whose eyes lit up when he saw her. John's affections for the detective were getting clearer as time went on, either that or Finch was getting good at reading John's emotions. Bear was extremely happy to see them, licking at John's hands, waiting to be petted by him. Then it was Finch's turn to be licked and to pet the dog. However it didn't take a rocket scientist to know what the detective was feeling right now, in one word, anger.

Jocelyn Carter's barefoot tapped the hardwood floor, her arms crossed across her chest, with a downright scary look on her beautiful face. Finch shifted his gaze off the volcano about to erupt to John. John seemed unfazed by her anger and was smiling.

"Hello Joss,"

"Hello Joss, that's it?! You said an hour, I beat you home, John!"

"It was only an extra hour." Finch wanted to know why it seemed like John was intentionally baiting the detective. Joss's look could make him sweat and confess all his sins, while it appeared Mr. Reese found it entertaining.

"John you look pale, you needed to take your medication and Taylor was going to change your bandages on your back for me if I wasn't home in time. Did you eat lunch while with Finch?" she demanded. Finch grimaced which the detective noticed. "Thank you Finch for being truthful. What do three square meals a day mean to you John; it means to me three meals!"

"Joss I'm sorry I'll eat right now."

"Oh yes you are, I need to fatten you up, John. I don't like how skinny you are still. The doctor said rest, I know that's a foreign concept to you, but Dr. Stevens was very adamant that you were to be resting these first few days out of the hospital. He didn't want me to be reporting to him that you were doing too much." Finch winced; Mr. Reese was getting a mighty lecture. "And Finch you know better, John needs to rest!" Finch gulped, he felt like he was back as a kid and had upset his mother.

"I'm sorry detective, you are quite correct, I didn't realize the time." Joss nodded before glaring at John again.

"Joss, I was going stir crazy and Shaw came by with an offer I couldn't refuse." Finch heard the detective mumble something under her breath about men being pigheaded morons, but he couldn't be quite sure if that was what she said. Joss walked around grabbed the handles to the wheelchair and pushed John quickly to the couch.

"You put your ass on that couch, and don't move one muscle while I make you a sandwich for lunch." Finch's mouth opened in shock. No one could ever speak to Mr. Reese like that.

"Joss," Mr. Reese's patience had run thin, Finch now heard the irritation in John's voice. Detective Carter smiled.

"Well I wouldn't treat you like this if you would do as you were told! You're in my care John, everyone stuck you with me, so you should be thanking Finch, Fusco, and Shaw for it." she snickered at John before stomping by him towards the kitchen.

"Wait till I'm strong enough, so you can't boss me around you power monger," John called out. Joss looked at him first and then to John who struggled to sit on the couch sideways to look her way.

"Wait till I get to train you John, you'll be begging for G.I. Jane, I can guarantee it!" she called out with Finch feeling like he was intruding on their home life. Bicker and argue amicably, then talk and laugh. Finch eyed her and she shrugged. "Fusco's nickname for Shaw just rolls off the tongue; you want a sandwich too, Finch?" she offered but he held up his hand.

"No thank you, detective. I came to drop John off; I must go help Ms. Shaw out with our latest person in need."

"That murderer."

"Yes I, however, don't see him being a murderer. But I guess appearances are deceptive. Before I go, detective, I want to express my deepest apologies to you." She didn't say anything right away as she began making a sandwich for John.

"For what?" Her words were carefully chosen, as if she was waiting to see his response, if he truly knew why she was upset with him.

"For not being a true friend to you, not being there for you when you needed me to be. I was so self-absorbed in finding John and working on my own persons of interest to save, I left you on your own. I'm truly and deeply sorry for that detective. I don't know if you can find it in your heart to forgive me or not, but regardless if you do or not, I'm here for you now. I'll help search for answers for Szymanski and Beecher's deaths. HR did both deeds, but proving it will be difficult." Joss had looked up at him, abandoning making John's sandwich to eye him during his apology. She nodded.

"Apology accepted; however the trust between us is broken Finch. I don't trust you right now; I'm not sure how long it will be for me to regain my trust in you. But you are my friend, thank you. I need all the help I can get to find Beecher and Szymanski's murderers and take down HR once and for all!"

"I understand Jocelyn, I'm just grateful you accepted my apology. The rest will follow once I prove to you once more that I'm trustworthy." Finch smiled warmly at her and, for the first time in a long time, the detective smiled back at him. Finch rubbed Bear's head before he bid her farewell and waved at Mr. Reese before exiting. He needed to help Shaw with her person, then get to working on Szymanski and Beecher's murders and figure out who harmed Mr. Reese in order to find him.

* * *

"Finch, are these people ever going to come home?" Shaw was tired of waiting for these two. She was milling around their home, looking through their things, trying to find out who was a killer and who wasn't.

"Ms. Shaw, patience." his reply in her ear made her smile a little bit.

"Not one of my strong suits, Finch." She had spent the better part of her day in the Bailey's home waiting for them to return home from work. She'd been there ever since she dropped John off at the library to let the two talk. That had seemed to work, Finch had contacted her about three hours ago, seemingly in a much better mood. Since then they have been on contact over the earpieces, waiting for their number and his wife to arrive home. "Tell me a joke."

"I don't know any jokes Ms. Shaw."

"Figured as much, I know one. Have you heard the one about a priest, a rabbi, and a-" she paused in her joke telling when she heard voices outside. "Hold that thought, I think the Baileys have finally come home."

"Good, but your joke telling is less than to be desired, Ms. Shaw." She snickered a little while walking to the front entrance, hanging off to the side of the door, glad for the darkness shrouding her. The door opened and she heard them talking and laughing. She clicked the hammer to her gun, making them both pause.

"Take whatever you want in the house, we don't care, just please don't hurt us." Victor or Oliver said quietly. Shaw rolled her eyes at the man.

"You must have heard that many times Oliver Cavaugh," she stated as she flipped the light switch on. She slid the door shut. "Both of you move, towards your lovely living room and sit on the couch." Shaw shoved on the man in his back with the barrel of her gun.

"So, you aren't Samantha Reed, owner of Animal Haven, I take it," Ada Bailey said.

"Wow, you are smart and teach dance." Shaw said with a slight condescending tone to her voice. The couple sat down and she eyed the two. "Look, I need to know everything, because Harold and I don't exactly believe you to be a killer," Shaw said, watching Victor or Oliver or whatever the hell his name was. He sighed; closed his eyes and opened them to stare at her.

"I'm not, but it is true, I am Oliver Cavaugh."

"He's a good man; he didn't do what they said he did." Shaw shifted her gaze off Victor onto Ada.

"You knew him back then?"

"Yes I knew him back then. He was my boyfriend, I loved him; the police were looking for him and I hid him. When he explained everything to me I believed him; so we went on the run, became different people and we were living a nice life. Now you come out of nowhere bringing up Oliver Cavaugh."

"Well lady, your killer boyfriend's past is coming to bite him in the ass. My friend and I look into saving or putting away people that we get their name from our source. Our source is never wrong, and we were given Victor Bailey's. Who was Victor Bailey, may I ask?"

"A guy that died about ten years ago, he was about my age, so I bought his social security number from one of my friend's that I sometimes ran with in home invasions." Shaw nodded, so his 'friend' must have gotten those social security numbers to sell on the black market, making him some real dough from criminals in need of fake identities.

"So there is one person out there that would know your fake identity then. Okay tell me about this woman you killed...or didn't kill supposedly?" she demanded, never taking her gun off them.

"It's true, the part of the report that said I was going to go rob their home. I smashed in a bay window in what appeared to be a living room. I heard screaming happening as I climbed in. I saw the husband chasing his wife, then he smashed her over the head with a heavy pot a couple times over. I froze and panicked; the husband looked up and saw me. I ran, I ran to Ada." Shaw shifted her gaze from Oliver to Ada.

"Is that your real name?"

"My full name is Adela Taylor, my nickname had been Ada, so when we ran I just shortened it to Ada Bailey. We aren't legally married, but we are married in her hearts."

"Touching, so you witnessed the husband bash in the wife's head." she said without a smile or any emotion. She wasn't like John where she felt bad for the people. John had a heart, she didn't.

"Yes but I ran, no one is going to believe me, a career criminal who was breaking into their home to steal cash and little jewelry, over that guy. That guy is rich, he could buy off anyone."

"Yeah I'd say, since there is a five million dollar bounty on your head for bringing you in dead or alive."

"What?"

"And since we got Victor Bailey's name, that means the guy that you got your identity from talked, probably scoring at least a million or two for the name you went under. You are about to have any bounty hunter or crazed lunatic on your front door step. You have two options, you could turn yourself in to the local authorities or you can come with me until I can lift the bounty from your head."

"I can't go to the authorities, I can't leave Ada." Shaw nodded, really not caring which option he chose.

"You lied to us, why should we trust you?" Ada demanded, sounding like she had hurt her feelings.

Shaw eyed Ada. "Listen lady, I don't care if I hurt your feelings by duping you or not, I need to get you two to a safe house before you are both killed. Unless you want that, which can be arranged. I could just skip out of here, let the bounty hunters come in and take him away." Tears filled Ada's eyes.

"No."

"Then you need to trust in me and Harold to take you somewhere safe for the time being." Shaw waited a few minutes while the couple stared at one another, holding each other's hand. Could she gag now or later?

"Okay," they agreed quietly, solemnly.

"Get some clothes; then you both are coming with me."

* * *

The man was infuriating; he wouldn't take his medication because he didn't want to fall asleep before dinner. Joss had a half of mind to force the pills down John's throat. His eyes showed the pain he was in, but he was stubborn. Joss inhaled the air, the scents from his dinner was intoxicating. She was going to make John her permanent chef even when they went back to their own apartments. She was going to have him make her and Taylor dinners from now on. She was decent in the kitchen but her food didn't have delicious aromas like his had.

"Taylor, Ms. Morgan will be here soon you should turn that game off." she said as she checked the dinner for John. He had excused himself to the bathroom only a minute prior, with all the painful movements it took him forever in there. Joss heard a light knock on the door. "Scratch that Taylor, she's here, turn it off."

"Got it, mom," her kid sighed, but she didn't care. They had a dinner guest, they were going to be on their best behavior regardless of if this were their place or not. Joss walked to the door, slinging it open and nearly laughed. Zoe had posed obviously expecting John to be the one to greet her. Her pretty face had a come hither smile that melted to a frown, her arm dropped to her side and her posture straightened.

"Detective?" Zoe Morgan had been caught unaware, something she was sure this brunette rarely had happen to her.

"Ms. Morgan glad that you could join us for dinner." Joss smiled to herself as the woman entered, clearly confused. Joss slid the door shut, taking the bottle of champagne.

"It was for John to celebrate the fact that he was found." Joss eyed Zoe wondering why the woman would even think that John could drink. On his pain medications he was forbidden to have a drop of alcohol. She shrugged, maybe it was more of the gesture, and for the future. Joss didn't really like the fact that she felt a little jealous. John had the right to having Zoe over whenever he wished, he wasn't hers.

"Ms. Morgan this is my son Taylor, Taylor this is Ms. Zoe Morgan." She motioned to her son. Taylor smiled slightly at her and Zoe looked even more caught off guard.

"I didn't realize you had a son."

"I do."

"And I didn't realize he would be here."

"Ms. Morgan, did John tell you anything about what happened?" Joss asked hoping the man had, because poor Zoe appeared to be thrown for a loop.

"You can call me Zoe please, and no, John didn't say a word about you joining us for dinner."

"I see." Joss nodded. Well she was in for a shock, she had no clue what happened to John. "Make yourself comfortable."

"I have a feeling you live here detective."

"That's because we do," Taylor stated. "My mom and Mr. Badass are living together." Zoe's sculpted eyebrows rose high in surprise, before looking at her. Joss shot her son a look.

"Okay, it's not the way my kid is making it sound," she assured the brunette woman.

"Joss, are you still stirring the dinner?" Joss, Taylor, and Zoe all turned to look at John who appeared in the threshold of his bedroom. Joss felt Zoe stiffen beside her, heard her soft gasp as she eyed John. John looked up after he had maneuvered the wheelchair through the doorway, seeing Zoe already there and seemingly sensing her distress. "I'm sorry Zoe, Taylor told me I should have told you what happened to me, but I didn't know how to."

"I-I didn't realize…" Joss felt bad for Zoe as she trailed off, unable to finish whatever she was going to say. She swore she saw tears glistening in the woman's eyes. She had a feeling Zoe cared a lot about John. Joss was a pretty good judge of character; she'd say that Zoe was the type of woman not to get deeply involved with a man. She appeared to be happy by herself, taking a man as a lover whenever the urge struck, but it seemed John was an exception. Joss couldn't say she blamed her; John had that effect on people. He had that effect on her too which was hard for her to admit. When she first met him back in the police station before she got to know him, his haunted blue eyes spoke to her that he was a man that was in need. Her first assessment had been correct, the more she grew to know him the more she cared for him. Her feelings for John were complicated and not something she wanted to figure out for the time being.

"Can I take your coat Zoe?" she asked when the silence became awkward. Zoe nodded holding onto a folder shifting it hand from hand while slipping the crimson colored coat off of her petite form. Zoe was wearing a skintight black dress. Zoe was a little overdressed which she blamed John for, he should have told Zoe about his physical condition. Joss hung her coat up, and moved close to the brunette who was eyeing John from her spot near the door. Taylor had gone to talk with John as he sat on the high rise bar stool stirring the food in the pot.

"I had no idea, I guess I was being naïve to think that John disappeared for six months and would just come back the same."

"It's okay Zoe, you didn't know."

The brunette looked at her. "Is he going to be alright?"

"He will be, but he needs time to recover. The doctor expects him to make a full recovery; his emotional recovery I'm expecting to take a very long time. You don't get over torture that severe in a matter of months. It lives with you, I suspect, forever." Joss sighed as they stood together eyeing John and her son.

"I'm suspecting what I was to get information on was to help you, wasn't it detective?"

"Please call me Joss."

"Alright Joss, was it?"

"Yes people close to me died because of HR, I need to know if Alfonso Quinn is a part of HR or not."

"Then my information for you is what you will want to hear, because I found out some interesting information on Alfonso Quinn."

"Thank you in advance for your help."

"No need to thank me, detective, I'd do anything for John. May I ask why are you two living together?" Was that a jealous tone in her voice? This strikingly beautiful woman was jealous of her? Nah, she was imagining things.

"No one trusted John to live alone because he'd do too much, too fast, so they thought he'd listened to me the most." She shrugged. "He's been out of the hospital only a few days and is supposed to be in bed resting. But John hasn't been resting as much as he should."

"John doesn't strike me as the type to be just able to sit and do nothing." both Zoe and Joss turned to eye John as he talked with her son.

"No he's not," she agreed. Joss motioned for her to follow her towards the dining room of the spacious apartment. Zoe placed the manila folder on the coffee table after she motioned where to place it. When dinner was served, Zoe appeared to be less tense. John had made baked Teriyaki Chicken with a side of steamed broccoli they had on hand. Joss was going to have Finch ask John for a grocery list, that way he could cook whatever dinners he wanted. They all ate silently, enjoying every bite of the delicious meal.

"John you are a very good cook," Zoe sighed as she sipped the wine Joss had poured for her and herself. Taylor opted for his Gatorade, while John drank water. Joss made sure John had a healthy amount of food on his plate, glad to see every last drop was almost gone. Taylor excused himself when Joss steered the conversation to why Zoe had come. Joss noticed the pain in John's eyes, noticed the tiredness in him. This was why he should have taken his pain medication.

"How about we move this to the living room, where you can get more comfortable, John?" Joss stated quietly but firmly. John was pushing his body too hard, and she wanted him as comfortable as possible while they talked about Alfonso Quinn. John nodded without giving her any trouble; Zoe eyed her as they both stood up and followed John to the living room. Joss sighed, seeing just how weak John was thanks to pushing himself too much today. He was having a bit of trouble getting out of the wheelchair. "See John, this is why the doctor said to stay home and rest."

"I'm fine,"

"No you're not John, you're tired and weak," she snapped hoping like hell he hadn't just overdid it today to set him back in his recovery. Tomorrow she was going to make sure he stayed put, then she was going to have a talk with Shaw. She had placed John's recovery on the line to help Finch which angered her. John refused her help and managed to get on the couch, pale once more. Joss sighed, moving towards his bedroom, seeing Zoe look on, not sure what to do. Joss came back in the room with his pain pills, and the half drank bottled water from his nightstand. "Take them." she stated putting them on his fingers. John didn't say a word as he threw them back, and took a swallow of water.

Zoe took a seat at one of the sofa chairs while Joss took the other near John. Zoe grabbed the folder she had brought and had placed on the coffee table while dinner was made ready.

"Alfonso Quinn was the campaign manager for Ed Griffin during his run for mayor, now he's the Chief of Staff for him as the new mayor. Politicians come and go like the wind, the real power players are the people beneath the politician. They're the ones that never go away, like Alfonso Quinn, who is the real head of HR," she stated, pulling out his photo. Joss stared at the woman as she nonchalantly blew her world away. Alfonso Quinn, was the head of HR. Cal had said he was his godfather, that would mean-

"How do you know?" she asked. Zoe eyed her.

"I have many clients and contacts, Joss. My world is filled with power players seeking information or favors. A client of mine owed me for a previous fix, so I offered to nullify the debt if he could clue me in on anything about Alfonso Quinn. He has had dealings with HR before, met briefly with Mr. Quinn, they exchanged services. It is clear that Mr. Quinn is the one that runs things; it's very hush however. It's not well known that he is the head of HR, that way none of their enemies, namely Elias, can take him out." Zoe pulled a photo out of Carl Elias fingering him. "Elias has been making ripples in his pursuit of finding HR's head to chop it off."

"Elias is out for blood, Quinn murdered his men, sided with the Russians, and then nearly offed him," John spoke quietly. "Makes sense why Elias would want the top dog; he's hoping if he kills Quinn then HR folds."

"Do you have any proof that Quinn is the head of HR?"

"Joss, I live in a gray world; not everything is black and white and proof is hard to come by." Joss nodded knowing that, but she was no closer to getting HR for Szymanski and Beecher's deaths than before. Zoe paused before pulling out another photo, this time it was of Terney. Joss stared at the man that had threatened her son.

"Detective Raymond Terney, whom I'm sure you know Joss, is third in command, Officer Simmons is Quinn's right hand man."

"Joss," John's voice was soft, which pulled her eyes from glaring holes into Terney's smarmy face. John's eyes were shutting; he was having a hard time fighting sleep. It was from pushing himself too far and the pain medications were fast acting.

"Stop fighting sleep, John," she whispered wishing to reach out and touch him but was trying to refrain from doing so. Joss lost the fight with herself, her hand reaching out of its own accord brushing his forearm.

"We need to flip one," he yawned.

"Flip one?"

"We need to get one of the top dogs to work for us,"

"How John?"

"You said Terney was against killing women?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Sounds like he's soft; maybe we can maneuver him into helping us."

"Go to sleep John, we'll talk about this more when you get some rest," she whispered. John's voice was getting lower and lower as his eyes struggled to stay open. Joss watched as John finally couldn't resist sleep any longer, when his eyes remained shut, his face relaxed a little. Bear had been sitting near Zoe where the woman petted him from time to time until he saw his master asleep then the dog got up to lay near John.

"You care a lot about him." Joss blinked looking towards Zoe.

"Yes I do," she agreed. She wasn't going to try to lie because she did care a lot about John. There was no shame in that.

"He cares a lot about you too." It wasn't said as a question, more as an observation. Joss shrugged.

"He considers me a friend."

"It's more than that Joss. He listens to you, looks at you in a way a friend wouldn't," Zoe stated as she stood up, eyeing John for a moment. "My world is knowing people; John's a mystery which annoys and interests me. I never find attractive AND interesting men, its either-or, but never both." Joss couldn't help but furrow her brows unsure of where the woman was going with this.

"Okay?"

"He's your mystery and not mine." her eyes widened as realization dawned on her. Zoe was making her way around the couch where John was sound asleep thankfully, not able to hear their conversation. Joss followed the beautiful woman as she pulled on her coat.

"John's not mine." Joss assured the woman. She didn't want Zoe and John's relationship or whatever they were to one another in jeopardy, over Zoe construing John and her friendship to be more than what it was. The brunette flicked her long hair over the collar of her jacket, turning to eye her with a small smile.

"Detective Carter, whether you want him or not, John only wants to be yours." with that the beautiful, mysterious, and downright irritating know it all of a woman exited their place. Joss watched as she disappeared down the hall. She shut the door and couldn't get rid of what Zoe Morgan said out of her mind.

* * *

Author's note: Yay, Joss forgave Finch, now they just need to fully heal after things that were said and done. They are inching their way back. John likes to egg on Joss's anger doesn't he :D Next chapter: you'll learn the connection, between a certain case and the people that took John, and Fusco makes an recurrence :D

Thanks as always for reading/reviewing you guys are so wonderful at it, I heart you guys so much!


	10. Chapter 9

"What's up Fusco?" Joss asked as she sat in the waiting room in the hospital. John was currently getting checked out by Dr. Stevens, leaving her a chance to answer Fusco's call.

"What are you doing?" he asked instead.

"John's getting his kidneys, his knee, his arms, his weight all checked on, need I go on?"

"Yeah, yeah I get it. Wonder boy's new name is Humpty Dumpty who needs to be put back together." Joss rolled her eyes at his joke. Now that John was recovering it didn't bother her; had he made a joke about a week ago she would have reamed him a new ass. "Carter, did you make any headway on the gangs that could have that tattoo?" She sighed, leaning further back in the red uncomfortable chair; it didn't really have any cushioning to it.

"No, not any street gangs I looked into had a circular tattoo like that, at least none that I came across."

"Hey, how about you ask Humpty if he knows of a gang or not with that tat? He seems to know all the criminal low lives of the state."

"Actually that's not a half bad idea Fusco; John might know if they are a street gang or not. Did April speak to the sketch artist yet?"

"Yeah she just left, she described the tat pretty well; I got a photo of it that I'll text to ya."

"Thanks, hey could you maybe fax me copies of the crime scene photos? Finch's apartment has a fax machine; when we get back there I'll get the number for you."

"Why?"

"I can have John look at them, see if they are a professional hit."

"He should know since he used to do that."

"Thanks Fusco for the running commentary," she huffed. Like she didn't know John had done things like that; he had been in the CIA, it was something she chose to not think about. John was a good man, something the CIA tried to break in him for sure. She couldn't even think how John would willingly go sign up for the CIA; he didn't have it in him to be a heartless killer. If she placed a bet on it, she'd say John was coerced into it with the line 'you're saving your country'. He signed on, did as they requested while silently suffering the entire time he was in the agency.

"I'm just saying, Carter, our guy might prove to be useful. Sidelined with his plethora of injuries we get to use all his knowledge of his CIA days." Joss sighed. "You didn't come in yesterday, did Mr. Happy need you?"

"Well, not need me, per say, but I was watching him. He overextended himself the day before, so I stayed home making sure he relaxed. The doctor will have my head if John's recovery was set back because he decided to do too much. But John and my son had a great boy bonding time over video games, pizza, and football."

"I feel like a chump," Fusco sighed and she laughed.

"Why?"

"Mr. Happy was doing all that I wished I could be on a Sunday minus video games, while I was at work talking with skeeves, and other low life people searching for clues."

"Yeah well I was doing work too, while Taylor and John had their fun. Personally I think John would rather be working than stuck resting, the man has ADD I believe. He's restless when he's forced to sit for longer than an hour, I nearly screamed at him at the end of the day." She heard Fusco's laughter at that. "It isn't funny Fusco. You try to deal with an overbearing former assassin who is stubborn as a mule whose feeling better but not enough to be up and about, and not get cranky after a while."

"Yeah well I said it before and I'll say it again, better you than me. Just saying."

"Yeah, that's all you guys said when you stuck him with me," she grumbled, though she wouldn't change it for anything. Spending time with John, being there for him when he needed her was gratifying. John never needed anyone, never asked for anything; he was always there for everyone else. So getting to be there for him for a change was a nice role reversal for her and one she took seriously. Plus, she loved having intimate moments with him. While he did his work with Finch there would be stretches of time she wouldn't see or hear from him for days. During those times she missed him tremendously. While he'd been kidnapped, she missed his dry humor, she missed their banter, and she missed seeing those eyes, so expressive with what he was feeling.

Joss was getting lost in thought; she almost didn't hear Fusco continuing speaking.

"He listens to you, even though you don't think it, he does. If he was with me, Lady Rambo, or glasses, surely the man would be on his splinted leg trying to kneecap people for looking at him funny." She sighed. "Have you gotten the crabby commando to talk about what happened to him yet?" Joss had been putting that off. She wanted to talk to him about what happened, knowing that the person was still out there, quite possibly still searching for John or Finch. But she wasn't sure if she could handle hearing about John's torture.

"I will."

"No rush or anything, but there is a guy out there willing to nearly take apart a guy to find Mr. Vocabulary."

"I know, I'll try talking to him about it today," she snapped, angry with herself for prolonging it, and irritated with Fusco for saying what she already knew.

"Good, the sooner John gets to talkin maybe there is something he doesn't think is a clue and it really is."

"Send me that photo of the tattoo, I'll text you when we are back at the apartment with the number to Finch's fax machine. I'll be at the station in a few hours."

"See you then." Joss hung up with Fusco, her mind drifting to the conversation she had with Zoe Morgan a couple nights ago. She claimed John was hers, that John had feelings for her. John cared for her; she knew it, just as she cared for him. They had mutual respect for one another and worked well together. He irritated her with his disregard of procedure or recklessness, but their different styles complimented each other. Joss wasn't sure what John felt for her was anything beyond platonic. So what if Zoe claimed it, she wasn't an expert or anything. Besides that, she'd barely seen her and John together, what twice now? Once on Saturday and once before that almost a year ago.

John was attractive, he could have any woman he wanted, and surely the man was hit on on a regular basis. Joss knew she was pretty, but she also knew she had flaws. She had a curvier figure, surely nothing John would find attractive. Zoe was more John's type of woman, petite. Which was fine because John and her talked, really talked and listened to one another. It was one of the reasons she missed him so much during their avoidance of one another, after what happened with Kara.

"Detective Carter," she looked up from the floor where she hadn't realized she was staring lost in thought. Kristina, John's nurse during his time in the hospital, smiled at her.

"How's John, Kris?"

"He's still grouching to Dr. Stevens about wanting to be able to start his physical therapy which the doc doesn't want for at least another week or two."

"Has he gained weight?" she demanded praying he had.

"You'll be happy to hear detective John has gained a full four pounds in the few days he's been with you. Good job, on fattening him up."

"Oh thank god."

"May I ask something detective?"

"Sure?"

"Why aren't you and John together, you are always taking care of him, always there for him while his girlfriend seems to be a cold fish and has no time for him?" Joss stared.

"Sam cares about John; she just has a hard time showing it." Joss winced at her answer, knowing how it sounded.

"His girlfriend is definitely not John's type."

"Sam is a beautiful woman," Joss pointed out which Kris smiled at.

"Not questioning that, she's just not his type. If I wasn't in love with my boyfriend I'd go after that." Joss smiled at the nurse as she turned slightly pink in the cheeks. John had gotten to this straitlaced nurse who appeared to not be affected by John's charms. It seemed Kris was, she just never clued John in on it. "John's a stud, which us nurses knew even before he got rid of the beard and had gotten a haircut. I had to fight with the other nurses to get him. Let me tell you it was cutthroat to be John's nurse!" Kris smiled at her. "See those nurses over there?" Kris pointed to her left. Joss stood up from her seat to follow where Kris was pointing. There were about four nurses, all wearing different colored scrubs, all fussing with their hair.

"Yeah?"

"They are all about to go into John's room to see if Dr. Stevens needs anything, then they'll casually say hello to John and make small talk with him." Sure enough, one of the women with a giddy look walked into John's room.

"Don't they have a job to do?" Joss huffed. It seemed that John had his very own fan club here at the hospital.

"They do, but you have to have some fun and gawking at a hot guy is a part of that. Wait till John's fully recovered, I can just imagine the chick magnet he is." she chuckled.

"Isn't he ever," Joss agreed slowly.

"The nurse that went in, her name is Brianna, the thing about her is the more nervous she is the faster she speaks. John's going to get a headache because she gets really nervous around attractive men. Come on lets go save John from himself." Kris smiled as they both walked together towards John's room. She couldn't help but grin as the crestfallen looks on the other nurses as they entered.

* * *

John wondered why nurses kept coming in asking how he was, he didn't recall having this many nurses during his stint here. He had many, but surely not this many. When one left another came in, his doctor smiled but never once said anything as he checked his knee making sure it was healing right. John softly talked with some of these nurses. This newest one he knew for sure he'd never seen in his life. She was talking a mile a minute, it was quite hard to follow what she was saying. He tried to understand what she said, nodding when he thought he should. John looked towards the door when he heard movement and nearly sighed with relief when he saw Joss and Kristina walking in.

"Hey Bree, don't you have Mr. Sorroli to go check on?"

"Yes," she squeaked her cheeks blazing as she eyed him. She whirled, her small ponytail flying as she scurried out of his room. "Sheesh, can't have all these so called friends of mine hitting on the man that professed his love to me, and who I've seen naked."

"Another profession of love for you Krissy?" Dr. Stevens laughed softly touching the surrounding area of his leg checking for any problems. "Tried to get out of something huh, Mr. Warren?" John eyed the doctor shrugging.

"I'll have you know, Dr. Stevens, that not all my patients profess their love to me just to get out of something. John here just adored me giving him sponge baths so much he had to naturally say I love you." She winked. Dr. Stevens and the rest of the hospital probably knew how much he had hated those damn sponge baths. Then him needing her help in the shower was even more embarrassing. "Although I should be the one to say I love you, since I got to see you wet and naked." She laughingly wiggled her brows while John rolled his eyes at her.

"Well, Mr. Warren you are progressing quite nicely. Your broken wrists are mending and if everything continues to heal correctly you'll get the casts off after about five weeks. Your muscles around your knee and the tendon we surgically repaired appear to be healing quite nicely too. Your numerous lacerations on your back, your arm and stomach are all doing well. Detective, I'll make sure to give you more prescribed medicated ointment to apply on his back. Some of the small stitches we put in for some of the deeper gashes on his back should come out in a few days. I'll have Kris set up another appointment for Mr. Warren on Thursday."

"Does that mean I can start training, so I can get back on my feet?" he asked hopefully. The doctor chuckled a bit at him, while Kristina was rolling his pant leg down over the taped up knee for him.

"No." John glared at his doctor, who continued to shoot him a warm smile. "Mr. Warren, I can assure you looks that can kill won't make me change my mind. Your leg is healing but it's nowhere near ready to support any weight. You are to continue using crutches or, in your case, your wheelchair since you have two broken wrists," he motioned at his casts. "You want to never be in that wheelchair again correct? So you must take slow steps in getting better. Overdoing it will make things worse and make your recovery longer."

"Don't want that," he griped, shifting to swing his uninjured leg off the bed before gingerly moving his other leg off the bed. John refused Kristina's help to get to the wheelchair hopping on his one foot.

"Clearly you have your hands full with this sourpuss, don't you Joss?" Kristina spoke and he shot her a look.

"Just because I love you, Kris, doesn't mean I'll take this harassment. My love only goes so far," John quipped. Kris's grin widened.

"Harassment? I saved your butt with those other nurses; you should be asking me to marry you for that. You'd surely blush at the things they say about the man that's got blue eyes that rival the sky." John refused to blush. Kristina's comment was to do just that. She leaned down to whisper in his ear, his eyes widened and he felt his face heat up. Surely she was making that up, no nurse would say or do such a thing.

"John, are you blushing?" Joss asked with a wide grin on her face. John glared at her, then the doctor who seemed to laugh at his expense before flicking his gaze back at Joss.

"No, I'm just warm in here," he lied. He eyed the room with a menacing look, one he used when perps pissed him off, and the laughter ceased but the smiles remained. No one called him a liar as they all exited the room. John wheeled himself behind Kris and Joss as they walked up to the woman behind a desk to set up another appointment. John sighed when several nurses moved over to speak with him. Just great, now all he could think of was what Kris had said and he felt self-conscious.

* * *

"How did his appointment go detective?" Finch asked as he quietly drove to his safe house that Shaw and he had placed Mr. and Mrs. Bailey at. Fusco had gotten him as much useful information as he could on Erica Rossi's murder. Her husband, Phillip Rossi, was who Victor had claimed killed Erica before pinning the murder on him.

"John's recovering as well as the doctor expected. He's got a long road ahead of him which ticks him off, but all in all it's coming along."

"I was called by Isokinetics where I purchased all of John's physical therapy machines and other equipment. They want to deliver all the things to the apartment tomorrow." Joss nodded, she'd have to have Shaw, Fusco or Finch there to let them in. Taylor would be in school, she had to put in a full day at work one of these days or the captain was going to get suspicious.

"Can you or Shaw be there? I have to be at work tomorrow."

"We are still working on solving our latest case, but we'll work something out," Finch hurried to finish.

"Well if neither one of you can make it, I'll send Fusco to be there during the time they are going to deliver."

"No, its alright, we promised to help detective, and we will. I'm sure Ms. Shaw can handle the case while I'm with Mr. Reese waiting for his exercise equipment. We'll just remain in contact via phone."

"Thanks Finch," he could hear the slight smile in her voice.

"Oh, before I let you go detective, I have come up with a plan with Mr. Reese on forcing Terney to be turncoat."

"You have?" he could hear her surprise; surely she didn't think he was lying to her about helping her. Clearly they did have a long road ahead of them for her to trust in him again.

"Yes John and I spoke at length on Sunday, we devised a plan."

"Where was I during that time?"

"John said he was in his room, resting."

"HE WASN'T RESTING! I thought he was worn out after watching all that football and playing video games with Taylor, at least that's what he claimed. Oh wait till I get back home, that man was supposed to be resting, not trying to work." Finch smiled a little as he listened to the detective grumble and complain about John for a full minute. He pulled up to the curb at his safe location. He saw Shaw's car parked down the road. "I'm all ears, Finch," she sighed clearly exasperated with John.

"Of course, we should speak in person; I'll be there sometime after dinner, if that's alright with you detective?"

"It's fine Finch, come whenever you want. You should try to make it for dinner; John said he was going to cook something he learned while in Japan. He's having me pick up soy sauce, chicken stock, and scallions before I come back home after work. It's something called Oyakodon, its some chicken thing and it sounds delicious." Finch smiled. Mr. Reese was quite the cook, picking up techniques during his travels.

"How can I resist Mr. Reese's cooking? I'll be there."

"I have to work late so get there like eight o'clock."

"Alright detective, we'll speak of John and my plan for Terney when we arrive."

"Good, see you then." She hung up with him and Finch much better. He still felt an intense amount of guilt over Jocelyn's current situation with Elias and over John's torture. Finch would just have to right what happened, learn to move past it, and be there for them both now. He climbed out of his car, before limping towards the building complex. He made it to the safe house, knocking twice.

"Who is it?" Shaw's singsong voice filtered through the heavy oak door.

"It's Harold." The door unlocked and opened.

"Thank god, these two whiners are seriously giving me a headache." Shaw moved aside to allow him to enter. Finch saw Ada and Victor Bailey sitting together holding hands. Shaw enclosed them all together.

"A friend of ours that works in the police station gave us as much information as he could of the murder of Erica Rossi. The Trenton police were very excited to hear from him, but rest assured Detective Fusco won't take you in unless we prove you are the murderer." Finch was still unsure if what this man said was the true. He mostly believed him, this man didn't seem the killer type, but he wasn't willing to stake anyone's life on his hunch.

"I didn't do it."

"Well for your sake I hope you're telling the truth," Shaw answered.

"Detective Fusco gave us some information on Phillip Rossi, the husband. Is there anything you could add like why you chose their home to rob?" Finch asked sitting down at the table turning his laptop on.

"Me and a friend that I ran with were going to hit their house, my friend never showed up so I decided to do it myself. We knew they were loaded, figuring we could score some cash and jewelry."

"Is this 'friend' you ran with the same guy that got you the dead man's social?" Shaw asked, while Finch brought up Facebook.

"No though he knew Ritty too." Surely he hadn't heard right.

"Ritty?"

"Yeah the guy that got me Victor's social, his name is Ritchell we called him Ritty." Harold eyed Shaw with a look. Even the guy's name didn't sound trustworthy, since they got Victor Bailey's number and not Oliver Cavaugh's, and if this man's life was in danger over what happened in Trenton, then this Ritty man gave him up.

"It seems Mr. Phillip Rossi, since his wife's murder, has gained more public eye and is running for Trenton's mayor. He's using his wife's murder as a political campaign." Finch stated as he looked further into Phillip Rossi.

"Why would he want to murder his wife?" Shaw asked thinking aloud.

"Money perhaps?" Victor Bailey spoke up.

"Doesn't play, _Victor_, since he was loaded as you said before her untimely demise." Shaw snapped. "There has to be something we are missing."

"That's because we are. Erica Rossi filed for separation from Phillip Rossi that afternoon of the murder; he wasn't going to be served till the next morning." Finch sighed, pointing at the documentation he pulled up. "I suspect Erica was going to disappear from the home the next morning when he was being served."

"But Harold, that still doesn't make sense; if he didn't know she was filing for a separation, why would he kill her?"

"Maybe he did know," Ada spoke up. "I lived in Trenton my entire life, we knew about the Rossi family for a very long time. I know Phillip had a lot of friends in high places but Erica was the real bread winner. Their money was mostly hers."

"Did they have a prenup?"

"Not sure about that, but I do know that there were intense rumors flying that he had another woman on the side."

"Erica Rossi was an attorney as well. If she had proof he was cheating on her, surely the judge would side with her leaving Phillip Rossi without much."

"We have motive now." Finch stated triumphantly while Victor and Ada appeared a little less tense.

"Yeah, motive, but he would have been the prime suspect murdering her like that, it was just dumb luck that a criminal arrives to break in? Something's up with that, Victor, you said a friend of yours was supposed to be with you during the robbery, do you know why he never showed?"

"No, he just never showed up and I never saw him after that."

"What's his name?"

"Marvin Lester." Finch began typing away to find out anything he could on this Marvin Lester. "But Marv and I were friends since we were in grade school together."

"Money is thicker than friendships, Victor. You should know, being a thief and criminal yourself, don't be so naïve to think that your friend didn't sell you out."

"Your friend Marv is living a good life now, Mr. Bailey." Finch sighed, hacking his Facebook page. "He's married, has a Corvette, and a nice house."

"What?" Finch felt Mr. Bailey looking over his shoulder. Finch hacked into his bank records, pulling up all available history. "Well it seems Mr. Marvin Lester came into money approximately five years ago."

"That deposit of three million dollars in his bank account was the same day we were supposed to go rob the Rossi house." Victor Bailey pointed.

"Well there's our answer, he was paid to not show up but to get you there to be the fall guy. I guess your friendship didn't mean so much to him," Shaw snipped. Finch watched as Victor show Ms. Shaw a deadly look. Ms. Shaw had a wry sense of humor while Mr. Reese's was usually dry.

"Ms. Shaw, I need you to head to Trenton, Vermont to get eyes on Mr. Rossi. We need to prove that he was the one that really murdered his wife."

"What about you and the Bailey's, what if we get another person we need to save?"

"I'll contact the detectives if we need assistance." Shaw nodded. "Also see if you can find this," he paused wondering should he use the nickname or call him by the man's real name. "-this Ritty man, see if you can get him to talk. Mr. Lester will most assuredly blow you off."

"Yeah, but this Lester guy might get spooked into talking with Mr. Rossi, giving me some ammo on bringing this guy down. Plus, I always love roughing up the boys."

"Very true, just be careful Ms. Shaw." Finch stated. Shaw nodded.

"I'll be back quick enough so I can put John through the wringer," she assured him with a touch of a smile on her face as she walked to the door. Finch eyed the couple, wondering what to do with them once the threat was resolved. Oliver Cavaugh was a criminal with outstanding warrants for his arrest for several home invasions. He'd cross that bridge when he came to it he supposed; they first had to first save his life, then they'd figure out if he should be arrested for previous crimes.

* * *

"Lionel, you came to visit me," John said while he sat straighter on the couch, finally looking up at Joss and Lionel and away from the file on Beecher's death. "I'm touched."

"I was bribed here with talk of food. Carter says you are a chef or something. I had to find out if she's lying or telling me the truth." He noticed the bags of groceries he asked her to pick up for him for tonight's dinner, in her hands.

"I'm telling you Fusco, John's food makes your taste buds have orgasms." John eyed Joss, wishing she hadn't said it quite like that. It made him wonder things he had no right to, like what she looked like in the throes of passion. Would she cry his name or would she murmur sweet nothings in his ear, would she clasp him tightly inside her luscious body? It made him uncomfortable, his body still was healing, but that didn't mean it didn't want her.

He shifted, trying to calm his rising libido; he was in no shape to be with a woman for another several months. He just wished part of his body would cooperate. He pushed the manila folder down to hide what thinking of Joss naked, screaming, and writhing with pleasure did to him. Fusco sank into the sofa chair near his feet, while Joss walked into the kitchen. John's eyes slid to her ass as she bent a little inside the fridge putting some stuff away for later. He pulled his unblinking gaze away from the enticing view. Fusco was eyeing him with a smirk on his face and a knowingly raised eyebrow.

"Hey Fusco," Joss called out, which he was thankful for when Lionel's gaze was off of him. He didn't want to think Lionel had caught him staring at Joss's ass.

"What Carter?"

"You said something about a Detective Ryder Collins from in the 103rd precinct in Queens wanting to speak to me, did he say about what?" Joss asked as she moved over to where John and Lionel were. Her jacket showed off her small frame as she came and stood behind the couch, leaning her forearms against the top of it.

"No, he just requested to speak with you face to face. I told him you'd be in tomorrow all day."

"Yeah thanks." Joss said before seeing the folder in his lap. "That's Cal's file."

"Yes, I was looking through it again to see if I could find any discrepancies in his shooting. HR did a full proof job of making it look like a bust gone wrong."

"Yeah that's what I thought too; I looked for any witness but I got nothing." John looked up at her, hearing the pain in her voice. He wished he could do more for her but with him stuck off his feet, he couldn't scrounge up a lead for her. John reached out and trailed his fingertips down her arm earning a look from her.

"I'll find something to prove it was them, Joss."

"Thanks John." They shared a look before she broke the eye contact. Her eyes flickered to the fax machine in the back of the living room right before the hallway that lead to Taylor's room and the extra bathroom. "I see Fusco faxed it all to us." She moved away.

"Yeah I heard the fax going earlier."

"You were napping weren't you Mr. Happy? Those little happy pills put you asleep," Fusco laughed. John glared at Lionel before eyeing Joss who came with the copied photos of the crime scene they were working on. "Alright, put your sidelined ass to work Humpty, do you recognize that tattoo?" John paused in taking the papers from Joss with a look at Lionel.

"What did you call me?"

"Humpty Dumpty." John let out a small chuckle at the man before taking the papers from Joss. "April McGee gave good deets about that tattoo, it's probably on the bottom, I sent it first." John nodded shifting past the crime scene photos, the reports, and other things to get to the photo from the sketch artist. John's breath hitched as he stared at it.

"John, you okay? You've seen this before? I looked into all the street gangs that have tattoos, but none of them have this circular one. Who is it?" John didn't answer, couldn't; his mind had gone back to the time he was held; to the time where he saw these tattoos over and over again. Their faces weren't as discernible or remarkable, but these tattoos were. The faces were fuzzy since he had been dying there but he remembered those tattoos quite well. "John." He heard Joss's soft voice, felt her light touch bringing him back out of his internal hell. He blinked looked up at her, then at Lionel.

"I've seen these before."

"We got that John, who are they and why did it look like you saw a ghost when you saw these tats?" Lionel asked.

"I saw these tattoos on the men that tortured me for almost six months."

"These tattoos were on the men that tortured you?" Joss asked sitting on the coffee table in front of him. He saw concern in her eyes, shadows cross her beautiful face.

"I never saw them before that, the men that had me worked for that nameless and faceless man that I need to find before he finds Finch. The tattoos were on their necks, they must be new players in town."

"Do you think Elias might know who they are? If they are new players to the table, Elias could have some info on them. Maybe even have met with them without realizing you were nabbed by them."

"I'm not sure Joss, he could know. If he does, I need to speak with him." John felt his insides twist with the need for revenge. He was going to find the man that planned on hurting Finch and he was going to get some retribution for what they did to him.

"We'll talk with him first, then if he says anything of interest you can speak with him, John. So the men that killed Boyd Daniels and Maya Armstrong work for the guy that took you. Which means this man and his men are cutthroat as well as smart. They were close to pinning the murder on April McGee, except for the fact that she has a physical handicap that they hadn't foreseen. Maybe whoever this man is that took you, is looking to control New York; taking it away from the Russians and Elias," Joss said. John nodded, maybe, but why did he want Finch?

"Could be, maybe that's why they want four eyes?" Fusco threw out.

"Maybe, but it seems more personal than that. If they wanted to just get Finch to help them they wouldn't have held onto me for six months, torturing me for his whereabouts. I'm sure he would have killed me if it was just needing Finch's help on something and I wouldn't talk." John was deep in thought when he felt a light touch to his arm. He looked at Joss.

"We'll figure this out John, I promise no one is going to get Finch on our watch. I know that look, it's the look you get when you get determined to do something you shouldn't. You need to concentrate on getting better. I know this is hard for you having to sit back and let us do it, but trust in us enough to know we got Finch and your back."

"I trust you Joss, and you too Lionel. It wasn't ever about trust."

"I know but you can't do anything this time John, not until you're better. Whoever this is, they are worse than the Russians and Elias combined, even healthy, you need to be on your toes. We are raging a war against HR, the Russians, and now this new player that breezed into town without our knowledge." John nodded as Joss spoke. "We are going to get them all eventually; do you think this new player in town could be working with HR?"

"Possibly, though if they are butting heads with the Russians its doubtful," Fusco said as he leaned back. "The Russians and HR are tight, Russians are giving HR moolah while HR gives them free run."

"Maybe if we can take HR down, the Russians will be vulnerable."

"Maybe, but it could also help this new player in town get a foothold in the city." John sighed, wishing he had more answers than questions. He needed a name for this new group and he needed a face to the voice of the leader. If he could take away their mystery then maybe he could solve why they wanted Finch and what they planned to do with him.

* * *

"Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Mr. Greer." he smiled jovially as he took the elder man's hand with his.

"Yes, it's good to see you again, Mr. Kilpatrick. I'm always happy to speak with the man that finances certain endeavors we partake in." Greer entered his office; he smiled dismissively at his secretary Janet. The pretty young red head smiled at him before taking her leave.

"Yes, well I'm sure you know the reason I asked for this meeting, Mr. Greer." Kilpatrick poured them each a half glass of brandy.

"Yes of course. We've been having some trouble securing control of the machine; we are still tirelessly searching for its whereabouts. But you and I have a mutual person we need to find; he'll be able to aide our search for the machine much more."

"Yes, Harold Finch," he snapped before taking a seat at his desk.

"I know Mr. Kilpatrick, that your search for Mr. Finch is for far more personal reasons as to why you haven't been clear on nor would I expect to know. Did Mr. Reese help you find him? If he has, I need to speak with Mr. Finch before whatever plans you have for him take fold."

"See, that's where the issue arises, Mr. Greer; my men allowed Mr. Reese to escape."

"I told you to assign several men to watch him. I gave you all the intel on him that I received from the dearly departed Kara Stanton. Kara praised his skills in combat and weaponry."

"Yes, I assigned who I assumed were two of my best men to watch him. I didn't fully anticipate the man escaping his restraints; I should have had more guarding him directly and had armed guards watching the outside of the warehouse he was being held in. My error, it will not happen again."

"What about the tracking device you placed in Mr. Reese?"

"It was taken out and turned off. I need to know if you have additional information I could use to find him that will ultimately lead me to Harold?"

"I told you all that I knew of John Reese, Mr. Kilpatrick. But it seems he was working with another operative prior to your abduction of him. She was presumed dead; she used to work with the government."

"Who?"

"Her name is Samantha Shaw; she's as elusive as Mr. Reese and Mr. Finch. However, if I may give a word of advice, you should remain focused on searching for Reese; he's injured and vulnerable right now."

"Yes he is; I have my best man tracking down leads for him or Harold."

"Harold Finch will not be found; he doesn't exist in any database and not much is known about him. John appears to be unfailingly loyal to him. He wouldn't give up Harold's location during six months of torture."

"Yes, which begs the question, will torturing him again result in Harold's location?"

"He is highly trained, Mr. Kilpatrick. I presume your methods of torture will not work against a man like John Reese again, if they hadn't work previously."

"Which means I need to use John to my advantage in a much different way." Yes, not only would it help him find Harold, but it would also prove to be useful in gaining control from the Russians, Bulgarians, and Aryans. He was going to wipe them off the face of the earth, and New York would be _his _personal playground.

"What are you proposing?"

"Mr. Reese was worthless in my efforts of finding Harold's location alive, but maybe his _death _will prove to be much more useful to me." He slowly smiled without an ounce of warmth.

"You plan on murdering John Reese to draw out Harold Finch. It possibly could work if, in fact, they are loyal to one another. Surely Harold would expose himself to search for his operative's murderer. Yes, it could work, Mr. Kilpatrick." Greer smiled along with him. Even if it didn't, he wouldn't have Reese looking for retribution in his way. "However, Mr. Reese will prove to be a mighty challenge."

"Once my guy has found where John is hiding to recuperate, I'll send in some reinforcements with Ryder. John won't survive; I can guarantee you that Mr. Greer."

"Good! He was costly in my success in securing the machine previously, his death will make finding it that much easier, and with Mr. Harold Finch's help, we will control it."

"Yes, Mr. Greer, since you have been a gracious partner in this endeavor, I'll sit back idly and allow you to pick Harold's brain first. Once you're done, then I'll make him pay for what he has cost me." Mr. Greer smiled at him before they both lifted their glasses of brandy up.

"To our future endeavors." He nodded, smiling as their glasses clinked.

* * *

"John, this meal is delicious!" Joss sighed as she sat back after chowing down her plate full of food. Finch, Taylor, and Lionel echoed her sentiments as they each had the same contented looks on their faces which mirrored her own.

"Mr. Badass, your new name is Chef Badass." Joss smirked at John who shared a smile with her son. Joss flicked her gaze to her kid who was staring at John with a thoughtful look. Taylor loved hanging out with his friends, going to the movies, being a typical teenager. He seemed to have now forgotten all that since living with John. Taylor came home straight after school, pestered with John until dinner, then again after dinner, before leaving to go do his schoolwork. John never said a word but he always was teaching him things, what it was she never figured out they were always so quiet or she was away at work. John worked on the cases for her, probably before Taylor got back from school, because he monopolized John's time when he was home. Joss shifted her gaze between her son and John, wondering how attached he was getting to John. She was going to have to sit and have a lengthy conversation with her son about it.

John was looking better, not a lot, but better. He looked a little bit healthier as the days went on. His eyes weren't so pain filled or tired looking. His movements were slow still but it seemed like he was gaining more strength bit by bit. The doctor thought he'd soon be able to do light exercises to just strengthen his body, like simple leg lifts, some sit-ups, just enough to get John slowly back in shape. The physical therapy required for John to get full range of motion back in his leg and get his body in tip top shape again was still weeks away. But Dr. Stevens said he wouldn't know more until he saw him again this Thursday, but he was cautiously optimistic.

They all dispersed from the dining table, her son took leave to go do some studying, and the rest retired to the living room. Lionel sunk in the sofa chair eyeing John who remained in his wheelchair. Both Finch and her stood there staring at John.

"Get comfy John." She motioned to the couch.

"No."

"Yes."

"No, there's not enough room for everyone to sit. I'll be fine in the wheelchair."

"Get on the couch." She pointed and the man had the audacity to smile at her.

"No."

"You are irritating, you know that, John."

"Right back at you," he responded.

"Hey Carter, allow wonder boy some freedoms." Joss looked around the room, Finch shrugged his shoulders, and she gave in. She slowly lowered herself onto the couch before Finch followed beside her.

"Finch, before we speak about getting Terney to be our eyes and ears in HR, I need you to know something." Joss eyed the two friends sensing the underlining tension. John hadn't wanted to tell Finch about what they figured out earlier this afternoon. She and Fusco pointed out that it was in Finch's best interests to know to look out for men with circular tattoos and steer clear of them.

"What is it Mr. Reese?" but before John could speak, Fusco spoke up.

"Carter and I are working a case, a double homicide of a man and a woman that was made to look like a love-tri gone bad."

"Alright," he said and she heard the confusion in his voice.

"It was a setup and the girl gave us some good details on some tattoos they had on their necks. John recognized them," Joss said as she handed Finch the sketch of the tattoo before all eyes went to John. There it was again, shadows crossing his face, his vivid blue eyes darkened as he thought about the men that had those tattoos. Those men that nearly killed him, breaking his body. Joss felt rage tighten in her own body, wanting to get these bastards before anyone else was harmed. They weren't going to hurt Finch or John on her watch!

"Who were they, Mr. Reese?"

"The men with those tattoos at their crime scene are the same tattoos on the men that tortured me, Harold." It was like crickets in the room; everything went silent, no one spoke, no one breathed. Harold sat stiff; John stared as if searching for anything on Finch's features. Fusco and Joss just remained silent, watching their two friends. "We are thinking the man that had me grabbed, the one that's looking for you, is a new player in New York. He might want to control it; we are searching into if he has ties with any of the known players but especially Elias."

"Why Elias?"

"Elias is out for Russian and HR blood. He might be teaming up with this new group to start a bloody war. If not, we need to know if he knows anything about them." Joss said quietly and Finch nodded.

"I'll help."

"Finch, you need to stay hidden. The only reason they grabbed me was to torture information about you from me." Joss flinched just as much as Finch did. John spoke like he felt nothing, he spoke like what happened to him happened to someone else. Joss was worried about him. Her eyes strayed from Finch to John. John needed to get some of this out; he was hanging onto everything they did to him as if shielding them from his excruciating experience. She had been somewhat thankful and worried at the same time. She needed to put aside her feelings and get him to speak about it. Time was up, time to buck up and hear the agony he endured. She'd cry her eyes out when he was in bed and she was alone. The quiet was now deafening, it seemed that no one knew what to say so Fusco spoke up.

"About HR, you said we need to get Terney to work with us so we can help Carter. So what's the plan, Batman and Robin?" Fusco said, steering the conversation to the reason Finch had come by. Joss felt a wisp of a smile grace her face as both John and Finch looked at Fusco. She half wondered how John would look in that black rubber suit. Joss found herself uncomfortably thinking more and more about it.

"Well it seems Detective Terney is a bit softer than most of the other HR members. If we could use that to our advantage we can maybe get HR."

"How?" she demanded forcing her intimate thoughts of John to go away. Focus on what was at hand, her mind chided. Her eyes strayed to John once more.

"Well, the thing is, detectives, it relies on less than legal terms. It involves setting him up, then using him unwittingly to help us." Finch shifted, eyeing them with a sheepish expression on his face.

"I say let's do it, four eyes. They tried to burn my partner, let's get them." Finch and John both looked her way, as if waiting for her to give her answer before they went ahead with the plan.

"Lets do it." She didn't have many options left; John was struggling to find a clue for her. They figured out who the head of HR was, now they just needed to get him. "How?" Finch leaned forward.

"We need you to force pair with Terney's phone, keeping up with where he is and such. I will hack into his phone placing several text messages-" her cell phone rang interrupting Finch. He paused in speaking and she motioned for a minute before she picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Detective," her brows rose high realizing it was the captain.

"Hey cap, what's up?" she looked at her watch somewhat shocked at how late the captain was calling her.

"I know you got your hands full with the Daniels/Armstrong case, I also know you're off duty right now, but I got you and Fusco another case. This one takes precedence."

"What happened?"

"Detective Raymond Terney was just found murdered." Joss was stunned, but that was it. Not an ounce of sorrow came for this man.

"What happened?"

"Not sure, took a bullet in the back of the head-execution style. Strange thing is there are two extra dead bodies, both John Does, killed in the similar fashion; bodies are more decayed, they've been dead a while prior to Terney. Its reminiscent of those six dead bodies in that rundown mill." Joss's eyes flew to John's.

"You don't say."

"I'm placing you and Fusco on it."

"We'll be there, text me the address cap." She hung up, feeling her spirits low again. Their chance of using Terney just went out the window. "We can't use Terney to bring down HR anymore."

"Why not?"

"He was just murdered." Fusco's brows lifted high.

"Elias?"

"Could be, but doubtful. Strange thing is two extra dead bodies were there. Captain says all three of them were murdered execution style. He says its similar to the way the men that first nabbed John were killed." All eyes slowly flickered onto John as he cleared his throat.

"Two men with those tattoos had come into the mill, injecting me with a sedative, but before I lost consciousness I do recall gunfire. After that everything is a blank until I woke up in restraints on a table." John's brows furrowed. She nodded, knowing he wouldn't. "We'll find a different way of getting HR Joss, we will get Szymanski and Beecher the justice they deserve."

"I hope so. I really hope so, John. Come on Fusco, we were assigned the case; cap says it's to be our top priority."

"Yeah, sure, it'll be right up on my list right there with getting a colonoscopy," Fusco griped as he stood up. "He's garbage and doesn't deserve to be top priority. He tried to kill you Carter; then when he chickened out and helped HR try to blow your career to kingdom come."

"Captain doesn't know that; we have to play it up like we don't either Fusco. You think I want to do this anymore than you do?" She sighed, getting up to grab her jacket.

"Joss." she turned to look at John before she exited the apartment.

"What?"

"If Officer Simmons is there, force pair with his phone."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm assuming HR will want to figure out who killed Terney. They might make a mistake that we could use to bring them down." She smiled, maybe Terney's death might help them after all. She should feel bad for Terney, but she couldn't. He threatened her son.

"Anyone else you know of that's in HR?" she asked.

"Ask Lionel, he should know more of the players in HR. If you need any help…" she waved a hand at John, knowing he wanted to help her.

"Fusco and I'll be fine, you rest and get better; then you can be on your feet in no time," she assured him as she exited the apartment. Fusco was waiting for her. "If anyone from HR is present, force pair with their phone. We need to bring down HR and Terney's death might prove to be the way to do it."

He nodded, motioning with his hand. "Let's go Carter."

* * *

Author's note: Another long chapter hahahahahahahaha, Terney's dead I couldn't resist killing him, he's such a jerk I hate that guy! FYI next chapter, Joss and John talk about his torture :D

Thanks for reading, as always I appreciate it :)


	11. Chapter 10

Days had passed since their little pow-wow to take down HR only to learn that Terney was murdered; which was a professional hit, no witnesses, nothing. Officer Simmons had shown up, Fusco force paired with his phone for her. Finch had shown up at the apartment to help receive the exercise equipment the following day while she searched for clues for Terney's murder and for the Daniels/Armstrong case. She had called and asked Detective Collins from Queens to reschedule; she had a top priority case to solve and he agreed.

Thursday came and went with John finally getting the green light on subtle exercises. He gained another five pounds in two days, gaining weight quickly since he wasn't being starved. John was to remain on his high nutrient and protein diet but she did make sure he had sweets that would help fatten him up. John had hit the 150 pound mark quicker than the doctor expected which pleased him. Now John only another twenty five pounds to go. Joss shook her head; women would give anything to have to gain weight instead of losing it! He had also been given good news: the casts on his wrists were going to come off a bit earlier than expected since the fractures were mending perfectly. John hadn't seemed as ecstatic as she had been. She knew he wanted the doctor to give him more good news then just that, but to her it was a step in the right direction. His breaks weren't as bad as first anticipated, he was going to get the casts off just after the new year, and she, for one, thought it was fantastic.

But getting John back to a healthy weight and getting the casts off his wrists were not his biggest obstacle in getting him back to doing his purpose. It was his knee and getting just in shape again after months of starvation, dehydration, and torture. John's body was probably only sixty percent better, he still had a long way to go. He was going to be upset to learn he wasn't going to be able to force his body to get moving quicker, it was going to be hard on him. But he had to allow his surgically repaired knee time to heal, and therapy to get it back to working condition if he _EVER_ wanted to get back to his purpose again.

Joss eyed John as he sat on the couch from her seat on the sofa chair looking through Terney's case file. Taylor was glad it was Friday today, thankful for the weekend and his Christmas party with friends tomorrow. She couldn't believe how fast the holiday was approaching; it was a little over a week away. He said he was going to be late today because of doing some Christmas shopping. Taylor raked in a lot of cash since he tutored a lot of kids; the parents loved him and gave him tips. She was proud of her son, he was intelligent and he didn't put anyone down, he took the time to teach others and it showed with the amount of praise she received about him from parents of kids he tutored. She was sure her son was going to be a teacher or professor of some kind, he had a knack for it. She already knew what her son was going to get her for Christmas, that damned sweater she made a mistake of saying she wanted but couldn't get. It was too expensive. But she had seen his eyes light up when she walked away sulking. Taylor had some friends he wanted to purchase for, but what shocked her was his asking her what he should get John. She suggested something small since John was going to be embarrassed that he couldn't reciprocate. She didn't think Taylor heard her because his face lit up when he claimed he had thought of something.

Joss didn't want to say she had gotten John something too. It was nothing too big, but surely John was going to be upset with her as it was. But it just reminded her of him and she couldn't resist purchasing it for him. Joss eyed the man quietly as he looked through all the crime scenes photos for her. He appeared engrossed in them, trying to help her figure out what the hell was going on. Things were getting worse and worse. The Russians and HR were searching for the new people that killed Terney, and then they had Elias on the loose. The new player in town was ruthless. John had tentatively identified the two John Does that were found with Terney. They had been dead a few days prior to being discovered and were the same men he had escaped from. However he couldn't be one hundred percent sure if he recognized the men or not, since they were decaying from being dead for about two weeks. He hadn't said much more than that about it, quiet about everything, and Joss now needed to know.

It appeared everything was interconnected somehow and she couldn't figure it out. This new player in town had men with circular tattoos on their necks, running around killing people. They killed Boyd Daniels and Maya Armstrong for what appeared to be no apparent reason or at least they hadn't scrounged up a lead as to why yet. Terney in HR was murdered and John had been taken, tortured for six months. There had to be a connection, right? Or was this new player just randomly killing people while searching for Harold? Either way, if it was all connected or random, they needed to find him and stop him. The streets of New York wouldn't be safe till they did. Joss eyed John again. He had intimate knowledge of this group; he suffered at their hands and maybe even unwittingly held the key to figuring them out. Asking him about his torture, seeking these answers was going to hurt. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what he suffered through. Joss wasn't even sure he'd tell her.

She put aside the case files on her lap before standing up making her way into the kitchen. Joss grabbed a bottled water, dragging in some mentally preparing herself for this. She couldn't show too much emotion while he spoke of it; surely he'd clam up on her if she did. Joss let out a breath, feeling determined as she walked back over to him. She stood near his feet; staring down at him until he looked up from the photos.

"What's on your mind, Joss?"

"We need to talk about it."

"About what?" His eyes lowered back down onto the paperwork in his lap, she should have known he was going to feign ignorance. But she wasn't going to let it go now; she was determined to hear it they were going to talk about what happened.

"You know what, John. You think this is easy for me? I know what they did to you is painful to speak about and I wish I didn't have to ask. I know you are trying to deal with it your way, but maybe you hold the key of figuring them out." John kept his expression down, not looking at her.

"You really want to know the particulars of what I went through?" Joss eyed him as he lay on the couch. His leg in the brace was closest to the back of the couch, so she moved to be closer to him. She sat next to his right hip, on the edge of the couch next to him. John was propped up against the pillows, lounging carefully but leisurely. His hands that were still in his casts to mend his broken wrists were on his stomach, as his expressive blue eyes finally lifted and bore in hers. He didn't want to tell her the details of what happened to him; clearly it wasn't something he wanted to reveal to her or anyone. "You know what they did to me, Joss," his soft spoken words clawed at her exposed heart. She did know most of what was _physically_ done to him, though she was sure there was more she couldn't even imagine.

"Tell me what they said while they tried to break you, tell me everything that you can, John. Anything that could help point us in the right direction of who did this to you, to who these people are." John just quietly stared at her for several minutes, she wasn't sure if he was even going to tell her anything. John's hell was what he believed to be his alone. He obviously didn't want to share with anyone what exactly he suffered through, but after a few moments more, when she was about to try a different tactic, he spoke.

"During the moments when they weren't inflicting as much pain as they could to get me to talk, they would try coercing the information out of me. They tried to say they'd let me go if I told them where Finch was."

"Did they say why they wanted him?"

"No, but it's clearly not to just catch up on old times Joss, you know that. They want to find Finch to harm him, and then kill him. I wasn't about to let them get their hands on him."

"You never saw any of their faces?" John knew about a few men and the tattoos, but she needed to be sure that was it. Maybe somewhere in his subconscious was a memory he didn't know he even had.

"Not the one that matters, I saw my interrogators, they enjoyed showing me their faces; their tattoos were the most remarkable thing about them. This mysterious group is large, I had several different guys during the months I was there, but I believe the two men that were found dead beside Terney were the ones guarding my door. Those two men were killed the same way the men that tasered me did. They were the ones who always restrained me back down after their techniques didn't work; they watched my door all the time." She gulped in a breath trying to calm herself.

"So you think they were killed for letting you escape?"

"Yes. It makes sense, if this guy is as ruthless as he appears; no excuse would be good enough for allowing a man, half dead to escape." Even if the man was a man like John Reese.

"Do you know where you were held, John?"

"Not really sure, I only remember being in one certain room, but my focus wasn't on it." His voice grew dark as he remembered exactly what happened to him in that room. Joss noted his respirations had increased and she could see small beads of sweat appearing above his lips. She felt tears sting at the back of her eyes, knowing whatever it he was remembering had nearly killed him. So she took several breaths, calming herself down before steering the conversation away from what was causing those shadows on his face.

"Okay I found you on Sand Creek Road; do you even know how you got there? Was it close by from where you escaped; anything, John, that could help point us in the right direction to where they had you?" She prayed he had remembered something that could help. He closed his eyes as if trying to recall it.

"It's a blur, Joss; I vaguely remember escaping, I fought as hard as I could, knowing it was my only shot to get out alive. If I didn't get out then I wouldn't get another chance. I remember concentrating on moving, dragging my leg, focusing on getting away. I was afraid if I stopped moving it would be a dream, and I'd be back in there." Joss wanted to touch him, to reconnect him to this world, the one where he was safe, where no one was going to ever touch him again. She'd die before she let someone get their hands on him again. He wouldn't appreciate her protection, surely he'd say he wasn't worth dying over but that was a matter of opinion. And to her he was worth saving, she cared deeply for this man, even if he didn't think he should be cared for. He continued, "I don't know where I was walking to, I don't even know where I walked from." John sounded upset that he couldn't remember and Joss wished she could help him, tell him he shouldn't be, he'd been close to death, he wasn't even sure he had gotten out. She and Fusco had already searched the surrounding area of Colonie, New York; most of it was houses and businesses without any luck. John could have been held anywhere in the vicinity.

"Okay you remember escaping, which at the time you weren't sure was real or not; but can you tell me how, if you can remember?"

"I was restrained to a bolted down steel table. I didn't know how bad off I was, Joss. Their boss never came by that day, which was unusual. I think I was held in an old warehouse," he paused and she felt a glimmer of hope. That was a minor memory of where he was located that they could latch onto. She was going to get Fusco to look into all old warehouses in the area of Colonie New York. "The room I was kept in was big, old machinery like forklifts and empty tall steel shelves littered the room in the back. They hadn't tied my restraints as tight as they should have. I yanked on them hard until I could slip my hands through the small gap." With two broken wrists she could imagine the pain he had endured struggling to free himself; unless he broke his wrists while getting out of the restraints. But she didn't ask, worried if she broke his concentration he would stop speaking.

"It was hard to move Joss; they'd done a lot of damage to my leg, I was very weak from lack of food and water but I forced myself to go on." Joss hoped she kept a good poker face. Hearing the little details of even his escape sounded gut wrenching and he was speaking like it happened to someone else. "I hid behind the door, waiting for them; I don't know how long I waited. I don't even know how I took them both down, it gets real fuzzy in those moments." Joss reached out, touching his forearm, unable to resist touching him. His eyes opened, and were on hers. It was like he had forgotten she was there as he talked.

"It's okay, you got out, then what?"

"I stumbled out, remembering seeing the softening light of the outside for the first time in, I don't know...a long time...and I just staggered. I don't know anything else," his voice was rough with anger at himself because he couldn't seem to remember. But John's body had been shutting down during that time, he was lucky he remembered anything at all from that day.

"Do you remember me finding you?"

"It's like a dream, Joss, you remember bits and pieces, I wasn't even sure you were real." That she knew because of how he reacted when she found him. She searched his face, wondering how he survived. So she decided to ask him.

"How did you make it through six months of that hell, John?" Something flashed in his eyes as he stared at her. Joss leaned towards him.

"You just do," he looked away, she reached out touching his cheek softly pressing on it till she forced him to look at her.

"Tell me," she commanded, still lightly caressing his cheek. It was so soft to the touch, warm, and inviting. John's face was fuller and healthier with the weight gain, rather than gaunt and sunken in, thankfully. Zoe's words rang in her head no matter how hard she tried to dismiss them; they always came back to her. What if what Zoe said was true, that John was hers even if she didn't want him. Oh, but Joss wanted him. His eyes on hers, his soft pink lips were slightly parted, she wondered what they tasted like? Would they taste like mint from his toothpaste or would the residual coffee taste he loved to drink linger?

"You," it was a mere whisper, his lips barely moved as she was mesmerized by them, but she pulled herself back. Her trance gone as his whisper penetrated her thick haze. She blinked a little, unsure if he really said that.

"What?"

"You, Joss, I got through it by focusing on you," he said just as quietly as before, like it was a secret he wished never to speak of.

"What do you mean by focusing on me?"

"When I was in the CIA, when enemies caught me and tortured me, I always allowed my mind to focus on something else while I waited for Kara or another agent to rescue me. I was never held for much longer than a day or so, because Kara would know who had me, the cavalry would arrive. But while they tortured me for information, my mind drifted to Jessica, on what she was doing, how she was, wondering if she thought of me, and what I'd do if I ever saw her again. This time my mind drifted to you, Joss." His eyes were very much on hers still as he turned her inside out. "I thought about what you were doing, how you were dealing with Cal and Szymanski's deaths, how you needed my help and how I hoped you'd forgive me for not being there for you." Joss sucked in a breath, blinking hard to stop the urge to cry. "I thought about how you piss me off at times, then make me smile or laugh, I thought about Taylor and how he was doing. That sort of thing, Joss. My mind drifted to you, I didn't pay attention to the pain as much." Joss just stared at him.

"J-John." she stumbled as her voice hitched ever so slightly. Joss felt a force pulling her towards him, it was strong she had no way to fight nor did she even want to. Joss found her mouth inches from his, her hand that had been on his cheek curled by his neck pulling him towards her till their lips touched. Joss sat motionless as his lips were under hers. John's gasp of surprise was the only sound besides her pounding heart that she could hear. Her other hand slid up his chest her fingers clutching the soft cotton fabric by his rapidly beating heart. She slid that hand up, cupping his stubble roughened jaw before she slowly drew on his lips softly. God, his lips were even softer than they appeared. John's surprise melted away and kissed her back. Joss shifted closer to him, pressing him into the couch as she drew back just an inch, their eyes connecting before going back in for another taste. Her soft kiss, deepened as his participation grew.

John was a fantastic kisser, another thing he was extraordinary at. Joss sighed into the kiss, loving that he was giving her the ability to be in control of the kiss. He was a willing participant and allowing her full reign. As they continued to kiss, the more the soft tender kissing wasn't enough. She wanted-no-needed more. She scooted closer to him, forgetting about his hurt back pressing him into the couch. Joss slowly drove her lips onto his, parting her lips wide, tracing the tip of her tongue against his upper lip earning a soft moan. Joss felt that moan echo inside her, his mouth opened for her and she took his offering. Joss slid her tongue deep into his mouth without reservation, reveling in the treasures she found there. John's tongue was just as soft as his lips, maybe even more so. Joss explored every wonderful inch of his warm mouth, she always loved seeking new experiences. Joss leaned more into him, wanting to be even closer to him, her hands gently held his cheeks. She felt his fingertips on her elbows, realizing John's mouth tasted a mixture of mint, coffee, and an unique taste that was all John. It was intoxicating. John was slowly becoming the aggressor, taking control of the kiss, and she was glad to hand it over, just this once. Joss sighed.

"What's going on?" Joss quickly pushed out of the kiss, her hand going to her mouth, eyeing John before shifting them to her son who had come in. She hadn't even heard him, her mind had been on much more pleasant things-John and his kisses! Taylor looked downright gleeful at seeing them. His book bag was on his back, his jacket still on, and their door to the apartment open. Joss shifted her eyes to John who looked slightly stunned. His mouth was glistening from hers, his lips softly parted in his surprise, making her want to delve right back in. Joss licked her own lips before looking away and standing up. God, she was pathetic; she crossed her arms across her chest, trying to hide the arousal for John; between her legs felt warm and damp from one hot kiss. She looked down, happy she wasn't the only one who had problems; John was shifting the paperwork on his lap as discreetly as possible.

"This, Taylor," she paused a moment, motioning between herself and John before continuing, "isn't what it looks like and isn't any of your business," she deadpanned. She was going to play her trump card; she was an adult, his mother, and she wasn't going to answer any of his questions.

"Because, what, I'm your son?" Damn, he was quick; she felt proud and slightly irritated.

"I don't have to answer this, neither does John; we are both adults, Taylor."

"Hey, I for one am happy," he grinned. John looked on at them without saying a word. His eyes however never made it to her face. "You and John want to make out, that's fine by me." Joss sucked in a breath, willing for patience.

"John and I weren't making out."

"Mom, I was watching you two go at it for a good full minute before I said anything; you were making out." He laughed, flopping onto the sofa chair still with his book bag with him. "Not saying I enjoy watching my mom make out with any guy, but if you want to make out with a guy John's a good choice." Joss narrowed her eyes on her son. He had made that comment to Zoe, now here he was, glad they were making out. Her kid was overprotective, this wasn't how she figured he'd react if he ever saw her with a man. She shifted her eyes to John, who has yet to say anything, before looking back to her son. Her kid had liked John way back when he saved his life. Taylor had always asked about John, but she had tried to keep from talking too much about Mr. Badass. As they lived here, Taylor grown more and more attached to John. It seemed to her like her son was hoping something would happen between them.

"Taylor, can I speak with you in the kitchen?"

"Sure thing mom, need anything, John?"

"Ah, no thank you, Taylor," John answered gruffly. Taylor nodded with a smile. He stood up and followed her into the kitchen after she stopped to shut the door he had left open. Joss eyed John who was still sitting on the couch, looking lost, or was it confused, or maybe even a little smug, that wasn't a smirk she glimpsed as she turned back to Taylor was it? Joss motioned for Taylor to stand next to her in the corner of the kitchen so they could talk quietly.

"I don't know what you are hoping happens, honey, but John and I are friends."

"Mom, you don't kiss friends like that." Taylor pointed to John while quietly whispering back to her.

"John shared something personal with me and it just happened. You're young, but sometimes kisses happen that won't amount to anything with that person. John and I are still very much just friends." She wasn't going to tell Taylor that the kiss had left her wanting more. That was a discussion she sure the hell didn't want to have with her kid.

"So you're saying you don't like John that way at all?" Her son eyed her, all knowing, and she sighed. He was a perceptive little know it all. She eyed where John sat before looking back into her kid's sharp eyes.

"I won't lie, I have feelings for him, BUT that doesn't mean anything, Taylor," she kept her voice low, making sure John wouldn't hear. "Our relationship is our business, if we want to make it more we will, not because you want it, okay?" she said sternly.

"Okay." Taylor nodded. She nodded back at him. Taylor walked out of the kitchen while she yanked open the fridge, hoping like hell it would calm her racing pulse and overheated skin. That kiss had left her seared inside and wanting to experience it again and again-maybe even something more.

* * *

"I'm tired of waiting, this better work Finch or I'm going to do it my way," Shaw sighed, eyeing Mr. Marvin Lester through binoculars.

"Yes well, Ms. Shaw, once you have the information we need to send Mr. Phillip Rossi to prison, we can help the detectives figure out who is this new power player." Shaw was itching to get back to help with that. The detectives, Finch, and John had all figured out that whoever had John appeared to be running amuck on the New York streets. That's where the real action was; and here she was waiting for this waste of skin to admit to a fellow waste of skin that he killed his wife. Shaw had gone to speak to Lester, to rattle his cage in hopes he would go blabbing to Rossi. It had taken him two days to call up Rossi to speak with him. She was running low on patience, she had very little to begin with. Lester had just left for Rossi's place and she followed. She force paired with his phone, record their conversation, and hoped like hell that Rossi would be dumb enough to admit to killing his wife while she recorded their conversation. Shaw was a pessimist but Finch wanted to try this way first, her way was a lot quicker, put her gun to his head and force the man to confess. Simple. Shaw sighed as she watched through binoculars as finally the door to the Rossi home opened. She rolled her eyes; this guy looked like the type who would kill his wife and pin it on a criminal.

"What is this about, Lester; I told you to never speak with me ever again?"

"Yeah well, as I said, Rossi, its important."

"Look, Ritty gave me Oliver's fake name which I gave to some bounty hunters. I'll pay double too if they kill him, is that what it is you want? More money for setting your friend up? Well I'm not paying."

"No listen, some hot woman came around saying she knew about you paying me off to set up Oliver." Shaw leaned in, her hand twitching to grab her pistol.

"Not possible."

"It is possible, she knew how much you gave me and everything! You didn't blab to her while sticking it to her did you, Rossi?" Shaw's lips thinned, she wanted to shoot the man for even thinking she'd sleep with that guy.

"Ms. Shaw, relax." Finch's voice reminded her as if he could read her mind right now. Shaw prayed the man wouldn't give himself up because she really wished to do it her way now. Her mind focused on the two men again.

"No, maybe that unreliable Ritty did. I should've known better than hinge my entire plan on two stupid criminals."

"Hey you needed us to off your wife remember?"

"Yeah well, pinning her murder on a criminal works except for when that criminal gets away! Now he's a loose end that needs to be taken care of, especially before I take office."

"Why, its not like anyone would listen to Oliver that you really killed your wife, Rossi?!"

"Yes, but it would still be a scandal and if the right people look into it they'll figure out I really murdered her and not the criminal that just so happened to come try to break in." Shaw smirked. These two were dumber than rocks. Shaw recorded more and more of their conversation, making sure she had more than enough evidence to send this guy away. Shaw listened to her recording, happily listening to the confession. Now she had to get this anonymously to Trenton police.

"I got it, Finch."

"He confessed?"

"Yes, I'm sending it you, can you be a wonderful fake hubby to send it to the Trenton police for me dear." she said as she sent the recording to Harold's phone.

"What are you going to do Ms. Shaw?"

"You don't want to know," she grinned her hand poised on the door handle, her other hand going for her pistol.

"Ms. Shaw, I know you, so I please ask of you to just leave and come back to New York. You are much more needed here, they will pay in their own way, besides I don't have time to bail you out of jail, Ms. Shaw."

"You're no fun you know that Finch."

"Ms. Shaw," his voice was stern. She sighed when had she become so aligned with Harold and John, where she actually listened to them? Sam remembered when she had helped them here and there, doing things her way, it must of been when John disappeared. She found a haven with Finch, slowly trusting in him and John.

"Yeah, you know you are lucky I like you Harold." she said after a yawn while she revved the engine to life before pulling away from the house. "Once they are in custody the bounties on Oliver Cavaugh's head should be dissolved, then Victor and Ada Bailey can get the hell out of our hair."

"What shall we do after the threat to them is gone, Ms. Shaw?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's still a criminal he has outstanding warrants for home invasions."

"It's up to you, Finch; I could care less either way."

"Yes, well I believe he suffered enough Ms. Shaw; it appears he has made a better life for himself with Ada."

"So you're going to let him get away with home invasions?"

"On a stipulation that if I hear of him going back to his criminal past I will give him up in a heartbeat." She smiled, sure that Finch would be able to gain such info.

"Yeah well, I'll be back in town tomorrow and then we can concentrate on getting these bastards that are after you."

"Yes, well I appreciate it and look forward to you coming home, Ms. Shaw."

"Lonely, eh, you need your wifey." Sam heard a soft chuckle escape him, she felt a reflective smile on her face, and she hurried to get back to New York.

* * *

"Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Kilpatrick." Elias lowered himself while Anthony Marconi stood by his side. Elias waited until the man with graying dark hair lifted a hand to dismiss his men. When they took their leave, he nodded his head at Marconi who took his leave himself.

"Yes Mr. Carl Elias, I'm assuming your wish to meet with me is over your battle with HR and the Russians? I know quite a bit about you."

"Well you know more than I do, Mr. Kilpatrick. But yes, they killed my men I want to retaliate. But you're new in town that I've never heard of before." Elias lifted his sharp intelligent gaze off the man in front of him to the small bar they were sitting in, owned by Isaac Kilpatrick. "I was seeing if maybe we had mutual goals in mind."

"We do, I wish to own this state. To do so I need to cut the Russians down to size by chopping the head off of HR, their backing."

"Maybe we can help one another Mr. Kilpatrick."

"How so?"

"I wish for the Russians and HR to pay for killing my men, you wish to control this state."

"Isn't that what you had originally wished for Elias?" he asked as he sipped his scotch.

"Yes, but now my need for revenge is greater than my need for control. So I propose a business merging, maybe we can help one another."

"Depends, Elias what can you tell me about the man in the suit?" Elias kept his expression blank, but wondered what John had to do with this man?

"He's a pain in the ass. He stopped several of my deals from going through and ultimately he caused me to go to prison."

"So, no more than anyone else."

"I'm sorry not be more of an assistance."

"How about this Detective Carter? One of my men has made a link with her and the man in the suit; do you know anything about her?"

"She a homicide detective who plays it by the rules, Mr. Kilpatrick; the man in the suit has a thing for her." he spoke slowly. This Kilpatrick man straightened with an intent look on his face.

"How do you know?"

"When HR and I were business partners I had them try to off her, make it look like an accident, but the man in the suit objected. He had HR run it up to me that if anyone touched her they would be put in the ground, so I let him have his little pet. I didn't wish to have some vigilante causing me problems." Elias smiled thinking back to that moment. He should have used the detective to neutralize John but instead he heeded his warning because he liked John.

"I see," Kirkpatrick smiled thoughtfully. "Do you believe if we use this little detective he's protective of, would he show his face?"

"Mr. Kilpatrick, may I ask why it is so important for you to come face to face with this man in the suit? He's a vigilante that will cause you problems, its best to keep him out of your way."

"It doesn't concern you why I am searching for the man in the suit, Mr. Elias. But if you're willing to help me dismantle the Russians and HR, I think a business merger between us would be beneficial to both of us." Elias smiled as he held out his hand for a shake.

"Then you have yourself a deal, Mr. Kilpatrick." The man smiled and took it his hand and shook it.

* * *

Author's note: So much goodness Careese kissing, Shinch(thank you to my guest reviewer for calling them that hahahahahaha) talking and even some teasing. Uh-oh Elias and Kilpatrick are talkin now, and Elias gave him some useful info against John and Joss :(

Next chapter:some-uh-frustrations come to light, and baddies are back :D

Thank you to everyone that's reading this, I'm trying to post quicker, I have come to realize I'm a turtle at posting my stories(thanks Gretchen hahahahahahahahaha). Ooh, I am about finished with my next installment of the Moments series which is light, fluffy, slightly sexy, and dare I say romantic which I will be sending to my friend Elaine to read over for me, so that's coming along everyone will be learning the sex of the child, I was a bit shocked I had to recount the votes twice, then I had my mom count it just to make sure I got everyone, and make sure they matched up which they did! I hope you'll enjoy it!


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's note: there is more language in this chapter, just a heads up :D**

* * *

John angrily laid staring up at the ceiling, his body was taut with desire for Joss. That damned kiss they shared preyed on his mind, now it refused to let him get to sleep. Though he should be grateful it was the kiss that preyed on his mind rather than the nightmares that frequently plagued him. He had taken his pain medication which usually zonked him out, but it wasn't working tonight. His mind and body were too focused on her. She probably was out in the living room sleeping away like sleeping beauty while he had a hard on. John needed to shut his body off, he was in no way capable of doing anything about the sexual frustration he currently was under. Short of taking matters into his own hands, which wasn't something he was going to do unless the frustration became unbearable. He was a man after all; but taking matters into his own hands wasn't all that gratifying, other then the physical release. Besides his broken wrists, though healing, left him no choice but to ignore his need for relief.

John wasn't new to kissing, he had kissed lots of girls, especially when he was in high school. Girls chased him in high school and he had found it fun and egotistically exhilarating at the tender age of sixteen. The older he got didn't deter women from chasing after him, and he had done some chasing of his own. But kissing wasn't high on his list of things to do since he had a death certificate. No, what ranged on his 'to do' list was kneecap as many bad guys as possible while not getting shot himself.

Even though kissing Joss wasn't on his list, he wasn't sorry it happened. She was a damned good kisser, she surprised him leaning in with those soft, full, tempting lips of hers sipping at his. He allowed her to control it because he had been afraid if he had, he would have devoured her delectable mouth. Joss had seduced his mouth however, she systematically sent his damaged body into overdrive. Then Taylor had found them; nothing worse than being caught red-handed by her son. John closed his eyes remembering feeling like a bucket of ice cold water had been poured on him the moment Taylor asked what was happening.

Taylor seemed to be hoping they would get together. John didn't have it to tell the kid that he wasn't destined to be with anyone. His destiny was to be alone. Joss should find a great guy that could offer her things that Beecher would have. Home, happiness, and stability, which he couldn't offer. Home maybe, happiness not so much, but he was reliable when it came to being there in a crisis. But being around the home when she need him, he wouldn't, he couldn't. Not when his purpose of saving lives would come first, he didn't know how to do anything else anymore. He had fallen for only one woman in his entire life and that had been Jessica. He had fallen in love with her so easily, even though in the back of his head he had known it wouldn't work. She hadn't been cut out for the life he lived and he didn't know how to be anything else besides a soldier. Yet he still tried to be someone he wasn't; it failed, he screwed up terribly and in the end he lost her.

Then the CIA came knocking and he saw her with that engagement ring on her finger at the airport. She desperately wanted him to ask her to wait for him, but he didn't. He hadn't wanted to ask her to wait for him because she deserved better. In his own stupidity he had thought it was Peter; in the end Peter had been the one to kill the only woman he had ever loved. Guilt over her death had nearly eaten him alive. Now he felt better, more at peace and he was slowly moving on. But not in a million years would he say he would ever move on to another woman. Joss had asked him months prior to his kidnapping if he would move on. He had. He moved on, for the most part, past Jessica's death. But to place his heart on the line again? No, he couldn't. He was still learning how to love himself again, how could he figure out how to love someone else? Finding a bed partner was simple, easy, and satisfying. He got release, the woman did too and _she_ knew the score, but it was over after one night. No attachments.

He had been content with Joss's friendship; he had always found her attractive, but he valued her mind as well as her beautiful body. He couldn't do anything about what he felt for her, surely it would mess things up for them. John wasn't willing to lose Joss, she meant too much for him to screw up their relationship. Which was why he stayed away from her after Rikers and Kara. She had done far too much for him; he was worried about what harm it might do to her career. She risked too much for him, so he tried to avoid her, but it hadn't worked. He missed her and she had been the one to reach out to him. After that, their easy friendship came back; he locked the feelings he had for her away again, then all hell broke loose and he had been grabbed.

Now things were extremely awkward between them as they both refused to acknowledge that the kiss happened, inciting more tension rather than relieved it. Her eyes had shifted to his mouth or he found his on her lips, or they'd accidentally brush against one another. For such a good sized apartment they sure ran into each other a lot. It was as if their senses were on high alert and their sexual attraction blazed rampant between them all because of one kiss. Their attraction to one another had been easier to ignore when they hadn't known the wonders of what one simple kiss could do. John sighed as he tried to get comfortable again, blaming it on his hurt back, body, and leg. John stiffened when he heard a soft knock at his door.

"John," her soft whisper filled his room, making his erection jerk at her throaty whisper.

"What?" he tried to keep the gruffness out of his voice, but she was killing him.

"Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"I keep hearing you roll around, are you in a lot of pain?" Pain, not really, in need of sexual relief, yes.

"No, I'm alright," he answered, but the door to his room fully opened and she appeared in the doorway. Her silhouette was highlighted by the moonlight flickering through the window in the bedroom. She was wearing short pajama shorts and a t-shirt. She flipped the light switch on and he was grateful he had the comforter on his body to hide his reaction to her and his damned thinking of that kiss. John nearly moaned as he eyed her small form in the tiny black shorts and navy blue shirt with light blue lettering on her breasts that read 'Cutie'. This shirt should say 'Beautiful,' then maybe it could try describe Jocelyn Carter, he thought. She moved closer.

"John, can we talk, because if we don't I'm not going to get any sleep either?" she sighed. He struggled to sit up on the bed, and he held his arm out to stop her from helping. He was going to do it himself.

"What's up Joss?" he cringed at his own bad choice of wording trying to desperately ignore someone else who was 'up' and in need of Joss.

"I can't stop thinking about that kiss." She tugged her lower lip between her teeth and he silently wondered if she had any idea what that did to him? She sat down beside him on the bed. "I just don't want what happened after your old partner strapped the bomb to your chest to happen again. I don't want us to avoid one another."

"Joss, I'm sorry for that; it wasn't anything you did, you have to know that. It was me, I needed time and space to think; you put your life and your career on the line for me."

"I wouldn't change it."

"Joss, I just never wanted you to ever have to cross that sort of line for me; yet you did just that without a second thought to what the repercussions were to you. It was never anything that you did, I just didn't know how to process what happened." If she could be honest so could he. She nodded.

"I understand. It wasn't like I went out of my way to call you either; I missed you a lot during our vow of silence." She smiled softly. "John, I think we are both adult enough to talk about what happened this afternoon." He nodded softly.

"We kissed, Joss."

"Yeah, we did. But that kiss wasn't exactly friendly, it wasn't a peck on the lips or cheek, it was 'I want you now' type kiss."

John felt a smile tug on his lips as her cheeks heated up, he couldn't resist teasing her a bit. "Jocelyn Carter is blushing,"

"Its just warm in here." She stole his line from his doctor's appointment earlier that week. He snorted with laughter. "In all seriousness John, what are we?" She looked perplexed for a moment. "I can't say we are just friends because my feelings aren't strictly platonic anymore. Maybe they never were."

"I don't know," he sighed; it was much too late at night to figure out what the hell they were. It wasn't like anything would happen between them, they were friends and co-workers. But it didn't mean he didn't share a mutual attraction to her. His body definitely wanted hers, but Joss wasn't a woman into a casual relationship, which was all he could offer. "We're friends, but attracted to one another, so what is that, friends-with-benefits?" He'd heard the phrase multiple times though he never thought he would ever use it in his lifetime. His eyes lifted to hers, he saw a smile twitch on her lips.

"John, you need to get with this century. 'Friends-with-benefits' means we are friends who have sex from time to time without a relationship."

"Oh." He wished he'd known that before he'd spoken.

"Although that's not entirely out of the question," she said, just to see his reaction. He felt his eyebrows rise at that in surprise and she chuckled at his look. "What? I'm a grown woman, John. I have needs and wants too, you know."

"But-Joss you are breaking my illusions of you." She laughed as she leaned back beside him against the pillows. He found himself settling more comfortably as he yawned slightly.

"What? That I was some prim and proper woman?" She rolled her eyes. "I'll have you know I don't just have sex with any guy, but I have taken lovers before, John. I do enjoy the act." Well there went the comfort zone.

"Joss, please stop talking." The hard-on he had been desperately trying to ignore throbbed even more with the direction this conversation was going.

"I just don't want this to change our friendship. Neither of us is ready for anything, especially you; you have a long road to recovery." John reached out to touch his fingertips against her hand. He was injured, not dead.

"Joss."

"What?"

"I don't want to change our friendship either; you deserve better than I could give you."

"You're wrong there, John. You're a good man."

"You have more faith in me than I do. But you are right, neither of us is ready for anything to happen between us. My physical injuries beside the point, I find myself attracted to you too, Joss, but I can't-" she nodded putting a finger to her lips and he trailed off.

"You don't have to say anything to me John, I understand. Lets just focus on our friendship." He could handle that; then, when he was alone, he would think of her in more than friendly terms. Same as now, just with the knowledge of that kiss to plague him at every moment. "John, I care a lot about you and I can't lose you," her voice had grown soft and quiet. John stared into her eyes, seeing the depth of her emotions for him, frightening and exciting him at the same time. He wondered if she felt the same tumultuous mixture of emotions. John felt himself relaxing the more the talked. John was finding himself having a hard time staying awake. She smiled down at him as she stood up. "Nighty night," she chuckled.

He caught her hand before she could move away. "Joss..."

"What, John?" She paused from leaving him. He didn't know why, but it felt important to him to clear up one fact to her.

"I care a lot about you, and Taylor too." She smiled softly at him.

"I know. Now go to sleep, John," she said and he drifted off without a nightmare to greet him.

* * *

Joss exited his bedroom feeling like her shoulders had a little lighter weight on them. But not much. Joss felt like what she said to John was a lie. Not the part about not being ready for anything to happen, that very much was the truth. After Cal was murdered, putting her heart out on the line again wasn't happening for the distant future. But the part about wanting to focus on their friendship while subsequently burying their attraction-she couldn't. God she was a mess, she was afraid to move on, but yet she wanted John in the most carnal way.

Joss hadn't lied to him in saying a friends-with-benefits thing wasn't off the table for them. John felt he couldn't offer much more than that, viewing himself as unworthy even though that was so wrong. But no matter how many times she said differently, until he wanted to believe he was a good man nothing would change it. Besides, with her track record with men, a friends-with-benefits thing might be for the best. Her husband died, Cal was murdered…not exactly the best track record. She flopped onto the couch, staring at the dark ceiling. She was in her early forties so why couldn't she have a friends-with-benefits thing with John when he was healthy again? They were both adults, they were both in similar areas of their lives where a casual relationship would work. She didn't want to put her heart on the line, neither did John. They respected and cared a lot about one another and they shared an intense attraction. So why not? The internal war she was raging inside herself was almost overwhelming. Half of her wanted to go for it, while the other half, the half that claimed she couldn't keep it strictly just sex while remaining friends without wanting more, left her confused.

It didn't matter anyway because John couldn't have sex with her even if she decided to jump his bones. The man wasn't allowed to have sex, doctor's orders. He was much too weak and the doctor wanted him back to a more healthy weight before he was cleared for sexual activity. Dr. Stevens was a wonderful doctor, taking precautions, making sure John's heart was healthy after all the malnourishment and dehydration. Sex was a no-no for him.

But Joss needed relief badly. Her body felt achy, seeing him in bed while talking about their attraction had made her desire for him skyrocket. Joss wouldn't ever tell him, but she saw his erection, knew it was for her, making the ache inside her that much worse. She wondered if she should go out and buy herself a damn vibrator; she never had to resort to that sort of thing before in her life. But she had a feeling that living in this close proximity with John she was going to be constantly sexually frustrated.

* * *

Ryder sat in his motel room with paperwork. Some personal effects he lifted from Detective Jocelyn Carter's desk were littering his bed as he read through the file on the man in the suit. He had been thankful when the detective called to ask for a later meeting set for next week sometime. He had waited by the precinct for hours the day after Terney's murder, waiting for her and her partner to leave for the day. Ryder was shocked at how pretty the black female detective was. He wanted to nail her. She was small, petite, and pretty, not at all what he had been expecting. But he had remained in the shadows waiting for her to leave with her fat ass partner. When they were gone, he had entered the precinct. With everyone searching for Terney's killer it seemed no one even noticed him.

No one had noticed as he had looked through Detective Carter's personal effects, pocketing a few things before finding keys to the file cabinet. He opened it, looking through the files before finally finding one labeled 'man in the suit'. It was full; it appeared to be a closed case and he slid it into his leather jacket before shutting the file cabinet, looked around making sure no one had seen him and left.

His mind wandered back to the lady detective, not for the first time today. His downfall was women-it was what almost got him killed by those damned Russians. They didn't take it lightly that he had raped one of their darling little wives; thankfully his boss saved his life and he found solace with Kilpatrick. He vowed eternal allegiance to him. Once his boss destroyed HR and the Russians he would own this damn town, everyone would have to answer to him. But his boss wanted something personally, he needed Harold to exact some sort of revenge. But it all hinged on finding the 'man in the suit' to hopefully lure Harold out. Boss said this time, when they found John Reese, they were going to murder him in hopes of sending a direct message to Harold, ultimately drawing the man out of hiding. That was fine by him, they needed to get rid of the man in the suit anyways, he was a nuisance and would surely be a fucking thorn in their side as well.

He had spent the past couple of days reading through the paperwork on the man in the suit. The FBI figured the case was closed because they figured it was some Mark Snow guy. What Ryder found interesting was how many cases that John butted in on that Detective Carter and her partner Fusco worked. It sure the hell seemed way too coincidental to him, maybe John Reese was getting some help from the cops. His phone rang. He answered it quickly.

"I'm still going through the man in the suit's file, its fucking long. He must have been playing hero for a while now; no wonder every low life we come across wants a piece of him," Ryder snapped, getting irritable, his eyes drifting to the photo he took off Carter's desk.

"I found something of interest for you, Ryder,"

"What?"

"We could possibly use Detective Carter in hopes of finding John Reese. It seems he's protective of her, even going so far as threatening to kill anyone that touches her." Ryder grinned, wanting to touch her alright, he wanted to bury himself in her body.

"Doesn't surprise me that the detective seems to work a lot of cases of his but never finds him."

"You are to meet with her, correct?"

"Yeah, she pushed the meeting back to next week because she's looking into Terney's murder." Kilpatrick chuckled. Boss had taken great pleasure in killing that pile of filth.

"Yes well, she won't find a shred of evidence, I'm sure. But meet with her, find out what she knows, and then tail her."

"Did you say 'nail her' boss?" He grinned, eyeing her photo; imagining pinning her to his bed and taking her with or without her consent. He bet she'd be a wild cat in the sack, punching and kicking, struggling to get away from him. Maybe it was why Reese was protective of her, he wanted to stick it to her as badly as he did.

"Ryder, you're the best man on my payroll, but you have a seriously fucked up issue with women. Keep your dick in your pants, I can't have you arrested for raping the detective! She's a means to an end to my ultimate goal of murdering Reese to get Harold!"

"Not to question you boss, but will this work? Torturing the fuck out of Reese didn't, will killing him even bring this Harold person out in the open for you?"

"If it doesn't, the world is still free of this vigilante 'man in the suit,' the giant thorn in everyone's side. As I see it it's a win-win situation; even if his death doesn't secure me Harold, I'll find him and get him eventually. Reese is hurt and vulnerable, his death shall be easy for you, Ryder."

"Can I have her after his death?" He felt his excitement grow as he once again eyed her photo he stole from her desk. It was of her and some young kid; he had torn it so he only had her picture.

"Ryder, if you can keep it in your pants, I'll give you her before you have to kill Reese. It will be your prize; that is if you find out what I need to know and tail her."

"Yes sir." He hung up with his boss as his cock throbbed while he eyed the photo. He began loosening his pants, grinning as he pictured exactly what he'd do to her when he got his hands on the pretty little detective.

* * *

Author's note: *waves* so, this chapter is chalk full of happy goodness right, I mean Careese is so sexually frustrated they are thinking of taking care of business themselves, but poor John his casts are in the way(cue evil laughter) and Joss has sort of picked up a truly disturbed man's attention...

Next chapter: Elias is back and a talk between Fusco/Carter happens :D

Thanks as always everyone for reading, you guys are the bestest!


	13. Chapter 12

Joss sighed as she entered the small roadside diner where she had agreed to meet Detective Collins. He had been gracious enough to work with her to reschedule for Monday. He said it was important, pertaining to cold cases, but he understood and sent his condolences over Terney's death. Joss shouldn't feel sorry for him but she did a little, she wanted to bring him to justice not for him to die. She suspected if she figured out who killed him, then she'd find the man that had taken John. This was the ultimate goal for her, finding the man and the group that hurt John and make them pay. HR and the Russians were raging a full on war with this new group. She and Fusco had been called to two more crime scenes that were blatant mob hits. This new group was ruthless; both crime scenes were of Russians. The one happened to be a cousin to Peter Yogorov, which she suspected was going to make this war even worse.

Something was still irking her, something that happened a few days ago, something she should tell Fusco or John about. Someone had sifted through her things at her desk. She noticed it when she went to the station after John's doctor's appointment on Thursday. Things had been shifted or missing that were there the day before. The photo of her and her son in the frame on top of her desk was gone. Fusco didn't seem to sense her distress so she hadn't said anything to him or anyone. She at first thought she had shoved it without thinking into the top draw of her desk. She had a lot on her mind lately so it wasn't totally out of the realm of possibility. But, it hadn't been there, which sort of worried her. Who would want to steal a framed photo of her and her son? She didn't really notice anything else of interest missing, and the keys to the file cabinet were left in a different way than she had placed them. Maybe she'd talk to Fusco about it, leave John in the dark. If he thought someone was messing with her, John would surely do something to impede his recovery.

Joss looked around seeing if she could spot anyone that even looked remotely like a detective. In the back was a man with a scar running across his face from his nose all the way down to his neck, but not detracting for his handsomeness. He had long hair that reached the collar of his leather jacket. He was huge; he took up all the space on his side of the booth. His skin was tanned, and he had dark intelligent looking eyes. He stood up, as she moved closer.

"Detective Carter?" the gleam in his eye was purely male interest, she'd seen it before, most recently she had seen it in John's eyes. But she felt a little unnerved by it from this man, while from John she had felt womanly and beautiful.

"Yes, you must be Detective Collins?"

"Yes, lucky me." she shook the emotions off as she smiled and slid into the booth seat across from him. The waitress made her way over. "Coffee, black please." She ordered and the woman nodded practically hopping and skipping away. "So what can I do you for Collins?"

"Well Carter, I have several cold cases involving the man in the suit, a buddy of mine in your precinct said you ran the man in the suit case."

"I did, but it's closed."

"Caught him?"

"Sort of, he blew himself up. He was a rogue agent named Mark Snow." Carter said. "FBI closed it after they had nabbed four wrong suspects in the bank; the real man in the suit along with another rogue agent blew up in a car."

"Oh-well, damn I was sort of hoping I could nab this son of a bitch that killed these people." Joss remained calm. She knew John didn't kill any one for their cold cases; it was just someone else or someone was trying to pin it on the man in the suit. There were always copycat killers out there, who better to put blame it on then the man in a suit who couldn't defend himself. "Sorry I wasted your time detective."

"It's alright, Collins,"

"Call me Ryder." He smiled at her; his dark eyes stared intently at her. Joss felt the uncomfortable feeling again and she didn't understand why. She wasn't unaccustomed to being hit on, in fact she got numerous come ons, but for some reason with this man, his interest left her wishing she hadn't come alone with him. Fusco offered to come with her and she told him to look into more leads on the new group. She was being silly, this man wasn't unattractive, but the way he was staring at her left her feeling creeped out.

"Alright Ryder, seeing I answered a few questions for you could you possibly answer a couple for me?" She willed the strange feelings to go away. She was being idiotic.

"Sure," he smiled again, making the strange feeling to run away grow. Usually smiles made a person's face warm but his made him look evil. Joss took the coffee cup the waitress placed in front of her. She noticed the way the waitress wouldn't look at this man. It seemed she wasn't the only one that felt a bit intimidated by him. Maybe it was his sheer size that made her uncomfortable. When they were alone again, she decided to hurry and wrap up this conversation with him.

"I'm looking into a new group that I think are going after the Russians."

"Oh yeah, I know them." Her eyes widened as they each took a sip of their coffee.

"You do?"

"Yeah, they have circular tattoos on their necks right?"

"Oh my god yes, do you have any idea who is the leader, what they want? I have several unsolved murders I think are related to this new group."

"They want to run the town Carter, plain and simple. They are going after the Russians, Bulgarians, Aryans, and even HR."

"I figured, I got two crime scenes of two Russians murdered in a mob hit."

"It will only get worse."

"We need to stop them; do you have any information on who is the leader or what their name is anything?"

"Not really, but if I get any additional information I'd gladly give it to you."

"Thanks," she pulled out her card. Without allowing herself to think better of it she scribbled her cell phone number down before handing it to him. "Anytime, if you get anything as a lead on them I'd like to know about it."

"Sure thing Carter." She nodded her thanks.

"I should be going," she motioned as she stood desperately wanting to flee but she didn't want to make it appear she was fearful of him. He smiled up at her.

"Yeah I got work to do too; I hope to have some info for you soon, detective. We need to clean up these streets, make it safer for people. Coffee's on me." He motioned to her full cup of coffee.

"Yeah I agree, and thanks. See you around Ryder," she said and with that she hurried to the door. The moment she made it outside she felt ten times better.

* * *

Ryder watched her hurry away from him, his eyes trailed over her sleek body. The urge to get up and follow her to her car, to take what he wanted now was almost too much too bear. But Boss said he'd get her if he did as he requested. Speak with her and tail her. He knew where she was going, back to the station he'd wait to tail her home, maybe getting lucky in finding where Reese was at. He couldn't wait to get his hands on her, but the boss wanted to know more about her. He phoned his boss.

"How did the meeting go with Detective Carter?"

"It went well."

"You left her alone, right Ryder?"

"Yes but I need to have her boss, when can I have her?" Ryder had a bit of a sex addiction, and finding willing or not willing participants was easy for him. If the women were willing, he'd take them back to their place and take his fill of their bodies. If they weren't willing he took them to somewhere where no one will hear their pathetic cries for help, and he took what he wanted anyway. But he hadn't found a woman that got him this hard so quickly like this beautiful detective.

"Later Ryder, I learned a valuable lesson with Reese escaping, that patience is a virtue. Mr. Greer gave me sound advice; take it one step at a time. I need to have the rest of my plan for this godforsaken state in place before I allow you to have her. How about I purchase you a nice hooker to get you by until I give you the detective?" No the hooker wouldn't be good enough, because he knew the little detective would put up a fight. He closed his eyes imagining her fighting him, his erection throbbed. "I'll even allow you to kill her." He smiled a little; Boss really did know how to be there for his men. He took the time to get to know them, which was why he had faithfully owed his entire life to Isaac Kilpatrick. Pounding himself into some hooker's body while he strangled the life out of her sounded like heaven right about now. It would relieve the stress he was feeling from not being able to take the woman he really wanted. "You've been hiding your tattoo correct? We can't have the pretty little detective figuring it out, Ryder, or you don't get her at all."

"She never saw it," he growled in agitation. He always had makeup on to hide his giant marking to signify his allegiance to Kilpatrick. He couldn't have his co-workers realizing who he was; Boss needed him discreetly to look into matters for him. He was the mole at the 103rd precinct.

"Good."

"What happens after we have run the Russians and HR into the ground boss?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your alliance with Elias?"

"It's null in void and he dies. I do not wish to share control with anyone, even with Elias. He's been a tremendous help in finding what will lure John Reese out so you can kill him."

"The detective," he smiled.

"Yes. Both Elias and your detective work helped me find my leverage on finding Reese and ultimately Harold. That's why your reward is this little detective you want to screw so badly. I might even let you keep her until you are through with her." Having her over and over again? Usually once he had a woman, the thrill was gone, but he had a feeling this detective was different. "Tail her from a safe distance and be ready for my call. When I give you the go ahead, I'll send some additional men to help you, call her and ambush her."

"I can do anything to her?"

"Anything, as long as she's alive to go running to John Reese." Ryder didn't care about Harold or John Reese, he'd gladly kill them both for his boss, but the detective was all his.

"I'll be waiting for your phone call," he answered before standing up. "Get me that hooker, boss."

"Alright, where is the detective right now? I'll send Troy in your place until you are through."

"She went back to the station." He eyed the pretty little waitress that wouldn't eye him. "Second thought boss, don't get me that hooker I found someone else that will do quite nicely." He hung up with his boss and he walked slowly over to the waitress.

* * *

"Thank you for meeting with me, Harold." Finch eyed Carl Elias, and his right hand man Anthony Marconi. Shaw had accompanied him, her mistrust palpable as she held her gun, obscuring it from view from everyone else. Elias and Marconi both saw the glint of the metal flashing.

"Just so you know, you think of harming Harold, I will shoot you both before you can even move." Shaw responded coldly.

"I have not had the pleasure of your acquaintance Ms…" Elias paused, waiting for Ms. Shaw to supply her name. When she didn't he chuckled a little as he pocketed his hands in his coat. "No need for this, however. Harold and I are amicable chess partners; I wouldn't want to harm him. Besides we share a mutual friend now don't we, Harold? How is John doing?"

"He'll be alright."

"Where is he, I need to speak with him?"

"He's in hiding Elias, he's recuperating from his ordeal."

"Yes, well the reason I asked for our little meeting is I met with this new player in town, his name Isaac Kilpatrick."

Finch nodded, never hearing the name before. "What is known about him?"

"Not much, other than he's looking to take down HR, the Russians, and is looking for the man in the suit."

Finch paused in his walking. "Did he say why?"

"No."

"Did you by chance notice his men to have a circular tattoo on their neck?"

"Yes I did in fact." Finch eyed Shaw. They had finally gotten a name, and they gotten it from Carl Elias. He feared now that they owed him one for finding out who were John's captors; he would want them to look the other way on future dealings of his.

"Don't worry Harold; this was just a friendly meeting. If I want to call in my favors you'll know it." Finch nodded, deciding they'd deal with that later when and if that happened. For now Elias was an ally in bringing down HR, Russians, and this new group lead by an Isaac Kilpatrick. Elias and Marconi walked away while Shaw and Harold began walking back towards their cars.

"I need to get back to the library, Ms. Shaw. Go to the precinct and fill in the detectives on what we found out. See if they can run his name in the database." She nodded as she climbed into her car. This was their first real break, one that could possibly lead them to stopping a ruthless man that had harmed their friend. Harold drove to the library where he received another number. He paused, their purpose had to come first. He limped to the pay phone and picked up the phone, listening while his mind was on this Isaac Kilpatrick.

* * *

"You know, you are my new bane of my existence, G.I. Jane!" Fusco grumbled as he and Carter exited the precinct to meet up with Shaw. He noticed the lack of a smile on the brunette woman's face, did she ever smile? And if she did would it get stuck that way since her facial muscles probably never got used in that fashion before?!

"Elias gave us some intel on the people that took Reese." Carter and Fusco's ears perked up at that. As of late they were at a standstill on everything. Terney's murder turned up squat, HR was bottoming out, going on the defensive. Beecher and Szymanski's murders still unresolved thanks to HR with no real resolution in sight. Until they got this new group under control they couldn't get those HR bastards that were hiding. They had the Daniels/Armstrong case still unsolved and still no leads as to why they were killed by this deadly group, as well as two dead Russians. The group were killing left and right, causing mayhem, and making the streets even more unsafe than usual.

"What is it?" Carter demanded. "I was gonna call Finch with a little info myself, although it's not much."

"What do you know Carter?" Fusco sensed a change between the two women. It seemed ever since the two had aired out their very loud grievances with one another, they seemed better. He wouldn't say it was a warm reception between the two, but it wasn't glacial cold either. He found himself not having to reprimand them like children. Sheesh, who knew wonder boy would cause so much commotion.

"A Detective Ryder Collins told me a little bit that he knew about them. They are going to try taking down the Russians and HR. They want control."

"That and they want the man in the suit, which we know is to get Harold. Elias had a meeting with Isaac Kilpatrick; we need you to run his name in the database to see what comes up on him."

"Elias got a name?"

"Yeah, this guy is the ringleader. We need to keep our eyes open, if they even get wind where John is-"

"I won't let that happen," Carter vowed and Fusco sighed. So Carter was still on wonder boy's love train. "Did Finch recognize the name, does he know why this guy wants him?"

"No, he had no clue," she stated. She held up an index finger to them and she reached to her ear. Looks like she was being summoned by four eyes. "On it Finch," she said before looking back at them. "Could you also look into a new person for us, we just got the name from our source?"

"Sure, who is it?"

"Her name is Tessa Crocker, she's a waitress at Paulie's Diner." Fusco felt Joss stiffen.

"Paulie's Diner? Hey isn't that where you went to meet up with Queens boy?"

"Yeah, we'll look into it for you, Shaw."

"Thank you detectives, call when you have something." she whirled around and he eyed Carter.

"You two bury the hatchet, instead of lobbing it at one another?"

"Funny Fusco, look, it's better to get along than not, right? I thought that was what you were crabbing about when you were preaching to us." She smiled as they walked back towards the station. "Besides, I figured if Finch and I are working things out, I'll try to give Lady Rambo a chance, she can't be all bad." He sighed before holding the door for her. "Can you take this Tessa Crocker, so I can look into Isaac Kilpatrick, Fusco?"

"Sure, you need to be the one that finds info for wonder boy, gotcha." he smirked as they walked towards their desks.

"That's not it Fusco,"

"Right."

"Its not."

"Oh come on Carter, you want to be the one that finds out for him." She shot him a look, but he decided to continue. "You know I'm all for keeping to my own business, but are you sure about this thing you got going with wonder boy?"

"First off, it's none of your business, Fusco. What John and I do in our spare time, away from the office and away from our work, is between the two of us. My life is my life, got it?!"

"Got it."

"Secondly, there isn't any 'thing' between John and I. We are friends."

"Sure, and I'm friends with the Easter Bunny, I'm just saying, Carter, be careful. Mr. Happy isn't exactly what I'd call emotionally available; the guy has more issues than Playboy magazine." She rolled her eyes. "All jokes aside, I'm just trying to look out for ya."

"I know, I appreciate it, but when it comes to John, he's off limits. I'll do what I feel is best and there isn't anything you or anyone else can say to change my mind." They sat down at their respective desks.

"I got it Carter."

She nodded with finality. "Got anywhere to be for Christmas Eve?" she asked almost completely out of the blue. He blinked, looking up from his computer.

"It's just me and my boy, why? I get to have him Christmas Eve while his mom gets his Christmas Day."

"Well I'm having a small get together. I wanted to invite you; you can bring your son too."

"Yeah sure, what the hell." He grinned looking back down and began typing away to find out anything he could about this Tessa Crocker.

* * *

Author's note: Ryder is a CREEP, Elias is playing both sides, and Fusky is protective of our Jocelyn, which is so sweet :) No John in this chapter but don't worry he's in the next lets just say he gets caught with his pants down ;P

Thank you to everyone that's reading and reviewing I appreciate it, I'm glad everyone is enjoying this. I've been receiving numerous requests for the next Moments installment and all I can say is hang in there, its coming, I promise :)


	14. Chapter 13

"I didn't get there in time, Finch." Shaw snapped as she walked into the library the next morning, very upset.

"Ms. Tessa Crocker was murdered?"

"Yes, I got to Paulie's Diner she was already missing. No one seemed to see anything or know anything. I went to her apartment; I didn't see any sign of her. But thanks to the police radio I learned that her body was found late last night in a dumpster about a mile away. I got to the scene pretending to work for CSU. She was raped and strangled to death; no prints-the guy had gloves on, not one lead." Finch saw the set of Shaw's jaw, saw the tension in her shoulders. She was just like Mr. Reese in this respect, when they lost a number they were angry.

"Not to make light of our loss of a number, we will catch whoever did it. But we got a new number this morning. It's someone we know."

"God damn it- it's Leon I bet." she growled in anger. "I'm not in the mood to save his sorry ass again, not when I want to catch the son of a bitch that killed this Crocker woman."

"Not Mr. Tao, rather Mr. Reese." Finch rolled his shoulders. "Ms. Shaw, we need to speak with the detectives about this to keep their eyes peeled for anyone looking too hard for Mr. Reese. But we need to keep this strictly confidential between the four of us, no one outside of myself, you-Ms. Shaw, and the detectives will know. That includes John."

"You don't think John has the right to know his number came up?"

"No. John would want to be on his own; afraid of the danger he would be placing on everyone else if he was with them." No, he thought it best to keep John completely in the dark about the newest threat to his life. John would go on believing he was in hiding, he wouldn't try to get away from Detective Carter.

"Reese will be angry if he finds out that you purposely left him in the dark."

"I'll deal with Mr. Reese's anger then. John needs to focus on getting better, he'll be adamant about pushing Detective Carter away if he thinks he's in danger. She needs to be there with him to protect him; he's vulnerable in the state he's in."

"I agree, John won't." Finch knew she was being honest. But he wasn't going to allow John's pride to get in the way of saving his life.

"It won't matter if he's dead; I will not let anyone harm Mr. Reese again, even if it means him being upset with me," Finch stated just as he got a call from Detective Carter. He immediately answered her.

"Yes, Detective Carter?"

"What the hell is going on, Finch?" Her tone was bewildered; he furrowed his brows unsure of what she was talking about. He had figured the detective was calling with answers on Isaac Kilpatrick, but it seemed something else was on her mind.

"Detective what's the matter?"

"I just got the same social security number texted to my phone that I did when I found John. Now what the hell is going on?" Finch was glad he was sitting down because had he not been, surely he would have fallen. The machine contacted the detective about John? "Is the number John's?"

"It's Mr. Reese's alias, not his legal surname."

"Does that mean he's in danger?"

"Yes."

"Your source, what is it?"

"Detective that doesn't concern you."

"The hell it doesn't Finch! Whatever it is, it's contacting me about John. I need to know what it is. It's not human, so it's what-a computer?"

"I'm not even sure why it's contacting you about John." At least this time the machine had given him John's number as well. "Detective this topic is very sensitive."

"Give me the short version, Finch; it's contacting me about John for some reason. If it wants me to do something, I need to know what it is."

"I need you to stay as close as possible to Mr. Reese. He's in danger; someone wants to harm him, which has to be this Mr. Kilpatrick. Have you figured out anything on him yet?"

"No, nothing; it's like he doesn't exist."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing. It's like this guy is a ghost or something."

"Stay with Mr. Reese, I'll go speak with Elias."

"Tell me what this means Finch, I deserve to know."

"The less you know about our source the safer you are."

"That's what John said too."

"He's correct, please-Mr. Reese and I both are trying to spare you pain. Trust me; knowing about our source has cost a lot of people their lives."

"I'm not scared Finch."

"I presume not, detective, but I am scared for you. Which is why I will not tell you about it. I'm sorry if this makes you trust in me less, but I will not allow harm to come to you for knowing about it." He heard a soft sigh escape her.

"Fine, I understand your reasons even if I don't agree with them. But don't think I'm just going to drop it. I'm going to keep asking and one of these days you are going to tell me."

"Thank you detective, for showing me trust again. I promise you will not be sorry for it. Now please try to remain as close to John as possible without allowing him to become suspicious. Please do not tell him we received his number."

"Yeah I got it; he needs to focus on getting better." Finch was glad she understood, at least about keeping John in the dark.

"Keep trying to find out anything you can about this Isaac Kilpatrick; I have a feeling this isn't his real name."

"That's what I'm thinking too Finch; it's got to be an alias. We need to learn his real name or, at the very least, where his men hang out. If we find that out, maybe they'll lead us straight to Kilpatrick."

"Keep me posted detective." She hung up with him and he stood up. "We need to set up another meeting with Mr. Elias; we need him to meet with this Kilpatrick again."

"She got John's number again?"

"Yes,"

"Do you have any idea why the machine is giving her his number?"

"No, I'm not really sure Ms. Shaw, it's quite peculiar."

"Maybe the machine has a crush on her." Shaw snorted as she walked beside him towards the exit of the library. Finch had thought about that, but perhaps the machine felt guilty about not helping Mr. Reese prior, and was trying to make up for it? The detective wasn't receiving anyone else's numbers, just Mr. Reese's, which left him stumped.

* * *

"What's going on Carter?" She shook her head at Fusco as she pocketed her cell phone.

"John's in danger again, I need to head back to the apartment. Can you handle looking more into Isaac Kilpatrick?"

"Yeah sure, you heard the news, right?"

"What news?" she asked as she gathered things up. She looked at Fusco.

"The news that Tessa Crocker that person four eyes and G.I. Jane wanted us to look into was offed."

"No I hadn't heard."

"She was raped and strangled to death, found in a dumpster."

"Any leads?"

"None, no one seemed to see anything or hear anything. Either that or they are too scared to talk."

"Who's on the case?"

"Olson and Hanes."

"See if you can hear anything about it."

"I'll try. So wonder boy is in danger still; what's new?"

"It's different though, his number came up."

"His what?"

"I don't know Fusco, I've been receiving weird texts." She sighed, walking over to him, showing him the four texts she gotten in a matter of minutes of one another of the same number over and over again. "Finch knows what this means but he's not talking…yet."

"Keep on the little guy, he'll spill eventually."

"Yeah. Hey before I leave to go sit with John to make sure he's alright can I ask you something."

"Sure what's up?"

"This is going to sound stupid but have you messed with my desk?" she asked trying to keep it light. "I won't be mad, just tell me, okay? Because my photo is missing."

"What are you talking about?"

"Some of my things were shifted in my desk, and a framed photo of me and my kid is gone. I was just wondering if you were playing a joke on me."

"No." Joss sighed, wishing it had been the case. She didn't figure Fusco to do such a thing, but she wanted to make sure. "Wait a minute-you thinking someone was at your desk, rifling through it, for what?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter because I have to get going, I'm probably being paranoid or something. I am spending too much time with John I think." She tried to laugh it off, but it still unnerved her. Where would she put her photograph of her and her son? She wouldn't put it anywhere, that's why. Someone took it, but for what reason? Joss hurried out of the station, she rushed to her car when a feeling a very uncomfortable feeling like she was being watched filled her. Joss had the same feeling yesterday, like she had been watched. She drove in circles, hoping that if someone was watching her they wouldn't find where she was staying at. Joss looked around, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, no cars parked, nothing that seemed worrisome. But she couldn't stop the feeling that she was being watched. Joss climbed into her car and decided to do what she had been doing, drive in circles. Joss pulled away from the station and drove, her eyes on the rearview mirror from time to time watching as she made a few rights to see if any car followed her. Sure enough, a silver sedan followed far back but continued to make the continuous turns she did.

Joss felt the blood in her veins quicken as she pushed down on the pedal speeding up to run the stoplight. She zipped through the light with a honk of a horn from several people as she ran a blatant red light through the intersection. The silver sedan had to stop, and she made a quick right before she sped faster to get away from her tail. Joss spent about twenty extra minutes driving all over the place never once seeing that silver sedan again. She drove to their apartment complex, glad the parking lot was obscured from view from the street. Joss wasn't taking any chances however; she pulled into the parking space backwards, grateful there was a brick wall separating the parking lot of the apartment complex to a restaurant behind it. She locked up before she rushed towards the complex. Joss fiddled with her keys with the doorknob; in her haste to get in, she tried to stab her car key into the lock. She grumbled feeling stupid for being so paranoid lately, when she finally got the right key into the lock.

Joss entered the apartment, nearly dropping her things when she saw John on his feet with crutches, struggling with a towel, all wet and naked. Joss couldn't help but stare. Good grief he was well endowed wasn't he, and he was aroused. Joss was unable to quit staring, well damn she was a hot-blooded female that was highly attracted to him; she could-right? If the roles were reversed he'd surely make no qualms about staring to his heart's consent. Joss's gaze never lifted, she was sure her mouth hung open as she ogled his naked wet form.

"JOSS!" Even his embarrassed shout of her name didn't pull her gaze away, that only happened when he placed a towel around his hips. Where did this towel come from? Oh right, he had been struggling with one while he tried to use the crutches. She forced her eyes up, traveling the wet length of his body. She finally made it to his eyes, seeing the embarrassment in them. "I didn't realize you were coming home."

"So you decided to streak in the apartment?" Not that she was upset at finding him in his birthday suit, but she did have a son.

"No." his answer was short and clipped. He was still embarrassed.

"Where's your wheelchair?"

"Joss, I'm stronger now, I can use the crutches. Besides I was in the middle of a bath when I thought I heard something. I climbed out, I didn't want to get the wheelchair wet. I'm guessing I heard you." She was glad she didn't call him to give him a heads up or she wouldn't have gotten the great show. Except now it was going to be even worse trying to live with a man she was sexually attracted to, whom she had now seen naked, but couldn't have.

"Why are you taking a bath alone? What about your back?" she was proud of herself for reprimanding him while she was mentally trying to chill her body down.

"I could reach the bandages Joss; I figured I'd have Taylor put them back on for me when he got back home from his friends." She nodded. Taylor was on Christmas vacation since Christmas Eve was only a few days away. Joss flickered her eyes across John's wet body; it seemed Christmas came early for her.

"Now I know why the nurses were fighting over giving you sponge baths," she murmured more to herself. But by John's face turning a cute light pink color, he'd heard her. He was quite adorable, when he was embarrassed. She didn't comment on his blushing. "Um, I'll turn around if you want." she motioned, he looked confused.

"Why?"

"Because I'm sure the towel you're holding in place will fall giving me quite the encore while you try to maneuver the crutches and go back to taking your bath." Why was she being noble? She should have just kept her big mouth shut and enjoyed the encore presentation.

"Oh, right." Joss sighed, hating herself right now while John struggled to knot the towel around his hips with his casts and the crutches in his way; he was having a rough time of it.

"Better yet…." She put the stuff down on the floor, kicking the door haphazardly shut before walking over to him. Her eyes were on his beautiful blue ones while she grabbed a hold of the towel that he was loosely holding around his hips. She never looked away; it felt like the oxygen between them got zapped while her fingers dipped below his navel, feeling his soft skin while she knotted the towel around his slender hips tightly. "How's that?" Good lord, was that her voice? It was low, breathy, and provocative. John's eyes slid down to her mouth, making it almost impossible to not lick her lips so she did, making him moan softly. She took a step back before she did something really stupid like kiss him again and impishly snatch the towel away so she could take her fill of staring at his body.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he turned and began struggling with the crutches to get back to his bedroom. Joss watched him while her mind wished for the towel to fall before she forced herself to go pick up the things she dropped at the door. No sex, he wasn't allowed. Her brain seemed to remember, but her body wanted to jump in that bath with him. Her entire body ached again for his. What was this-a test, was the world testing her willpower to not give in and jump a man that was still recovering from extreme physical trauma? Was she some sort of sicko or something? Good gosh, she just wanted to find relief from this constant pressure she felt. She couldn't shake the sexy image of John butt naked out of her head. John was beautiful from head to toe. Joss pushed aside her sexy thoughts, deciding to put them in the back of her mind. She had to focus on keeping John safe and stop thinking of what sex would be like with him.

* * *

John was still embarrassed. He didn't let on he was, but he had been thinking too much of Joss in his bath. He had grown aroused which she had seen thanks to his paranoia. He had worried someone found where he was at, he went out to check, and then Joss entered. She looked so surprised, and then her eyes slinked down. He had been so surprised he hadn't moved the towel around his hips in time allowing her a nice long look at him. Had it been different, had he found her naked, he couldn't say he wouldn't stare at her naked form, so he couldn't fault her. But still he was embarrassed. Joss had helped put the bandages on him and she seemed a little distracted. He couldn't help but wonder what she was doing back here by eleven A.M.

"What brings you home so early Joss?"

"This and that." Her answer was too vague for his liking. Which made him narrow his eyes on her. She looked at him innocently and he couldn't tell what she was hiding from him. "You know since I am home early, I'm going to decorate for Christmas and you're gonna help me." she stated as she stood up.

"What?" it was such an abrupt change in subject it left his mind reeling.

"You know, decorate a Christmas tree, decorate the apartment, that sort of thing." she smiled.

"You have a Christmas tree?"

"Yeah, a fake one which I had Finch pack over from my apartment since I knew we'd be here for the holidays. I think its in the hall closet over here, he thought it was sweet I wanted to decorate the apartment for us. He went a little overboard since there are several bags in here that he bought for us to decorate the place with. I think Finch likes Christmas John." John slowly got back onto the wheelchair before he followed her to the hall closet. His eyes however happened to be on her shapely butt. She got a peek at him so why not take a nice long look at her ass. She straightened and he forced his gaze to innocently flicker up before he was caught. She turned and plopped big brown bags of stuff in his lap. "Hold on here's more." she stated as she disappeared into the hallway closet again. John had more things piled on top of him.

"You know I'm not some moveable table Joss." he grouched as she put some garland around his neck which made her laugh. She waved him off before she pulled out a big box of the artificial tree. John had to allow her to wheel him back in the spacious living room since she had piled tons of things on his lap and he had hold onto them before they fell. Joss disappeared and came back with the giant box. She motioned to the side of the living room near the window.

"I'm thinking here since its mostly empty space." she stated before opening it up pulling out the fake limbs.

"What happened at work Joss, that brought you home early?" he asked again.

"Nothing, its my turn to make sure you are alright; I always send Fusco, Shaw, or Finch."

"Joss-" she lifted her brown gaze to his eyes and he could see whatever it was she wasn't going to tell him.

"John, I wanted to make sure you are alright." He nodded. John wasn't totally sold on that, but she was very over protective. She was always barking orders at him, trying to keep him from doing too much too soon. He'd let it go for now. They decorated the tree; she put on a bunch of multicolored lights before they placed some ornaments on it. She did the top while he put some on the bottom where he could reach. Doing this was unusual for him, he didn't recall the last time he ever had decorated a Christmas tree, not since he was a kid. Joss went around the apartment hanging up the festive garland and some more multicolored lights. John opened a bag searching through it before finding mistletoe. He held up the sprig and she turned, smiling as she saw it.

"Finch must of got that." she took it from him and held it over his head.

"Joss," but before he could say anything else she leaned down pressing her soft lips to his in a light, quick kiss.

"Rules are rules, John." She smiled before walking away. He wished she hadn't done that because now his body that just cooled off was again overheating. He watched her climb up on the stepladder that was supplied for them, and rolled his eyes when she hung it over the couch where he usually sat. She shot him a cheeky grin. "Here, good for you John? It seems perfect to me."

"Funny, Joss." She seemed to be in a playful mood today, either that or she was trying to distract him. It was working, knowing Joss wanted to kiss him again and again was very much on his mind presently.

"Or how about here?" she snickered as she climbed down making her way to the threshold to his bedroom. "Or how about _anywhere_ where you are?"

"How about we hang it over you?" he smirked. She smiled at him, shrugging. He watched as she hung it directly over the threshold of his bedroom which made him sigh. They finished decorating; he got back onto the couch while she sat down on the sofa chair.

"So anything more on the men with the tattoos?" John asked after a little while. He noticed something cross her features but it faded. It seemed she knew something more than what she was telling him. He wanted to know what.

"Nope."

"Joss,"

"Yeah, John?"

"What are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing."

"You know something else, don't you?" she sighed before she gave in.

"Elias got us the name of the leader of the men that had you. Elias met with him, talked with him."

"Who is it?"

"A guy named Isaac Kilpatrick." John furrowed his brows trying to think if he'd ever heard of a man with that name. But nothing came to him.

"Never heard of him."

"Yeah well, I checked into his name, he's not in the database, its like he's a ghost or something. So we are really back to square one again. We don't know anything yet unfortunately. This group is even more elusive than HR. We don't know who the leader is, he's like some ghost, we know his agenda, he wants to take over control from the Russians and HR; he's already killed several Russians, allies to the Russians, and he's taken out Terney."

"These people seem much more cutthroat than HR and the Russians."

"I agree. I thought the Russians had few rules; I think this new guy, this Kilpatrick guy, has even less. He wants control at any means necessary and he wants Harold for some reason." John nodded his head in agreement. He was sure the reason for wanting Harold was a much more personal reason than to control everything. Maybe it was about the machine, but even that seemed more of a business reason. This guy had been almost desperate to find Harold. It had to be a personal vendetta against Finch, just what? "But maybe if we can find where they frequent maybe his tattooed men might lead us right to him."

"Maybe, so why are you home so early?" he tried again. "Finch and Shaw surely need your assistance to find this Kilpatrick and you aren't one to leave work early. So what's going on that made you come back here?"

"John, let it go."

"No, I feel like you are hiding something from me." He was tired of people treating him like he was made of glass. Yes, he was recovering but he didn't want to be treated differently.

"Aren't you doing it to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I asked you point blank what your source is and you won't tell me. So why should I tell you what I'm hiding?" Damn it, why was she reversing this on him?!

"It's to protect you Joss."

"Well so is mine."

"I don't need protection."

"Neither do I; but that doesn't stop you from withholding information from me." John felt pinned to a wall, she had him there. He was withholding the information to protect her; it seemed like she was doing the same thing for him. He decided to try to change the subject, maybe he'd try talking to Finch, Lionel, or Shaw to see what was going on. He couldn't help but feel like she was withholding something that he needed to know.

* * *

"She gave me the slip again boss." Ryder smirked more to himself as he was sitting in a parking lot he pulled into. She was always hard to follow, she seemed to take a lot of precautions wherever she was going, never seemed to be going home. He went to her apartment, which she never came to nor her kid. Which meant they were staying somewhere else, just where?

"What do you mean _again_, you are my best guy?! Do not fail me Ryder!"

"She's careful, she hasn't been to her apartment nor her kid since I begun tailing her a few days ago, and whenever she leaves the precinct for the day she like drives in circles and I lose her. Which makes me think she is living with Reese."

"Interesting; do you think they are together?"

"Not sure boss; maybe she's taking care of him while he recuperates? Reese was pretty close to being dead."

"Could be; my men have checked all the hospitals in the surrounding area. They had found one that fit John's description as well as his physical injuries a while ago, but they were stonewalled. Maybe its for the best she gave you the slip; I need you to pull back from tailing her anyway."

"Why?" He didn't want to pull back, he wanted to continue to watch her, learn her, imagine her beneath him, fighting him while he took her.

"Ryder, we need to prioritize my need for revenge against everyone that destroyed who I was needs to be placed on hold. Just like your need to screw the detective, we need to take care of a few other issues first."

"Like what?"

"I don't just want to destroy the lives of people that destroyed mine, I want to run this god damn place, I want to be the leader, I want people to fear me the moment they hear my name. I want people to bow down to me, I want the REAL power. It was what I was striving for before Harold ruined me. He took my money, imprisoned me, and I lost my wife and my daughter thanks to him."

"Anything I'll do anything for you boss." his voice was uneven as he closed his eyes. Images of the detective slapping him, punching him, fighting him for all she was worth was causing him to get harder. Jocelyn Carter would surely be his best.

"I know you would Ryder, to gain that power I deserve I need the Russians and HR out of my way. Then my revenge on Harold will be easier to obtain, the man in the suit will be dead, and no one will be able to stop us." His allegiance to the boss was his first and foremost objective, nailing the detective had to be second. Boss wanted revenge on Harold and his cunt of an ex-wife and the boss was able to prioritize, then so could he. He couldn't allow his need for the detective to cloud his loyalty to the boss; he'd just find another woman to hold him over till he had the pretty detective.

"Okay boss, I'll head back."

"I need you to assist Troy in a double murder tonight."

"Sure thing boss, who are they?" .

"Alonso Quinn and Officer Simmons."

"The chief of staff for the mayor?"

"Yes, I have it on good authority that he's the head of HR and once you slit his throat, HR will be run into the ground. I'll have HR running scared, the Russians will lose their backing, leaving me the chance at taking over their stomping ground."

"Then I can have Carter?"

"You'll have her Ryder, soon."

* * *

Author's note: Hey two updates back to back, this almost never happens for me, but you can thank Misery Loathes Company for this update. Although don't expect another update tomorrow, not sure when I'll post the next chapter which happens to be somewhat of a pivotal chapter too...crap, well it won't be too long from now.

Next chapter...good stuff happens like Leon is back(I love that guy), Finch and Carter share a heart to heart, while Shusco share a conversation too. HEE HEE HEE, Shusco I crack myself up sometimes :P

Thanks for reading, and reviewing you peeps are the bestest :D


	15. Chapter 14

_**Author's note: So I just wanted to give a heads up this chapter is super super long lol, but you guys are getting accustomed to these right? I hope so but honestly I think this is the last of the exceedingly long chapters. But I'm thinking you guys will love it, especially if you are a Careeser :D**_

* * *

"Are you kidding?" Shaw demanded as they walked past three sets of payphones that all rang. Finch sighed. He had to agree with Ms. Shaw. They were still trying to work on their missed opportunity to save Ms. Tessa Crocker and they still had Mr. Reese's number to deal with as well. Not to mention all the other unsolved murders they had to deal with: Detectives Beecher, Szymanski, and Terney. He paused to pick up the phone, getting what seemed to be two new numbers.

"Ms. Shaw, can you meet with Mr. Elias by yourself while I head back to the library to find out who the new numbers are?"

"Sure,"

"They might be in connection with this Mr. Kilpatrick; if they are, they might be in grave danger."

"I can't wait till we get these guys."

"Me too," he agreed as they walked their separate ways. Finch went back to the library; he pulled out all the books necessary to get the new numbers. Finch paused a moment when he was phoned by Detective Fusco.

"Yes detective?"

"I got a bit of an odd question for you, 'glasses'."

"What's on your mind?"

"Carter seems to think someone was snooping around her desk, stealing her photo of her kid and her." He paused as he sat down by his computer.

"Why would they steal a photograph of her with her son?"

"Not sure, some creep maybe; it's got me worried now. She thought it was me, I assured her it wasn't, she looked unsettled by it while trying to fluff it off. Do you still have that camera that's in the police figurine turned on?"

"Yes." He liked to have eyes on them, just in case they needed his assistance.

"Could you maybe watch old tapes or something to find out who was at her desk?"

"You think it's that serious?"

"I think it's weird that she is missing a photo of her and her son."

"I'll look into it detective, do you by chance know the day she noticed things different and missing?"

"No she didn't say; she thought she was being paranoid, taking a page out of yours and the crabby commando's playbook."

"I'll see what I can find out. If you could try to get her to tell you the day she noticed things missing it will narrow down the time frame I need to look into for her." He typed in the new social security numbers on his computer.

"Yeah sure, thanks."

Finch's eyes widened when he learned who the numbers belonged to. "DETECTIVE!"

"What?"

"Do you know where Officer Patrick Simmons is?"

"No I'm not his keeper, and since I squeezed out of my jam with Stills' body Simmons hasn't come sniffing around."

"I just received his name as well as Alonso Quinn's name from my source. I think they are the newest targets from our new group."

"I say let the trash take out the trash, they killed Carter's boyfriend and friend, and they tried to ruin my life. I don't feel bad for HR."

"Neither do I, but we can't allow this new group to gain control, detective. If they do, they'll become even harder to stop than they already are. They are shrouded in mystery; maybe if we can catch them in the act, we can learn who they are." Which meant protecting John.

"Fine, I'll try to learn where Simmons is at, but it won't be easy. You want me to call Carter, let her know?"

"Yes, please stress to her the importance of keeping Mr. Reese in the dark as much as possible. The less Mr. Reese knows the better."

"I'm not so sure; the crabby commando is probably suspicious of why he's not allowed to be alone."

"Mr. Reese cannot learn his name came up by our source."

"You mean his number." Finch paused.

"Excuse me?" he said, taken aback.

"Carter showed me John's number, she won't rest till you give her a straight answer. Personally, I could care less how you do the voodoo magic you do, but she does."

"Yes well, for her protection she can never know."

"Whatever. I'll give Carter a heads up about Simmons and Quinn."

"Thank you." He hung up with Fusco before immediately calling Ms. Shaw.

"What Finch?"

"Have you talked with Elias yet?"

"No, he's a no show." she stated angrily, that wasn't like Mr. Elias. Unless Elias didn't trust Shaw which could be, she did pull a gun on him the last time they met up with one another. "Who is the new number?"

"Quinn and Simmons."

"Oh." Shaw sounded unimpressed. Just like Detective Fusco, he knew no one cared much for their lives, but if they could catch this new group in the act, maybe they could protect Mr. Reese.

"Ms. Shaw, I know that you do not care for their lives, but they might be our only hope of finding out who this new group is. We need to save them."

"Personally I want to take some popcorn for the show, and then stop this new group from getting away after they have done the deed."

"Ms. Shaw you do not get to act as the judge, jury, and executioner. Yes these people are truly terrible, I agree, but you do not get to decide what punishment they get." Finch stated firmly.

"Fine, I'll go get eyes on them since I was stood up."

"I'm having a hard time locating them, I have their home addresses, I tried to hack into Mr. Quinn's itinerary so far no luck."

"Get me one of their addresses then; maybe I can find information at one of their homes and wait for the guy to show up."

"Yes, I'll get you Mr. Quinn's address, I'll call Detective Fusco to accompany you on your stakeout."

"We need eyes on both of them Finch, maybe you and Carter can take Simmons?"

"What about Mr. Reese?"

"I'm sure he'll be safe, he's hidden away."

"The machine doesn't give his number for no reason Ms. Shaw."

"I know, but we need eyes on both these men if we are to save them right? I can't leave you alone without any backup."

"Alright," he sounded hesitant. She wasn't sure if it was because he had to work with the detective and they were still resolving a lot of issues between them or because it meant leaving John alone. "I'll send in some reinforcements to sit with Mr. Reese while we seek out these new numbers."

"Text me the address."

* * *

"Nice digs, John." John stared at the door longingly, not for the first time since Joss and Finch had left him. When Joss and Finch got back here, he was going to give them a piece of his mind for leaving him with Leon Tao.

"What are you doing here, Leon?" Bear followed Leon around the loft while he looked at everything. He better not swipe anything of Taylor's or Joss's or he would have to kick his ass.

"Oh you know a little of this and that; Finch told me that you were laid up and I wanted to come see you." Leon grinned eyeing the place. He turned to a long look at Reese. "You are definitely laid up! No wonder you can't come save me and he sends the crazy hot chick to do it."

"Leon, I told you I would be on vacation."

"Yeah I thought you meant to like Jamaica or the Caribbean somewhere, not some dark hole where you got tortured."

"Why are you here?" he demanded again. He didn't buy it that Leon just wanted to come see him and strike up a friendship. Even if that was the case, Finch wouldn't have risked bringing him over here. No, something else was going on and he was going to find out what. He eyed Leon as the man shifted, his eyes looking anywhere but at him. "You know Leon, I might still be a little weak but I can still kick your ass."

"You know you still have a bad attitude sometimes; we're friends, can't a guy come see his friend to wish him to get well?"

"Not you, Leon."

"Okay fine, you win! God, no wonder why your friend calls you the crabby commando; look, your hot detective and Finch asked me to come sit with you. They asked me not to tell you, so I wasn't going to but you beat it out of me."

"I do not need a babysitter and one especially one that comes in the form of you."

"You know I have feelings, John."

"Why are they hell bent on not leaving me alone?"

"Your hot detective said that you left the apartment without her knowledge and she was a little worried that while they were all out saving the day, you'd get a little restless. She says that you are sometimes unmanageable; I think that's an understatement of the century; anyways she asked me to come by here until her kid came home."

"God, hurry up Taylor."

"In the meantime we can catch up on things." He clapped his hands together with a smile as he eyed him. "You want me to sign your casts?"

"No."

"You are seriously not a lot of fun John; I need to loosen you up." Leon grinned hurrying around to grab the handles of his wheelchair.

"I'm never going to speak to Finch or Joss ever again," he griped.

"Oh come on, they knew there were a ton of things we needed to catch up on."

"There is nothing we need to catch up on, Leon."

"Not true, like what's the deal between you and the hot detective?"

"There is no deal, Leon," Leon sat down beside him on the sofa chair, eyeing him quizzically.

"For real? She's hot, you're living together, what are you, an eunuch?" John glowered at Leon wishing he could throw the irritating man out. "Never mind, you just need to get in the game again."

"I'm not taking dating advice from a guy that thought he was in love with a woman named Candy."

"Hey, Candy and I were a match made in heaven…until she sold me out for money. John, you need a hot and sexy woman to take care of you."

"I do not need to be taken care of."

"Look John, I'm just saying, that finding a hot chick to jump your bones might make you a little less-well you know."

"No, make me a little less what?" he demanded.

"Crazy, tense, I could go on but you get the picture, John, you need to relieve some pent up frustrations."

"Please leave," he almost pleaded. This was a new form of torture, possibly worse then what he'd been through.

"Oh come on John, we're talking man to man! Before you looked like Casper the friendly ghost, women flocked to you." John eyed the door wistfully. "You could have any hot chick you wanted, including the hot detective." He sighed looking back at Leon.

"Listen Leon, nothing is going on between Joss and I, we are just friends."

"So I can ask her out?" John leaned back in his wheelchair a little before a slow mischievous smile filled his face deciding to have a little fun of his own.

"I can't see why not, she enjoys a good chase. If she says no, just keep asking and asking. I didn't want to say anything, but she enjoys lame pickup lines, boring conversation, and guys that talk about themselves all the time."

"Really? I thought most women found that annoying."

"Not Joss, she eats it up like catnip. Yeah, you know what Leon, I had a change of heart, how about you stay here until Joss comes back."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll even help you get Joss under the mistletoe." He pointed to the mistletoe hanging over his bedroom door. Leon grinned rubbing his hands together. John just smirked.

* * *

"You know, Lady Rambo, I do have a life that doesn't include being summoned by Oz all the time." Fusco griped. They sure the hell didn't seem to think he had any real job to do, did they? He had to cut out early. He and Carter were tasked with Terney's murder, so far no leads and the captain was breathing down their necks. They had been sitting outside of Quinn's place for what seemed to be hours with no luck. Four eyes was still looking for where Quinn was on his magical laptop and Simmons was hard to track himself. He had called in some favors down at his old precinct, but turned up nothing.

"Tell me everything you can about your partner and John's relationship that you know," Shaw said without turning to look at him while she looked through the binoculars. He eyed her.

"I finally get the mute to talk and you want to talk about that? Why? You got the joneses for wonder boy too?" She pulled the binoculars away and he could swear he saw a smile on her face. Did hell freeze over, not only was Lady Rambo talking, but smiling as well!

"No, I do not have the joneses for Reese, though he is easy on the eyes."

"Yeah well, you couldn't compete anyway. No offense, G.I. Jane."

"Why is that?" She didn't sound offended, just curious.

"Carter has the crabby commando's undivided attention. Even back when she was just an annoying cop that wanted to throw his ass in jail, you couldn't touch her." Fusco had been annoyed with his job of watching Carter for wonder boy. Carter had seemed uppity to him at the time and it was so far out of his damned way, but now he wouldn't have it any other way. Carter was his partner but more than that she was his friend.

"John had a thing for her since he met her?"

"I'm not sure if you call it a thing, he's just over protective, that's all. Why are you so interested all of a sudden?" Fusco demanded.

"Just wondering."

"Yeah and I'm a model for GQ; why are you interested wonder woman?" Shaw eyed Fusco realizing he was a lot smarter than she pegged him for. She was wondering because she had a sinking suspicion about the machine's motives as to why it was giving Carter John's number.

She was insane to even think it, but she couldn't help but think it. Finch claimed the machine viewed both him and John as the new admin which meant it cared for John. God she was hanging out with Finch too much, but it was an artificial intelligence, which meant it acted and could think, so that meant maybe it felt like Carter was John's protector? She couldn't figure it out, but if the machine had been watching John before he became the new co-admin, it would know of his feelings for the detective; it could be the reason as to why the machine was giving John's number to her. The machine knew Carter would care for him and protect him.

"I think John and the detective might share a more than friendly connection," she stated carefully; she couldn't tell the detective her real reason as to why she wanted to know.

"Yeah well I never viewed you as a matchmaker."

"I'm not, personally I think caring for someone as much as John does for Carter is an opportunity for his enemies to gain an advantage on him."

"How so?"

"Easy, harm Carter, harms John-she's his Achilles heel, while if you don't feel anything for anyone you only have to worry about yourself."

"Like you?"

"Like me."

"Look wonder woman, as much as you claim you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself, you're lying."

"Oh I am?"

"Yeah, because you care about four eyes and the crabby commando." Shaw shifted her gaze off the home to Fusco. She suddenly realized just how much she had underestimated this man, which she presumed happened a lot. One look at Detective Lionel Fusco and you would think he is soft, easily manipulated, and not all that bright. But he was much more to it than that, she found herself impressed. Reese did good by bringing him in as an asset.

"Reese and Finch saved my life." Fusco nodded, they had a penchant for doing that. Fusco owed his life to Reese and Finch too. They did the same with Carter, they had a knack for saving lives, he had a feeling saving their own didn't matter as much to them as saving others.

"When is this guy going to come back? We have been sitting here waiting for him for hours now? Are you sure you couldn't find where he was?"

"Before you got here Fusco, I checked in his home, searching for any clues as to where he would be for the day, there isn't anything. If this guy really is the head of HR, he doesn't want anyone to know what he does during the day, even his office hasn't seen him lately."

"Yeah, well we need to call Mr. Vocabulary because sitting here doing nothing ain't cutting it." Shaw had to agree, it wasn't.

* * *

"You think it will work if John gets suspicious of the cover story we told Leon to tell him?"

"I hope so detective, John can be very mistrusting of people."

"Yeah well, I hope he doesn't think of it too much or too hard or he'll figure us out; he'll know that he's in danger again without us even needing to tell him."

"The more important question is will he forgive us for leaving him with Leon Tao for much of the afternoon and evening?" Joss chuckled a little to herself.

"Good question." It was a little unusual for her to be sitting in her car with Finch beside her on a stakeout in the field, trying to save a man that had probably helped kill Szymanski and Beecher. "Finch?"

"Yes, detective?"

"Do you think it's the right thing to do to save these men; they've killed so many people?"

"You know the answer to that, detective. It is the same reason as why you couldn't allow Elias to be killed." She nodded slightly.

"I do, I can't sit back idly and allow them to bite a bullet; but I can't help but think of Szymanski and his family, or Beecher and his. They weren't shown the same courtesy; they were killed for doing the right thing."

"I'm sorry detective, I'm truly sorry for your loss, for everything." she shifted her gaze onto him, eyeing him hearing the unspoken apology for casting her aside during the time she needed him. Finch was going to continuously beat himself up for that and apologize wasn't he?

"I know you are, stop apologizing I've already forgiven you for it Finch. Besides I'm the one that needs to apologize." She watched as his brows furrowed.

"What could you possibly have to apologize for, detective?"

"I said some hurtful things to you in anger. I was scared, I was so scared I would never see John again and I took it out on you." Tears filled her eyes. "I had no right to say those things I said to you, and for that I hope you can forgive me."

"As I said detective, you have nothing to apologize for; we were both scared and worried about John. We both did things we aren't proud of during that time, but its all water under the bridge now." She nodded, looking back out with the binoculars at Simmons' place. "I do need to ask you something though, detective," he said quietly after a moment. She pulled the binoculars away from her eyes.

"What?"

"What is going on between you and John?" Now that was a million dollar question. One she didn't have a great answer for, defining exactly what she felt for John was too complicated at the moment. If she allowed herself to name it, she would call it love, but her head stubbornly refused to let her name it. However, she was shocked that Finch seemed to realize something was happening between herself and John, which she allowed to show on her face. She guessed she shouldn't be so stunned that Finch picked up on her feelings for John, the man was highly intelligent.

"Uh-"

"Detective, I'm not here to pass judgment. John is free to date whoever he wishes, as you are as well. I guess it's idle curiosity."

"I care a lot about John; things between us are a bit complicated, Finch."

"I see."

"Our relationship, whatever it is, will not get in the way of him doing his purpose if that's what you think. I know what he does, he saves a lot of lives, and I will never stand in his way of him doing that."

"You're a good woman, Jocelyn Carter."

"I just worry about him because he thinks of other's lives before he thinks of his own." she paused for a moment collecting her thoughts. "I guess we have to wait and see where things go for us."

"Detective, might I give you a word of advice about Mr. Reese?" She sighed, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to tell her to stay away, John was too much of an emotional basket case to deal with a woman. She hid her emotions as she eyed Finch.

"What?"

"He's lived a very hard life, if you are not sure you can handle being with him, loving him for who he is, then you need to step back. John needs someone to love him fully, flaws and all. He would offer you nothing less than that and he deserves the same." She smiled.

"I agree wholeheartedly, Finch." Their eyes both strayed back to the house they were watching. "So, have you found where Simmons is?"

"Not yet." She sighed. "Detective?"

"What Finch?"

"Detective Fusco contacted me earlier about something that was upsetting you, about a photo missing from your desk."

"Fusco talked to you about it?"

"Yes, please do not be angry with him or with me for what I'm about to say, but I'll look into it for you."

"What are you talking about- 'you'll look into it?' How?"

"Before you began helping us, you were dead set on finding John to arrest him. Well, we had gotten your name from our source and we needed a way to get eyes on you." She nodded, wondering about where this conversation was going.

"Let me guess-you have something on my desk that captures video?" she demanded. She was slightly angry, but far more curious as to what lengths John and Finch went to, to protect her during that time.

"It's actually on Detective Fusco's desk, turned to face yours; it's a little police figurine." She blinked her eyes.

"Wow, I remember messing with Fusco about it; he said he got it from his kid."

"It has a micro-camera inside it, and Fusco has left it on his desk."

"Why? You don't trust me?"

"No, it's nothing like that; it's to keep an eye on you and Detective Fusco while in the precinct. There are a lot of dirty cops there." She swallowed her anger, realizing that was the truth. There probably were more dirty cops than legit ones and knowing John, he wanted to keep eyes on her to make sure no one messed with her.

"So you might have tape of who was at my desk, rifling through my things?"

"Yes, but I was only hoping to seek your assistance in a time frame or I wouldn't have brought it up at all."

"Yeah, well I'm glad you did. It was after I spent all day looking for Terney's death. I got back to the office the next day and saw things moved around."

"Anything other than the photo missing?"

"Nothing of importance since I can't tell if anything else was missing, but the keys to the file cabinet were moved around."

"Did you check to see if a folder was missing?"

"Finch do you have any idea HOW many folders are in there, I can't remember them all." Finch sighed as he continued to fiddle with his laptop, she was right.

"I see. Wait I got something, detective."

"What?"

"Simmons' cruiser, he checked out, he seems to be on a call east of Central Park." Joss furrowed her brows. Why would HR's right hand man even consider going? He was as dirty as they got. As John said, they aren't ones to actually be first on the scene unless it was HR related business. "The troubling issue, it never went through dispatch."

"Let's go!" Joss drove while Finch gave her instructions. "Has Shaw or Fusco seen a peep from Quinn yet?"

"Not yet detective; from the texts I've received from Shaw she's getting impatient too." Joss felt the same way as Shaw then at this moment. She was impatient; she wanted to get this over with. Save this filth's life, then figure out a way to send them packing to prison for murdering Beecher and Szymanski. "Here, detective." Joss pulled up to an old looking, rundown former office building. It was on the chopping block, she knew it was scheduled for demolition sometime next month.

"Here? No one ever comes here." She pulled her gun out of her holster. "Finch, stay in the car."

"Be careful detective, I'll call Detective Fusco and Ms. Shaw to head over for backup." She nodded before she slid from her car. Joss felt the blood pump through her veins as she quietly got to the front entrance. She held the gun in her right hand, as she turned the knob before pushing open the heavy door. Joss entered slowly, shifting her eyes looking around the abandoned property. Joss heard a rustling noise in the back, breath quickened through her nostrils as she moved further back. She heard the sound of a window breaking. Joss rushed to the last room on the first floor, swinging in the doorway aiming her weapon. "NYPD!" she shouted. A man that had a circular tattoo on his neck paused from getting out of one of the many windows lining the right wall. She saw another running from the building but it was so dark she couldn't get a description of him.

Her eyes zeroed in on the one she had hanging half out of the broken window. She had one; he could be their ticket at finding where this Kilpatrick man was, who they were, and why they wanted John and Harold. He aimed his weapon at her, and began firing. Joss hid behind the wall, hearing the bullets hitting close by. Joss popped out firing her weapon back aiming for and clipping the man twice in the leg as he struggled to get through the window. The screams filled the air, as blood pooled out of his knee. "DROP YOUR WEAPON NOW!" she shouted.

He screamed in agony as he did as she said, going to grab his leg. Joss moved from her perch near the wall, moving forward into the room, when bullets began riddling the wall where the man was hanging half out of the window. Joss ducked down with a loud shout, putting her hands over her head as the building was being shot full of bullets, the other windows shattering as bullets sprayed through the glass from a weapon that had to be a machine gun.

"CARTER!" she could hear Fusco and Shaw shouting from behind her.

"GET DOWN!" she screamed. When finally the bullets stopped hailing was when she finally lifted her head up, getting up on to her hands and knees. Joss tried to see the getaway car but it was dark, and was driving way too fast to get a license plate. Her eyes slid to the man that she clipped. "NO, NO, NO!" she slammed a fist into the dirty carpeted floor when she saw the man that had been hanging half out the broken window lying on the ground with bullets riddling his body. Blood poured out of him from two bullet holes in his head.

Shaw, Finch, and Fusco appeared beside her, breathing as heavy as she was. Joss finally looked to the left of the building seeing Quinn tied to a chair with a knife stuck in his chest and Simmons was on the ground beside him with his throat slashed. Joss slid her gaze to the man with the tattoo, knowing he was killed because he had been their best chance at learning everything they needed to know.

* * *

"Boss, we have a problem." He sat in his office chair, his back to the door, eyeing the outside world. Everyone was probably with their families having a wonderful time together with the holiday drawing near. He slowly turned his swivel plush leather chair around to eye one of his many men. This one was extremely loyal-Javier. Janet was standing behind him, looking upset.

"Sir, I know you stated you wished not to be disturbed but Javier would not listen," Janet explained angrily. He waved her off.

"It's alright, Janet." she nodded, sending Javier a look before she left. "Next time you do not ignore that woman, she means a lot to me is that understood?" when his man nodded his head is when he spoke again. "What do you want Javier? This better be good since Ryder has already informed me of Quinn and Simmons' murders and the fact that he had to sacrifice Troy for the good of what we do?"

"Our man, Officer Hernandez, just reported to me that Ms. April McGee was released a few days ago."

"What?" he demanded sitting straight up in his chair.

"Yes, it seems the detectives on the case proved her innocence."

"HOW?! It was full proof."

"It seemed that April McGee had a physical handicap that was unforeseen."

"What, what handicap? She never had a handicap previously!"

"She got into a car accident, a bad one; it left her right hand paralyzed she cannot use it for anything. The men made her fire the weapon with her right hand per your specifications." He slammed his fists hard onto his desk causing things to jump.

"Why am I just learning this?" he bellowed.

"It was just leaked out, the detectives on the case hid it from everyone in case of dirty cops learning the information. They made sure April McGee, her mother and step-father were safely placed in witness protection before it was allowed out about her being released."

He shook with rage. "Find them and kill them."

"Yes sir." Javier exited without another word.

He immediately stabbed his finger onto the intercom. "Janet, my office, now!" he growled in anger.

"Yes sir," Janet entered his office a few minutes later.

"Shut the door," he commanded and she nodded. He stood up feeling unrest as he gulped the rest of his scotch down.

"Mr. Kilpatrick, are you alright?"

"No, I'm not Janet. My plan of revenge on everyone that destroyed me isn't going as expected," he growled as he kept his back from her. He felt her hands on his shoulders.

"It'll be okay, your plans for this state are going exceedingly well. Yes, we lost one of our own, but it was sacrifice that was well worth it. HR's leader is dead and the same with his right hand men." he whirled around wrapping his hand around her neck, before flinging her against the wall. She grabbed at his hand.

"Yes, yes all the other aspects of my plans are coming true, but the people that deserve to die, that deserve to feel the pain I went through, hasn't worked. They need to pay for what they did to me." He squeezed her neck tighter in his hand before he let go of her. "That little bitch was supposed to go to prison, she was supposed to know what it felt like when you lose everything. She was supposed to know what it felt like being imprisoned. Her and her fucking mother were supposed to feel what it was like, they abandoned me when I needed them." Janet gasped a little and eyed him.

"Your ex-wife and daughter will now pay with their lives instead; just as Harold will once we can lure him out with John Reese's death. Your plans are coming together. Don't lose focus now, you just need more patience, and you'll get everything you want and more." He shook a little feeling the rage that his personal agenda wasn't where he wished it to be. Janet had a calming effect on him though. He eyed his secretary.

"Yes, you're quite correct." He felt a little better now. Janet reached down between them, touching him. He closed his eyes as she caressed him. He smiled before reopening his eyes to stare down at her. "You like it when I get rough with you, don't you?" he stated before he kissed her, pinning her against the wall with his body this time. Janet brought her small body against his her hands on his ass. She pushed out of the kiss.

"Yes, I worship you, Isaac." he grinned before tracing his tongue across her neck on the tattoo.

"Prove it." he whispered in her ear.

"Anything for you,"

"On your knees," he demanded. She smiled hauntingly as she slowly got to her knees in front of him.

* * *

Joss felt an indescribable feeling, half of her felt like a failure for not being able to save the man's life that could quite possibly have lead them to the men that took John. But the other half, the half that eyed the man, wondered if he was one of the men that had tried to break John, that tried to destroy the man she cared for, and she felt nothing. It scared her. She always felt something when she looked at the dead bodies, even if they were criminals, she would think of the life they could have had. But when she eyed the three dead men in that old office building, Joss truly felt nothing. Then guilt and failure kicked in. Had she just been able to save the man that had been trying to get out the window, then they might have had a lead on where the guy was at that ultimately wanted to harm John and Finch.

Joss, Shaw, Finch, and Fusco all had gone to a bar talking, thinking, scrambling, and worrying. The head of HR was just murdered; E.J. and Officer Hernandez had been the first uniforms to arrive on scene. The captain had assigned Bates and Freeman to the homicides of Quinn and Simmons. She had told the detectives all that she knew which was limited at best. She and Fusco gave their written statements and had gone to meet up with Shaw and Finch. Their shoulders had a slump to them as well. It was important for them to have at least caught one of these men red handed. They could have flipped him, learned what they needed to, but no such luck. Joss walked towards the front door of apartment she shared with John, wishing the alcohol buzz around her brain would fade. Joss struggled with the door before yanking it open.

The apartment was quiet, Taylor must be in bed, Leon was long gone and John was probably asleep from his pain medication. Joss flicked the light switch on and gasped when she saw John sitting on the couch, staring intently at the door, his face a mask of his emotions.

"Welcome home, Joss," his words sounded inviting, his tone however was cold. She stumbled a bit before she shut the door and locked it.

"Why aren't you asleep?" she asked, focusing on each word to make sure not a single slur happened. She didn't want John to know how impaired she actually was from their stop at the bar. She was grateful to Finch for getting her a cab home. Joss stumbled and bumped into the coat rack, John's eyes narrowed on hers before he struggled to get off the couch. "Sit," she ordered but John shot her a deathly look.

"You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"Why are you drunk, Joss?" he demanded as if he didn't hear a word she said.

"None of your business, John, and besides I'm not drunk." she snapped trying with all her might to get her jacket off without face planting. Tears welled up in her eyes when she couldn't even achieve that. A sob escaped her and she hated it. She hated herself for allowing their only lead to die.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," she whispered, keeping her eyes from him. She felt his presence closer, could feel him near her, and she turned to pin him with a glare. "Go to bed, John, this doesn't concern you."

"You're crying, it concerns me."

"I can't get my jacket off." She struggled with it. All the rage she felt for the past few months seeped out of her as she yanked, squirmed, and flailed trying desperately to work her coat off. She let out a loud sound that she wasn't even sure was hers. Joss found herself in his arms. He was standing up, and she clung to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, buried her face into his chest and breathed him in. The tears that flowed down her cheeks, the rage inside her seeped all away as she held onto him. She felt calm as she felt his hot skin against hers. John was alive, here with her, breathing. The soft steady thump of his heart was what she focused on. John continued to hold her, not saying an empty platitude, instead his quiet resolve was what soothed her the most.

"Is mom okay?" Joss heard her son's voice filtered through her brain but she couldn't move away from John, she couldn't open her mouth to speak a word even if she tried.

"Your mother is alright; go back in your room, Taylor." Joss clutched John tighter to her and he let her. She was being selfish; John was recovering, needed her strength and instead he was being strong for her. "What happened?" his soft whisper in her ear slowly pulled her back into reality. Joss stepped back from his warmth, seeing he was placing all his weight on his one good leg.

"Sit-please, before you fall, John," her voice was barely audible.

"Only if you promise to tell me what happened?" She nodded her head curtly, willing to do anything to get him to sit down, John slowly sat back down in his wheelchair and she moved with him to the couch. Joss sat down, waiting for John to sit down beside her, while Bear curled up by their feet. "What happened?"

"Finch, Fusco, Shaw, and I had two people to try to save. Fusco and Shaw took one of them, while Finch and I took the other."

"Okay, is that why you stuck me with Leon?"

"Yeah, I was worried you would become restless and follow." She looked down at her hands, hating that she was lying to him. But she needed to protect him, his number came up, he was in danger. She closed her eyes when the room felt unsteady, really wishing she hadn't drank so much.

"Who were they?"

"Alonso Quinn and Patrick Simmons."

"The men that work for this Kilpatrick killed them, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but I messed up." she blinked the hot tears away.

"How?"

"I had one of Kilpatrick's men in my sights, John. I clipped him, I was going to arrest him, and that's when his partner in crime shot up the place."

"Are you alright, you weren't injured?"

"No, I wasn't injured, I ducked down, but I didn't pull the bastard in that was hanging half out of the window that I clipped. I put my hands over my head like a damned coward and lost the only chance to find out where these men originate from. I lost my only chance to protect you and Harold." She put her forehead in her hands and cried again. "I failed and I can't help but think I'm going to lose you because of it." Joss felt herself being tugged back into his arms, finding herself unable to stop crying this time. She allowed him to hold her while she sobbed the past nine horrible months away. She had held it in, never wanted to cry, afraid if she started to cry she would never stop. She wanted to concentrate on finding John, to concentrate on getting HR for Szymanski and Beecher, all the while she pushed aside her own pain. Now everything was even more messed up than before. The lid on her emotions had popped off and she couldn't stop it. Joss silently cried while he gently held her, not saying a word for a while.

"Joss, listen, you did nothing wrong," his soft voice penetrated her anguished haze. She slowly pulled from his warm embrace to eye him. His beautiful light blue eyes were intense as he reached up, brushing her tears away with his fingertips. "You protected yourself," he whispered.

"At your expense," her voice rough as the raw emotions filled her. How could he be so compassionate? She messed up, which could not only cost him his life but Harold his as well.

"No, not at my expense Joss, you did the right thing."

"No, I didn't." She shook her head. "I should have done more, I needed to do more, and I didn't."

"If you didn't duck down your son wouldn't have a mother; you did the right thing." Joss stared directly into his eyes, seeing the truth in them. "Taylor needs his mother."

"And I need you." Joss pulled away, pushed off the couch, feeling overwhelmed right now. "I'm drunk and I'm hurting right now; just please forget I said anything."

"Don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong by protecting yourself."

"But that's just it, I did. I needed to save that man's life-I needed to keep him alive so he could lead us to who took you." She whirled around, hating he wasn't hearing her. "I didn't want to keep him alive for any other reason, just for him to help us."

"Joss, even if you did save this guy, what makes you think he'd tell you anything? If he is so aligned with this guy that wants Finch, what makes you think he'd give up anything?" Joss didn't want to hear it. She grabbed her phone, pulling it out, finding the photo of the dead man she took. Fusco had tried to stop her, knowing why she wanted it, but she wouldn't let him.

"Is he one of them?" she demanded, throwing the phone to John; it bounced on the couch beside him. He didn't pick it up or look at it. "Look at him-" she pointed at the phone, "-and tell me, is he one of the men that tortured you?"

"Why would it matter?"

"Tell me!" Joss didn't even recognize her own voice, she would be embarrassed about this tomorrow, but right now she couldn't control the need in her. She ached so badly inside.

"I don't know if I can, I don't remember much of who did that to me, Joss." She shook her head.

"You're a liar! Look at the photo, John. Tell me if that man tortured you." She pointed at the phone, feeling the tears fill her eyes all over again. John's soft gaze never left her.

"It doesn't change anything, Joss."

"Yes it does, LOOK AT IT!" She sat down pushing the phone into his hand. She trembled and he just quietly watched her.

"Why? Why would it change anything if I confirm or not that this man tortured me?"

"Because I don't feel anything and it scares me, John!"

"So if I say he didn't torture me would you feel anything? Would it make a difference if he was one of my torturers or not?" She didn't know, all she knew was she needed to know one way or another if this man hurt John. "Joss, its okay to not feel sorry about their deaths, you're not a bad person for not feeling anything for his death, or Quinn's, or Simmons. They hurt you, they took people you cared for away from you, it's okay to hate them. Embrace it, get angry because if you don't the agony you're placing on yourself will eat you whole. I know, I lived it." Joss stared into his eyes seeing the empathy in them, knowing he lived through what she was right now. But she needed to know.

"Please, John, I need to know." John finally looked at her phone, before looking back into her eyes. She couldn't see anything in them that would tell her yes or no. "Was he?" she whispered, afraid of either answer John would give her.

"Yes." Her heart cracked in half. She didn't realize she was crying again until John's form blurred in front of her. "He's one the men that tortured me. Does that make it easier for you to hate him?"

"Yes," she sobbed, putting her head in her hands, as her body heaved.

"Does it make you feel anything?"

"No,"

"Does it make you sorry you didn't save him?"

"NO!" Sob after sob escaped her. "But I needed too and I let him die." She shuddered, wondering if she allowed that man to die on purpose. Oh god, did she not save him because she knew in the back of her mind he had hurt John? Bile rose in her throat, her stomach lurched, and she stood up running for the bathroom. She was a killer…

Joss barely made it to the bathroom before she lost it. She retched so hard she thought she was throwing up her heart. Tears sprinkled the toilet seat while she gagged. Joss held onto the porcelain toilet while the contents of her stomach spewed out. When she was finished vomiting Joss weakly pulled down the flusher, hearing the swish of water and gurgle as it went down. She laid her head on the seat, her body still heaving as sobs escaped her. She stared blankly at the door where John appeared. He was leaning against the doorframe using it as a crutch. Bear weaved in, and silently laid beside her with his head on her thigh. John grimaced as he slowly lowered himself to the cool beige swirled tiled floor of the bathroom. Joss couldn't even muster enough in her to reprimand him. John kept his injured leg straight while he pulled himself with his upper body till he was sitting against the cabinet in the bathroom beside her.

"Did I let him die, because I knew in the back of my mind he hurt you, John? I knew these men hurt you, did I not do enough on purpose? Did I purposely let him die? Am I a killer?" Joss felt her body relax, the sobs quieted down, and she had no more tears left. She was spent. She just silently watched John watch her. She saw emotion in his eyes before he leaned closer to her.

"It's not your fault, you did what was right. If you hadn't ducked down you would have been shot. If circumstances were different I know that you would have saved that man's life, Quinn's, or Simmons', no matter the pain and agony they have brought to you. Because Joss, you're a good, moral, exceptional woman and you know deep down inside you that you would have saved him had you been able to. Even if you hated his guts, even if you felt nothing at all, you would have saved him if you could have." His fingertips brushed her wet cheeks. "It's easy to allow grief, pain, and guilt to control you, but honestly you did nothing wrong. You do not need to be my savior," he whispered it so quietly. She shook her head grasping his fingers in her hand.

"Yes I do, because I can't go through that again." Joss lifted her gaze to his. She couldn't lie to herself anymore. She slowly pulled her head from the toilet to eye him more fully. John handed her a bottled water he must have brought with him. She took it gratefully swishing the remnants of her vomit before spitting it into the toilet before flushing the toilet again. Joss took a small sip of the water, before wiping her face, inhaling oxygen through her mouth, her nose was all stuffed up from crying. She shifted her gaze onto him. "I can't lose you again, it nearly killed me." Joss stared at him helplessly, seeing the hauntingly beautiful blue hues shudder as he realized what she meant.

"You're drunk, upset, and you don't know what you're saying right now," he said gruffly.

"Yes I do, you're disappearance hurt me in a way no one else's did, John. Thinking you were dead nearly killed me."

"Stop, Joss," the words were desperate sounding, she knew he was trying to stop her from saying it, wishing she wouldn't, but she couldn't stop. She couldn't think of what was best for him right now, she couldn't keep it inside her anymore.

"John, I'm in-." He shook his head and put a few of his fingers on her lips to shush her.

"Shhhh, don't." His eyes were closed as he continued to shake his head. She shook his fingers off, not about to let him deny her.

"I'm in love with you, John." She watched carefully as her soft spoken words hung in the air. He reopened his eyes and she saw pain in them. Joss wished her love wouldn't cause him pain, even though she knew it would. John didn't think he was worthy of love.

"You're drunk." His eyes flickered away and she saw unshed tears fill his beautiful soulful eyes.

"Yes I am, but it won't change how I feel tomorrow or the next day, or any day after that, John. I love you and I don't fall in love easily." She watched in agony as the man she had fallen in love with flinched as if she struck him. He scrambled to get up. He was struggling, so was she, she was a little tipsy, but she had sobered up real fast as they had talked. They both finally got themselves on their feet; John was placing all his weight on his good leg. Joss sidestepped him swinging the bathroom door shut before he could escape, and leaned heavily against it. John just stared at her.

"I'll ask Finch to move me out," John said resolutely.

"Why? Because I'm in love with you?" she asked, watching him closely, seeing the affect her words were having on him. She saw the desperation to get away from her. "John you don't have to leave. I know you don't love me, not yet anyway." His eyes lifted to hers in shock.

"Joss, I shouldn't ever have gotten close to you."

"Now whose putting guilt where guilt shouldn't be? You didn't make me fall in love with you, John. I fell in love with you because you're easy to love." She smiled softly, feeling better since talking to him about the dead guy and about the feelings she had been hiding for oh so long even from herself. She felt freer since actually acknowledging them, and ultimately speaking them.

"Stop."

"What? What's not to love, John?"

"How about all the things I've done in the past?"

"But I'm not in love with the man from the past, I'm in love with John Reese, the man that is standing here with me today. The man that is slowly healing from his past, his demons, from his emotional wounds he has just recently suffered. I love you, John; I love your mind, your body and your heart." She reached out, touching his chest where his heart thumped wildly underneath his soft white cotton t-shirt.

"You're drunk, you won't even remember this."

"I'm not expecting anything John, if that's what you're worried about."

"You're not?"

"We're friends, my loving you won't ever change that." No matter how much her heart yearned for more with him, she was content being his friend, his confidant, and just being around him. She loved him enough to not demand more than what he could give her. If he showed her the slightest inclination that he wanted more she'd be more than willing. "I promise not to ask more than what you can give." She took a small step towards him before she kissed his cheek. "I promise," she whispered before she turned and opened the door. They both needed time and space. She had to change and try to lay down to forget tonight's events with the men that died. But this, her declaration she wouldn't ever forget, and she wouldn't ever take it back.

* * *

Author's note: Poor Joss, had a mini meltdown, John isn't the only one bottling up his emotions...she was as well which she finally released, his turn comes up soon.

In the next chapter there is less heaviness happening, and more happiness as its the Christmas Eve chapter, the story just sort of speeds up after next chapter, and Edie comes back leaving our team a little unsettled with her perceptiveness.

Thank you as always everyone I appreciate it, and thanks again to you Elaine for proofing this for me, you made my day when you sent me back that latest chapter saying I needed to have a warning label I'll keep that in mind for when I post it :D


	16. Chapter 15

_**Author's note: Everyone should view this as a very early Christmas chapter hahahahahahahaha, and FYI, I wish I had a friend like Harold Finch :D My gutter ridden mind has ideas of Careese using mistletoe in an unique fashion...argh, I need to stop thinking in the gutter!**_

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Carter." Joss smiled as she stepped back to allow Fusco to enter their apartment with his son. She only had to now wait for Finch, Shaw, and Edie since her mother couldn't join them for Christmas Eve since she had already agreed to spending the day with her sister. Joss got her tomorrow however.

"Merry Christmas, Lionel." She slid the door shut and she turned to see that Fusco's son was already in awe over John. His kid looked up to Fusco.

"Dad, dad whose that?"

"That would be wonder-" she shoved her elbow into him a little which earned her a look. "That would be John, he's a friend of ours. This is my partner on the force, Detective Jocelyn Carter."

"Hi, you can call me Joss," she held out her hand for the kid to shake. He smiled before taking it.

"I'm Lee." Joss smiled before motioning for the boy and Fusco to follow her. John was sitting in the wheelchair with his leg stretched out in front of him, while Taylor sat beside him playing a video game. John was intensely looking into a folder on one of the several unsolved cases they had. Joss walked over to him before snatching the folder out of his hands, earning her a look. Joss wasn't working so neither was he. She saw it was Daniels/Armstrong file he had been staring at the sketch artist's drawing of the tattoo again.

"We have company, John, and its Christmas Eve, no work today." she stated before motioning to Lee. "Taylor pause the game." her son automatically did as she asked and looked.

"Lee, this is my son Taylor, and this is our friend John. Guys this is Lee, Fusco's son." John softly smiled at the kid who Lee seemed to be in awe at. His eyes flickered over John before turning to look at her son. "How about you, Lee, and John here play a video game while Fusco and I talk." Joss smiled sweetly; when John was about to say something he was thrown a controller. She grinned, she was going to force the man to loosen up. Taylor and Lee would surely distract him long enough to allow him some fun. It was Christmas, he could sulk later. She was worried about John, he'd been too engulfed in these files lately, especially the one with the drawing of the tattoo.

Ever since she had cried in his arms and told him she loved him, he had his head stuck in these files for hours. She wondered if he had been affected by seeing one of his torturers dead himself. She still couldn't shake that man's bloody image out of her head at night. Nor could she stop imagining what it would be like had she gotten a declaration of love in return from John. Though that one she kept strictly to herself; she wasn't about to let John in on how much she truly longed for him.

Fusco was staring at the scene from his position near the kitchen island, an armful of presents, and eyeing with a smirk on his face while she walked over in her high heels she rarely got to wear and the file tucked in her armpit.

"What? The man needed that, he's been wrapped in this file for three hours now," she stated as she flung it onto the countertop before pinning John with a look. He was stuck between two overly enthusiastic kids, while Lee and Taylor were both yammering to John about whatever game they were playing. It looked like some sort of racing game. John eyed her with a glare and she waved sweetly. "I'm worried, Fusco."

"No doubt, Mr. Happy seemed to have been so wrapped in the case file he hadn't even heard us come in."

"John's almost obsessed with figuring out the men with the tattoos, I think its all due to me."

"You, why?"

She looked at Fusco. "I was blaming myself not bringing in the guy with the tattoo, John was upset that I was feeling guilty. Now I think he's trying so hard to figure out who they are or any lead for that matter, to sort of ease my guilt."

"Carter, you have nothing to feel guilty over."

"I know that now, but that day, it was just a really bad day. He was our only shot and I felt like I blew it."

"We'll catch them before they can get the crabby commando or four eyes."

"I know, I won't let anyone touch John," she whispered fiercely, eyeing the man again while he was playing a game with Taylor and Lee. She brought her gaze back onto Fusco, seeing the look, but she didn't care. She didn't care who knew of her feelings for John. "We need to find these men, they are ruthlessly killing people and we haven't gotten a single lead on them. They killed Terney; I'm suspecting to send HR into a tailspin. They gunned down several Russians and Russian allies in random murders; now they had taken down the head of HR and who was most likely his right hand man. They killed Boyd Daniels and Maya Armstrong trying to pin it on April McGee, but why? Is there even a connection with Daniels and Armstrong to the rest of the murders?" Her eyes strayed to John who was eyeing them rather than the game. It appeared he could sense they were in a heated discussion. Joss was worried he would leave the game, they needed to wrap up talking about this before he got too suspicious.

"Not sure Carter, since Boyd Daniels worked in a lowly fast food joint and Maya Armstrong was his mistress."

"There has to be a connection, just what? Have you heard anything about Quinn and Simmons double homicide from Bates or Freeman?"

"Bates ran the tat man's DNA in the computer and came up with a hit."

"Who?"

"The name is Rocko Irving; I was going to give it to the little guy or Lady Rambo for their voodoo magic."

"This dead guy might be our only shot at finding these people to keep them from harming John or anyone else. They might have helped bring down HR, but these people need to be stopped. A mob war is on its way, no one this ruthless will just stop at murdering the Russians and HR. They'll attack anyone they think is a threat to their control. They still are looking to find John in hopes of luring Finch out." she lowered her voice. "It's the only thing that makes sense as to why John's number came up."

"You didn't tell Mr. Happy his number came up with their source, whatever the hell it is, did you?"

"No, he has no idea but he's been asking right and left. He knows I'm hiding something from him, I'm sure he's going to try to ask you, Finch and Shaw about it too."

"Well I'm going to tell him squat the less he knows the better for him. The guy has this hero complex."

"Yeah, don't I know it." She turned and saw John wheeling himself towards her, her sticking him with the kids worked for only ten minutes. Joss flicked a look to her son who looked apologetically at her. She was sure he was going to ask for the folder back but she was going to play keep away with it.

"So wonder boy, how you feeling?" Joss finally took the gifts that Lionel had in his arms. She was a little shocked that she saw a gift to her and her son. Joss hadn't realized he was going to get her anything, well lucky for her she had done the same thing. She walked to the Christmas tree and placed the gifts beneath the tree along with her's and Taylor's. When John had been asleep she advised Taylor to put John's in the back so he wouldn't know they had gotten him anything. She had noticed that Taylor's gift for John was a long rectangular box which meant he most likely got the man a sweater, thankfully. Although she would never view John in a sweater. Right now he was wearing all black loose fitting workout pants, and a dark gray t-shirt. The man was surly about not being able to dress up. Joss eyed herself in her clingy red dress, Taylor was wearing a green sweater with jeans, Fusco and his son was wearing just a dress shirt with some dress pants. Poor John probably felt underdressed. She moved over to where John and Fusco were. Her mind was still on John and how he was going to react to the presents he got. She hoped he wouldn't get too upset, she knew he wasn't going to be happy since she had gotten him something especially after her declaration of love a few days ago. But she didn't care. He was a part of their mini family whether or not he wanted it.

John and Fusco appeared to be in a conversation that she hadn't been listening to, since her thoughts had flown to John again, as their eyes came to hers. Uh-oh was she supposed to offer some input.

"Carter?"

"Yeah, sorry I have a lot on my mind." she said and she saw shadows cross on John's face. Damn it, she didn't want him to worry about her.

"The crabby commando was asking for me to tell him what it is we are hiding from him, plus to get him that folder back." She noticed Fusco had it in his hand, seemingly playing keep away as well. Thankfully for them, John was still too weak to hobble around too much on one leg, or surely he would've already gotten the file from them.

"John, no work, and no one is hiding anything from you," she lied, seeing if he really wanted a confrontation on Christmas Eve.

"Yes you are."

"You already know what it will take to get me to tell it to you." She knew he wouldn't tell her. She bet that John was sworn to secrecy by Finch so as long as that was her ace in her pocket she was going to use it. John's eyes narrowed looking downright hostile that he wasn't getting any answers. "Fusco, don't tell him."

"Don't worry I won't." Joss nodded happily when John's eyes flew from her to Fusco. "You can look like you want to kill me all you want, crabby commando, you're not finding out from me. Talk to the little guy." Joss watched as Fusco sidestepped John and made his way over to where Lee and Taylor were playing their video game. John glared at her, which she found adorable on the man because he couldn't get his way. Since she finally allowed herself to feel the love she had for him, she felt better. She felt more at ease between them. Sure, they were attracted to one another, and yes, she loved him mind, body, and soul, but she was okay with where they were as of right now.

"You're cute when you are giving me the evil eye," she grinned, which only made John's scowl worse.

"Joss, look, I know something is going on; I've known it for a few days now since before you left me with Leon and came back upset. Tell me." Joss leaned down, putting her hands on the armrests bringing their faces close.

"You mean you've known something was up since the day I told you how I feel about you?" His eyes bore into hers. "The day I told you I love you."

"Joss."

"Just because I'm not expecting anything doesn't mean I'm going to stop reminding you of it," she kept her voice low. "I love you John, and if I felt you needed to know what I'm keeping from you I would tell you in a heartbeat. You must know that. So trust me John, just as I trust in you." She straightened and moved away, knowing she left John reeling a bit. She eyed him, seeing the uncertainty on his face, knowing her reminding him of her love could backfire or it could get her everything she wanted. She could push him away with her constant reminding or John might just be able to heal enough inside from knowing of her love for him to love her in return.

* * *

Finch sighed as he limped his way towards the apartment where Mr. Reese and Detective Carter were staying. Ms. Shaw was walking beside him, quietly carrying bags full of gifts Finch had purchased for everyone. Finch loved Christmas, it was one of his favorite holidays, this one was especially special since he had gotten his gift early, when he knew John was back with them, alive. Finch was in a festive spirit so the gifts he got for everyone he cared for reflected that. Shaw was irritated that he purchased her anything, but she was in fact his employee and a friend, sort of, so of course he couldn't leave her out. The young Taylor Carter had been much harder to shop for then he anticipated, but he had found the perfect gift, hopefully one that Jocelyn Carter would not be upset by. The Fuscos were hard as well, but he thought both gifts were decent for the two. Jocelyn Carter's had been easy, although he knew she wasn't going to happy with it nor was she going to want to accept it. But he was sure he had Taylor's voice of reason on his side. John's however was the easiest. Shaw had known immediately why he had purchased the watch for Mr. Reese, he felt bad for breaking his other one from Mr. Pierce. So he was replacing it, but this time with his own GPS tracker to make sure he never lost John again. He would feel bad, but Mr. Reese had done the same thing to him with his glasses.

The holiday could only be hampered by the lack of movement in the cases, they had lost several of their numbers, and all of the cases that were surrounding them were still unsolved. The people that took John still remained elusive even though they had the name of the leader. Isaac Kilpatrick didn't show up anywhere he checked into. He hacked into several banks, no one with that name was with any of them. He looked everywhere, it appeared like the man was a ghost, or Isaac Kilpatrick was an illusion. Which he suspected was the case. Beecher and Szymanski's murders were still unresolved but the people that caused their deaths were dead themselves. He wondered how Detective Carter felt about that? That she wasn't the one to serve them their justice. Probably didn't make her feel any better since they were murdered by the same men that had tortured John to an inch of his life. The dead man Rocko Irving had been promising, they had hoped after finding a name to him would hold answers to the much bigger question, but they came up empty handed yet again. Rocko Irving proved to be useless in their search for answers on Kilpatrick, which meant they were back to square one all over again.

But Terney's, Quinn's, and even Simmons' attacks were easy to figure out, same with the Russians and any other allies to the Russians, Kilpatrick wanted control. What left Shaw, himself, and the detectives all stumped was the murders of Boyd Daniels and Maya Armstrong. It just didn't fit. Why kill them? Boyd Daniels worked at a fast food restaurant, cheating on his girlfriend. Boyd Daniels and Maya Armstrong were both into doing drugs from time to time but neither had a record. Why kill them and try to pin on the young woman? It was confusing, but it seemed like a focal point. If maybe they could learn why they were killed, maybe it would be a step closer to learning who this man truly was. If they could learn who he really was, then surely he would remember him, and know why he was out for revenge against him. He would then know why he had taken John, tortured him for information on where he was and why he was going to try to kill John. Finch and Shaw both suspected it was an attempt to lure him out, but they needed to find John first before they could harm him. He was taking every precaution to prevent that possibility.

Finch held the door open for Ms. Shaw when they finally made their way into the complex. He was looking forward to meeting this Edith Appleton that Jocelyn had requested him to send a car to pick up at the worst part of town. He spoke with her on the phone, she seemed like an extremely nice elderly woman. Finch couldn't help but purchase her a gift as well, besides sending a car over to pick her up. She seemed generally excited about being invited to a Christmas gathering, and he couldn't allow the elderly woman not to have a gift to open as well. He eyed his watch knowing she should be here any moment.

"Go ahead Ms. Shaw, I'm waiting for Edith Appleton."

"We'll wait together," Shaw stated. She was worried. She had steadily grown more worried about things when John's number came up again. Her stance was always defensive, especially as they were out in the open. After a few moments a black car arrived, and he smiled before exiting the building once more. He saw a tiny elderly woman make her way out of the car with the assistance of his driver from one of his many businesses. She held what appeared to be homemade apple pie.

"Hello, you must be Ms. Edith Appleton, I'm Harold Wren." He smiled warmly as he limped towards her. The small woman barely stood five foot, he was on the shorter side himself, but he had to look down to make eye contact. She had stark white, short hair that was in a perm, she weighed only a hundred pounds, and she was wearing a frilly white jacket. She had black pumps on her tiny feet, but it was her sharp blue eyes that unsettled him. She appeared to be in her mid eighties, she had glasses that were attached to a brown necklace that hung around her neck. The elderly woman smiled a little.

"Call me Edie, Mr. Wren."

"It's Harold, allow me to take that." she happily obliged to allow him to take the apple pie that smelled delicious and was still warm. They walked together slowly to the apartment complex where Shaw opened the door for them.

"Oh thank you young lady." she smiled kindly at Shaw, and Harold was shocked a little to see Shaw smile back at her.

"I'm Sam."

Edith Appleton paused to touch Shaw's cheek briefly. "Too young to have felt so much pain." Shaw wrenched her face away, slightly shocked. Harold eyed Shaw who looked unsettled as she walked in front of them. Harold felt Edith slide her hand onto his elbow as they walked together slowly. "She seems unnerved by my assessment." The little old lady sounded amused rather than put off by Shaw. But he couldn't say he blamed Ms. Shaw, he was a little unnerved by this woman himself.

"It's because Ms. Shaw is not used to having someone touch her with such maternal affection." It sounded like a plausible explanation.

"She's not the only one that has felt too much pain in their life." Harold shifted his eyes to the woman. "You also carry much guilt, pain, and heartache with you, Harold," she spoke softly. "It's not healthy." Finch had no idea how to respond to her. She was the most unusual woman he had ever met. Shaw had the door open, eyeing Edie with an odd expression. Edie however didn't seem upset by it as she entered. Finch saw Joss hurrying over towards them.

"Oh its so wonderful that you came, Edie." Joss grinned before wrapping her arms around the small woman.

"Oh Joss, I can feel love radiating out of you. You feel better but still are very weighed down." They parted and Joss eyed her for a moment before taking her jacket, hanging it up. Shaw entered and Joss shut the door before locking it. "Shaw, put the gifts under the tree." Ms. Shaw nodded as she walked away.

"Thank you for inviting me Joss, I'm having more fun than I had in years." Edie smiled, before laying a hand on her arm.

"Your welcome, I couldn't allow you to sit alone in your apartment on the holiday."

"You are very worried about him." Joss eyed the elderly woman. "I can feel your protection for him, even from me." Joss allowed confusion to flicker across her features. She eyed Finch but he shrugged a little. It seemed this woman was sensitive to their feelings, each time she touched them she spoke of what was ailing them or what they were feeling. It was definitely unnerving. "Now I must meet your John." Finch kept his expression neutral while he took the apple pie to the kitchen. Her John? It seemed the woman had picked up on the detective's feelings for Mr. Reese. Finch noticed John was in a discussion with Fusco in the back of the living room near the tree. Shaw had joined them, Taylor and Fusco's young son were seated around the television playing some video game. Finch noticed Joss hadn't taken her to go meet John, but rather her son and Fusco's child first. He wandered over to where John was and was decidedly intrigued to hear what Edith Appleton had to say to him.

"She's different." Shaw spoke, which Finch agreed with her assessment.

"What do you mean?"

"You'll know soon enough, John." she stated with a smirk that she may have been learning from John. It seemed like Edie was set on coming over to him, which Finch was relieved to see. Maybe Ms. Appleton might be able to give him some insight on what John was feeling. No one knew what he felt most of the time, he kept what he felt under lock and key. So maybe whatever Ms. Appleton felt and revealed could work in their advantage in helping John deal with what happened to him.

"Edith this is my partner and friend at the station Detective Lionel Fusco." Joss introduced first. "And this is John, my friend." Edith took Lionel's hand first.

"You are loyal to your friends, you wish for redemption, trust in your instincts and your heart, Mr. Fusco." Edith smiled at Lionel.

"Call me Lionel," he said thoughtfully before dropping his hand away from the elderly woman. Edith looked down at John. He reached out to shake her hand and when he did she closed her eyes. Finch had no idea what was going on, but she wouldn't let go of Mr. Reese's hand.

"Edie, are you alright?" Joss asked quietly while everyone else just looked on without saying anything. John was watching the elderly woman intently and Finch noticed tears streaking down the elderly woman's cheeks.

"Torment dogs you," she whispered as she reopened her eyes. "You feel as though you are a monster, that you belong in the dark where no love or light can shine to you." Finch noted John's shock, then he yanked his hand free of the woman's grip. "Overwhelming grief is inside you; I never felt so much pain in someone before. Your body needs healing, but so does your heart and soul."

"Who are you?" he demanded. Edith just merely smiled lightly at him, but didn't answer his question. She shifted her gaze between John and Joss before seeking a seat on the sofa chair.

"I told you she's different," Shaw whispered.

* * *

The night progressed without much of anything happening, but John still couldn't resolve the unrest he felt since Edith Appleton arrived. She must be a sensitive because there was no other way to describe how she could accurately know how he felt. He kept most of the things he felt to himself, it was how he liked it. But she had announced how he felt to the room. John noticed the way Edith kept looking between him and Joss. Great, the woman must surely have figured out there was something going on between them. John was still in shock that Joss claimed to be in love with him. He tried to put it out his mind. Joss however seemed hell bent on reminding him at every turn. John wasn't sure what to do, Joss said she wanted to remain friends, and take what he could offer. And friendship was all he could offer for a very long time. Edith Appleton sent him a smirk, making him realize he had been staring at Joss for much longer than necessary.

He had kept himself away from Edith, not allowing her to touch him through dinner, and throughout the evening. They had just finished opening gifts which were all slightly stunned. Lionel's son was still yammering to Lionel about their gifts, and Taylor looked shell shocked.

Lionel, and Lee were given season tickets to all the major sport teams in New York because Finch had not known which one to get so he decided to get them all for them. He gave them a suite for opening date for the Yankees' 2014-2015 season. Shaw and Edie both received new apartments. Edie had balled her eyes out in gratitude and Shaw had smiled which was practically the same as Edie's gratitude. Harold had been happy and looked like Santa Claus. The man truly enjoyed giving rather than receiving. But received is what he got. Joss, Taylor, and himself had all gone in to give Finch a five hundred dollar giftcard to Finch's favorite restaurant. Joss couldn't afford that, but he gladly placed the rest of the money in for his friend and savior. But the gift had lead to Harold scolding him for telling Joss where he enjoyed eating, which he blatantly ignored.

Taylor and Joss's presents to one another were sweet and loving. Joss had gotten her son a ton of video games and a gift card to the movies. Taylor had gotten her a beautiful necklace. John remembered Joss had been so sure it was a sweater, an expensive sweater, but the boy was sneaky, he wrapped the necklace in a large box, fooling her. Joss's eyes had tears in them while her son put the necklace around her neck. Then they opened Finch's presents. John thought Joss was going to kill Finch when Taylor received a key to a dark blue 2014 Ford Fusion. It was parked outside with a giant bow on it where Joss and Taylor had gone outside to take photos of. Joss's gift from Finch was the icing on the cake for her for wanting to kill Finch. He had gotten her ten 1000$ gift cards to Barney's New York Department store. Finch had reasoned with the detective that she never got to splurge on herself, that she deserved to do that once in a while.

John himself had been hoping no one got him anything, but to no avail. Taylor, Joss, and Finch all had gotten him something. The New York Knicks sports jersey was a sweet gesture, though he wasn't sure how often he would wear it. The kid was too attached to him, and he needed to pull back. Joss, had gotten him a six hour documentary about new military weapons which was very interesting looking. He hoped to watch it soon with her. He just wished they hadn't gotten him anything since he couldn't reciprocate, because he couldn't go shopping since he wasn't allowed to leave the damn apartment. They said 'Christmas was about giving not receiving' spiel and he had sighed. Finch's gift was a watch, a very expensive watch, one that he was sure cost more than Pierce's, and he half wondered if there was a GPS tracker in this one. He was pulled out of his musings when his name was called by Taylor. The evening was wrapping up, everyone had a piece of Edie's pie, Finch's car was coming soon to pick her up to take her back to her new apartment where her things had been moved too already.

"Hey Mr. Badass, where did you put your gift my mom got you?"

"In the bedroom." He motioned to where he slept.

"Can you go get it, I just want to read the back of the box?" Taylor asked as he sat with Lee Fusco. John was glad the kid hadn't offered to go get it himself. John was sick of people treating him like he was an invalid. At least Taylor was giving him some free reign here. Joss would surely go rush ahead to get it for him. John wheeled himself into the bedroom reaching over onto the bed to grab the documentary that was slung next to the jersey and watch. He turned around and wheeled himself to the doorway.

"Here you go Taylor," he paused when he saw Shaw smirking, blocking his exit. "What?" he demanded and she pointed up. He looked up and glowered when he saw that damned mistletoe still hanging there. John looked around Shaw seeing Shaw, Joss, and Edith all lined up. He looked at Taylor who was standing with Fusco, Finch, and Lee all laughing at him. "I was set up," he sighed, he should have realized Taylor was up to something. No one allowed him to move too much around.

"Hey its not our fault you're under mistletoe," Joss quipped. Shaw grabbed the armrests of his wheelchair while she smirked at him, she captured his mouth hard and fast. It didn't last long and she dominated it for the length she kissed him.

"Who knew I'd ever get to kiss you, John Reese," she moved out of the way, and before he could even attempt to move Joss was in front of him.

"You are having too much fun at my expense," he whispered as she got to his level.

"I just love getting to kiss you," she whispered for his ears only before she cupped his face as she kissed him. Joss's kiss was soft and slow. John responded to her kiss, kissing her back eagerly, wishing they didn't have an audience, but it ended before it really began. She patted his cheek wistfully before moving out of the way. Edith stared down at him.

"It's not everyday I get to kiss a very young, attractive man." She winked. John couldn't help but smile at the old woman. She leaned down but instead of kissing him on the mouth, she brushed her lips against his forehead in a maternal way. John felt the woman's love, her soothing soul touch his. She pulled her lips from his forehead to whisper gently in his ear. "Heal, John my boy, heal." She straightened, before smiling at Taylor. "Thank you, young man for giving an old bird her Christmas wish." she grinned, but John was stuck on what she had whispered to him.

* * *

Author's note: Sigh, I do love Edie she's such a sweetheart :) I added the aspect of her being a bit sensitive to their feelings as making her sort of unique, something special to them. I sort of mirrored her after my own grandmother except for the height mine was tall, but my grandmother was special to me even if I only had her in my life until I was 8, but I wanted Edie to be someone special to them all.

Also I say to view this chapter as the calm before the storm, because something-well without giving away next chapter something decidedly harmful happens to two of our characters. I'm trying to get it up a little later today, since this chapter was a filler chapter.

Thanks as always to everyone that is reading/reviewing this, you guys are so sweet.


	17. Chapter 16

_**Author's note: Before you read this chapter, this chapter skips ahead, as you read in the last chapter was Christmas, this one takes place a few weeks from then its in the new year, which I explain in the chapter as well. But again just wanted to give everyone a heads up, so they know the timeframe in which this chapter takes place. Okay I'll shut up now, go run and hide, because of what happens and to let everyone read. **_

* * *

"Slow John." John gasped, his entire body felt sweat slicked, and he was so tired. He was glad to be free of the casts on his wrists, he gained another 12 pounds thanks to all the desserts, and other fattening foods around the holidays. He only had another 13 pounds to go and he'd be back at his weight he had been before they starved him. John had an appointment January 2nd with Dr. Stevens who was extremely happy with how far he had come. He then was scheduled the following day to come back to get his casts off, the bones in his wrists were mended. John felt better, felt more himself again. With the casts off he didn't have to use the wheelchair anymore. He was still relegated to using a crutch to help get him around on his knee, but he was given the okay to start working out. He wasn't allowed to put all his weight on the knee, but he was allowed to start conditioning it and his body to get in shape again. "I said slow!" Shaw commanded.

John wanted to push his body to its limit but unfortunately he couldn't, not with Joss and Shaw as his trainers. The moment they saw him doing too much they forced him to stop. He just wanted his body back in the shape it was previously to the torture, and wanted his knee healed so he could get back to his purpose. So he could find the bastards that did this to him, rather than be stuck on the sideline trying to find a clue in the files. Joss was grateful for all the help he tried to give. He helped her as much as possible but it wasn't enough. It wouldn't be enough until he was back in shape and could help out in the field. Joss, Finch, Lionel, and Shaw were all running ragged trying to find who was turning this state upside down. They worked on numbers while trying to solve all the mob related murders. So far their only luck was saving the unrelated numbers they got. He still felt like they were leaving him in the dark about something. Since before Christmas he was never left alone, which was still the case, and now it was getting on his nerves.

He leaned his head back as his breath came in and out quickly, his knee throbbed madly. All he was trying to do was simple leg lifts with it. He growled in frustration.

"John, I know this pisses you off, but your body is still recovering. Doing too much will keep you sidelined for longer if you don't listen to me," Shaw hissed. He glared at her from where he laid on the floor on the cushy mat. "Carter and I aren't going to let you fuck up our training by you not listening to us, understood?"

"Yes sir," he snapped.

"Upsy daisy." she snickered as she tried to help him to sit up. He shrugged her hand away and she scowled. "Fine do it yourself I'd love to see you get your ass off this floor." she snapped stepping back. John shot her one of hardest glares. "What that's supposed to do, scare me, Reese? Well it doesn't."

"You know I never liked you," he said under his breath.

She laughed softly. "I know, I never thought I'd like you either." He gasped as his body ached from the workout. He refused to say anything. He struggled to bend his knee. "What's the matter John, you can't do it?"

"I never say I can't do something."

"How about you learn to ask for some assistance?" she snapped as she went to help him up. "Lean on me." she griped.

"You're too small just like Carter."

"Lean on me," she demanded and John couldn't help but do as she told him. He was so tired. He leaned on her as they struggled to get him up from the floor. Shaw eyed him as he leaned on her. She helped him to the couch before he collapsed onto it, gasping in pain. "See? This is why you aren't allowed to workout too much. The doc told you you were going to have to go slow because your body suffered severe trauma. You know this, so the reason you're pushing your body is for Finch's sake."

"You know, you can go. Training is done for the day." He pointed to the door, too tired to throw her out himself.

"You're going to listen Reese. Finch needs you healed and to do that you need to go by the book."

"Would you?" he demanded. "Would you go by the book when you know everyone is hiding something from you, when you know that there is a man out there looking to harm the man that saved your life?"

"No," she conceded.

"Then why are you expecting me to?"

"Because you would be a constant pain in my ass yourself, wouldn't you? You would remind me of the same thing I'm reminding you, John. The reason it pisses you off is because you're the one that has to hear it. So suck it up and deal with it."

"Shaw, tell me what's going on, no one else will," he almost pleaded, so tired of everyone keeping it from him. He had a pretty good guess what it was, but a confirmation would be nice.

"They don't think you should know." She looked away and he stared at her. But she did.

"But you do."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Tell me."

"John I could tell you, but I won't."

"Why? How about I guess? My number came up didn't it?" Shaw's look was a little surprised.

"How did you know?"

"The giveaway is the fact that I'm not allowed to be left alone, like I'm some damned toddler."

"We want you safe, is there anything wrong with that?"

"There is when you are purposely keeping me in the dark."

"And wouldn't you go out, with guns blazing, and with the whole mantra of 'I'm placing you in danger by being around you' crap?"

"No."

"You know, it's not nice to lie to your trainer, she'll just make you do more agonizing leg lifts. Finch thought it was best for you not to know."

"He should have known better, that I deserved to know." The door to the apartment opened and Joss entered. John glared at her.

"Hey Carter, good thing you're home maybe you can calm Reese down."

"Why does John need calming down?" she asked quietly, shutting the door before locking it.

"Because you've been hiding the fact that my name came up with our source," John stated clearly. Joss's eyes widened before looking at Shaw.

"You told him?"

"He guessed."

"I'm sitting right here." he growled through clenched teeth. Shaw shrugged, standing up, and he struggled to do the same. He was tired of this, he was tired of it all.

"What are you doing? You're going to hurt yourself, John." He could hear Joss coming closer, he felt her hand on his arm to help.

"Just stop, will you just stop?!" He pushed her hand away from him. He didn't want anyone's help; he was so tired of needing people, so tired of everyone deciding what was best for him.

"You can be angry, but I won't apologize for keeping it from you. I won't apologize for wanting you safe." John managed to be on his feet leaning on the crutch heavily as he eyed Joss and Shaw angrily.

"You didn't think I needed to know that my name came up? You didn't think I needed to know that? I was placing you and your son in danger!"

"That's why you didn't need to know. That right there." Joss pointed at him. "I can take care of myself, John, and my son. I don't need you thinking you needed to leave, you needed to get better."

"And I needed to know."

"I'm sorry, I don't think you did, and still I don't think you needed to know your number came up. I think it hits your ego, your pride is battered right now, but you didn't need to know. You don't need to be the hero this time, nor are you a damsel in distress. You're just a man that needs healing and doesn't have it in him right now to face the danger looking for him." John stared angrily at Joss before shifting his eyes at Shaw. Both women were standing beside one another, seemingly united together. What the hell was this?

"I thought you two didn't like each other." Joss furrowed her brows before looking at Shaw; Shaw just smirked at him.

"On the subject of protecting you, making sure you get better, we are on the same team, right Carter?" Joss turned to look at Shaw smiling.

"Damn right we are." He scowled at both of them. "John, I know you're upset and angry, mixed in with a whole host of other emotions right now, but we were only doing what we thought was best for you. I know this has been hard for you, hard to lean on everyone, and to sit on the sidelines while we go out to save the world like you were used to doing. But its only for a little while longer, you'll be back on your feet in no time and you are doing so good."

"These people are dangerous Joss," Reese tried to explain.

"I know. I know that, I can see how ruthless they are every time I look at you. I see the pain you are in, I hear the screams you let out in your nightmares." He shuddered, not realizing she'd heard him. "John you don't think I cry myself to sleep sometimes when I hear you?" He stared at her, seeing the truth in them, wishing he could protect her from his pain.

"I'll never forgive myself if you or your son get hurt because they want to kill me to find Finch."

"Don't," John watched as Joss was in front of him, touching his cheek. "Don't do that to yourself, there is too much guilt flying around here with Finch and myself already. Don't you go blaming yourself for something that won't happen. I'm fine, my son is fine, and no one is going to find you or Harold." Joss's brown gaze steadily matched his blue one while she gently touched his cheek. He felt himself drowning in her, feeling her love for him, making him yearn for her more and more. He was having a harder time keeping himself detached from her, keeping himself from enjoying the feel of her love. Joss was a friend, it wouldn't ever work between them, he wasn't even sure he could love anyone. Joss's phone rang, and she put distance between them when she went to grab it. He was grateful for the distance, needing space, he was half afraid he was about to grab her and kiss her even though he was so angry.

John watched Joss as she spoke on the phone to someone. He felt Shaw sidle up to him.

"Are you going to tell her you have fallen in love with her?" she asked and he shifted his gaze off Joss and onto Shaw.

"What would you know about it?" Shaw smirked, lifting her hands in the air, before she moved away from him. Joss hung up, looking happy.

"I just got a call from Detective Collins, he has information for me about the men with tattoos. He asked me to come meet with him and his C.I. at a safe location, its an office building that's still being renovated."

"Wait, this Detective Collins guy wants you to come by an empty office building to speak with his C.I?" John eyed Shaw who had grown increasingly suspicious. It did seem rather odd to him as well but confidential informants were a skittish group.

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Isn't it a little weird?" Shaw asked quietly.

"Not really, especially if his C.I. is afraid for his life, and with these tattooed nut jobs running loose I'd say he or she has good reason to be scared." She rushed to grab her jacket and keys.

"Go with her, Shaw." he whispered.

"You read my mind, Reese." they shared a look. "Wait for me, Carter." Joss paused near the door to turn to look at Shaw and Reese. Shaw was hurrying to go get dressed in her normal clothes.

"I don't need you to accompany me, besides you are to stay with John."

"No, I rather her go with you Joss. Safety in numbers."

"He's a cop!" that gave her the creeps, but she wasn't telling John that.

"Then he won't mind Detective Stills showing up with you."

"He's dead."

"Shaw look through the top drawer, Finch brought me Detective Stills and Marshal Jennings' badges." John called out and Shaw nodded without turning back around disappearing in his room to change.

"Will do." John looked at Joss and saw the exasperation on her face.

"She's going." He stated sternly.

"Why? Why do I need Shaw to come with me?"

"Because I can't." Joss nodded softly before she wandered back towards him. "Joss, you need to be careful; these men are very dangerous and they know who you are since they shot up that office building to prevent you from saving that man."

"I know, I know you're worried." her eyes shifted to the door before she touched his cheek. "You're worried about me, why can't you see that's why I kept my mouth shut, to protect you."

"I don't need protecting,"

"That's a matter of opinion. I'll do anything to save you John."

"Joss…" John felt his eyes slide half shut as she moved close to him, her lips inches from his.

"Anything," she vowed and she touched his lips with just the barest amount of pressure before she pulled back as Shaw exited his bedroom fully dressed. Shaw gave him a look as she held out the badge, showing him she got him. She motioned for the door. Joss backed up from him fully. "I'll call Fusco to sit with you until my kid gets back, that way its safety in numbers."

"Joss and Shaw, be careful; you never know who are friends and who are enemies." Both women nodded their heads and finally exited. John heard her lock the door from the outside, leaving him alone, wondering why he had a bad feeling in his stomach. He shrugged it off, deciding to take a quick shower, and try his damnedest to figure out something in all those case files that would give them any sort of lead as to who the hell these people were.

* * *

"Thank you Detective Fusco, for helping me in this matter." Finch appreciated having backup, since they had learned he was the real target behind John's torture. Shaw liked having someone with a gun around him. Detective Carter was in the middle of working, and Shaw was taking a moment to train Mr. Reese, hopefully getting him back to full health sooner rather than later.

"Yeah, yeah four eyes, with wonder woman whipping the crabby commando back into working condition and Carter trying to scrounge up a lead on the tat men from death, I figured I was your last resort as it was."

"Yes well, I appreciate your help." Finch smiled as they pulled up to a modest home that was well on the outskirts of Manhattan. He eyed the detective for a moment. "I found the man that was searching Detective Carter's desk, and who took the framed photograph."

"You did, who?"

"I have no idea." he pulled out a photo of the person, handing him the paper. "Do you?" Fusco eyed the man.

"Never seen the man in my life. But he's a cop."

"How do you know that detective?" He had searched for any distinguishable features and didn't see anything. Fusco pointed a thick finger at the photo.

"Look right there, Einstein, tell me what you see." Finch peered closer at the photograph and that's when he saw it. The shoulder holster under the leather jacket. "Not many, have holsters like that besides detectives. Most criminals hide their guns in the back of their pants."

"Yes, now that's even more disturbing news. Why would a cop search her desk, then steal a photo of her and her son, and ultimately steal a file out of the file cabinet?"

"Beats me, but I've never seen him before in my life. I'll try to figure out who he is. Thanks, Einstein, for getting a lead on it; I'll show this guy to Carter, maybe she's seen him around." The detective looked at him. "So why did you need to speak with April McGee anyway?"

"Her number has just come up. She's in danger even though she is in witness protection and I think its all due to the crime she was supposed to go down for."

"Whoa, hold the phone, her number came up from this creepy source you got and you failed to mention that, four eyes? I could be placing her in even more danger by bringing you to her."

"I need to speak with her, detective, she is our only chance at learning who this man that is faceless and nameless is."

"That's assuming she knows squat!"

"I know, it's a long shot detective but a shot we need to take. I'll even help move her if need be."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, lets get this over with, Einstein, so we can stop placing her life in danger. Carter and I didn't prove her innocence just to have her shot up. We lost far too many people lately."

"I agree." The detective knocked on the door. It took a few minutes when a middle aged woman he presumed was the young April McGee's mother opened the door. Finch eyed her for a moment, feeling as if he remembered her from somewhere a long time ago, but couldn't place her.

"Harold?" he blinked in surprise, this woman knew him?

"Do I know you?"

"Yes you should, I'm the woman whose husband you sent to prison." Fusco turned to eye him. Finch stared at the woman and his eyes widened in realization as her identity came to him immediately.

"Oh no," Finch whispered.

* * *

"So, when did you fall in love with John?" Joss sighed as she drove Shaw and herself to the office building Collins said to meet at.

"Is this any of your business?"

"Not really, but I'm asking anyway. If it interferes with how he does his job or yours, then it might become my business."

"It won't."

"I hope not."

"It won't," she stated clearly and resolutely. She was professional enough to handle having feelings for a man without them getting in the way of a job that needed to be done. She didn't care for Shaw insinuating she couldn't. "I don't know when it happened, it just sort of happened," she finally answered Shaw's question.

"You haven't slept with him yet have you, I thought sex was off the table for him for a long while? Although I'm sure the doctor gave him the all clear since he's gained most of his weight back and isn't so weak anymore."

"Now that's really none of your business, Ms. Shaw."

"Relax, Carter, I think the two of you jumping each other's bones is needed."

"Oh my god, shut up."

"Hey, you both need a stress reliever and what's better than sex? I think sex is what John needs right about now."

"Ms. Shaw, I assure you I will never report the intimate details of my private life with John or anyone else to you. If we want to make it something we will, no matter what you say. I do not need or want your approval, is that understood?"

"Aye aye, ma'am." Shaw smirked and Joss sighed. This woman was annoying. "Honestly, I think you're probably the only woman good enough for Reese." Joss blinked her eyes a little at that.

"Excuse me?"

"I've been around soldiers for a long time detective. I can see one that is battle scarred, and John is most definitely scarred. He wasn't cut out for the CIA; sure he was an excellent marksman, which is why I assumed they enlisted his services. But he wasn't cut out for the killing, he's got a soul."

"Not all CIA agents are soulless."

"Most, and the ones that had souls lose them in the agency, but not John. His heart bled, his soul was nearly smothered, but it was never broken like others. He's too strong willed for that." Joss eyed Shaw, hearing the praise, hearing the care for the man. John truly touched this woman without realizing it.

"You care about him."

"I do. At first I hated it." Joss nodded, allowing the woman to speak while she drove them to the address. "The government killed my only friend, the only person I ever trusted fully. John and Finch saved me, even though I didn't ask them to, but they continued being by my side. I didn't like John or Finch at first; I was waiting to see if I could trust them. And I could." She shrugged.

"I remember when I first met John."

"Did you try to shoot him like I did?"

Joss chuckled. "No, I tried to help him. John, to me at the time, was a homeless man who I thought was a lost soul, who I still think is a lost soul and I wanted to help him." She sighed, getting lost in thinking about that fateful day when she met him. He turned her life upside down and inside out.

"It's those blue eyes isn't it?" Joss eyed her and she shrugged. "What? He's most definitely all yours, I just find him easy on the eyes." Joss sighed, not sure why they were talking about this, she never had a woman to talk to. She worked in a precinct where there was a sea of testosterone.

"You can say that again; never met a man so truly beautiful inside and out. But to answer your question, yes, it was his eyes that captivated me. Still do. I feel like I'm the only woman he sees when he looks at me."

"That's because you _are_ the only woman he sees, Carter." She wanted to ask the woman to elaborate but they arrived at the building they were meeting Collins and his C.I. at. They both climbed out and Joss motioned for her to follow her. Collins had asked her to go to suite 100 which he said was furthest in the back of the building. Joss knocked on the door.

"Come in," he called out, and Joss swung the door open.

"Thank you for calling, I need help finding these men." Joss smiled as Shaw followed her inside. Detective Collins smiled.

"Who is this?" He motioned to Shaw.

"Detective Stills." Shaw flashed her badge.

"I thought you had a guy partner or did you trade up?"

"No we are strictly working on this together since we both have unsolved crimes of theirs we are working on. Carter gave me the heads up." Joss felt uneasy around this man. Shaw stepped closer to her, motioning for a moment to Collins. "We have a problem." she whispered in her ear.

"What?"

"There are four men with those tattoos in the other room." she said quietly. Joss's eyes flickered to the side room where sure enough the men they were searching for were walking towards them. Her eyes widened as she eyed Detective Collins. His slow grin made him look like the devil himself.

"You weren't supposed to figure it out so quickly. Boys, kill Stills while I take the pretty detective." Joss went for her gun when Collins lunged at her, grabbing her wrist. They were quickly grabbed from behind they must of had men waiting behind the door. Shaw tried to fight the four men converging on her and she shot her pistol. Joss tried to yank her wrist free, while she swung her leg out hard to kick Collins in the shin, while she took a right hook slamming her fist in his face. He grunted, and grinned as he rubbed his cheek. "I knew you'd be perfect." He flashed her a cocky grin as he moved to the side and she got sight of the tattoo she hadn't ever seen before. Joss wrenched her wrist free going for her weapon, and he promptly knocked it out of her hand. Joss felt the harsh smack against her face, her lip split wide open as she tumbled onto the ground. She heard Shaw desperately fighting the other men that were on her. Gunshots went off, screams filled the air. Joss tried to fight back, but Collins was too strong. She felt a hand wrap tightly around her wrist yanking her up. Collins slammed her against the wall her head hit it first causing her to see stars. He let go of her wrist to wrap his hand around her throat tightly. Joss gasped as her hands weakly went to ply them from around her throat. She gagged as he squeezed.

"Give Reese a message for me, 'come out to play'." Joss felt light headed as she clawed at his hand while he placed a gun to her head. He wasn't going to kill her, he wanted to send a message to John. Joss needed to do something.

"S-screw y-you," she forced out; his face scrunched up and he let go of her neck to punch her. Joss crumpled to the ground, but she wasn't out. She used all her might to smash her heel into his shin. He yowled and cursed. Joss sat up and smacked the gun out of his hand. She scrambled towards it but felt his hands on her ankles pulling her away from it. She thrashed, kicked at anything. Joss heard Shaw fighting as hard as she could, she couldn't even help Shaw since she having such a hard time with this one man. Collins was on top of her and she screamed, she couldn't help it when she felt his erection. Joss found herself on her back he pinned her struggling hands above her head with one of his giant ones. She struggled to wiggle a hand free. "You're a wild cat. I figured you'd be a fucking animal in bed." he laughed as he yanked at her clothing.

"You'll have to kill me before I let you touch me!" she shouted as she spat in his face. Rage filled in his eyes and he let go of her hands and began slamming his fists into her. Joss attempted to protect her face, while trying to ram her knee into his groin, but he lifted her up and smashed her head against the hard floor making her vision blur. Joss laid still, consciousness slipping from her. Joss felt another harsh slap across her face, felt tears burning down her cheeks when she couldn't stop him from tearing at her clothes. She heard her shirt being ripped open buttons flying everywhere. "You want Reese like this don't you, its why you are helping him right? You want to fuck him, take him into your body, right? you little whore," he growled.

"CARTER!" she heard Shaw's scream of her name, tried to respond, beg for her help, wishing she could help Shaw in return. He roughly grabbed her breasts which incited her. She struggled again, trying to get him off her, she took her right hand and raked her nails across his face. He yowled in pain, punching her in retaliation.

"Fight back, I love it, fight back," he snapped, slapping her, but when she couldn't manage to move he seemed to accept it. "When I see Reese, I'll tell him if you were a good piece of ass." he grinned as he breathed heavily, Joss tried to weakly stop him from tearing at her pants but he easily warded off her attempts. She nearly sobbed when the cool air of the place hit her bare legs.

"Beg me to take you Joss, you know you want me to fuck you. Reese can't give it to you as good as I will, I'll ruin you with all men." His words were in her ear while he pinned her down with his body, his hands at her panties. Joss screamed for help; never in her life had she done so before. She felt the elastic of her panties burning her waist as he tore at them. Joss began thrashing again, not about to let him rape her without a fight, he was going to have to kill her first. Joss rammed her knee into his crotch eliciting a loud cry of pain from him. She punched, wiggled and squirmed to get from beneath him. She continued to fight with all her might until finally he was off of her. Joss forced her hurt body to move to help Shaw in any way she could, her ripped and bloodied clothing hanging from her shaking body; she barely got to her feet before he recovered. He growled something unintelligible before she felt him slam his body into her tackling her to the hardwood floor once more. He slammed her head against the floor, black tunneled her vision, Joss had no more fight left in her as she felt him flip her onto her back again, his hands on her. She was going to be raped and she couldn't stop him, and then she blissfully felt nothing.

* * *

Author's note: *peeks out* please don't harm me for this cliffie, for attacking Carter...you guys love cliffies right? You won't harm me, *big doe eyes* I mean sure you have no idea if she got raped or not, what has happened to Shaw, but that's not a huge cliffie-well okay maybe it is, but I won't leave you hanging forever I promise!

In the next chapter, you'll learn what is Carter and Shaw's fate.

Thanks for reading, I adore you all :D


	18. Chapter 17

Shaw held her shoulder as blood oozed out of her gunshot wound. She slowly fell to her knees in front of Carter and the bastard that was slumped on top of her. He had been oh so close to raping the detective, who appeared beyond dazed. Carter was bleeding as bad as she was. Shaw pushed the man off of her, glad he was unconscious, she had run out of bullets in her gun so she had smashed the butt of the gun into the back of his head with all her might. They needed to get the hell out of here because they were both injured and Shaw had no idea if this man had more men waiting in the wings to get them. As much as she hated to admit it, right now both Carter and she would be easy pickings.

"Carter-" she whispered, touching the woman's bloody face. "Joss you need to focus on me." Carter's dazed look finally slid to her. Her body shuddered.

"He didn't...?" the haunted words sounded so bleak. Shaw slid her good arm underneath the detective's head placing her neck at the crux where her elbow was.

"No, I stopped him before he could, but he was very close." Shaw whispered as she slowly helped Carter to sit up. Carter's body was bruised and bloodied, her panties were nearly torn off just barely hanging by a thread.

"Is he?" Joss motioned to the man that had been on top of her. Shaw shook her head in denial, the man was very much alive, which she wanted to fix, sure Carter did too, but they needed to get out of here.

"We need to get the hell out of here before these guys wake up." Carter nodded. They both slowly got to their feet and they each leaned on one another as they struggled to make their way out of the building. The ambush had worked, they nearly had been killed. They managed to make it to Carter's car. "I'll drive." Shaw stated taking note the detective's swollen shut eye, the blood on her face, and the apparent shock of almost being raped. She wasn't in any condition to drive. Not that Shaw faired much better since her body felt like they had used it as a punching bag and she had a gunshot wound to her shoulder. They just hadn't figured she knew combat skills to bring them down one by one. Joss had given the bastard Collins some punishment herself, the man seemed dead-set on raping her though, everything the detective tried didn't seem to work. Shaw saw her cell phone being charged in her car. She reached a bloodied hand to grab it. She dialed Finch's number.

"Ms. Shaw-" Finch's voice was loud and panicked but she didn't have time to deal with whatever new number they got or didn't get. So she spoke over him. "We were ambushed, Finch," she started off loud but ended weakly.

"Ms. Shaw, are you alright?"

"Been better, it was an ambush by Kilpatrick's men. That detective works for him."

"Who, which detective?"

"Collins, he called with info on Kilpatrick's men, it was just to ambush Carter, luckily I went with her, but it didn't matter. I got a gunshot wound in the shoulder and a cracked rib but I'll survive, Carter was beaten and nearly raped."

"Oh dear lord, both of you head to a clinic Ms. Shaw."

"No, first I'm going to drop Carter off with John; she'll be safe there. Then I'll go patch myself up; we don't need a clinic, they'll look there first. I know John is on crutches; get him to meet us outside. I won't be able to help Carter inside."

"I'll call him, I'm on my way, Ms. Shaw." Shaw hung up with Finch before eyeing Carter.

"I'll kill him for you," Shaw promised.

"He didn't, I'm okay."

"Convince John of that, because he's going to go ballistic, and we can't have him out there looking for a fight while he's still injured himself," Shaw whispered, pulling up to the complex after a fifteen minute drive. Joss slowly tried to get out of the car, Shaw couldn't even offer any help, she was having a hard time concentrating on anything. Joss staggered out of the car and John appeared out of the complex. Shaw saw the utter look of devastation on his face when he eyed Joss.

"JOSS!" Shaw wanted to yell at the man. He was going to cause more damage to his knee that Carter and she was busy conditioning as he was practically running on one crutch to the woman. However not a peep made it out of her as her consciousness was slowing fading in and out. He wrapped an arm around Carter's waist, holding her against him. The detective clung to John, Shaw was glad Carter had someone like him to lean on. The vulnerable part of her wished she had a man that cared this much about her as John cared for the detective. John peered down to her where she was struggling hard to remain conscious. "Get out of the car Shaw."

"I'll go." she barely moved her head to motion to the road.

"You will do no such thing, get out of the car now, Shaw!" he demanded and Shaw decided to listen just this once. She cut the engine and slowly forced her achy body out. She nearly face planted, but rounded the car with the help of it. John threw his crutch down on the ground wrapping an arm around her hip. Shaw wanted to make a quip about their slow, steady pace of making it back to the apartment but thought better of it since John looked ready to fall over himself from supporting the weight of two women that were leaning on him, while he tried hobbling, barely pressing any weight to his injured knee.

John had gotten Joss in his bed, while Shaw had been adamant about lounging on the couch. He had no idea who to attend too first and was relieved when he saw Finch burst in, carrying the crutch he had left outside.

"Attend to Shaw, Finch; I'll take care of Carter." John said and Finch nodded, handing him the crutch which he took gratefully. John sucked in a ragged breath forcing his body to move faster as he made his way back into his bedroom. Joss was laying on the bed, her clothes ripped and bloodied. Thankfully her son was out for a study group for another while longer; he wouldn't have to see Joss like this. John propped his crutch against the nightstand. "What hurts?" he whispered quietly, as he began checking her arms and then legs for broken bones.

"Everything," she whispered. "He was going to rape me, John. He wanted me to fight him and I did, just long enough." Tears leaked out of her eyes sliding sideways on her face disappearing into her hair.

"He didn't?" Her eyes lifted to his and he was strung so tight while he waited for her answer.

"No, Shaw saved me." He nodded. He was going to get his hands on these men for touching Joss and he was going to smother the life out of them. He was going to kill them one by one for thinking of hurting Joss, Finch, Shaw, or Fusco. This had become his new purpose.

"I'll be right back, Joss." he assured her. John grabbed his crutch and propelled him towards his bathroom, to get a towel to gently wash her face. When John made it back to his room with the wetted towel and lots of medical supplies for not only Joss but Shaw as well, Joss was lying in the same position staring up at the ceiling.

"Mr. Reese," Finch appeared in the doorway and he looked at his friend. "Ms. Shaw requires the bullet to be removed from her shoulder." Finch was pale, shaky, and looked ready to vomit. He held out the towel and medical supplies to Finch.

"Clean her up, be very careful with her Finch, I have some anti-bacterial ointment that is leftover from my wounds on my back, use that to take care of all her cuts, and scrapes." Finch nodded he gave him the towel and some supplies while he took some with him to where Shaw was sitting lounging on the couch. John shut the door to his bedroom, just in case Taylor made his grand entrance. He didn't need to see his mom right yet. John saw the first aide kit that Finch stored in the hall bathroom, on the coffee table already opened.

"He tried, so you could attend to your girlfriend." Shaw whispered unevenly. John sucked in a breath his knee hurt so badly from all this movement, as he sat down beside her. "Finch isn't capable of taking bullets out."

"No he's not," he agreed, seeing they had taken her jacket off but left her shirt on. John grabbed the hem of her shirt, lifting it up and off of her.

"You just want to see me naked, wait till I tell Carter on you." Shaw tried for a joke, while he placed the bloodied shirt on the floor. He moved her bra strap aside, peering at her hole in her shoulder.

"It's not too bad, I don't think it caused any severe damage."

"Neither do I," she gasped as he rubbed the area with a towel. Her face was sweaty and pale from pain.

"That man didn't rape her did he?" He shook with rage as he stood up.

"He was close, Carter fought him long and hard." He nodded picking up the needle nose pliers to go run alcohol over it when the door opened and Taylor was exclaiming something. He stopped mid sentence as the door slid shut behind him.

"What happened?"

"Run alcohol on these pliers for me, Taylor, please." he was so weak and tired himself he wasn't even sure he could make himself go to the kitchen. Taylor ran to grab the pliers, before running into the kitchen to do as he requested. Taylor appeared back in seconds holding out the pliers. "Thank you."

"John, you need to sit down," Taylor whispered as he helped him sit and he shrugged the kid's hands off of him.

"You should go in your room, do not come out until I say so, okay Taylor? Your mother would not want you to see this." Taylor nodded before doing as he was told. John eyed Shaw who smiled gratefully. "Take several deep breaths Shaw."

"John," she gasped as she did as he said.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what? I'm sure you'd dig a bullet out of me for me."

"No, thank you for saving my life all those months ago. I never thanked you for it, I was too proud." He leaned in and inserted the tips of the pliers into her wound, and she beat the cushion with her fist beside her.

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts."

"This is what it felt like for you, right, when those men tortured you? They did this right?" she gasped.

"Concentrate on your breathing, Shaw." he whispered as he scraped what felt like the bullet.

"Tell me something that will piss me off, so I don't lose consciousness. They did this to you over and over again, right?" She bit her lip to keep from howling in pain.

"Yes, they did this to me, with the incisions and the gashes on my back. They inserted the tip of a blade just inside to cause me maximum amount of pain. They were very good at there job."

"I'll kill them for touching you and her," she vowed through clenched teeth. "I won't feel a fucking thing when I do it, like you will." John wanted to correct her; that when he found the man that tried to rape Joss, he wouldn't feel anything as he murdered him, but he kept his mouth shut. He concentrated on pulling the bullet out of Shaw.

"Sam, take a big deep breath, I'm going to be pulling the bullet out." She just nodded her head and gulped in air, but it didn't snuff out the muffled sound of pain she made as he pulled it out. John hurriedly placed his hand on his wound that oozed blood again. He applied direct pressure for a full minute, before removing his hand to grab the towel again to cleanse the wound. "Make a fist for me, while slowly lifting your arm to eye level." he said quietly needing to see if there was any damage done from the bullet. Shaw did as he asked and he was glad to see she could do as he asked. Her hand dropped down as he leaned close to make sure he cleaned the bullet wound. John moved back wiping his bloody hands on the towel before picking up the needle and thread, before gathering some gauze and bandages for after he stitched her together.

"Y-you should tell Carter how you feel." Shaw gasped in pain as he stuck the needle under her skin slowly suturing her up.

"Thank you Dr. Phil, I'll take that in consideration." Shaw laughed as she closed her eyes. "How do you know I feel anything for Joss?" he asked conversationally. He wasn't going to bother to deny it or confirm it, he just wanted to hear how she came to the conclusion.

"You know me, John. I'm the love doctor." she looked down at where he was suturing her. "Seriously, who are you trying to kid, John. Your feelings for her are written plain as day on your face." She gasped as she clutched the couch cushion while he continued to stitch her up. "I read people, you and Carter aren't easy on anything, except for your feelings for each other."

"Funny, I can do the same thing; and you, Shaw, aren't that hard to figure out."

"Oh I'm not?"

"No, you wish to belong with Finch and I; you just don't know how to belong," he whispered, keeping his eyes on the task at hand. He heard the sucking of breath knowing it was from his words, not from him stitching her up. "You enjoy saving the numbers' lives, it gives you something to do with your life now that your own country burned you. But take it from someone who had experience in this sort of thing, just because your country betrayed you doesn't mean Finch and I will. Finch offered me nothing less than the truth, which I offer you Shaw, the government may have lied to you but we never will," John assured the young woman when he felt a hand on his. He paused from tying the thread off, to flicker his intense gaze up to her face.

"You accept me so readily, even though I'm violent and risky?"

"Yes, but no killing. We try to put people behind bars first, you don't get to be the executioner, Shaw."

"I've been told that before." She let his hand go and he finished tying the thread off. He began placing gauze and bandages on her wound. His eyes flickered to the closed bedroom door, wondering how Joss was.

* * *

Finch never saw the detective in such a way before. It was very disheartening to see. Her clothes were ripped, she was bruised and bloodied, and she appeared out of it. Tears were sliding out of her eyes, never saying a word while he cleansed the blood off her face. Her lip was split, her eye was swollen shut, she had a gash near her eye, and he had felt the back of her head finding two goose eggs. Joss had been beaten and nearly raped. Her body had begun to shake, probably from the night's events or from being cold since she barely had any clothes on. He helped her when she began struggling.

"I need a shower." she began rubbing at her arms incessantly. "I need to get him off my skin. I can still feel him on me."

Finch needed to make sure before he helped her wash the evidence away. "Jocelyn, did he rape you?" she looked up into his eyes and he saw the pain in them. She shook her head.

"No." Finch nodded, and helped Jocelyn stand up. He slid her arm around his shoulder blades, before helping her to John's bathroom. He entered, and put the toilet seat down and the cover before having the detective sit. He started the shower for her, getting it nice and warm for her.

"Will you be alright in the shower alone?" Finch asked quietly and she nodded.

"Make sure Shaw is alright."

"I will, but you are my concern right now, Ms. Shaw has Mr. Reese." Finch watched as an emotion filled her eyes. She patted his cheek.

"Thanks, I'll be okay, the room has stopped spinning."

"I'll get you some medication to take for your headache."

"Thank you. Can you shut the door for me?" she asked quietly and he nodded his head.

"I'll be just outside this door, Jocelyn. The moment you don't feel right, call for me; I'll be there for you."

"I know." With that Finch exited the bathroom, shutting the door carefully but leaving it ajar so he could get in there at a moment's notice. The bedroom door opened, and Finch's eyes widened.

"John!" Finch cried when he saw Shaw in John's arms being carried to his bed. Shaw appeared to be out cold, and John wasn't on his crutch. He was dragging his injured leg, he looked pale and sweaty from too much exertion himself.

"Comforter." he gasped and Finch hurried to yank the comforter down. John placed the small, limp form of Ms. Shaw on the bed to the side. John leaned heavily against the nightstand, and when Finch went to place the comforter onto Ms. Shaw, he motioned for him to stop. "Get my crutch, Finch," he gasped. Finch nodded his head before running as fast as his handicap would allow to get Mr. Reese his crutch. That's when he saw the young Carter.

"Where's my mom?" he saw the worry in his eyes.

"She's here but she was injured." the worry in the young boy's eyes grew to panic.

"She was shot too?"

"No, no she wasn't shot; your mother and Shaw were ambushed." Finch wasn't going to lie to him. Finch motioned for the kid to follow him where he held out the crutch to John. John looked at Taylor, before glowering.

"Taylor what did I say?"

"To stay in my room; but the longer I stayed in there the more I knew you were protecting me from seeing my mom."

"Your mother won't want you to see her like she is right now. Please go back to your room."

"John, is she going to be alright?"

"Yes, your mother will be fine, she was struck a few times, and she's a little out of it. She might have a concussion, I'm not sure yet." Finch watched the kid's eyes fill with relief but then filled with concern for Ms. Shaw. "Don't worry Taylor, Sam is going to be alright, but she has been beaten and shot in the shoulder. She needs rest." Finch realized John was omitting the fact that Joss was about to be raped, probably not to worry Taylor any further. The young man nodded his head.

"Taylor why don't you give your mother some privacy, and when she is ready to see you I'll go get you." Finch offered. Taylor nodded his head but before he left he touched John's arm.

"Take care of my mom for me, please, John. I know you care for her, she's special to you too."

"You have my word, Taylor." The boy nodded and exited the room reluctantly, but did as they suggested. John struggled with his body to get to the dresser. He pulled out one of his dark t-shirts, and a pair of boxer-briefs before heading towards the bathroom. "She'll probably want something loose fitting on her tonight," John whispered. Finch had wanted to tell them all what he and Detective Fusco learned, but Ms. Shaw and Detective Carter's well-fare was what had to take precedence. No more of his friends were going to be harmed because of a personal vendetta against him.

* * *

Joss moaned quietly as the warm spray hit her battered body, but more importantly the sick feeling of Collins still on her skin had faded. Not much, it was still there, but just a little bit now. She closed her eyes and she would see him looming over her, while she desperately fought him. She was fine, she was safe thanks to Shaw. Shaw had saved her from being raped, she had that woman, the woman she hadn't even been sure she liked, to thank for helping her.

"Joss," she closed her eyes as she heard John's soft voice fill the bathroom. "Are you alright?" Joss yanked the shower curtain back just enough to peer out. John had some of his clothes for her to wear, she was grateful. She couldn't fathom putting on any of her clothes right now. They were all too form fitting, all too tight. The feel of the elastic of her panties burning her waist was very much still with her.

"I'm okay," she whispered and he nodded. He was about to leave. "Don't," she called out, and he turned to eye her. "Please don't leave me." He nodded softly and slowly lowered himself to sit on the toilet seat cover.

"I won't then." She wished she could smile, but it hurt to move her lip. She pushed the shower curtain back in place while she finished her shower feeling better knowing John was just outside. When she finished she shut the water off, and yanked the shower curtain back. John's eyes slid across her nude body before they fixated on her eyes. John stood up and offered a hand to help her out of the shower, which she gladly took, her ankle hurt a little. Joss wrapped a big towel around her body.

"Thank you." she whispered in the warm bathroom, the steam fogging up the mirrors.

"For what?" he whispered right back gently touching her cheek that wasn't bruised and cut up with his fingers.

"Being here."

"Where else would I be?" He tugged her into his arms and she burrowed into his embrace. She closed her eyes and clinging to him, Collins image stayed away, so she clung to John harder. John's skin helped; his soft, warm skin melted away the feeling of cold rough hands grasping her. They stood like that for what seemed to be an eternity, John just holding her while stroking her wet hair gently, mindful of her bruises on the back of her head. Finch most of told him about them.

"When I'm in your arms, I don't feel him on me anymore," she whispered into his neck inhaling John's scent which made her forget the scent of a heady iron musk from the blood oozing from her and from Shaw. Wait till she was better, Collins and his men were going to pay for what they did to her and Shaw.

"Then you'll sleep in my arms," he assured her. Joss pushed back a little, eyeing him seeing the pain in his own gaze over what happened tonight. "Get dressed, Joss, I'll wait for you out there." He stepped back. She nodded her head. Joss reluctantly relinquished her hold on his hand before he exited. Joss was careful drying her body mindful of her cuts and bruises. She threw the towel behind her and picked up his t-shirt before gingerly pulling it on. The shirt engulfed her small frame, which was fine since she didn't wish to feel the elastic of his boxer-briefs on her waist.

Joss exited the bathroom, John eyed her with a soft expression before he gently took her hand and they walked slowly together further into his bedroom. Joss saw Shaw on John's bed.

"Is she alright?" Joss asked quickly as she moved to the woman that helped her. She leaned over her, gently touching her forehead.

"She will be." Joss nodded her head before backing away to allow Shaw a chance to sleep. "Your son needs to see that you are alright, Joss."

"Taylor, he'll be upset." Joss felt tears fill her eyes knowing how she looked. She had eyed the mirror seeing the damage on her face.

"He will be, but he also needs to know you are truly alright; he was very upset." She nodded her head, they exited the bedroom where Finch was cleaning up the various supplies that were left on the coffee table.

"Where is he?"

"In his room." John said quietly. "Finch go get him, Joss is ready to see him." Finch paused in his cleanup, nodding his head, before hurrying down the hall. It took only a few minutes before her son appeared. His eyes grew wide and pain exploded on his features.

"I'm okay baby, I promise," she whispered when he hurried to her to hug her tightly, but gently for her sake. "Shaw was by my side to help me," she whispered in his ear, before he backed up.

"Then I have to thank her."

"She's asleep, honey," Joss rubbed Taylor's face when tears streaked his cheeks. "I'm safe." He nodded his head before he eyed John.

"You'll catch who did this to my mom, right?"

"Yes." Joss heard the lethal tone to John's voice, knowing he was going to do exactly what they wanted him to do, he was going to be lured out. She kept her eyes on her son.

"We'll catch them," she corrected. "Now honey, I want you to go try to get some sleep for school tomorrow, okay. I'm okay, I'm safe, and we aren't alone." Taylor nodded his head curtly, before going to his bedroom once more.

"Finch, get Joss's pillows and the blanket she uses at night from the hall closet." Finch nodded rushing to do as asked. He came back with the large dark blanket, and the two pillows. He took the pillows from the smaller man, placing them on the opposite side from which she usually laid, and slowly sat down on the couch pulling Joss along with him. He unfolded the blanket on top of them, leaving his knee brace on while he tucked her against his side as he was propped up.

"I'll see myself out, Mr. Reese; if you need anything call me." John nodded while Joss snuggled into his side. Finch hobbled his way out, and John heard him locking the door with the use of his key. Joss laid her head on his chest.

"John, what about Sam?"

"Shaw is asleep, I'll check on her during the night. Now go to sleep, we'll talk about everything in the morning."

"What about you?" she resisted.

"I'll be fine, sleep. I'll wake you up every ten to fifteen minutes until I'm sure you don't have a concussion."

"I don't," she assured him. "Check on Sam," she whispered as she couldn't fight the need to sleep.

"I will, now sleep, Joss." And like that she was out like a light.

* * *

"I sent the detective on her merry little way, boss." Ryder clutched the back of his head while sitting in Isaac's office.

"Yes, except for the fact that four of my men were shot, two died from multiple gunshot wounds, while you appear to have gotten your ass handed to you."

"Carter was even more of a wildcat I was unprepared for that, and I didn't expect for her to bring a friend."

"Yes, which was another woman. Yet all five of you came out injured, and I lost two men. There is no excuse that five men can't handle two inferior women! Especially you Ryder, you are highly trained like Reese, or did you forget all your special training when you were so desperate to nail the detective?" Kilpatrick snarled. "What was the other detective's name?"

"Detective Stills."

"We'll find her. Now that the pretty little detective was beaten up, I'm sure we'll draw out John before ultimately drawing Harold out. So I'm reassigning you until Reese comes out to play."

"But I want the detective,"

"You should have had her now shouldn't you Ryder?!" Isaac slammed his fist on his desk. "I need you to help to find April McGee and her slut mother."

"Fine."

"She was placed in witness protection, I need you to find out where. Then my vendettas against all those people that hurt me all those years ago will be taken care of. Then I can run this place without a care in the world." He was more than sure that John Reese would come out of hiding to avenge the pretty little detective, which will hopefully lure Harold out to protect John Reese. He would murder John and then take his revenge on Harold, killing two birds with one stone.

"Yes sir." Ryder stood up, taking his leave. Isaac smiled warmly as it finally seemed ALL of his plans were coming to fruition. He leaned back feeling happy, before he pushed a finger on the intercom awaiting his lovely secretary's voice.

"Yes Mr. Kilpatrick?"

"My office now, Janet."

"Yes sir," she purred. He stood up as she entered. She shut the door before locking it. He wrapped an arm around her waist yanking her against him. "Someone's in a good mood." She grinned before leaning in nibbling at his neck.

"I am, Janet, everything is going according to plan." he chuckled backing away as he tugged her into his arms and began dancing with her to imaginary music. She giggled. "My ex-wife and daughter will be found by Ryder, where he will snuff out those backstabbing whores!" he kissed her lightly.

"Mr. Kilpatrick?"

"Yes my dear," he pushed her against his desk, tearing at her clothes. Her hips lifted while he pulled her panties down from under her skirt.

"I'm in love with you." Isaac paused before flinging her panties over his shoulder. He pushed her skirt up as he unzipped his pants. He grinned, eyeing Janet.

"You do huh?" he grabbed her hips before he slid inside her easily. She gasped as she always did. "Well you're in luck, Janet, because I love you too." He leaned over her and kissed her. Isaac was happy for the first time in a very long time, everything was perfect. Janet was in love with him, worshipped his existence; she would never be like his slut ex-wife. Reese would be dead, Harold he would have gotten his comeuppance, and he'd run this damned state. Isaac gasped as his excitement grew as he screwed his secretary. She cried his name and he knew he owned her, and like that, he followed her over the edge imagining just what damage they could do together as they controlled this damned place.

* * *

Author's note: Yeah so I can't write rape its just not in me to do so. But both Shaw and Carter got wounded a bit, poor things. So we have Reese, Shaw, and Carter all injured, that just leaves Fusco and Finch in the unharmed category :D Will they be the duo that saves the day? Maybe lol, or maybe our other heroes that have been slightly harmed will get to exact some revenge ;P

In the next chapter, Carter comes up with a plan to do a role reversal on our tat men from death to lure them into a trap, and Finch spills all about who exactly Kilpatrick is.

Thanks as always I appreciate you reading and reviewing :D


	19. Chapter 18

"You know four eyes, this is getting a bit ridiculous; its past one in the morning." Fusco griped as he yawned as he arrived at Columbia park just as he summoned.

"I know, but it was imperative we spoke face to face detective."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah what is it?"

"Detective Carter and Ms. Shaw were attacked tonight." Fusco felt the sleepiness immediately fade from him and his senses went on high alert.

"What, what happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure, detective. The little I understood from Ms. Shaw when she called me was that they went to go learn some information on the men we are searching for from some Detective Collins and it turned out to be an ambush. Ms. Shaw was shot and beaten, while Jocelyn was beaten and nearly raped."

"I'll kill the bastard that hurt Carter,"

"Yes, well the detective and Ms. Shaw are hidden safely with John right now."

"So I take it you didn't tell them about what we learned earlier this evening then?"

"No I had no time, I will have to speak with them sometime later in the morning."

Fusco nodded. "Detective Collins isn't that the name of the guy that wanted to speak with Carter about the man in the suit?" Realization dawned on him, while guilt slid home. He now felt like the rest of the group, guilty over not stopping something. "Damn it, I should have realized it."

"Detective, it isn't your fault for not realizing he was working for Niall Cunningham aka Isaac Kilpatrick. Mr. Cunningham is ruthless, demented, and a truly despicable human being even before he kidnapped John and tortured him for information about me," Harold snapped, never realizing Niall had been released from prison. He should have remembered this man, he should have known this man would be back as he claimed he would. "He has to be working with someone, someone powerful enough to have found out that John worked for me."

"Who, it sure the hell isn't the Russians or HR?"

Harold had a suspicion, one that could explain a lot, one that left him unsettled. "I have a suspicion,"

"Well lay it on me, Einstein because we are slowly getting our asses handed to us. The crabby commando is still licking his wounds, Carter is now beaten, Shaw's been shot, that just leaves us two." Fusco paused eyeing him first, then himself. "And no offense, but we're not as useful as the other three are, I'm overweight and you, four eyes, you have a limp." Finch nodded his head in agreement. He knew they were very limited in what they could do, but telling him about the group meant telling him about the machine. Which wasn't something he wanted to do, ever; not to this detective or Jocelyn. Both would be in quite a bit of danger for even knowing its existence, quite possibly they could give up being assets for knowing the truth as well. They could grow angry, but it was a risk he was going to have to take, because as Detective Lionel Fusco just pointed out, they were down three people.

"I think Cunningham could be getting vital information from a group called Decima, detective; they are trying to control the machine," Finch said slowly, wishing he had another option rather than this one. But sadly there was none.

"What the hell is 'the machine', glasses? Sounds like it came out of a sci-fi movie!" Finch looked around before motioning for the detective to walk with him, and they climbed into his car and he began his story back when the towers fell.

* * *

Joss jerked awake, gasping as her body throbbed in agony. The feel of Collins on her skin was gone, thankfully. She felt warm, contented, even though her entire body ached and she cracked one eye open, seeing the reason why. John, half laying, half sitting up beneath her, who was sound asleep. Joss looked around seeing it was light out, which meant it was morning, which meant the horrific night last night was gone. Last night John had laid with her, took care of her and Shaw; Joss remembered being awakened a few times by John but afterwards she fell asleep. Joss stared at John's face, the lines on it, even in sleep, made him appear extremely exhausted. Joss couldn't help but burrow in his warmth peering at the door where John usually laid. Right now Shaw was taking up that space as she tried to sleep off a beating and being shot. Collins worked for those men, he had almost raped her; Shaw had been outnumbered and almost murdered. They really were truly evil people. None of those men cared what they did, how they did it, and they had even less rules than the Russians. Joss pulled her gaze up to John's face when she heard a soft sound out of him.

It was a whimper, he was caught in one of his nightmares that plagued him nightly. A strangled shout was ripped from him and his eyes opened wide as he dragged in breaths, his stomach rose and fell quickly as he gasped in breaths.

"John," his body was tense, as he became aware of his surroundings his body relaxed.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly.

"I'm better thanks to you." He gently rubbed her face. "Is Shaw alright?"

"I woke her up periodically last night, she seemed to be alright."

"Good." She nodded, seeing him wince a bit. She leaned up on her hands on the couch seeing that his bad leg was still in the knee brace, but he looked very uncomfortable. Her eyes shifted up his body to his face, taking note of the harsh lines that were still there, but she also noticed he appeared pale. Joss remembered vaguely getting out of the car, it was a blur, her mind still on Collins. But John, John had supported her weight and Shaw's. He overdid it last night and was paying the price today. John was still hurt, his body was severely traumatized, and here she was burrowing into his warmth, feeling content while he was hurting far worse than she ever would. Damn it she was being selfish because she enjoyed being in his arms, because she loved this man too much.

"You are doing too much," she wiggled ignoring all her aches and pains, but John easily held onto her.

"I'll be alright, besides it makes me feel better taking care of you instead of being taken care of." Joss winced when she went to smile, the pull on her split lip hurt. She touched her eye feeling the bigness to it. "We'll have to put some ice on it today, it should take the swelling down." He lightly stroked her cheek. Joss stared at him, his eyes were on her. Joss was a detective, she was good at reading people, and right now John was an open book. She saw emotions in his eyes that would have scared her months ago, before she realized how deep her feelings for this man were. Even about a month ago she would have been scared of what it could mean, since neither of them was ready for anything yet, but maybe they could take things REALLY slowly. If she could hear him confirm that yes, he did have feelings for her, not just an attraction, but honest too goodness feelings, and that yes he would be willing to try something in the future for them-when they both were ready, she'd be content. Because John never broke his word, she wanted to ask, she wanted to know, but more importantly she wanted to kiss this man.

"John, I should be taking care of you and Shaw. I got off with far less injuries than both you and Shaw combined," she said instead of everything she wanted to know, this wasn't the time nor place for it. Joss touched John's cheek instead of kissing him, deciding to give her split lip a chance to heal a little.

"I'm fine," Her eyes swung from John to Shaw, who was moving slowly and protectively curled her arm towards her body. Joss ignored the aches of her body, needing to go thank the woman. This time John allowed her to go, Joss slowly worked herself up, hating how much her body hurt. Joss made her way to Shaw, who had just stood watching them.

"I can't thank you enough Shaw, for saving me from Collins."

"You don't have to thank me, Carter." Shaw shook her head in disagreement. She had a lot of thanking to do to this woman, also a lot of apologizing.

"Yes I do, because I didn't like you, I didn't trust you, and honestly I didn't think you deserved to work with us. But you proved to me why John and Harold kept you around, because you're loyal, you're skilled, and more importantly you are trustworthy." Joss took a steadying breath. "Collins would have raped me if you didn't stop him; for that, no words can accurately express my gratitude to you. I'm sorry for how I treated you in the past, Shaw."

"Look Carter, you have nothing to apologize for, you didn't trust me, which was fine because I felt the same way about you and Fusco. I didn't trust you to not give John and me up." Joss's eyes widened. That was the reason this woman had been so cold and detached to her. She had been afraid she would hand them in? Never, she would never ever have done that. Shaw seemed to sense her shock, a small smile flickered on the woman's face. "It's in my nature Carter, to not trust and I thought John was a fool trusting in two detectives, but you proved to me why John and Harold brought you in on their mission. You're trustworthy, skilled, and dedicated to their purpose just as we are."

"While you two kiss and make up, I'll go make us all breakfast." Joss turned to glare at John who was struggling to get himself off the couch. He looked so tired, so weak, so very pale from bouncing up and down all night to check on her and Shaw. He needed to get stronger, healthier, and that didn't include staying up much of the night taking care of them, with an injured leg and healing from torture.

"He looks like one strong breeze will knock him over," Shaw whispered as John managed to get up. Joss noticed the wince which meant sleeping half sitting up had hurt him. John positioned his crutch underneath his arm, she had a half of mind to snatch it from him.

"John, stop, you need to relax; Shaw and I both are alright, its you that has a much longer recovery than we do."

"Yeah, crabby commando, you have lots of injuries you're still healing from." John glared at Shaw as she called him crabby commando. Joss sent her a strange look. "I've been hanging with Fusco, he rubs off on you even though you try to ignore him," she shrugged. There was a knock on the door, all three of them looked.

"You two sit, I'll go get it." John stated.

"John, sorry to break it to you, but you look ready to fall over; taking care of us women left you exhausted." Shaw allowed a grin to fill her pale face.

"Joss was just beaten up, nearly raped and you, Shaw, you were shot, I can go answer the door."

"Yeah well you're recovering from being tortured for six months, you still trump us." John scowled at Shaw. While the two bickered about who got to answer the door, Joss decided to seek her chance and made her way over to it. She swung the door open to see Fusco and Finch standing there with Bear at their heels.

"You alright, Carter?" Joss smiled a bit at Fusco's concern before nodding her head.

"I am, thanks to Shaw." She stepped back to allow them entrance. Both Shaw and John had stopped fighting when they realized Joss had gone to answer the door. "Everything will heal," she assured Fusco when she saw the concern still in his eyes for her.

"I'm glad you and Ms. Shaw are alright." She slid the door shut while Finch unclipped Bear from his leash who first ran to John, then to Shaw. They made their way over to where John stood unsteadily on his crutch with Shaw beside him. Joss watched as Shaw did what she had been thinking, snatching the crutch away from John, before lightly pushing on him. Joss bit her lip to stop herself from yelling at Shaw for pushing him, but with him only on his good leg he easily sank to the couch. Joss didn't see any pain in his eyes just irritation, so she relaxed.

"Give me my crutch back,"

"No Tiny Tim, you need to sit and rest," Shaw stated, moving gingerly away from him with the crutch in hand. "Carter and I haven't been reconditioning that damn knee of yours for you to screw it up, because you did too much last night." Joss moved over slowly ignoring her own aches, to help lift his injured leg onto the couch which earned her a look. She shrugged, well if Shaw was going to get to lecture him, so was she.

"You needed help," he griped.

"Yeah, well today is a new day, we are both feeling better minus a few aches and pains, while you look like you have been ran over by a truck, John," Joss huffed, flipping the blanket back on his body. "You aren't nowhere near being a hundred percent healthy since the months of torture you endured John. Shaw and I will heal much quicker than you will."

"Joss, I feel better," he tried to explain, a little halfheartedly.

"I know you do, but overdoing it will make you feel worse, not better." Joss caressed his face with her fingers, his eyes showed his surprise and he flickered a look around the room. Joss didn't care who knew how she felt about John, mostly everyone already knew how she felt anyway. She had already talked to Fusco, Shaw, and Finch, all separately. Why hide something everyone knew? Joss dropped her hand away from him, before turning to look at Fusco and Finch suspecting they weren't here for a social call. Either they were here to check up on them, or they had some vital information on the men that attacked them, or most likely a combination of both.

"What's up Finch?"

"Before we get into that, Detective Carter, everyone in this room knows of something that you don't." Joss blinked her eyes surprised. What, could that possibly be? "It is what John's, Ms. Shaw's, and my source is." she looked at Fusco feeling betrayed. He had known what it was and never bothered to tell her? Finch held up a hand, clearly seeing the betrayal written on her face. "No, detective, I just filled Detective Fusco in on the source this morning." She nodded her head and Fusco sent her a smile.

"I wouldn't have left you in the dark, Carter; four eyes here wanted to be the one to tell you." She was glad that Fusco wouldn't have kept her in the dark.

"Are you sure, Finch?" She shot a glare at John who wasn't even looking at her, but Finch instead.

"He's sure, so go ahead and spill, Finch." She wasn't going to let John bully Finch into not telling her.

"Our source is a machine, it detects acts of violence, I created it to prevent the next 9/11, but it saw every premeditated act. So I taught the machine to split up what was relevant which were to prevent terrorist attacks, and what was irrelevant into two separate lists."

"Let me guess, the irrelevant list is the people that you and John go out and save," she demanded angrily. "Where do you get the right to decide who is relevant and who isn't?"

"I know how it sounds detective, I can only defend myself by saying the sole purpose in building the machine was to prevent terrorist attacks." Joss swallowed her anger. She had no right to judge, it must have weighed on Finch's mind heavily while he was making this so called 'machine.' "When the machine detects something whether its from the relevant or irrelevant list all you get is a social security number." Now it made sense, Finch's surprise when she had shown him the texts she received when John had been first found.

"Why is it contacting me again with John's number then?" she asked quietly, her eyes slid to John and his eyes widened.

"It contacted you with my number again?"

"Yeah, its how I knew about it. I asked Finch earlier but he had been close lipped about it, something changed for him to tell me." She turned to eye Finch curiously. Whatever it was it wasn't good, Finch had been dead set against telling her.

"The machine is an artificial intelligence, detective, I needed it to be able to think like a human, be able to gauge human behavior. Mr. Reese and I are co-admin."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing to you, it just means the machine has taken a liking to Mr. Reese." Joss shifted her gaze to John who shrugged. She looked back at Finch, so what, the machine thought she was John's protector. Interesting, but there was something she wanted to know, something that had eaten away at her for all those long agonizing months John had been gone.

"Why didn't we get John's number in time? Why didn't we get a chance to stop this from happening to him, to stop him from being tortured?! If it's this all knowing machine, why wouldn't it let us save him?!" she demanded.

"I don't know why I didn't receive his number in time, detective, but I did receive it." She nodded, so they were just too late, she eyed John who looked surprised himself that his number came up. So he hadn't known, which meant he had been already nabbed by those stupid kids trying to score money for their drugs. "Ms. Shaw, John and myself had been working on another number, when a payphone rang. It doesn't give me the social security number outright, detective. By the time I learned who it was, Mr. Reese and I were on the phone discussing our other number when the men that came to collect the bounty tasered Mr. Reese." So they had been so close to protecting John. She wasn't sure if that made her feel any better, because they had failed in the end and now John was still recuperating.

"Did Joss's number come up?" Her eyes never left Finch's, she didn't want to look at John for fear she'd run to him. John was angry about what happened to her, she knew it, and she needed to get him to stay away. Collins had made it perfectly clear she was to go to John as bait, John was going to play right into their hands.

"No, Detective Carter's number never came up."

"Which makes sense, they weren't going to kill me, they wanted to rough me up to piss off John, to lure him out."

"It worked, because I'm going to find these men that did this to you." Her eyes did stray to him this time, she couldn't stop it.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am, Joss."

"I said no. John, this was for no other reason then to get you, to get Harold."

"I agree with the detective, John. Her attack was meant to lure you out to kill you. They know you are still weak from what they did to you, you are most vulnerable right now, and they want to rid themselves of you. They must realize Mr. Reese and I are loyal to one another, if they kill John they know I'll search the ends of the Earth to find whoever is responsible." Joss noticed the look that filtered onto John's face at Harold's profession. What, he was the only one allowed to care deeply about someone? She wished she could help John to realize he was worth being cared for, but it was up to him to learn it.

"How do we know that these men don't know where wonder boy and Carter are staying?" Fusco asked, drawing her attention back to the conversation at hand and drawing her gaze from John who appeared to be lost in thought.

"Easy, Detective Fusco, if they did, they would have already been here to kill Mr. Reese. No, Detective Carter has been cautious and careful about coming back here, they couldn't find him. So they figured out that John knows the detective and used her to their advantage."

"How did they know about me helping you?"

"Actually detective I don't think they know that you help us at all. Is this man the Detective Collins that attacked you?" he asked handing her a blurry photo. She gasped, he was sitting at her computer.

"Yes."

"He was the man that stole your photo, rummaged through your desk, and took a file. I had a hunch, which I had Detective Fusco check out for me last night, and it was correct. The file he took was the man in the suit."

"They were looking for me, using your file."

"They must have seen how many cases you worked of John's, figuring you had some sort of contact with John, and used that to their advantage." Joss felt sick inside and shaky. She slowly sat on the arm rest of the sofa chair closest to her.

"So this Collins stole my framed photo of myself and my son for some sick pleasure?" She felt like she was going to throw up. No wonder why he gave her the creeps, the man was truly disturbed.

"He was going to rape you, Carter," Shaw stated rather gently. "They were going to ambush you at the office building where they were going to rape you and beat you, so you could run and tell John here what happened. John, being pissed off, was going to show his face, to get vengeance. The plan was good, it would have worked, since there was like 5 men there. If you got away from one, surely another would just grab you." Joss closed her eyes imagining all the possibilities that could have happened, but thankfully hadn't. "But I just happened to tag along." Joss was so very grateful she had. Shaw and John were skilled in combat, she could fight but she wouldn't have ever been able to get away, not when Collins had been determined to rape her as he was.

"Shaw, did either you or Carter kill the man that was going to rape Joss, when you were escaping?" Joss shifted her gaze to John. The light usually in his eyes was gone, his voice was even more low and quiet.

"Ran out of bullets, I shot two of the four men that were on me a few times. I know I killed one with a bullet to the head, I'm not sure about the others. There were a couple guns lying on the ground, I would have gladly emptied the chamber into the man, but with us both injured, getting out was first priority since I didn't know how long it would take before he regained consciousness. So we beat a hasty retreat to regroup."

"I'll kill him before he'll ever touch you again." John's eyes were on her, the promise in his voice.

"I know." She knew John would want to get the men that did this to them, placing himself and Harold in danger. Joss needed to steer the conversation away from this and onto what seemed to be weighing Finch down. "You have information Finch, what is it?"

"Yes, the circular tattoos are markings to brand their loyalty to the leader, a Niall Cunningham aka Isaac Kilpatrick. I should have known who he was, with the last name Kilpatrick."

"Who is he?"

"He's a ruthless, demented man that served no other purpose then to bring extreme amounts of pain to anyone he met." Joss silently eyed the small man in front of her. Fusco appeared uneasy, so this was not new news to him. "I had a childhood friend named Suzanne Sabbath, she met a man, a rich man, who had taken an instant liking to her; that man was Niall Cunningham. Suzanne was happy, I didn't know much about him at the time, but after their wedding, after their daughter was born, things turned for the worst for her."

"What happened?"

"Niall Cunningham was cruel to Suzanne, we'll leave it at that. I took a job in his large corporation called Numilytec, trying to get close to him to bring him down."

"Never heard of it." Joss furrowed her brows.

"Of course not, I dissolved his company a long time ago, detective."

"So he's pissed off at you for dismantling his company?" Shaw demanded. "Seems a bit crazy to come after you for that."

"No sadly it's much more than that. I not only dissolved his company, left him multiple lawsuits against him from other companies he undermined years previously, I also hacked into his bank account and liquidated his accounts, donating all his money to charities on his behalf. I also handed the police documentation of his cruelty to Suzanne and to his daughter. The judge revoked his parental rights to his daughter April and ultimately proved he had murdered Suzanne's brother Patrick Sabbath."

"Kilpatrick, clever." Shaw sighed.

"Yes, I suspect he chose it to remind me of him, because Patrick was trying to save his sister, trying to get her out of that evil house. Suzanne was nearly dead, her daughter was being affected. I stole two million dollars of that man's money, gave it to her, and told her to never look back. She never did, I never saw her or knew what happened to her or her daughter until I went with Detective Fusco to April McGee's safe house." Finch paused and a sick realization made Joss eye Shaw then John all of whom shared in her sad look. "I didn't even recognize Suzie."

"Oh my god, April is his daughter." Joss whispered.

"Yes,"

"He was going to set up his own daughter for murder?"

"Yes, I suspect it as a way to get back at Suzanne. I didn't recognize April either because I hadn't seen her since she was barely two years old."

"It makes sense now, Boyd Daniels and Maya Armstrong were collateral damage."

"Preciously."

"How does he know of what you did, Finch?" Joss asked lightly, seeing the slumped shoulders.

"I wanted him to know it was me, detective, I wanted him to know I saved my friend, that I got her away from him, and he was going to prison for the rest of his life because of me," Harold stated, tears swimming brightly in his eyes. "She didn't deserve the treatment she was receiving, she was dying, and I suspect if I didn't help her get away from him April wouldn't be alive right now. When Patrick was murdered he did a good job of covering it up, but we all knew who did it. I found proof and sent it to the police. He begged me not to, tried to throw money my way, but I didn't need it nor want it. He vowed vengeance, he vowed to make me and Suzie pay for destroying his life. I never thought he'd get out, he was paroled five years ago. Prison was overcrowded, they thought he was reformed because of his cooperation in prison." Joss sighed, politics at their worst, they allowed a demented man free. "I suspect ever since then, he's been building his empire again. Probably had money stashed away somewhere and somehow has gotten these men to become loyal to him, even willing to die for him, he's good at manipulating people, Jocelyn."

"Finch,you need to lay low; this man views you as _who_ blew apart his world." Joss echoed John's sentiments. Finch needed to hide out before this guy found him, the guy had tortured John for fun for six long months, no telling what'd he do to Harold.

"Actually Mr. Reese, I believe I need to lure him out by showing myself."

"NO."

"Mr. Reese, you are in no position to stop me."

"The hell I can't." he threw the blanket off his body and was struggling to get up. Joss flew to him. "Harold, you think just because I'm injured I won't follow you, no one in this room can stop me." Joss needed to calm him down before he damaged that damn leg permanently.

"Relax John, Finch isn't going to do that, there is another way."

"No, I'm sorry detective there is no other way. Far too many of you have been harmed in his personal vendetta against me, I cannot risk your lives again." Joss felt John's struggles begin once again.

"I said no, there is another way. Finch, we have to outsmart him and his men," Joss explained, gently touching John before turning to look back at Finch. She eyed him, seeing the pain in his blue gaze. He felt a terrible amount of guilt over what had happened to them all because of this group. This group looking for him. Joss moved towards Finch, she gently touched his arm for support. "They have no rules, they have no morals, but also they have no allies."

"I'm afraid I believe they do, detective."

"Who?"

"Decima." Joss blinked, looking back at Shaw and John as they both said it; she had no idea who they were.

"Who?"

"A group searching for the machine," Finch supplied.

"And looking for Finch," Shaw sighed. "We got an up close and personal view of the lovely Greer, didn't we John? God, I wanted to shoot him in his wrinkly ass face." Joss saw John slowly nod his head, looking upset.

"He knew I knew who you were Finch. It would make sense how this Cunningham found out we worked together."

"Yes, that's who I am suspecting is helping him as well, Mr. Reese. It was the only explanation I could come up with. Cunningham would not know of you and I any other way."

"But we don't know if they are helping them or not."

"True, but its very likely, detective, Decima infected the machine back when John was strapped with a bomb. Kara Stanton uploaded it into the system, which meant numbers came late…"

Joss stared at Finch when more sadness filled his eyes and finished his thoughts. "Which meant Szymanski and Beecher's deaths that could have been prevented, weren't."

"Precisely."

"It wasn't your fault Finch. Szymanski and Beecher's deaths aren't your fault, neither is what happened to John to Shaw or me. None of it is."

"I truly wished John and I could have saved Szymanski and Beecher for you, detective, but with the virus inside the machine we were receiving numbers too late or not at all; for that people were dying."

"I know you would have; I know that you, John, and Shaw are good people, and better friends." She smiled softly at the elder man whose corners of his mouth briefly moved up to share in hers. Joss felt a little more peace knowing about why Szymanski and Cal's deaths weren't prevented, but she couldn't concentrate on that now. She needed to figure out a way to keep Harold safe. So if this Decima group and Niall Cunningham were working together to find Finch and the machine, they might be able to use that to their advantage. "Stop me anywhere if I'm wrong, Finch." Finch looked perplexed but nodded his head. "So this group Decima is searching for you and the machine to control it, while this Cunningham is searching for you because of his own personal vendetta."

"So far correct."

She nodded before continuing. "You believe Decima and Cunningham, with his merry men, are working together to find you?"

"Yes I believe so, it would fit."

"Sounds to me like a double cross could happen," Joss said thoughtfully; if they were careful they could orchestrate that into occurring and take each group down. They needed everyone back to full strength soon, they couldn't rely on a gunshot wounded Shaw, an out of shape Fusco, a handicap Finch, and her with a strained ankle and more aches and pains then she ever felt in her life. Her eyes strayed to John who was sitting at attention, looking ready to snap in two. But his sharp gaze was on her meaning he was listening to her.

"What do you mean detective?"

"Come on Finch, this guy tortured John, had one of his men nearly rape me, they shot Shaw, they have been gunning down Russians and HR right and left. So what, he's just going to allow this Greer guy any face time with you? Sounds to me like he's going to use this Greer and Decima to help him, then he's going to backstab and take you with him."

"Could be, this guy is ruthless." Shaw nodded her head slowly.

"Or Decima might backstab Cunningham," John thought out loud. "Think about it, Decima wants Finch to find the machine so they can have ultimate control, Greer is too power hungry himself to share."

"So maybe Decima and the angry tat men from death could neutralize each other." Fusco grinned. "I like it, but has a lot of banking on that they are working together and are willing to screw each other over."

"If they are working together, maybe we can orchestrate it that it seems like they had," Joss said slowly.

"How?"

"We'll use their need for power to our advantage, maybe, just maybe, we can end this once and for all."

* * *

Author's note: okay sorry for such a late update I have been sick and busy with work and thanks to being sick and being too busy for my illness I sort of laid myself out :( But I'm feeling better so I got some updates YAY. I'm gonna do two, this one now, and another soon. I have to reread the next chapter before I post it, just to make sure its the way I wish it to be.

In the next chapter, the team's idea gets more flushed out although its not the way Carter wants it, and something HUGE happens to John, and for Careese. Okay sorry for teasing lol... I think you'll enjoy it.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing I'll get to looking at the next chapter right away to make up for no post in over a week!


	20. Chapter 19

Shaw, Finch, and Fusco all left after agreeing to talk about a plan to bring down this new group with the ruthless Niall Cunningham tomorrow when everyone was more fresh. John was looking tired and cranky, her body ached and hurt, Shaw looked like she needed a shower and some sleep herself, and Finch appeared to be still guilt ridden. Joss' son arose from his slumber after the tense conversation and tried to take care of her which she refused. He had wanted to call in to school, but she assured him a million times she was fine. Joss eyed herself in the mirror, seeing the scrapes and bruises. The swelling of her eye wasn't as bad thankfully she could actually open it to see. They needed a way to take some of the power away from this group. Just how? She slowly backed away from the mirror, throwing open the bathroom door feeling much better after a long, warm shower. She felt refreshed and energized, if not a bit sore still from the beating she took last night. Her slight good mood slid away as her eyes grew stormy, her hands on her hips, as she stared at the scene in front of her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Joss demanded, eyeing John who was on the floor doing his physical training alone. She rushed towards him where he sat on the soft mat off to the side of the living room, sweating and panting.

"Training," his short answer was breathless as he continued working.

"Damn it John, stop." he wasn't even scheduled to workout today, he was already exhausted and weak from taking care of her and Shaw.

"No, I need to be healed enough to be able to walk without a damn crutch."

"You need to take care of yourself."

"I need to get on my feet."

"I said you need to take care of yourself." His gaze slid from what he was doing to glare at her, which she happily reciprocated.

"He nearly raped you, nearly shot and killed Shaw, they are after Finch, and you are telling me I need to go slow to take care of myself. I don't give a damn about myself, its you, Finch, Shaw, and Fusco I'm worried about."

"You will be playing right into their hands, John." She stubbornly refused to let him lift his injured leg, pressing her hands on his thigh. He didn't have the strength to lift anyways. His hands pushed hers away. "Damn it, stop it, John. Just stop, I'm not letting you do this."

"You won't stop me."

"Yes I will," she vowed angrily, blinking her eyes, hating that tears were threatening.

"If they are looking at me, they won't be looking at you. They want to kill me to lure Finch out, so I'm going to lure them into a trap."

When she said they needed a plan to draw both Decima and Cunningham's group out, she hadn't meant him. "John, that won't work! You can't even walk without a crutch."

"Not yet," he agreed, but his tone told her that he soon would. "You said we needed a plan, we needed to lure them out into the open."

"Not this."

"Yes this."

"Why? Why should you be the one that goes out as bait? Why, John?"

"Because each and everyone of you belong to this world, I don't."

"That's a load of bull." Anger brewed in the pit of her stomach.

"You can sit here and tell me I can't do this all you want, Carter, but I'm doing it. We both know it's what their after."

"You'll get yourself killed."

"It will be worth it if I can take these bastards down."

She stared at him. "Don't you want to live? Or am I just keeping you alive for no damn reason?" Joss demanded hating the quiver to her voice, hating him for putting it there. He didn't look up. "So I saved you for no reason," she said tightly and his eyes lifted.

"You saved me, I'm grateful, now I'm saving Harold." John's voice was a combination of sadness and commitment.

"Why does it have to be you?"

"Because I need to keep everyone safe."

"Why does it have to be you?" she repeated. "Why, why can't it be me, or Fusco, or Shaw that saves Harold? But I already know the answer. Its because he saved you, right? He saved you when he gave you a reason to live, when he gave you this job of saving numbers, when he found you when no one else gave a damn. When he gave you a purpose."

"I owe him my life, I will protect him." His tone brooked no discussion but that didn't deter Carter.

"Harold won't get over the fact you died because of him," she hissed. "Don't you know what that would do to him, don't you know that will kill him?! Harold won't be able to handle that sort of guilt, John! He couldn't handle the fact that you were tortured for his whereabouts, how can you think he'd be okay with the fact that you were dead to save him?!"

"Joss, it's the best plan and you know it."

"No actually I don't know it, John, since I think there is a better way. There has to be a better way then you trying to drag your leg around while taking on these men that are taking apart this city. You're not thinking straight, you are worried about us, and its clouding your judgment."

"Joss-"

"You're thinking about that man's hands on me, you're thinking about what they did to Shaw, you're thinking about what they want to do to Finch, but most of all you're thinking about getting retribution for what they did to you. They took six months of your life from you, they broke your body and nearly killed you."

He trembled as she spoke and she knew she got to the heart of why he was pushing himself so hard. His eyes bore into hers. "Stop," his word was low, curt, and told her to stop pushing him but she wasn't going to. She finally was getting to where John was hiding himself. Edie's voice rang in her head when she had gripped John's hand _'overwhelming grief is inside you__, __I never felt so much pain in someone before__'. _Joss felt close to finding his pain over what happened to him. John's body was tense, telling her to back off, but she couldn't. She wouldn't, not when he needed this, not when he needed to get some of his pain out. He wasn't any less of a man if he allowed himself to grieve over what they did to him.

"You want to go out there for nothing but revenge. You want to get back at them for torturing you, for cutting you open, for electrocuting you, for doing whatever they did to your leg, you want to get back at them for making you scream in agony." His body began shaking, Joss gentled her voice, moving even closer towards him. "You want to get them for making you think you were going to die in that damned hell hole without anyone beside you. You didn't want to die, but you were willing to, to save Harold's life." She breathed, touching his face, feeling the tears streak down his cheeks. "You want to make them pay for making you wake up in the middle of the night crying from your nightmares, feeling like you're back there, back in your hell you lived in-survived from." Joss felt like she was almost there, almost getting him to let his grief out. "Look at me, John," she whispered so quietly.

She waited several moments before he did as she requested. She saw in his eyes, that one gentle push would send him over the edge. Joss wished she didn't have to, but she did, he wouldn't completely heal over this if she didn't.

"Most of all, you wish they hadn't taken away your reason to go on, to live, of saving others."

"Joss-" her name was a choked whisper, he was still trying to hold it in, but she wasn't going to let him. Joss, leaned her forehead against his gently holding his cheeks.

"Let it out John, its okay, no one has to know," she whispered pressing gentle kisses against his cheeks, John's body shuddered softly, she felt the hot tears against her skin, heard the soft gasping noise he made, before another shudder coursed through his body. John's suppressed sobs were soft, and she gently held him while he cried for the months of physical and mental torture he endured. Joss just held him the entire time, allowing John to let it out. The man bottled his feelings in quite well, which worried her; but she was just going to be persistent with him. John limply laid back when he was spent, she followed, cuddling him close to her. John held her tightly as if she could keep his demons away, his eyes closed, the tears dampening his cheeks, and she wished she could do more for him. She wished she could help wash away the anguish on his features, wash away the pain in his heart. "I love you," she breathed in his ear. His eyes opened, shifting to hers, and she saw vulnerability there. John was cut open, everything laid bare to her, and she felt the need to hold him, to protect him.

"Why?" his voice was gruff, but the question was honest, not fishing for a compliment, not teasing; it was genuine. His blue eyes glittered, shone bright, and she found herself mesmerized by them. She could see everything he was feeling and more.

"Why not?" she turned the question around on him. She gently wiped at his cheeks. "What's not to love? Tell me John, why shouldn't I love you?" John stared at her seemingly trying to come up with something. "See, you can't even give me a reason not to love you. I told you, I won't ask for anything from you but I'm not going to stop telling you how I feel about you either," she reminded gently. John's eyes slid to her mouth, Joss watched as he inched closer to her, and her breath hitched as John kissed her. She ignored the pain in her lip, not about to give up this gift he was giving her. Joss was gently pulled closer to him, his lips so soft against hers, and he deepened the kiss. Joss sighed as she was pulled on top of him, her hands on the mat beside his head as he slid his tongue to lick the seam of her mouth. She moaned as she happily opened for him, John's tongue was in her mouth seconds later. Joss felt John's hands skim down to her butt.

She sighed into his kiss as she moved her hands into his hair. Joss pushed out of the kiss, loving his hands on her ass massaging her. He brought her up against him grinding her against his good leg, and Joss moaned hotly. She hadn't been with a man in a while. She hadn't slept with Cal, she hadn't gotten to that point in their relationship before he had been killed. After last night, almost being raped she wanted to be with a man that would cherish her, love her body, make her feel better after everything that Collins had done. Her aches and pains she had earlier were fleeing fast. Joss captured John's lips with hers, this time she controlled of the kiss.

John's good leg slid between hers and she pushed back out of the kiss reaching down to grab the hem of her shirt before yanking it up. John sighed as he eyed her in just her jeans and bra, she threw the shirt beside them. Joss lifted her leg over his hip and straddled him before leaning back onto him, her mouth on his again. John's hands skimmed from her butt, to her hips, then to her front and grabbed her breasts. Joss sighed into the kiss, parting his lips, sinking her tongue into his warm, wet cavern.

His thumbs brushed her nipples over and over again until they hardened painfully at his constant touch. She wanted to feel his mouth on her, she wanted him so desperately. John was kissing her back with equal fervor, she was forgetting everything that was horrible in the world by being with him. His tongue chased hers back into her mouth, his moan was music to her ears, the need to be with him was so powerful. Then suddenly he pushed her back.

"What are we doing?" he gasped, his hands falling from her breasts. She placed her hands on either side of his head, his hands landed on her hips. She felt his burgeoning erection, wishing that damned brain of his would shut off.

"Acting on our feelings," she supplied, gently licking her lips, tasting blood, her split lip must of reopened.

"You're hurt." His eyes flicked to her bruises on her body, before they lifted to her face, eyeing her lip, then her eye.

"I wasn't feeling any pain, John," she cracked him a lopsided grin.

"Your lip is bleeding,"

"It will stop, I didn't care, John, I wanted _your_ kiss." She couldn't help but emphasize 'your,' John had been the one to do the kissing. She had been content just laying beside him, he had been the one to kiss her first.

"I shouldn't have, you're hurt." he said quietly as his fingers brushed her cheek. Joss noticed John had yet to remove her from his lap. She felt her emotions yo-yo, most likely he was feeling the same annoying up and down as she was.

"I'll heal." She tapped a finger against his lips. "John, you're going to have to figure out what you feel for me, because its not fair to send me mixed signals," she whispered. His eyes met hers. "I told you where I stand, now you've got to make up your mind." She leaned down, kissing his lips softly before lifting herself off of him. Joss grabbed her shirt before standing up. Joss yanked it back on while John watched her. She had a feeling she knew how John felt about her, she could feel it in the way he kissed her like he couldn't get enough of her, saw it in his eyes as he looked at her after crying. She heard it when he told her he thought about her when he was being tortured, but John wasn't ready to face it. He wasn't ready to deal with the fact that he was falling for her, she wasn't sure if he could ever deal with the fact. "I'll go make us some sandwiches, you're so close to gaining all the weight you need to." Joss said trying to ignore the ravenous desire she had for the man as he continued to lay on the soft mat eyeing her.

She moved towards the kitchen, but froze when she heard John quietly whisper, evidently hoping she wouldn't hear him, but the words sounded shouted in her heart.

"I love you, Joss." She wanted to turn around, run to him tell him she heard him, but she felt like she would be intruding on him. John wasn't ready to say it to her; Joss smiled as she kept walking to the kitchen, feeling like she was walking on air.

* * *

"You rang, Lady Rambo?" Fusco decidedly was warming up to the woman now that she'd saved Carter's life. She still seemed awfully pale to him, to be calling for a meeting, but he slid into the booth across from her. "No four eyes?"

"No, Harold went back to HQ to think things over. We're all in agreement we need to figure out what to do with Cunningham, but no one seems to be able to figure out a decent enough plan. I like Carter's, but we need to get it into motion. If we can't agree on a plan together, I'm afraid Harold or John will take matters into their own hands."

"The crabby commando won't go anywhere, not with Carter tanning his hide if he so much of thinks to escape her watchful eye."

"Carter won't be able to stop him much longer no matter how much she protests. John's got the itch to end this, he's got the itch to find the bastard that nearly raped the woman he loves and the man that is threatening his savior. John won't listen to anyone." Fusco eyed Shaw, she seemed to think wonder boy was in love with Carter. But he didn't comment on it. "I have the itch to end this myself, they tortured the hell out of John, threatening Finch, nearly raped Carter, and shot me, my patience for these bastards has run empty. They're going down!"

"Okay, so what's the plan all-knowing one?"

"We use Carter's plan, just add to it; she said we needed something to lure them out, right?"

"Right."

"Well we give them what they're after."

"Okay G.I. Jane, that gunshot must have played with your brain somehow because there is no way, no how, John is going to let you use four eyes as bait."

"I'm not talking about Harold or John."

"Who?"

"Suzanne."

"Einstein won't go with it."

"He will when I tell him that she will not be in any danger; we just need them to think they found Suzanne and April."

"That will only serve to lure the tat-men-from-death out, not this other group called Decima."

"True, I should have killed Greer when I had a chance, but we still don't even know if this group Decima is working with Cunningham. Its still our best shot for at least luring this Cunningham out in the open. If Decima is around we'll deal with them later."

"Look Shaw, I'm all for using bait that doesn't include our mutual friends, but I still don't see how either Harold or John will allow us to use civilians over themselves " Fusco sighed. "Good plan though."

"It is a good plan," Fusco turned around hearing Finch's voice. He slid in the booth next to Shaw. "But you are quite correct, Detective Fusco we won't use it; we need to use me as bait."

"No!" Shaw said quickly.

"Yes. Ms. Shaw, you both realize the gravity of the situation we are in. Jocelyn's idea is a good one, use their need for power against one another, but to do that we need them both in the same area. Both groups are looking for me, they won't kill me…not at first. He wants to make me pay, Greer wants my help to find the machine. So my life won't be in danger right away."

"I don't care, you're not doing this."

"I'm in agreement with Shaw on this one, four eyes, you know as well as I do John will go ballistic when he finds out you went to lure these men out."

"Mr. Reese doesn't need to know."

"Like that will worked. He figured out his number came up; Reese isn't stupid, Finch."

"I never ever believed otherwise, Ms. Shaw."

"Then why are you treating him that way. John will figure this out, he will figure out our plan because we need Carter's help with it. She won't do it, she won't help you hurt yourself."

"Even if it is a way to save John." Fusco rolled his eyes. Carter was in love with wonder boy, but she cared about this little man too. They were friends, Carter wouldn't allow a friend of hers just to go on a suicide mission.

"Even if it was a way to save the world, she wouldn't help you do this, Harold," Shaw stated. Harold nodded.

"I know you all care for me, I know that and I appreciate it. If I know John as well as I think I do, I'm assuming Jocelyn is having a hard time keeping him under control. He's going to want to go out to protect me, to protect all of us, and I can't let Mr. Reese do that. I can't let John get killed trying to save me."

"John chose not to give you up Harold, he'd gladly give his life to protect you, so would I, its in our nature. Both John and I are soldiers, we'll die for you." Shaw said steadily without a crack of emotion. Fusco eyed the pair, seeing the care for each other. Finch had touched this whack job lady who was slowly showing she did have a tiny heart like the Grinch.

"Okay not to break up this touchy-feely moment but, I think this plan would be good if we knew for sure Decima and the tat-men-from-death are working together. I think we need to come up with a plan that's a bit different."

"What do you suggest, Fusco?" Shaw asked and Finch eyed him. Fusco finally had their attention.

"Divide and conquer, Lady Rambo, we divide and conquer." he smirked.

"What do you have in mind, detective?" Finch asked perplexed.

"Before I get to telling my idea we might need some outside help." Fusco stated sending Shaw a look.

"Who?"

"Elias."

* * *

Author's note: Poor Reese finally allowing himself a chance to grieve over what happened to himself thanks to Joss's gentle prodding. And I know I am probably getting the stink eye for ceasing the love fest between Careese they were so close and yet...nothing lol. But to ward off people from hating on me, the next chapter...is a definitely good chapter for Careese if you catch my drift *waggles brows*

Thanks as always for reading, and an FYI Precious Moments is coming soonish :D


	21. Chapter 20

_**Author's note: I'm really sorry for the length of time between the chapters, it's been a long week for different reasons and so here is finally the next chapter, this one is definitely the calm before the storm, but if you do not like to read smut...this is then definitely NOT a chapter for you. Lots of dialogue at first, but about midway down you'll want to just stop reading, just an fyi!**_

_**Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers who are gently ask for updates, I'm hoping this week isn't nearly as rough as the past two have been. Thank you for being patient, and thanks for the wonderful words to each of my reviewers including you wondertastic guests that I can truly thank personally like I wish too!**_

* * *

John stared at the ceiling unable to sleep. He wasn't taking his pain medication as much anymore, not when he was feeling better. John had a difficult time sleeping before his months of torture, but since then his insomnia had gotten worse. John still felt exposed, naked, and raw from this afternoon's earlier conversation with Joss. He hated it, hated the despair that seeped out of him, he felt embarrassed remembering the sobs that escaped him. He was a damned soldier, he was a monster, why did he feel anything?! John hated feeling vulnerable, he blamed it on Joss. Every time his eyes closed all he thought about was her warm body on his, kissing her, touching her, needing her. He loved her. He supposed he had been in love with for a long while now, she had been what kept him going, kept him alive during his months of hell. Joss had been able to get him to release some of his anguish, John didn't wish to share his pain with anyone, yet with her he had.

"_I'm in love with you__, __John." _John squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to work that memory from his heart and brain. But he couldn't, it wouldn't go.

"_You're drunk." _

"_Yes I am, but it won't change how I feel tomorrow or the next day, or any day after that__, __John. I love you and I don't fall in love easily." _

John opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling, that night fresh on his mind, she had been so utterly vulnerable with him. Sobbing in agony, he hadn't known what to do for her, hadn't known that she had that deep of feelings for him. But he should have known, he should have figured it out; what was swimming in her dark chocolate orbs when they had talked that night after their first kiss they shared. It was swimming in them then, he had seen it, but foolishly he turned a blind eye. He didn't want to think the strong, independent, intelligent, and beautiful Jocelyn Carter was in love with him.

"_You didn't make me fall in love, I fell in love with you because you're easy to love." _

"_Stop."_

"_What, what's not to love__, __John?"_

"_How about all the things I've done in the past?"_

"_But I'm not in love with the man from the past__, __I'm in love with John Reese, the man that is standing here with me today. The man that is slowly healing from his past, his demons, from his emotional wounds he has just recently suffered. I love you__, __John__; __I love your mind, your body and your heart."_

John beat his fist against the mattress before throwing his comforter off, and forced his body up. He eyed the clock on the nightstand, seeing it was midnight, knowing she needed sleep, but he didn't care. He grabbed his crutch before getting up. John ignored his aches as he moved towards the door. She had been right, he had overdone things. John exited his bedroom, seeing her form on the couch, it was dark inside the apartment.

"Did you mean it?" he demanded gruffly, hoping she was awake but in the end it wouldn't matter. He needed to talk with her about this, or he wasn't ever gonna get any sleep himself.

"J-John?" she sounded half awake, as she sat up. "What's wrong?"

"Did you mean it Joss?" He repeated, not sure what answer he wanted to hear.

"Mean what?" she asked, yawning mightily as she flipped the lamp on beside her, filling them with a soft glow. John felt a kick to the gut as he eyed her. She looked sleepy, her hair rumpled, her face free of makeup, the split lip and bruises didn't detract from her beauty she was the most beautiful woman he ever saw in his life. "What are you talking about?"

"When you were drunk."

The sleep fled from her eyes. "You know I did."

"The part where you said you could love me even though I did horrible things. How, how can you love me?"

"You're not that man anymore, you did those things when you worked for the agency."

"I've killed since the agency, Joss. I killed Detective Stills."

"Its not that black and white, John." She pushed her blanket off of her and she stood up. "I meant every word that night. I still do." She was standing in front of him, he grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her to him, and kissed her. He was careful of her goose-eggs. Joss sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him back with equal intensity when she pushed her lips from his. Her hands were on his hips while her lips on his neck.

"John-" she breathed.

She was the light that shouldn't ever touch him, he was a damned monster belonging to the shadows and god help him, he couldn't push her away. John sought her mouth again, kissing her desperately feeling as if he was falling and she was the only thing that could catch him. He leaned on his crutch while he sucked on her lower lip gently. Joss's hands were grasping his butt while his hands held her gently so he could kiss her more passionately. Joss pushed out of the kiss. "I-I can't keep doing this," she moaned as he skimmed his fingertips down her sides pausing on her subtle hips.

"I love you," he said quietly, her breath hitched, and she grabbed his cheeks. He leaned his forehead against hers, feeling her press kisses to his cheeks. "I know I shouldn't…" Joss shook her head ceasing his words with a kiss to his lips. It was soft, tender, and loving before she pushed out of it again.

"We love each other, " she whispered before finding his pulse, kissing him there. John clutched her to him, while she ran her tongue against his skin. "It's okay to feel, John," she whispered against his skin, his eyes closed as he moved a little giving her better access to his neck.

"You deserve better, any man is lucky to have you," he moaned. He was failing miserably in his clumsy attempt to make her understand she could have any man she chose. She didn't have to settle for him, because that would be what she was doing…settling. He wasn't some damn prize, he had a lot of flaws, he didn't know how to open up, and she just deserved more. John was having a hard time, keeping the noble idea of letting her go if she wanted him to, because she felt so good in his arms, she felt so right there. She pulled back just enough to gaze into his eyes intensely. It was dark in the living room, but he could still make out her eyes, he saw honesty pulsing there.

"I choose you, John. I only want you, you are the only man I can imagine myself moving on with. You're the only man I want to try again with." She paused, seemingly gathering breath. "I'm scared, when I told you I wasn't ready for anything that was the truth. It may still be the truth but I can't stop feeling the way I do even if I tried. I do love you, I'm not sure if that's enough for both of us since we've been burned by love, we've both been hurt badly before." She moved closer to him, he felt her raise herself on her tippy toes so she was closer to eye level with him. Her hands on his shoulders. "But I'm not scared enough to not plunge into this. Say you'll take the plunge with me," she whispered. He looked at her, her hands rested on his shoulders, her chocolate eyes on his. But he didn't say the words. Hurt shadowed her features. She nodded curtly, before she turned to leave his arms. John caught her around the waist not about to let her go. Joss looked up into his face.

"Joss," his words caught in his throat, he hadn't done this in such a very long time. He didn't think he had the right to choose her; she was beautiful, perfect, and filled with so much light that surely he'd diminish it by touching her. Joss struggled in his arms, he refused to let her go, the words clogged in his throat, he was so afraid to speak them. Afraid because he knew once he did, she'd never let him go, never let him be alone again. Could he be the man she needed was a question that gnawed at him.

"I'm not doing it for you, John, in the end you'll end up hating me, and I can't live with that. You have to say it for yourself, I need to hear you say you choose me too." She was still struggling to get away from him. "Let me go now, I don't want to hurt you." He closed his eyes hearing the pain in her voice. He was hurting her. John tightened his hold around her waist. "John," her voice sounded so sad, John leaned his head down taking her mouth in his. John kissed her for what seemed like an eternity but was only actually a few seconds because Joss stiffened in his arms, and pushed at him. "Stop, stop it, you can't do this to me." He knew that in the back of his mind, he was hoping he could work the courage to tell her he chose her. The last time he tried to ask for a woman to wait for him, it ended badly because he hadn't been able to do so. He didn't want to think about losing this woman, he loved Joss, and it was time to man up. She managed to free herself from his hold, she turned her back to him.

"I choose you, Joss, I choose you to move on with too." A strangled sound escaped her as she whirled around, grabbing his cheeks and kissing him. Her body bumped into his almost knocking him over since he was only on a crutch and one good leg. Joss's hands roamed his hips and butt while his own trailed down the curvature of her spine, she moaned at as his hands made their way to the small of her back, before dipping lower cupping her nice ass in his hands. Her pajama shorts were so short he slid his fingers up the fabric from her thighs and touched her through her panties. Joss's kiss ended on a hot gasp as she pushed from his mouth. She lifted his t-shirt up and he lifted his hands up, his crutch falling to the floor. Joss leaned forward to his body to gently kiss and lick a jagged scar on his upper shoulder. His hands were in her hair.

"No going back John," she moaned against his skin.

"No going back," he agreed, he couldn't even if he wanted to. He couldn't stop himself from wanting this woman. "Uh, Joss-" he sighed as she continued to explore his chest.

"Nu-uh, John, you just promised no going back." she responded as she licked a circle around his flat male nipple. She caught one between her teeth to gently suck on. John gasped.

"Joss, uh-that's not it," he moaned as she scraped her teeth against his nipple before soothing it with her tongue. Joss dipped her hands beneath the elastic of his boxer-briefs.

"Oh then what is it?" she asked as her mouth kissed its way to his other nipple. "You were cleared for sex a week ago. I know since, Kristina told me all about it, she was very happy to hear that you could rev your engine up," she said dancing her tongue across his chest.

"Well for starters we're in the living room, your son can walk out at any moment to find us almost having sex." He was proud of himself for being able to speak an intelligible sentence in his current state. Joss's mouth lifted off his chest, her hands still very much in his underwear.

"Crap, with our luck, he'll wake up to get water or something." She made a sound as she removed her hands from his underwear, patting his butt gently. She picked up his crutch and shirt from the floor. Joss handed him the crutch, while she slung his shirt on her shoulder, before she grabbed his free hand tugging him towards his bedroom. John paused her. She looked up expectantly at him.

"Joss, you were nearly raped I don't want you moving too fast-"

She smiled softly.

"I love you, John, I love that you care about me like that. But I'm sure. I've wanted to be with you for a long time now."

"Joss, once we get in there, I won't be able to stop." He needed her to make sure because once they entered that bedroom he knew what would happen. He hadn't had sex in over a year, his abstinence was a combination of things like he couldn't find a woman he wanted to bed, then he was grabbed and tortured, and then he was healing. Joss wasn't just any woman, he loved her and wanted her, but he didn't want to be moving too quickly for her own sake. "We can wait, if its what you need-" he'd do what he didn't want to, he'd take matters into his own hands, literally.

"John, you're so sweet, but hear me when I say I want this. I want you, I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Don't you want a date?" he asked trying to stall for some reason. She smiled seemingly sensing what he was doing.

"John, its not like we're strangers, hopping into the sack. I want dates, I want to spend time with you as a man and a woman, but more importantly for now its not possible. I want to be with you, tonight. But I'm getting the feeling you don't, for some reason. Its not because you are having issues-uh-rising to the occasion." Joss smirked as her eyes slid down his body before lifting back to his eyes. "So its something else. Let me guess, you can nod or shake your head if I'm right or not." He sighed. "Is it because it won't be just sex between us?" His eyes widened as she spoke. "Ah, so that's it. John Reese, you are stalling me for sex because you know its gonna be more than just that. More than just physical gratification. You are truly the most adorable man I have ever met."

"Joss, I'm not adorable." he scowled at even being considered adorable. Puppies and kittens were adorable, he was not. Joss nodded her head, as she took his hand helping him into his room.

"You know you claiming you're not adorable, with that cute little scowl on your face makes you even more adorable." She said enclosing them in his bedroom, throwing his shirt on the floor.

"I'll show you adorable." he whispered, catching her around the waist yanking her to him. Joss sighed happily as he dipped his head to kiss her. John slid his tongue into her mouth to touch hers, and she moaned as his tongue danced with hers. She pushed his crutch out from under him. He broke the kiss, struggling to remain on one good leg, but Joss easily pushed him backwards onto the bed.

"Definitely, not adorable." She moaned as she squatted down nibbling at his good knee while her hands gently touched his injured leg that was slowly healing. Joss moved back, eyeing his leg, seeing the scar where the doctor repaired his knee. She pressed a tiny kiss to his leg before she stood up, gently taking his ankle and helping him lift his injured leg onto the bed. John just got comfy on the bed when she followed him, climbing on top of him, kissing him. Joss pushed him back with subtle pressure on his shoulders until he laid back on his pillows while she kissed him hotly. John felt his insides singed by her, she broke the kiss as she settled on top of him more firmly. His growing arousal was fitting snuggly between her warm thighs. "Joss, hold up-" a thought just crossed his mind. However, Joss didn't seem to care; he thought of something that was going to halt this entire night. She was back caressing his chest with her tongue.

"No." she moaned as she licked a slow trail down his chest to stop shy of his navel.

"I don't have any condoms," he blurted out.

"Mmmm," she hummed against him before she lifted her head up to look at him. "That is a problem," she whispered before she crawled back up his body to capture his lips again with hers. John kissed her back, trying to reign himself in knowing she still had to be sore from what happened. He pushed out of the kiss.

"Joss, we can't do this unless we have a condom." She sat back, and smiled. She bounced off his bed, running to the door opening it before rushing out of the room her hair flying. He slowly leaned up on his forearms to look around, wondering where she went off in that sort of hurry. Joss reappeared with a big box of condoms. His eyes went wide. She shrugged as she slid the door shut once more.

"I got them from Kristina for Christmas." His nurse Kristina!

"WHAT!"

"It was a gag gift John! Sheesh, she thinks you're dating Shaw."

"So what-she wants you to have sex with an army?" he demanded as he eyed the big box of 100 condoms.

"She thought I was pining away for you, she wanted me to move on, thinking you were in a happy relationship with Sam." she climbed back onto the bed flopping the box next to him.

I've never seen a box of 100 condoms before." He smiled looking at the box while Joss climbed onto him. "A box of 36 maybe, or even a 12 pack." John said as he was pushed back onto his back and looked up at her. "You're not listening to me."

She chuckled as she had resumed caressing his chest, his hands rubbing her arms.

"You're right, I'm not, it's going in one ear and out the other. Plus, I'm sort of hurt you aren't distracted, but I'll try again." John moaned as her wicked tongue dipped into his navel as her hand brushed his erection. He felt her smile against his skin, when she nipped him before shifting back up his body. "Much better, I hope regular size is gonna be alright John." she whispered against his ear.

"It will be fine." he said as she settled herself on top of him again.

"Are you sure? You feel-" she paused as she ground into him, making him moan again, completely forgetting about the box. "-much bigger than average."

"Joss," his hands grasped her hips desperately trying to stop her. He hadn't had sex in over a year. He wouldn't be able to handle this too long. Joss paused in slowly driving him insane and peered down at him solemnly.

"Roll onto your side, John."

"Why?" he didn't want to do that. She would stare at his mangled back, surely that would be a turn off, seeing his scars.

"Please." John didn't want too, he tensed, but did as she asked. He slowly rolled onto his side, laying heavily on his good leg careful of his injured leg, he felt her lay behind him. "Oh John," she rubbed her cheek against his back. He closed his eyes as she pressed her lips to his healing flesh.

"Stop," he whispered as her tongue traced a jagged scar on his back. He felt overwhelmed; he didn't want her touching something so disgusting. "Please Joss, stop." she pressed one last kiss to his back before pulling on his arm to roll him onto his back so they were face to face.

"John, they are a part of you."

"They're ugly."

She leaned forward and kissed his lips; her hand skimmed down his side before it slid beneath the elastic of his underwear. John moaned as he moved closer to her, she sighed into the kiss. John wanted to get her beneath him. John rolled her over, he sucked in a ragged gasp of pain as his injured leg hit the mattress awkwardly shooting hot waves of pain up his leg.

"John, you okay?" he nodded but she pushed him onto his back before she slid back on top of him. "Your leg is hurt, sorry but you're gonna be on your back for a while." she smirked down at him. "I personally enjoy getting the top."

"I bet you do." He lifted his head and caught her mouth with his while his hands palmed her breasts. Joss moaned happily. She pushed out of the kiss to pull her pajama top up and off her. John sucked in a breath seeing her naked breasts. He palmed her full breasts again, loving the sound she made. John pinched, rolled, and plucked hard at her nipples which made her gasp and roll her hips against his. John released one, sitting up quickly ignoring the small pain in his leg, and settled his mouth on her. Joss wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him up as he licked, sucked, lavished her one breast and nipple with loving attention. She leaned forward pressing him back onto the bed. Joss pulled her body from his before she slid from on top of him to rid them both of the rest of their clothing. John stared at her, he couldn't help it. She was so beautiful every inch of her. His eyes got stuck between her legs, his hand stroking her thigh, wanting to touch her and pleasure her.

"I get to see this beautiful guy again," she scooted even closer to him, wrapping her small hand around him, which made his hips involuntarily jerk up which made her smile lightly.

"You stared enough. I thought you had memorized what I looked like naked."

"Oh I did, I replayed that delicious memory nightly, making me very deliciously wet." He beat the mattress beside him with his other hand.

"Joss, don't say things like that to a man who hasn't had sex in a very long time," John said half humorously and half not. John was having a hard time thinking, which wasn't usual for him.

"John can I tell you a secret?" she whispered. Her hand was stroking his length, making it impossible to concentrate on what she was saying. He nodded his head. She leaned over him, her mouth near his ear. "I would get so hot thinking of you in this way John, I pleasured myself." he shuddered before grabbing her, kissing her desperately. His hands roaming her body, Joss sighed but her hand never stopped stroking him. He reached down and removed her hand from him. He was fully erect, more than ready for her, but he wanted to taste her first.

"Come here," he whispered ignoring his body's needs once again. She furrowed her brows as he shimmied down a little, laying flat on his back.

"What?" She said confused.

He pulled her up to him. "Get on your knees, Joss, and spread your legs." he tugged until she figured out what he meant. Joss sighed as she slowly did as he requested. She slid the backs of her legs under his shoulders, her hands grasping the headboard her eyes cast downwards where he laid between her legs. He reached up, grabbing a hold of her hips, and he leaned his head up and licked. Joss's hips moved closer then before, she must have been afraid she was going to smother him or something. Her moan was music to his ears, he held her hips while he explored her entire sex. Joss was leaning against the headboard, moaning, her one hand grabbing her breast. John eyed her as he slid his tongue into her slick entrance and she gasped as he just slid the tip of his tongue in and out mimicking what he wanted to do with his cock. He dragged his tongue against her labia lazy like while she was made sexy moans, he felt her thighs tensing. John moved to kiss her clitoris once before he opened his mouth and sucked on her clit lightly. Joss cried his name softly, her hand that had been strumming her nipple came down into his hair, he knew she was close. John held her hips tightly and sucked hard while gently flicking her with his tongue. Joss went off, her hips surged forward, her body convulsed on top of his, and he tried to hold her, struggling to breathe through his nostrils. When finally her orgasm seemed to fade, the whimpers from her ceased, he gave one last sweet kiss to her.

"God damn John, you're amazing at that." she said unevenly as she removed herself from his hold. Joss gently rubbed at his face, cleansing him a little from her, then she kissed him, moaning softly. Her hand was trying to snake down to grab him, but he stopped its descent. He broke the kiss.

"Joss, get a condom, I can't have you touching me."

"Someone that close?" She smiled knowingly.

"Yes," he said tensely. She seemed to realize he wasn't kidding and nodded. She grabbed a condom and tore into it. He reached for it, which she held out of his reach. John tried again to grab it, which she seemed to find highly amusing as she played keep away with the condom.

"I get to put it on."

"I can't have you touching me." he responded again.

"I get to put it on, you'll just have to think of something to keep you from cumming," she crooned as she began rolling the condom onto him painstakingly slowly.

"Oh fuck, Joss hurry up." he never was this mindless about getting inside a woman as he was right now. She chuckled.

"What a naughty mouth you have in more ways than one, John." When she finally had the damn condom on him he grabbed her hips yanking her back onto him. She was on her hands and knees not lowering herself onto him yet. "Next time I get to have some fun with this guy." She reached back to touch him. "But I can see how close you are, so I'll be a good girl and give you what you want." she smiled her lip splitting again, blood slightly oozed out. John was about to comment when all his breath stopped as she impaled herself on him, without warning and without reservation. He moaned as she sat on top of him not moving. She was so tight, he felt like he was stretching her, touching every part of her, and his insides twisted with need. Joss's moans were soft as she adjusted to his size.

"I have got to be put back on the pill," she shuddered as she slowly raised up and lowered back onto him. "You feel amazing, but the condom is in the way." she gasped as she gently began riding him. John moaned, his hands on her hips which she pushed away. So instead he reached up to grasp her breasts, but she grabbed his hands took them down and held them to the bed. John groaned as she sped up. Her mouth on his, while she dragged in ragged gasps of breath, and he lifted his hips to meet her downward thrusts. Joss pulled out of the kiss, sitting up, to fling her head back, her movements were getting frenzied, more hurried and her breasts making soft plopping noises as she did so; his hands on her hips pulling her down onto him harder.

"I love you, John," she moaned. John gasped trying to fight the need to cum. She wasn't making it easy as she climaxed wildly around him, his name was cried from her, she contracted around him violently. Her spasms rippled against his cock, which kick started his own orgasm he had been trying to ward off. John groaned grabbing hard at her hips, trying to remain quiet as his own orgasm coursed through his body, after a few minutes John limply collapsed back onto the bed, breathing hard and stared up at the ceiling when Joss slumped against him. She was soft weight on top of him as she breathed rapidly, laying her sweaty forehead against his. "Wow," she sighed contentedly.

"You're amazing Joss," he breathed into her ear.

"Me, look whose talking! I think I was just transported to another realm because that was out of this world." She moaned with a soft laugh, still not moving from on top of him or removing him from inside her.

"You just want to be on top all the time," he whispered and she smiled against his skin.

"Even my bones feels sated John. I can't move," she sighed which he smiled. He yawned slightly.

"Neither can I."

"Yeah, because I'm squishing you." She moaned reluctantly pushing herself off of him. She eyed him. "God, John." She snuggled next to him.

"What?" he asked lightly as he gently traced his fingers up and down her arm.

"Is there anything you aren't extraordinary at? You're an amazing shot, you're an amazing cook, you kiss like nobody's business, you are downright wicked at oral sex, and sex with you just might have split me in half." He smiled as he sat up. He held out to her the forgotten box of condoms that had laid next to them. She gladly took it, he reached over for his crutch before climbing off the bed.

"I could ask you the same thing Joss; but to answer your question, I'm terrible at jigsaw puzzles." She snorted with laughter. "It's true, and I'll be right back." He smiled as he used his crutch to help him get to his bathroom so he could dispose of the used condom and clean up a little. He was in there for only a minute or so before she followed him taunting him with her beautiful naked body. She reached up to kiss him before pushing back.

"I have to get back onto the couch, can't have my teenage son figuring out I'm sleeping with you. We'll be married off if he finds that out." she chuckled.

"He seems to want something to happen with us."

"I know, which is why I think its best we keep what's going on between us to just ourselves. I don't want Taylor getting his hopes up when things might not work out for us." John nodded his head in agreement.

"I agree, I don't want to hurt Taylor or you."

"You won't." she kissed his chest before reluctantly pulling from him. "I guess I'll go get dressed again, go lay all by my lonesome on that lumpy couch." she sighed dejectedly. He watched her as she went back out of the bathroom, he wished for her to sleep with him all night but it wasn't possible. At least not yet, not until they figured some things out, and that wouldn't be for a while.

* * *

Author's note: Okay so, smut YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, poor John and Joss both so damaged but that's why I adore them so much. Broken characters just make me SQUEE, then two damaged characters slowly falling in love makes me into a puddle of goo on the floor. Next chapter has our team coming up with the absolute WORST plan ever to take down the bad guys, Leon makes an appearance, and some fluff filled moments and some slightly angstier moments all rolled into one chapter :D

Plus I have a surprise for all those people that have been impatiently waiting for Precious Moments...I will be posting the first chapter today :D I'll probably being doing another chapter of Time Lapse tomorrow either really early in the morning before work, or late in the afternoon after work. There's only a few chapters left of Time Lapse I believe there's about 5 more. Anyways thanks as always for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed the smuttiliciousness(I love making up new words lol) of this chapter.


	22. Chapter 21

"How did you make out last night?" Joss blinked, eyeing Shaw as they walked together to meet up with Finch and Fusco at a small diner for brunch. Joss had called Leon Tao to go sit with John again, which had started an argument between them. She smiled thinking up glorious ways of getting back on John's good side. Joss pulled herself from the happy thoughts and back onto what Shaw said.

"What do you mean?" she asked Shaw who had a devilish smile on her face.

"You have a healthy glow of a woman well fucked, detective," Shaw whispered.

"Oh my god, you were listening!"

"Not to the good stuff."

"Boundaries. I have to set boundaries for you people!" Joss felt outraged but yet she shouldn't be surprised. John had mentioned listening in on her conversations with Cal, she now wondered if it was jealousy that made him do it. She'd have to ask him about it at a later time, she shot a look at Shaw who snickered.

"Hey I told you before, I was all for you both relieving some steam, besides I wasn't listening in for that. Finch and I wanted to make sure you and John were safe."

"Finch was listening too." Joss refused to blush. She sighed, thinking about what the woman said. "Thanks, I think," she grumbled.

"We tuned out," she assured. "The last thing we heard was John insisting he wasn't adorable, when we heard an audible sound of a door shutting we knew you guys were in the bedroom so we tuned off quickly. We didn't need to hear you two thumping and banging one another." Shaw had a small smile on her face, Joss didn't know why, but she shared it with the woman.

"Thank god for small wonders," she griped. Maybe their sexcapades weren't listened in on, but their personal conversation had been. Joss felt inexplicably protective of John, she felt her anger over them listening starting up. John had let his guard down with her and they had listened in on it. Shaw seemed to sense the anger radiating from her.

"If you are worried we heard something you didn't want us to, we tuned in to hear John say about not wanting to have sex in the living room because of your kid. That was our first inclination you two were getting hot and heavy." Joss looked at Shaw.

"So you have no idea what we talked about before that?"

"No, as I said we only tuned in to make sure you two were safe." She felt better knowing their personal conversation was just that, personal. She would have to remember that Finch and Shaw were going to tune in on them regularly until John was safe again. They entered the diner seeing Finch and Fusco already awaiting them in a corner booth. Shaw slid down next to Finch, Carter slid in next to Fusco.

"Nice of you two to finally join us. What-you two chatty Kathys talking about boys?" Fusco griped.

"One in particular," Shaw grinned.

"You stood Einstein and me up to talk about the crabby commando? Can this day get any worse?"

"Hey, you started it, Fusco." Joss rolled her eyes as Shaw was having fun at Fusco's disgust.

"Yeah, well you guys didn't have to deal with an angry former CIA agent for leaving him with Leon again. Or deal with Leon for that matter."

"God, those pickup lines of his were terrible," Shaw snickered. "Remember the one about your legs being tired, Carter?" Joss groaned.

"Oh god, yes," she rolled her eyes, remembering Leon asking her if her legs were tired from running through his mind. She saw mischief in John's eyes, she had an idea he was behind the terrible one liners, then she had to endure Leon asking her out multiple times in the matter of minutes. She finally had to shut the door in his face, to give him the clear cut answer that NO, she didn't want to go out with him. "So what's going on, why did we need to meet here?"

"We need to discuss a plan, a plan where Mr. Reese is not privy to overhear _all_ of it."

"Finch, you don't think John should know about the plan?"

"Not all of it, but he does play a part, a part I'm sure you won't be happy with." She nodded absently. "Later today, detective, Ms. Shaw and I are meeting with Elias."

"Elias, your plan involves him?" He was right, she didn't like it so far, surely whenever John's part came up she'd downright hate it.

"Yes."

"I don't think it's a good idea, hinging a plan on a guy that could backstab us at any moment."

"Neither do I, but it's the best one we could come up with."

"Let me here all of it."

"Elias is going to set up a meeting with Cunningham; he's going to tell him he knows where Mr. Reese is."

"WHAT!" her shock evident and anger pooling in her belly; there was no way in hell she was allowing anyone to put John at risk. Finch reached out and touched her hand gently.

"Jocelyn, relax. He won't be in any danger because you and Ms. Shaw will be with him.

"I don't care if the damn military is there with him; I don't want either you or John anywhere near these guys."

"You know, detective we need to catch these men, we need to do this by giving them what they want."

"But its you and John."

"I know. And we'll be safe."

She shook her head. "Finch-"

"I promise, detective, everyone of us will be safe. We need to, as Lionel accurately said, we need to divide and conquer." She shot a blazing look at her friend, who had the graciousness to appear sheepish. Joss forced her eyes back onto Finch. "Elias is then going to give him information on Suzanne and my whereabouts. Detective Fusco and some of Elias's men will be there with me."

"No, its not happening, Finch." She shook her head.

"Detective, using me as bait is the best idea. I already had this same argument over and over again with Ms. Shaw and Detective Fusco until they finally agreed." her eyes slid to Shaw whom still looked unhappy, then to her partner.

"No! I don't care if it's a good idea or not, Finch, I'm not putting your life at risk."

"Detective..."

"Look, I know we had our issues in the past, but that's over and done with. I care a lot about you, you're my friend and I'll be damned if I'm going to hand you over to the men that want to harm you!"

"I appreciate your concern detective, but..."

She shook her head, not wanting to hear it. "NO FINCH, you listen to me! John nearly died protecting you from them; I'm not letting you anywhere near them," she spoke over Finch. She saw the look in his blue eyes, seeing the sadness in them. She didn't mean to remind him of John's torture over him, but she couldn't help it. She needed Finch to stay as far away from these men as possible.

"Jocelyn, they won't kill me. If Greer is looking for me and helping Cunningham, neither one will want me dead right away. If we have some of Cunningham's men looking for John, he won't be at full strength when he comes for me."

"This isn't going to work Finch, there has to be another way."

"I'm all ears, Jocelyn." She licked her lips not coming up with anything. She hadn't been able to for the past day and a half. "Mr. Reese, Ms. Shaw, and you are excellent shots. Ms. Shaw already knows what to do when they have the men coming for Mr. Reese."

Joss eyed Shaw. "We take them down systematically, then we call the cops and they show up as our cavalry. It will work in theory, but John will be pissed when he finds out the second part of the plan, the part where Harold is bait."

"If we are doing this," Joss paused licking her lips, a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Fusco's with me and John, Shaw you should be with Harold."

"No, Mr. Reese is vulnerable-" She held up her hand as Finch broke in.

"So are you Finch. Fusco and I will be there for John, Shaw needs to be by your side, especially if your backup is Elias's men."

"Alright, detective," he answered rather reluctantly.

"When's the plan going down?"

"Tomorrow. We need to get Taylor to your mother's house." She nodded her head.

"We need extra clips, more guns, and bulletproof vests, these guys will be coming packing lots of heat." Joss sighed ignoring the tremble in her.

"Yes, I'll raid Mr. Reese's apartment for extra guns and clips for you, John, and Lionel." Joss nodded hating that they were backed into a corner, that they needed to use the two men that she cared for as bait.

"Does John have gas masks, Finch?" Shaw asked thoughtfully.

"What? Why?"

"Because they might try to throw tear gas in the apartment. If Fusco, Carter, and Reese are protected from that, they'll be even more safe."

"I'll make sure to get some for them."

"And us too..." They spent the rest of the time eating and finishing discussing their horrible plan before she and Fusco left for the precinct. They remained silent as they drove until finally she broke it.

"I don't believe this is what it's come to," she sighed as Fusco drove.

"What do you mean, Carter?"

"This Cunningham, these men that took John looking for Finch, I figured we'd find them, make them pay for what they did, and our friends would be safe from harm. Now here we are, putting them in the front line to lure these people out."

"Carter, you know how glasses and wonder boy work, this is what they want."

"But its not how it should be going."

"Carter, you can't stop them from being who they are."

"I know what John and Harold are."

"Are you sure? It seems like you are starting to question it. Could it be that its because you love wonder boy, you don't want him on the front line because its him?"

"Partly, but its more than that Fusco. We have to put people's lives on the line to save them. It's a bad plan, but yet I don't see any other way for this to work."

"Listen Carter, John and Harold will be fine."

"How do you know?" she asked as she eyed his profile as they drove. "How do you know that? How do you know that Cunningham won't get a hold of Finch, won't kill him the moment he sees him? John won't recover if something happens to Harold."

"More like _you_ won't recover if something happens to wonder boy."

"Excuse me?" Where the hell did he get that from? This wasn't about her, it was about John and Harold not taking it well if something happens to the other.

"Carter, listen you've been through a lot, you lost a lot, its okay to be worried about losing him too."

"That's not what this is about," she denied, trying to convince Fusco's and maybe herself too.

"It's not?"

"No, Fusco you are so far off," Joss scoffed; in actuality Fusco was spot on. She was worried about losing John, she didn't think she could handle it if she lost him too. It had been hell on her when he went missing, then she got him back. Sure he was a little worse for wear, but he was alive. Joss couldn't think of what would happen if John was hurt again or worse, killed tomorrow.

"Carter, you lost a lot in your life. You lost your husband, Beecher, your friend Szymanski. Hell, you looked half dead when John was going to go off to the rooftop with the bomb strapped on him. Carter, its okay to be selfish a little, hell I encourage it, because you are too selfless. You're my partner, but more importantly, you're my friend. You've been through a lot, be selfish with your feelings for once, you won't be looked at as weak or something. Tell him how you feel." She sighed, Fusco didn't know she already had. It was glorious last night. The lovemaking, she couldn't call what they did 'sex'-because it was so much more than that. Joss had wanted him again and again, but for fear of the unknown, and not wanting her son to get the wrong impression she had gone back to the couch. They loved one another, but they both needed to take things a step at a time. They both needed to go slowly, since they both had been hurt by love and betrayal in their lives. "Or have you already have?" she shot Fusco a look.

"Fusco!"

"Say no more, I don't want to know the particulars of you and wonder boy." He shivered which caused her to smile slightly. "Just think about what I said, Carter. It won't make you look weak in his eyes if you tell him to make sure he doesn't do anything wonder boy-ish that ends up with him getting shot up, alright?"

"Thanks, Lionel." She knew he was just looking out for her. "You're a wonderful friend," she said slowly before looking out of the window at the passing scenery. "Do you think you could cover for me at work today?"

"Sure thing, Carter."

"Thanks, and Lionel…" she turned her head to look at him as he pulled up to the curb near the precinct. He turned his head to gaze at her, and she smiled. "Call me Joss."

* * *

"Mr. Badass, you're friends with this guy?" Taylor whispered to him as he made his way to the kitchen. Taylor had come home from school and still no sign of Joss, or anyone else for that matter. John remembered their argument before Leon had arrived, but after Taylor left. He had been so aroused from their argument that John had been ready to grab her, pin her to the couch, and make love to her when knocking erupted and Leon's annoying voice filtered through the door.

Leon had met Taylor back when Joss had stuck him with Leon previously, and Taylor thought he was odd but said nothing. Leon began gambling against the young teen for the past two hours while they played some video game together. John had just watched the clock menacingly wondering when Joss would get back so he could stop being babysat by this man and her son. Taylor was raking in the money from Leon, as the man continuously was outplayed and outsmarted. Taylor Carter was a force to be reckoned with; John had found his mood getting better when Leon was losing all his money.

"No, he's a guy that your mother stuck me with, which by the way I'm never forgiving her for. She stuck me with him for the last time," he griped as he pulled out a bottled water for himself. Taylor laughed.

"Yeah, right John." He glowered at her son, which made the kid's lips twitch even more. "Sure, okay I believe you. You won't forgive my mom."

"I _can_ stay mad at your mother."

"Sure you can," he agreed sounding like he didn't believe him.

"I can."

"I hear you, Mr. Badass." Taylor held up his hands. John sighed, deciding that the kid wasn't going to believe him no matter what he said. They turned and made their way back into the living room where Leon was sitting. John put his crutch down, before sinking onto the couch with Taylor next to him. Leon pointed an accusing finger at Taylor.

"You are a thief. Who knew your hot mother, who happens to be a detective I might add, has a son that's a thief!?" Taylor laughed at Leon.

"A thief? You're the one betting against an underage kid," Taylor pointed out. "Besides you handed me your money."

"I did not! John, tell him he's a cheater." Taylor laughed.

John rolled his eyes at Leon. "Leon, you lost fair and square; I guess it teaches you to stop betting against him."

"No, how can I win my money back?" John sighed. Leon never learned anything. He couldn't beat the kid at any game, so how was he going to win now?

"You don't have to win your money back," Taylor stated, handing the three hundred dollars back to Leon. "My mom will kill me if she learned I was gambling." Leon snatched his money from the kid before he changed his mind.

"I guess this teaches you a lesson then, Taylor," Leon said. Taylor eyed John with a smile on his lips before looking back at Leon.

"That you're easy to win?"

"No!" Leon looked insulted by that. "That gambling is wrong." Taylor nodded his head.

"Right,"

"I need to head out, John," Leon motioned to the door after a quick glance at his watch.

"Stay out of trouble, Leon; we are too injured to come save your ass."

"I wouldn't dream of getting in trouble again, until you're recovered of course. Besides this is a lucrative deal for me, no way it can go wrong."

"LEON!" John growled as the man stood up and the door to the apartment opened. Leon smiled warmly at Joss and John couldn't help but smirk at the roll of her eyes at him.

"Jocelyn, my heart just skipped a beat! Now will you agree to go out with me?" Leon forgot all about this lucrative deal he was leaving for. John sat back with a wide grin on his face as Joss glared at Leon.

"No."

"Does that 'no' mean yes?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you like me, detective." she grabbed his elbow pushing him to the door before opening it. "I'll have you know I do like kinky-" she slammed the door shut in his face. "Okay I can see you are still working up the courage to consider my proposal. Call me, we can talk all about me when we go out." Leon called through the door. Joss turned to eye John and Taylor.

"What did you tell him?"

"Who me?" John asked innocently.

"Yes you, and don't even think I buy that innocent look." Taylor eyed him.

"I didn't tell him anything, Joss."

"Uh-huh." she crossed her arms across her chest, moved in front of him and was tapping her foot on the floor. "You told him I liked him, didn't you?"

"No I didn't."

"Uh-huh, what did you tell him then?"

"I might have told him you like lame pickup lines."

"So is that why I had to suffer through the legs thing, the airplane taking off, and the stupid pickup line of how I cuffed his heart to mine?" she rolled her eyes.

He flashed a quick smile, almost gone before it appeared. "Oh come on, I thought that one was so bad it was good. '_You cuffed my heart to yours_,' it took me a while to think that terrible one up." Her eyes widened as she glared at him.

"You thought those one liners up for Leon!?" she scowled. "Now it makes sense why they were terrible, you have zero game with women, John."

"Hey, I'll have you know I have great pickup lines." Taylor watched them with an odd expression on his face.

"Oh sure, what-'date me or I'll kneecap you'?" she scoffed. "What else did you tell him?" she demanded.

"I said you enjoy men talking about themselves and boring conversation. I also told him to repeatedly ask you out."

"Well, you are going to tell him to stop, John."

"And break the guy's heart, nah-you have to tell him yourself." Joss narrowed her eyes at him which he just smiled at. Well, she was the one that stuck him with the man twice now!

"You guys like to bicker." Taylor spoke up as he stood up. "It's your favorite pastime isn't it? Well I have a study group to get to; you two have fun bickering some more at one another." Taylor said as he pulled on his jacket.

"Hold on honey, before you go I need you to pack some stuff."

"Why?"

"You're going to stay with grandma for a few days." Taylor's eyes grew serious, and John stared at Joss from behind. Something had to have happened for her to decide this. He would wait until her kid was out to ask exactly what it was.

"Why?"

"Things are escalating and I need to make sure you're safe, " she explained.

"What about you and John?"

"We'll be fine, I promise, baby, nothing is going to happen to us."

"You were already beaten up, mom." Taylor touched her bruised cheek. "I don't want anything else to happen to you..." John sighed, hearing the worry in the boy's voice. "... or to John." his eyes lifted, startled, as he eyed Taylor. "I know, Mr. Badass, you can take care of yourself, but you are injured and I don't want to lose you either."

"Taylor, nothing is going to happen to either John or me, I promise. But you need to be with grandma for at least tonight. When you can come back I'll let you know."

"Be safe, mom." He tugged her into his arms.

"I will, I love you, Taylor."

"I love you too, mom." She nodded before pushing out of his arms.

"Now go get some clothes and get to your study group. I already called grandma to tell her you were staying with her." He nodded before leaving to go get some clothes. It took about another ten minutes for her son to exit and Joss turned to look at him.

"What's going on, Joss?"

"Finch, Shaw, Fusco, and I came up with a plan."

"What is it?"

"A plan I hate, but a plan nonetheless." She said sitting beside him.

"What?"

"Finch and Shaw are speaking with Elias for help. We are going to have Elias tell them where you are at." John nodded, she didn't see an ounce of worry for himself. "Fusco and I will be here with you when the men come for you. We take them down, I'll call the police, we get backup that way." He nodded.

"Where's Shaw in this?"

"Shaw is going to be with Finch." He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because Finch believes that we need to divide and conquer."

"What does that mean?" His eyes grew stormy.

"It means that Elias will also be telling Cunningham, under Finch's orders, where he and Suzanne are at."

"No!" he immediately shook his head. She grabbed his hand.

"They didn't think you needed to know this part of the plan, but I knew you'd figure it out. I need your head in the game instead of thinking about what we weren't telling you, which is why I'm telling you now. It's going to happen, John; we are using both you and Finch as bait. I hate the very idea of this, it scares me and sickens me that we need to put your lives at risk to save them." She paused. "But Finch will be with Shaw and some men of Elias's as backup."

"No, its too risky."

"We have to do it, John. I hate it, you don't know how much I hate this. I don't want to do it. I tried to think of any sort of plan besides this, but nothing comes to mind. None that have a microscopic shot at working like this one does."

"If we send Finch in as bait, Fusco and Shaw will be with him along with Elias's men. We can handle ourselves, Joss, but I can't run the risk that Elias's men will flip and shoot Shaw in the back. If Fusco is there they have a better chance of coming out alive." Joss nodded her head.

"Okay, I'll let them know the change of plans. John, if we can divide these men up, they will not be full strength, plus if we can get Cunningham to show his face, and arrest him, this group will fold. Their leader will be in prison."

"You really think Shaw is going to let him live?"

"No," she answered honestly. "I don't think Shaw will let Cunningham live."

"You don't sound to upset by that."

"I'm not, he destroyed you, John; he wants to kill Harold and you for no other reason then revenge." She played with his hair at his nape. "Finch will be over in a few hours with more guns, clips, bulletproof vests, and gas masks." John nodded his eyes. "This is war, John, we are coming to the final battle."

"It's one we are going to win." John eyed her before he pulled her to him and kissed her. Joss sucked in a breath realizing that this might be their last night together. Joss, climbed into John's lap deepening the kiss, before pushing back slightly.

"Make love to me, John," she whispered into his ear. Their hands moved quickly as they struggled to rid themselves of their clothing, they needed to be with each other. Joss needed to feel John inside her, loving her, pleasuring her. Their mouths fused together as they worked just enough clothes off to be get at one another. John pushed her pants off, she worked his underwear down enough for John to spring out. Joss wrapped her hand around him getting a guttural groan from him. He worked her panties down her legs until she kicked them off, and she positioned herself above him. John unbuttoned her blouse to grab her breasts and she sunk down onto him. John's moan was hot, Joss felt him stretch her wide, and she couldn't get enough of him. Joss leaned into him, taking his mouth with hers, his hands cupping her breasts as she slowly moved on top of him. John broke the kiss.

"Joss wait," he moaned.

"No." she grabbed the back of the couch using it as leverage as she raised up and then slowly plunged John back into her. Joss picked up speed, his hands falling to her hips, pulling her down onto him harder, sending him as deep inside her as he could go. Whatever reason John had been asking her to stop for, he must have forgot it, as he moaned harshly. Her climax was almost there, she could feel John close too.

"Wait, Joss-stop, condom." His eyes opened as realization struck. Joss's body shuddered on top of him as her orgasm rocketed through her, Joss heard his words but couldn't understand their meaning as she contracted around John's cock tightly as she cried his name loudly taking his mouth with hers. Joss could feel John stiffening. He pushed his mouth from hers, and lifted her up and off of him. Joss still felt the aftershocks of her orgasm, her legs felt like wax, almost unable to keep her standing, and she was still unsure of what was happening. Then it dawned on her. She had forgotten the condom. John was trying to protect her, he had been so close to coming himself. She noticed the pre-cum on his tip. He trembled a little. "Get a condom," he moaned. She nodded hurrying into the bedroom grabbing one, silently hating herself for forgetting. He took it from her when she returned, she had shucked her clothing off while he rolled it on. He grabbed her, yanking her back down onto him, and she moaned as he filled her again. He wasn't so close to the edge anymore, so Joss slowly worked his shaft in and out of her at a steady pace finding herself working her way back to another orgasm.

John's hands bit into her slick hips as her body grew hotter as John was lifting up. John was the one thrusting doing all the work she realized as she sat on top of him as he worked himself inside her. Joss moaned harshly into his mouth as his fingers played with her clitoris as he stroked himself inside her. Joss felt John stiffening again, this time he let go. John broke the kiss as he came, shouting her name. Joss loved watching him, she trailed a hand between her legs as John had stopped touching her. She rubbed, clenched him tightly inside her, and heard his soft moan of her name which brought her to the edge of the abyss herself. John was still inside her, coming off his own high, and Joss came again moaning his name as she leaned against him, tremor after tremor of her second orgasm filled her. John moaned as her spasms milked his own earlier orgasm. Once both their orgasms faded they fell against the couch languid and sated.

"I'm sorry, John," she whispered as she collected her breath. She eyed him from her perch on top of him.

"For what?" he asked, breathing just as hard.

"For forgetting the condom, you were trying to protect me."

"It's not your fault, you were a little caught up in the moment." John sent her a smug look. She laughed.

"You scoundrel." she sighed, playing with his hair that was slightly damp with sweat. He laughed softly, rubbing her bare back. They stayed this way for a while before they both decided they needed a shower which they shared together, and waited for Finch to arrive with their supplies for their impending battle.

* * *

Author's note: back to back chapters with smut...WOOHOO! Well this smut was quick, and something for John to feel smug about ;P as if he wasn't mindless to be with her too! They are just mindless to everything but being together :D

next chapter, lets just say our team may or may not kick some serious ass, Finch gets a little ribbing, and Shaw has an outrageous(so outrageous it can only work in fiction lol) plan that on paper shouldn't work but actually does!

Thanks as always for reading, I'm hopped on this new fic I'm writing...well to be honest I have three fics I'm writing right now(adorestories know of one of them *wink wink*), then I got another oneshot to write thanks to Misery Loathes Company with her innocent review to Love Games asking if there was a prequel to Love Games. Now I need to write one, because I can't get rid of the little plot that's stabbing at my brain. I got another one that's strictly for this month alone since I can't get away with posting it after Halloween ends so I got to get my butt in gear in sending it to you Elaine lol, then a comedic romance story, and...well something else :D I guess lookout peeps because I have some definite Careese stories heading your way that will include smut...oh you guys already know that from me. Hmmmm, maybe I should write a story where I refrain from allowing Careese to have sex...NAH! CAREESE SMUT FTW!


	23. Chapter 22

"You okay?" Joss asked John who was sitting in his t-shirt and workout pants. They had gone over their plan over and over again. Last night when Finch had come by with the supplies, Finch and John had shared words. She had left them alone, going out for a walk around the complex to give them a chance at privacy. When she got back the tension between the two friends was intense, but it looked like both men had come to the conclusion that this was for the best. Finch had agreed to allow Fusco to accompany him, Shaw, and Elias's men to take down Cunningham. As Elias saw it, getting rid of everyone left him the control he was after himself. She had no doubt that their temporary truce was going to end the moment Cunningham was gone. But they'd deal with that when the time came. For now Elias and his men were their allies.

She and John had made love several times last night, neither wanting to go to sleep, but sleep finally beckoned them. Now here they were waiting for when they were given the cue that Elias had given them up. They had military issued bulletproof vests, even more potent then standard ones issued to police. They had them hidden beneath their clothing. They had everything at their disposal, waiting for them to use, now all they had to do was sit and wait for the phone call.

"I'm fine."

"You're worried about Finch, Shaw, and Fusco aren't you?"

"Yes."

"They'll be fine."

"I hope so."

"They will be, have a little faith." He turned to eye her and she saw fear in his vivid blue eyes. Not for him, not for her, but for them. He was afraid something was going to happen to them.

"Joss if this goes south, I want you to duck down, wait for the police to show up."

"No."

"Yes."

"I said no," she repeated. "I'm not doing that," she refused. She couldn't imagine being without this man. She kissed him passionately. He sighed into the kiss, but they both parted when his cell rang. He picked it up, seeing the text.

"It's showtime," he whispered. She licked her lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Joss; now lets kick these bastards asses," he spoke as he checked his gun to make sure he had a full clip. He had an assault rifle, as did she; Finch had brought the heavy artillery for them. He pulled his gas mask on top of his forehead while she did the same, waiting for the right moment to put it fully on. She grabbed his cheeks and kissed him one last time.

"Lets do this, John." He grinned at her as he motioned for her to get down near the kitchen island. He stood near the window looking out, watching for cars, he was just hobbling around. He didn't want them to know he was still very hurt; she didn't exactly like the idea that he couldn't move around that well. But he wanted them to think he was nearly back at full strength or at the very least, give them the illusion he was. Though John looked healthier, he still looked not quite like he had before they grabbed him. But he was slowly getting there. However she was worried that his knee was going to suffer permanent damage if he put too much weight on it too soon. He hobbled near the hall bathroom where he had a clear line for the door, she hid by the kitchen island. Their idea was to do as Finch explained before. Divide and conquer. If they were both together all their guns would be aimed towards them. But if they were apart, separate shooting from opposite sides of the apartment, their attackers wouldn't know which direction to point at.

"Joss we don't know how many there will be of them," he said quietly. "You have extra magazines, right?"

"Five of them to be precise," she assured him, knowing he was just worried about her. They spent the next twenty minutes just waiting. Finch had emptied the apartment complex stating it was to be fumigated today, when they finally heard footsteps. Her heart began pounding as adrenaline pumped. This was it, they were going to get these bastards. She pulled her gas mask down as he did, his gun readying. The door was kicked in, she leveled her gun, waiting and she thanked god for Shaw when a tear gas grenade was thrown inside. It went off, the smoke billowed as men were rushing in gas masks in place on their faces. She began firing her assault rifle quickly. She heard bullets spraying; she could barely see as she shot at their legs. She could hear screams, she could hear someone shouting to stop going in there. The smoke cleared, just as another tear gas grenade was thrown inside. She screamed inside her gas mask as a man that was on the ground saw John and aimed his weapon towards him. She shot him in the back. They had about five men on the ground crying in agony because of gunshots to their knees and their legs, others lay not moving and silent. She had a minute of no action allowing her a chance to call for backup as per the plan. "Shots fired, I need backup." she stated knowing it was muffled, but hopefully the urgency in her tone resonated with the dispatcher. She dropped the phone having no more time to concentrate on calling for backup, her gun readying again.

"John Reese, you will be dead, I can guarantee it." She shuddered, recognizing that voice. It was Collins. She heard bullets being sprayed through the wall of the hall. John ducked down. Her heart was in her throat when he didn't move. Was he alright? She couldn't stay where she was, she had to get to him. She wasn't going to lose him, she ran to get to him just as John's head lifted up. Relief flooded her, he was alright. But she could see the error she just made, her need to make sure John was alright outweighed her professional judgment. She was caught because Collins entered with three men's guns all trained on her. "Put your guns down now or Joss here dies." she slowly lowered her rifle down. Collins' gun strayed to where John was slowly getting up. He left his gun on the floor, his eyes on her. Her eyes strayed to his hand as he began making signals to her. She nodded curtly. John lifted the gas mask off his face.

"Let her go, kill me but leave Joss alone."

"I can't do that Reese, because I want to fuck her so badly. How about I make you watch as I rape her, as she cries my name, that will be the last thing you ever hear Reese, and the last thing you'll ever see is me raping your detective." she prayed John wouldn't allow this man to goad him into doing something stupid; she already made one error that could cost them their lives.

Her eyes fell to John's hand as he made another signal to her. No way, he wanted her to drop down. The police would be here any minute, she already put in the call for backup. Collins seemed to not notice John's signals or he did but didn't know what they meant, or he didn't give a damn. He gave her the signal to duck again; against her better judgment she did as he wanted. She dropped just as John lunged at Collins. She screamed in rage as the men that were looking at her aimed their weapons at the man she loved. She was going to make them pay for leaving her an opening. She picked up her gun and began firing at them just as they fired theirs at John. She downed the last two, flinging the gas mask off, her eyes flickering to where John was. He held Collins against him as the man had three bullet wounds to his back. He shoved Collins to the ground. Her eyes were searching John's body looking for any sort of wound, but didn't see any.

She flung her arms around him, shuddering in his arms. He was alright, he was truly alright. She felt him holding her with only one arm, she peered beside her seeing John had Collins' gun pointed down at him, at the back of his head as he writhed in agony.

"No," she whispered, kissing his cheek, seeing the anguish there. He wanted to kill this man. "He's not worth it John, please don't kill him," she said quietly as she kissed his cheek.

"Only because you wish it, or he would be dead." he tugged her completely in his arms, just as the police arrived, their guns drawn before they eyed them slowly lowering them.

"What the hell happened here?"

She turned from John. "We were attacked," she explained and began helping Bates, Freeman, and the other officers in cuffing the men as paramedics arrived.

* * *

"How do you think things are going for Mr. Reese and Jocelyn?" Finch asked quietly, feeling a heavy weight on him. He wouldn't be able to learn what happened to his friends until this was over. They were out in the middle of nowhere, having chosen this small little house for fear of an innocent bystander getting in the way of this personal vendetta against him.

"If I had to take a guess I say they're alright, Finch," Shaw stated.

"How can you know?"

"Because I know Reese's and Carter's skills; they're both good with weapons. I hope they can get their asses down here before Cunningham and his merry men do," Shaw said. "Cunningham comes in, I'm shooting him in the head," she guaranteed. Anthony Marconi, and two other of Elias's men stood beside Shaw and Fusco.

"One of our guys is in position to snipe," Scarface spoke up.

"Good, since we have a backdoor and front door to watch, we need all the help we can get, Scarface." Fusco snarked as he was positioned with one of Elias's men to watch the backdoor, while Shaw and Marconi were facing forward. Finch felt ill when his phone vibrated with a text. He saw it was time.

"Elias just texted me, they're on their way."

"We got a problem," Marconi announced.

"What?"

"They took Elias with them."

"Why?"

"They must know it's a setup or they suspect it is," Shaw snapped. Finch shared an intense look with her before his phone rang. He forced the trembling to cease. He saw it was John. Profound relief filled him. He immediately answered it.

"John, are you and Jocelyn alright?"

"Fine, we're on our way, we gave the cops the evidence against Cunningham and his men that killed Terney and the others."

"Cunningham is on his way, Mr. Reese. He took Elias with him."

"He must be worried it's a setup." he heard Mr. Reese order Jocelyn to speed up. "We'll be there soon, keep your head low."

"Yes, Mr. Reese." He hung up with his friend, worried about everyone including himself as they waited for this man to come.

"We've got company." Fusco announced as he watched out the back window.

"How many?"

"Loads, ready to earn your name Lady Rambo?" Shaw rushed over, pointing for Elias's other man to take his position at the front door.

"That guy is Greer," she pointed for Fusco. Finch felt sick inside, this was it, the moment of truth.

"We got a lot of people in the front," Marconi called out. "They're getting out of their cars but not coming anywhere near the damned home. They know it's a setup."

"HAROLD!" he closed his eyes when he heard the man, the man he never wished to hear again speak on a megaphone. "You think I'm stupid, I'm not going in there. You and my whore of an ex-wife better come out now or I'll kill Elias."

Marconi turned to look at them, holding the sniper off. "What do you want to do? Our sniper is in position, but once he fires, Elias and anyone else that's outside will be dead."

"I have an idea," Shaw said quickly, walking up to Finch. "Strip."

"Excuse me."

"You heard me, strip Harold."

"What? Why?"

"Because I need your suit. Fusco, search this home, see if you can find some clothes for Finch to wear, and try to find me a hat," she demanded as she yanked her long hair into a tight bun. She yanked her shirt over her head, unbuttoned her slacks. "I'm only a little shorter than you, but we have similar builds," she spoke quickly as she stood in her bra and panties, the men staring at her. Finch gazed into her eyes. "Hurry, Harold."

"Ms. Shaw, it's a suicide mission."

"Its one I'm willing to take for you, now strip." Fusco appeared by her side with a straw cowboy hat and blue jean overalls he found. She eyed the hat with disdain. "It's made of straw, Fusco."

"Hey, it's the only damned hat I could find in this godforsaken house okay. It must be inhabited by some cowboy wannabe. It's not like you need it to win some beauty competition." she nodded as Finch began undressing.

"Harold, you and my slut of a wife have two minutes to get out here before I kill Elias and throw in grenades to kill whoever else is with you." he stumbled as he pushed his pants down. Shaw took the pants and hurriedly pulled them on. He stood in his white undershirt, and blue boxers as he trembled, watching her yank on his clothing. She put the cowboy hat on while Fusco flung Finch the overalls.

"Ms. Shaw you'll never make it out of the door before they shoot you, they'll know it's not me by the hat," Finch tried to warn as he yanked on the blue jean overalls. He snapped the suspenders over his shoulders and she couldn't help but chuckle at a time like this. He looked ridiculous.

"Have a little faith, farmer Finch, this guy hasn't seen you in a long time. How would he know you don't wear hats?" she grinned as she tucked her gun in the loose pants. She took the gas mask placed it on her face, obscuring her facial features, hopefully long enough to take down as many men as she could before she was fired upon. "Finch, tell him you'll come out first, then, when in good faith Elias is let go, Suzanne will come out." she told him before patting his arm as she walked up to the door. "Shout it Finch, I'll stand near the window so he can see me, thinking it's you."

"I'M COMING OUT NIALL FIRST, WHEN YOU LET GO OF MR. ELIAS, THAT'S WHEN SUZANNE WILL COME OUT, ALRIGHT NIALL?" he struggled to keep the tremor from his voice.

"Alright! Just get your ass out here, Harold! You are going to pay for destroying my life!"

"He's not going to listen, he's ruthless."

"You're panicking, Finch, remain calm."

"Ms. Shaw..."

"If I die, I died for a good reason, to protect you. Now get back and hide, no one is going to hurt you, I promise." She turned to look at Marconi. "The moment Elias is clear, have your sniper take out Cunningham, no missing and it has to be a kill shot." He nodded. She opened the door keeping her head down, with the ugly straw cowboy hat on and walked out mimicking his limp. Finch didn't hear gunshots going off yet, but surely it would only be in a matter of time, they wouldn't be fooled for long. He couldn't help but worry that Ms. Shaw was going to die to save his life, for that, he wasn't ever going to forgive himself.

Shaw knew this wasn't going to work for very long, but hopefully long enough to get Elias out of the way. She eyed the man with the smart suit with several men beside him with guns trained on her, Elias held to him. He was on the short side, thin, slightly muscular, not bad looking, but his eyes were black as coals. This must be Cunningham. Elias immediately knew it wasn't Harold but thankfully he didn't say anything. Shaw played up the limp. Cunningham looked confused, and Elias gave her the opening she needed when he elbowed the man that was holding him, dropping to the ground before any of Cunningham's men knew what happened. In a matter of seconds of Elias hitting the ground she saw the laser on Cunningham's forehead.

She heard the sound of the silencer because her ears were trained for it; Cunningham didn't stand a chance. Blood spewed out of a wound from his forehead and from the back of his head, spraying the men behind him, and the SUV with his blood as he fell to his knees. She opened the suit jacket, lifted her gun and started shooting. She took down a man beside Cunningham as the dead man landed face first. His men screamed as they realized their leader was gunned down. She ducked down when the men began firing at her. A bullet grazed her but she ignored the pain; a door burst open and more gunfire happened behind her. The men in front of them hid behind their cars when she heard her and Elias's names being screamed. She got up, quickly helping Elias to his feet as they retreated back to the small house. Bullets ricocheted around them, she ran aiming her gun behind her trying to make sure they made it to the safe house before either one of them was shot. But with the help of Elias's men firing upon Cunningham's men, keeping them hidden behind the SUVs, it gave them a chance to make it into the safe house mostly in one piece.

"We got big problems!" Fusco shouted as she entered.

"Ms. Shaw, you're bleeding," Finch said worriedly as a blood stain was showing now on the sleeve of his brown suit jacket, He watched as Elias made his way further inside the home behind her. No wonder Marconi and the other man were firing as fast as they could, they were trying to save their employer.

"It's okay, I'm fine, Finch, it's a graze. Cunningham is dead." She threw the hat and gas mask off her face.

"He is?"

"Yes, we're going to get out of this, I promise." she stated running to help Fusco as he was firing his weapon off at a rapid rate.

"Harold," Elias breathed heavily. "Good, you're safe." He smiled before taking a moment to glance at his clothing. "New fashion choice I see?" he shot Mr. Elias a look to not mention his clothing again which seemed to amuse the man that was their enemy but yet their ally in this.

"Glad you're safe too, Mr. Elias." Fusco and Shaw were shooting from their perches near the backdoor, while Marconi and Elias's men had the front.

"We are outnumbered. Where's John?"

"He's on his way with Jocelyn."

"I hope they get here quick, if anyone can take these men down outnumbered is John." Finch heard Elias's praise. For a man that blamed John for placing him in prison he sure still held a soft place for him.

Shaw saw a speeding sedan heading their way off in the distance, it looked like Carter's car. She could swear she could see the backseat window open with a large gun pointed out of it, aimed directly at the cars parked with Greer and his band of merry men all of which had their backs to the speeding sedan.

"Oh shit!" Fusco breathed seeing the same thing as she did. "Get down, Shaw." he cried and she nodded as they both ducked down, afraid the window would break in their faces from the force of the blast. She heard the sound of the gun Reese had fired. It was a grenade launcher. She knew of his marksmanship. The whole small home shook when John hit his mark.

"What was that?" Finch asked in fear.

"That would be our boy Reese!" she grinned as both she and Fusco popped back up, seeing two cars in flames; they aimed their guns, kneecapping the men that were getting back up from the ground. Shaw kneecapped Greer when he got to his feet after the sonic boom he just encountered. "No, no, no he's getting away!" she screamed when she saw two men helping Greer to a car in the back parked further away unscathed from the grenade. She fired her weapon aiming for their legs, but they got in the car before she could stop them. She tried to shoot out the tire as they sped off, but her aim had to be directed to the men still firing at them. She kneecapped a few while Fusco took down the rest. She and Fusco smiled at one another in acknowledgment.

"Lets go help them," Fusco motioned and she followed. She ducked down beside Marconi's knees in the open front door, aiming her weapon when she saw Carter and Reese firing their own weapons as they hid behind her car. Carter took down two men in rapid succession, she was a beast with a pistol in her hand. Her quiet admiration for the small woman Reese loved raised another level. Anyone that loved weapons as much as Reese and her was good in her book. Marconi, Fusco, herself, and a fellow Elias employee fired from the front of Cunningham's men while Carter and Reese were firing from their side.

"DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND THROW YOUR HANDS UP NOW!" Carter demanded. What was left of Cunningham's men that weren't screaming and writhing on the ground in agony didn't know where to look. They slowly dropped their weapons, holding their hands up in surrender.

"NO SUDDEN MOVES!" Fusco commanded, making his way out to go help his partner. Shaw turned to look at Elias and his men waiting for the other shoe to drop. But Marconi, the other man, and Elias stood together, their weapons lowered allowing Finch to move towards her.

"Mr. Elias, you and your men should leave, the police are headed this way." Finch stated, shaking tremendously. She felt bad for the guy, he clearly wasn't good under these sort of circumstances. Elias nodded.

"It was a pleasure helping you Harold, I suggest you go back to your original look, the overalls are not your type of clothing. But I hope to see you soon for a future chess match."

"I'm sure," he nodded. Marconi, Elias, and the other man all backpedaled to the backdoor exit. Finch and she both looked up when they saw Reese fill the doorframe. He looked pale, exhausted, but not a scratch on him.

"Everyone alright?"

"Fine, just got a graze. See, and you thought you were going to miss all the fun Tiny Tim." she grinned. He had his crutch with him.

"Finch?" Reese was eyeing him oddly.

"I'm alright."

"Why do you look like you belong on a farm, and when did Shaw become a cross dresser?" She smiled at Harold, who glared at his friend.

"See, told you farmer Finch," she teased.

"It's a long story, Mr. Reese, a very long story. One that doesn't require to ever be told."

* * *

Author's note: Action action and more action is what this chapter was lol. Some baddies died, some baddies got away, and some baddies escaped with wounds. Our team kicked some serious ASS!

You'll may want to harm me for the next chapter because more angst is on the way, and you guys probably thought happy ever after was coming close right? Since mostly its over, not all there is more explanation in the next chapter about what had happened. Careese might start having second thoughts...that's all I can tease. Okay gonna hop and skip away until next update(which will be soon promise) it will be sooner than a week :D

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing you guys are so sweet.


	24. Chapter 23

"April McGee, Suzanne, and her husband are all safe now." Finch sighed as the five of them sat together at Riley's Pub. Finch felt they needed a stiff drink, all of them. After the police showed up and they were all cleared to leave since Jocelyn gave Bates and Freeman the documentation that proved that Cunningham and his men were behind the murders of Maya Armstrong, Boyd Daniels, Terney, Quinn, and Simmons. Cunningham's men that were alive and caught, including a near dead Detective Ryder Collins, were also going to be charged with the attempted murders of Harold Crane, John Rooney, Detectives Carter and Fusco, and Samantha Smith. Finch had eagerly taken his clothing back from Ms. Shaw, relieved to stop listening to his friends tease him about the overalls. He felt more himself, his spirits were up considerably because much of the nightmare was over, but he was still very much worried presently.

"Same with you, Finch," Shaw spoke up. The day's events had been overwhelming to say the least. They had taken down a lot of Cunningham's men, including Cunningham who was identified by Finch himself. Problem was, Greer got away, and there were still some of the tattooed men left out there. The personal threat to himself was gone, same to Suzanne, but he had a feeling the threat to Mr. Reese wasn't. Sure, the threat was gone for now, but he was sure if any of these tattooed men saw John they'd gun for him. It was just another group he had a run in with and now they wanted him dead. John had a knack for pissing off the criminal underworld. He now had the Aryans, SP-9, a bunch of different gangs, the Russians, the Bulgarians, Decima, and these tattooed men gunning for him.

"I'll be fine, Finch," he assured the smaller man, sensing his worry. "I'll add them to the list of people that hate me." He smiled sipping his beer. "Including the FBI, NYPD, and my former employers." Finch nodded with a soft smile, knowing he was right, he was gonna be alright.

"Can it really be over?" Finch breathed out loud, not sure if he was really asking anyone for their input or not.

"I think so, 'glasses,' I think this chapter is closed, but who knows what the future will bring? Cunningham's men have the Russians and HR running amuck. Elias surely will try to further their downward descent. It's not perfect, but it's a little better. Carter's and my phone aren't ringing off the hook with more murders."

"Right." Finch shifted his gaze to the detective. She had been quiet the entire time they'd been here. She looked upset, looked ready to cry over something. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but the way she leaned into John as they were sitting together spoke of their intimate relationship. He and Shaw had overheard them, but anyone with eyes can see that they had gone from just being friends to something more. He had an arm wrapped around her shoulders seemingly forgetting he was supposed to be just a friend of hers. But it was her ramrod straight back, the stiffness to her features, and the sadness in her eyes that worried him. Something was wrong, he wasn't sure what but he had a feeling it was bad.

"We'll deal with the leftovers of HR, the Russians, and Cunningham's men later when we are all healed and ready to go," John spoke up downing the last of his drink.

"John, lets go," Joss said quietly and Finch had a feeling whatever was upsetting the detective was John related. He hoped everything was alright for the two of them. Shaw seemed to pick up on the tension in her as well because she eyed the woman quietly. The two stood up, John positioned his crutch under his arm and they walked slowly to the exit.

"Trouble in paradise already," Shaw sighed throwing back her beer.

"What do you mean?" Fusco yawned. It was only four in the afternoon but he felt drained as well.

"Oh come on, surely you can tell their banging one another."

"Oh gross! Thanks for the visual, Lady Rambo!" Fusco snarked as he drank some more of his own beer. "Please, skip ahead."

"Something happened; Reese probably said or did something stupid already." she laughed as she knocked back the last bit of her beer. "He'll grovel at her feet, make it up to her."

"Yeah well, as much as I love hanging out with you, G.I Jane, and you, 'glasses,' I think I'm going to head home, take a nice long shower and just sit on my ass and relax. Its been a long damned time since this began. Hell, its been going on probably since wonder boy was nabbed. I need a day off."

"Yes, yes detective, have a lovely rest of your evening. Thank you for helping."

"Don't mention it, 'four eyes'," Finch smiled as the detective slowly stood up leaving him alone with Shaw.

"Ms. Shaw."

"Don't thank me either I told you before, Reese and I are your soldiers; we are willing to die for you." Harold eyed the young woman.

"Yes well, I still need to thank you. What you did today, impersonating me was a huge risk that could have harmed you while you saved my life and a lot of others as well. I'm glad you are a part of our purpose, our mission of saving the numbers." she nodded. He could swear he saw a flicker of emotion in her cold brown eyes. Ms. Shaw didn't like any emotional entanglements of any kind, but it seemed they had slowly gained her trust.

"Yeah well, don't expect me to get cozy with you or Reese, but I might stick around for a while longer, even when Reese is back on his feet. You know, for Bear." Finch smiled warmly.

"For Bear," he agreed allowing the young woman who had extreme trust issues to have the last word.

* * *

Janet trashed the office, sobs escaping her, Isaac was dead. The love of her life was murdered, gunned down by Finch, Reese, and Elias. They took the only man to ever love her, the only man that cared a damn about her. He was gone, she had nothing, she had nothing to live for, except for revenge.

* * *

Joss found herself being pushed into her bedroom of her own apartment by John as he closed the door behind them. His mouth was on hers, kissing her like he wasn't ever going to stop while she closed her eyes. But every time she did all she could think of was what almost happened. She pushed out of the kiss. John's mouth trailed hot kisses across her jaw line while she tried to calm the anguish in her heart. John loved her, wanted to be with her, and all she could think of was him almost dying. _You won't make it through that_, her mind screamed. But she loved this man, so much, surely she could risk it to be with him. Sure her husband died, Cal was murdered, John's life was dangerous but he was capable of handling it. _But what if he gets ambushed, what if he can't fight them off because he's attacked from behind? What if, what if what if- _those damned 'what ifs' were plaguing her, scaring her, she'd be alone again. She shuddered, which he mistook for a shiver. He smiled against her skin his hands roaming across her body.

"I love you Joss." her eyes slid shut as he held her protectively while she tried to work it out in her head. He was safe and alive, but he almost wasn't, it had been a close call early this afternoon. She couldn't get the image of John dying in her arms, his lifeless blue eyes peering up at her, and she'd be alone again, out of her head. _"You're not alone."_ His words haunted her and she pushed out of his arms immediately. He looked at her perplexed, unsure of what was wrong, and everything was wrong. Not just her fear that she would end up alone, but the fact that now that John was safe, he could move around better which meant he didn't need her anymore she had no reason to live with him anymore. Sure he needed physical training still, which they were going to continue, but he didn't need her by his side constantly. Where did that leave them? What if John's feelings for her weren't real? What if they were just because of the situation they had been in; he had been injured, relegated to leaning on her, and maybe his feelings weren't love but rather manufactured from being cooped up with her all the time.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly reaching for her again. She shook her head, stepping back.

"I'm sorry," she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"It's okay, it's been a long few months," he assured her, smiling, trying to pull her back to him. "It's over, we're all safe again. I'll continue to heal and once I am I get to be on top." His words were sweet, but she shook her head as she backpedaled.

"No, I'm sorry, John, I need you to go. I need to be alone." She said quietly, refusing anymore tears to leak out. She needed perspective, she needed to think things through, and she couldn't do that with John here. He made her mind take a break, he made her body yearn for his, he made everything much more complicated for her when he was around. No if she was going to think about their relationship, she needed space, needed time, and so did he. He was staring at her clearly confused.

"Why?"

"I just need time."

"Time for what?"

"Time to process, you nearly died this afternoon."

"What are you talking about?" his confusion clearly rose.

"I thought you had been shot, John, I went rushing to you when Collins came in. Had I stayed where I was, he wouldn't have been able to grab me, and his other men wouldn't have almost shot you." The confusion in his eyes, and face fled, and a smile slid onto his mouth. Why was he smiling? It had been the worst minute of her life!

"Joss, I was nowhere near dying, neither were you. We work well together, we always have and always will." She nodded her head in agreement. They did work great together. Intellectually she knew everything worked out fine, but it put her senses on high alert, it reaffirmed to her that John would die to protect everyone. It was how he was, the question remained; could she place her heart on the line for a man that would surely give up his life for his purpose? She already had to do it twice, once with her husband a second time with Cal, could she do it a third time? She loved John Reese so much she hadn't lied about him being easy to love, but it didn't mean it was going to be easy to be with him.

"Yeah, we do work well together, but we need to take a breath." his smile slid from his face, an emotion crossed his features that she couldn't easily read.

"What does that mean?"

"It means what happens if what you're feeling isn't love? What happens if it's just because of your injury and we were enclosed in that apartment together all the time?" She voiced one of her two main concerns with going forward in their relationship. She wanted to be with him, but to be truly together they both needed to figure some things out alone, separately, before they stood a chance to be together.

"So you're saying what you said to me was a lie?" She could see the pain in his expression as he said it and she immediately shook her head. She grabbed his hand, needing to touch and soothe him.

"No, no, never John, I will never take that back. I love you so much, you don't know how much, and I believe you _think_ you are in love me, but what if you're not? Don't you think we need some time to process everything outside of being locked in that apartment, being together all the time and nearly dying? These past few months have left you literally stuck with me. What if you're feelings aren't born out of love but out of the familiarity of us being together?" She didn't need him to want to be with her because he found it secure to do so. She wanted him to love her, desire her, and want to be with her. They had been locked in that apartment, enveloped in their own little world for months; what if she didn't fit in his real world? His real world where he saved the numbers, placed his life on the line daily, and had no room for much else. Right now he was injured, right now he needed her, but what would happen when he was better? Was there any room in his life for her for a relationship? Before he had been grabbed by Cunningham there hadn't been, there had been stretches of time she didn't see him. She knew his purpose, these numbers which she still needed to talk to him seriously about would always have to come first. Could they make it work, could they even attempt to try?

"So you're suggesting I can't tell the difference between falling in love with you and wanting to be with you because it's easier and familiar? It's easier for me to be alone, but I don't want to be alone, I want to be with you." His words sounded angry and maybe even a little hurt. She didn't mean to hurt him, but she couldn't help but worry this was too easy. Nothing in her life ever came easily, especially in the love department.

"I'm sorry, but yeah, I have to question it or it will always be in the back of my mind. Are you with me because you truly love me and want to, or are you with me because you feel obligated to do so?"

"Obligated?"

"You know what I mean."

"Obviously I don't. I never felt an obligation to you, not ever. You asked me to choose you, I did, Joss, no looking back, no looking at the future that we may or may not have. I'm all in for the present, its how I have to live. I am not guaranteed a tomorrow, no one is, but I have a feeling that's not how you are looking at it."

"No, its not how I'm looking at it. I can't look at it that way."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't."

"That's not explaining anything, I don't understand why you are pushing me away."

"I'm not pushing you away, I'm asking for time."

"Why do you need time, you love me?!"

"I need to know if I can do it again, John!" she shouted needing him to understand her. She stared into his blue eyes, hoping he could hear her this time.

"Do what again?"

"Piece my shattered heart back together when I lose you because I have never loved a man the way I love you." her words were barely audible, she saw understanding dawning in his features. He took a step closer to her which she took a tiny one back.

"You won't lose me."

"John, please don't make promises you can't keep." She looked away, she needed some distance between them. She went to exit her bedroom when he held it shut with his giant palm. She kept her back to him and felt his warm breath washing against the back of her neck. "Don't, John, your mission, your saving those numbers will get you killed, right? You and Harold were adamant about not wanting me to know about this '_machine_' for my safety. Which means they'll kill you, which you knew probably back when you signed up for helping Finch with the numbers right?"

"Joss-"

"It's a suicide mission which you will never give up, no matter how much I ask you to not play god, or how much I want you in my life for as long as I can possibly have you." She said keeping her eyes on the wooden door in front of her. "Even if I asked you to give up saving the numbers, I know what your answer will be, a resounding 'no.'" He turned her around and she felt herself falling. She just stared in his eyes. "John, I lost my husband, I lost Cal, and when I thought I lost you I nearly died inside. The loss of my husband and my boyfriend hurt me, but nearly losing you hurt me in a very different way. I felt like I lost my soul when you were gone, I felt like I was living without my heart." She reached a hand up to caress his face. "We both have some figuring out to do before we get any further involved together."

"What am I supposed to do? Walk out this door, leave you? I don't want to. I love you." She leaned her head against the door his hands were on her hips, the crutch under his arm, he fitted himself against her like he was made for her.

"John-" he angrily shook his head.

"Don't tell me how I feel about you, I know what love feels like, but if you want time and space…fine, I'll give it to you. I'll give you all the space you need to figure out what we both already know." He agreed sounding a bit smug, sad, and angry all mixed together as he wrapped an arm around her waist yanking her to him fully. "I love you, and now that I found you I will never let you go." He vowed and she shivered slightly at the look on his face. She got a sense that John wasn't going to be patient he was going to give her time, and then pursue her. She felt exhilarated at his promise. She moaned as his mouth was on hers, devouring it, bruising in its intensity.

She could care less at the pain in her still healing split lip. She kissed him back just as furiously wanting him, needing him. Her breath stopped as he pushed out of the kiss looking down at her. "Did that feel like I want to be with you because it's familiar?" She could only helplessly stare up into his beautiful face. "I don't care if we were living together for years as just friends, I don't want to be with you because you're there; I want to be with you because it's you, Joss, I just want you." he pulled her away from the door. She could see the hurt in his eyes that he was desperately trying to mask. It was never her intention to hurt him, she loved him, but she couldn't help but protect her heart. She always thought of everyone else's needs but her own, she wished she could say this was the case as well. But she had to think about her heart, her life. Could she be with him, lose him, and pick up the pieces of her demolished heart? She lost two men already. John quite possibly was the man she was destined to be with, her soulmate, could she handle losing him too?

He eyed her with a hurt gaze before throwing the door open, leaving her alone in the bedroom. She slowly laid down on her bed, curled in a ball as tears began falling. When she heard the front door to her apartment shut, the tears fell harder, missing him already, and they didn't stop until she had nothing left and fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Author's note:So I was gonna wait to announce it till the final chapter but the last few are more Careese oriented, so I guess I'll let the cat out of the bag now which only two people know since they figured it out lol. But I'm writing a sequel for this story, I'll give a little preview of what it will entail in the final author's note, but you guys rock at figuring out the small unanswered questions I've been leaving in chapters :D

Possessive John is always fun to write. Poor Joss trying to do the mature thing, and John was unhappy with it. I thought it was something true in Joss's heart something she would be extremely worried about, their love came during a time when John had to lean on her, she's naturally going to worry its manufactured rather than real. Especially coming from a woman that has been hurt, betrayed in love before I think its natural for her to want time. And technically its not a breakup so you guys won't kill me, right? Plus think of it this way, they can have lots of makeup sex which makes the world go round :P

Next chapter a few of their friends are irritable about the 'breakup' because of how its affecting THEM, rather than Careese, and two matchmakers try their hands at getting them back together.

Speaking of next chapter I'm gonna post it today, soonish since you guys had to wait around for me this week again I swear October is steadily becoming busier and busier for me :( But anyways, thank you very much for baring with me, and reading I appreciate it!


	25. Chapter 24

"You okay, Carter?" Joss knew she must look like hell. She hadn't seen John in weeks now; whenever she got a call it was from Finch or Shaw. She would ask Shaw how John was doing on his physical training and she would answer with a short, clipped, and curt 'fine' and then be all business. He was doing as she asked, giving her space, and it was making her need to see him more.

"Yeah, fine," she answered, quietly sipping her coffee.

"Still not sleeping, huh?"

"I said I'm fine Fusco," she snapped. He held up his hands.

"Yeah, I can see and hear that. Sorry I asked." He stood up walking to the pot of coffee, pouring himself some. She felt terrible. She just snapped at her friend for asking if she was alright. She moved over to where he stood.

"I'm sorry, Fusco."

"Hey, its okay, but maybe, I don't know, you should go kick his ass or something. It's been weeks since you two split or whatever you two did, and its getting out of hand now."

"It wasn't John's doing, Fusco. We both needed to be alone to figure a few things out," she whispered. She looked around making sure they were alone. "I'm the one that asked for time."

"Why? Clearly you're unhappy without wonder boy."

"Because."

"Yep, that clears everything up, Carter."

"It doesn't even matter," she sighed.

"Why? Wonder boy is in love with you, he looks even worse than you do at the moment. Which is saying something because I never thought I'd ever say this to you Carter, but you look bad." Fusco cringed as he eyed her. She didn't care about anything anymore. Nothing seemed to matter when her heart was separated from her body. John had it, owned it forever and ever.

"He's alright, right?"

"Besides being heartsick, you neuter him or something, Carter? But anyways, yeah, he's fine besides missing you. I thought it was his doing, so I was happy he was hurting, but now I feel kind of bad for ribbing the guy."

"You didn't."

"Well Carter, usually when it comes to things of a personal nature, wonder boy screws up. He's not exactly Mr. Emotional or anything."

"What did you say to him?"

Fusco squirmed. "Nothing, I just ribbed wonder boy. Relax, you make it sound like I shot and killed the guy."

"Have you seen him lately?"

"Yeah, like last night on a stakeout with Shaw."

"Should he be doing a stakeout; what about his leg, he's letting it go isn't he?" she snarled.

"Whoa, Carter relax, Shaw is taking good care of his leg. He's without the crutch now, he's healing, though he looks like Einstein now limping around town. Wonder boy is back on the road to recovery, he even looks like wonder boy again. Kneecapping the bad guys and everything. He's gained all the weight back, he's got his muscles coming back, you'd be proud of him. He allows Shaw and I to do the heavy lifting while he drives for now. He still gripes about that, but otherwise he knows of his limitations and is taking his time to heal. He listened to you." Fusco smiled. "I don't know how you got him to listen to you but you did." She nodded her head. "Look, you haven't seen him since what?- when the shit hit the fan with Cunningham, right?"

"Right."

"Well it's been a few weeks since then. Why don't you talk to him, put him out of his misery? Wonder boy is otherwise known now as lovesick boy, he's got it bad for you." Fusco chuckled. "Real bad. If you winked at him he'd be on top of you, alright," Fusco said as he walked with a donut and his coffee back to his desk. "Call him, talk to him; if it will put you and him in a better mood the better it is for the rest of us."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Lady Rambo, and glasses are ready to super glue wonder boy's mouth shut because he's got an attitude problem, which is your fault come to think of it, so fix it, Carter." She opened her mouth to argue with him some more, when her cell rang. She walked around and saw it was Shaw.

"Meet me in fifteen minutes at Columbia Park, Carter." She opened her mouth to say she couldn't when the woman hung up on her. She scowled. The nerve. She grabbed her coat angrily.

"Where you going, please say making up with wonder boy?"

"No, I'm being summoned by Lady Rambo!"

"Oh good, better you than me, have fun." He waved and she glared at him as she exited the precinct. She arrived at Columbia Park about ten minutes later, stomping her way into the middle, wondering where the annoying Ms. Shaw would be.

"Oh good you made it, detective." She turned and saw Shaw and Finch making their way towards her. She had been half hoping John would be with them. She wanted to see him so much, keen disappointment knifed through her. He was really, truly listening to her, and it was angering her.

"Looking for someone?" Shaw asked.

"No."

"Oh god, you are going to be just as annoying as Reese aren't you?" Shaw whined leaning her head back. "You two are so pigheaded, its beyond annoying. I should have done my idea first."

"What?"

"My idea was to kidnap you both, force you into a god damn hotel room and allow you two to screw each other's brains out. Relief for everyone." Shaw sighed. "But no, I had to listen to Finch here." Shaw poked Finch's arm. She smiled slightly, glad to see the easiness between these two. She remembered when Shaw had been a loose cannon.

"Look, this isn't any of your business anyway," She replied, not about to let them have a say in her relationship or lack of one with John.

"Well we are making it our business, since its affecting all of us."

"All of who?"

"Fusco, Finch, and I! Do you think we can handle much more of this?"

"Ms. Shaw, please relax." Finch stated calmly with a smile on his face.

"Of what?" She demanded the smaller woman.

"Of you two not getting back together. Whatever is holding you two back, figure it out, because Reese is even more grouchy than I am. I'm ready to buy the man a muzzle. I was thinking about a hooker, but I knew he wouldn't use one"

"Mr. Reese hasn't been in the best of moods since whatever transpired between the two of you," Finch supplied and she sighed. She knew that he was hurt and angry by her asking for space that they both needed. He wouldn't ever admit to needing the distance himself, but she was sure he needed it as well. "Mr. Reese hasn't said a word about why you two parted ways, my first instinct is that it was Mr. Reese who had upset you."

"Why is everyone so quick to jump to it being John's fault?" she demanded.

"He isn't exactly good with women, Carter."

She sighed. She supposed not; she felt bad for him and he was letting everyone think it was him, which wasn't fair to him. "It wasn't John, it was me."

"What happened, Jocelyn?" Finch asked gently.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Well if its nothing, that settles everything. Go screw him so we can all get back on with our purpose." Shaw retorted.

"Shaw!" both Finch and Carter exclaimed causing the other woman to sigh, appearing to reign in her impatience.

"Come on Carter, you love the guy he loves you, what is the problem?"

"The problem, Shaw, is that John needed time to figure out how he truly felt for me and I needed time to figure out if I could handle what life would be like with him."

"So he lives a dangerous life, I still don't hear why it lead to you breaking it off with him. You knew what he was before you two fuc- ugh, got together; you didn't seem to care then." Shaw gentled her voice. She glared at this woman. Was she being purposely dense?

"I lost two men in my life already, I love John more than life itself and I don't know if I can handle losing him too!" she shouted in frustration, deciding her first assessment that Shaw was intelligent was a miscue.

"And now there is the real root of the problem." Shaw grinned as she bumped shoulders with Finch. "See I told you, I could get her to tell us, Finch." Shaw's smile faded as she turned her gaze back onto her. Shaw wasn't one to be the warmest people out in the world, the woman was good at grating on people's nerves which was happening to her right now. "So let me get this straight, you are throwing away your loving relationship because he _might_ die?" she cocked a brow up. She clenched her teeth together.

"Its not that simple."

"It's what I heard Carter, everyone dies. It's a fact of life, we pay taxes and die. But really you should have thought of this _before_ you asked him to choose you, Carter."

Her eyes widened as she eyed Finch and Shaw. Finch looked sheepish while Shaw seemed to care less about revealing this.

"You heard that?!"

"Yes, Jocelyn, we overheard your entire conversation with Mr. Reese in that moment. We didn't intend to listen, but we did, and I'm sorry for the intrusion." Harold gently touched her forearm as he took a step towards her. His eyes warm, his expression soft and compassionate. "There is no easy answer for you or John on how to proceed. You have every right to want him to do a little soul searching to make sure his feelings are genuine. It is actually quite admirable you are willing to allow him a chance to figure things out, he doesn't see it quite in that way, but I do. John is in love with you. I hope you know deep down inside you that you didn't need to give him time, space, distance or any of that for him to know he loves you."

"I just wanted him to be sure," she said quietly.

"I know, Jocelyn, which I'm sure he knows deep down inside as well. Which is why he hasn't come barreling down, pressuring you to take him back. He wants you ready as much as he is."

"We all know how ready you two are for one another." Shaw sniped and she let out a half chuckle, half sigh at the woman. Finch shot Shaw a look. "What? Come on, they already said they love each other, they picked one another to move on with, this was just an annoying blip in the road for them. They figured out what we all already knew, now they can get back together so the grouch is happy again and I don't have to shoot him." She looked at Shaw. That was actually a spot-on observation about her relationship with him, which surprised her, coming from the woman that claimed relationships were useless. "What, just because I think love is a waste of time doesn't mean I can't recognize when people are in it?" She nodded her head. Wait until this woman found a man that changed her mind about love.

"You think he would want to speak with me after making him wait for so long to figure some stuff out?"

"I know he would, he misses you Jocelyn. Just go speak with him."

"How, just call him up and say 'hey John, its me Joss I'm ready now, take me back,'" she groaned at even the idea of calling him up, trying to get back together with him over the phone.

"I have a better idea, leave everything to me. Just show up to Giovanni's for dinner tonight at eight." she smiled gratefully.

"Thank you Finch."

"No need to thank me dear, you two are my dearest friends, I wish for you two to be happy again." She nodded her head, feeling happy for the first time since she asked John for some time. She was ready, and from what her friends said, so was he, and nothing was going to get in their way this time.

* * *

"You know, John, its impolite to not listen to a woman when she's talking to you." he blinked as he softly tapped his fingers against the wooden table he and Zoe were sitting at. He lifted his gaze from the floor he was staring holes into to gaze at her.

"What?"

"Wow, so John, how's things going with you and the detective?" he felt everything in him tighten at the mention of Joss. It was taking everything in him from not going to her apartment, picking her lock, and forcing her to be with him. Time, she needed time. But he wasn't a very patient man, so waiting for her was taking all his willpower, but he didn't want to lose her, not when he finally found her. "I take it not so good, did you tell her your feelings yet?"

"New subject, Zoe." he responded quietly.

"I take that as a 'no.'"

"Zoe, not that it's any of your business but she knows how I feel." Zoe's beautiful face showed her surprise before a delightful smile filled it. She leaned forward, pressing a hand on his.

"Well one woman's mistake is another woman's treasure," she breathed, taking it that Joss didn't want him. Their lunch was placed in front of them. He removed his hand from hers when he felt her foot climbing its way up his leg.

"I'm not a damned treasure." he snapped stabbing angrily at his Chicken Lo Mein. She eyed him quietly while she delicately used her fork as she tasted her Szechuan chicken. He took a sip of water before eyeing her, angry with himself for snapping at her. "I'm sorry, Zoe; where's Fusco at?" he griped looking around the Chinese restaurant.

"It's okay John, I won't quit trying." she winked at him. He sighed. "Yes, well, since the detective is a no show, which has never happened to me before, how about I just tell you what I learned about your Mr. Joshua Helvey."

"Please," he sighed grateful to think of something other than about Joss, how much he missed her and wanted her. Zoe however didn't speak, he looked up at her seeing her eyes looking out the window, before they landed on him. She smiled as she leaned forward. Her hand going for his again, her foot climbed up his calf again.

"John, Zoe." he nearly spat out of his food when he realized it was Joss. He looked up when she and Fusco appeared beside their table.

"Started without me, huh." Fusco said taking a seat between him and Zoe. He removed his leg from anywhere near Zoe's foot, and with Lionel between them Zoe couldn't play footsie with him anymore thankfully.

"Carter, what are you doing here?" He kept his gaze off of her. If he looked at her, he'd beg her to make him hers, make it so he could see her everyday again. He missed her so much, but he couldn't make the decision for her. She asked for time to figure things out, so he was giving it to her even if it made his entire heart ache.

"Fusco asked me to lunch; I said 'yes.'" she snapped, walking irritably around to the other side of the table. Her eyes blazed at Zoe, who just stared innocently at the detective while she sat down between him and Zoe on the other side of the table. He shot an angry look at Fusco who shrugged.

"What? You invited this lady, I figured you have been missing Carter," Fusco explained, nodding to Zoe.

"I need to go use the little girl's room, I'll be back." Zoe touched his hand and he looked up at her wondering what she was doing? He shifted a sidelong gaze to Joss as she shoved her seat back.

"Me too," she said sugary sweet. "Fusco can you be a doll, and order Chicken Lo Mein like John's for me. Thanks." She stalked behind Zoe towards the restrooms while he eyed her butt until she disappeared from his view.

"What the hell are you doing, wonder boy? You love Carter and here you are playing footsie with that lady? She doesn't hold a candle to Carter!"

"First off, Lionel, I wasn't playing footsie with anyone; secondly you don't have a say in my life anymore than anyone else does," he said deceptively quietly, his eyes stormy as he looked up at Fusco. "Why is she here?" he demanded while wanting to throw Zoe out of the bathroom and then take Joss in the bathroom stall in the damned Chinese restaurant. Why would Fusco bring her? It was taking all his strength not to go to her, now seeing her, hearing her voice was making it that much harder on him.

"She was hungry."

"Lionel," he growled.

"Because you need to see her, maybe you'll fight for her." he shook inside. Fight for her? Didn't Lionel know how much he wanted to fight for her? He looked back down, poking at his food, his appetite gone. He shoved his seat back throwing money that should cover the bill, he needed to leave before he made a pathetic attempt at making her take him back. _Time, time, time_-she needed time. "Where you going?"

"I'm not hungry, Lionel, find out what Zoe knows about Mr. Helvey and call me. Next time, come alone." he turned and stalked his way out of Leong's.

* * *

Zoe entered the bathroom, waiting for the detective, and when she finally entered, she smiled.

"Hello detective, lovely day isn't it?"

"Just back off okay, John is mine." she eyed the detective in the reflection of the mirror. There was no jealousy, no anger, no cattiness to her voice, the detective was just speaking the truth. John was indeed the detective's, completely and utterly.

"He is, isn't he?" she smiled, applying lipstick to her lips with the use of the mirror.

"Damn right he is! The only reason we aren't together right now is because I asked for time for the both of us to sort some stuff out. I love him and I know he loves me. He can't stop loving me anymore than I can stop loving him."

"So have you figured it out, detective? Because he's is a very desirable man. Other women wouldn't let him go."

"Like you?"

"Like me, I never hid the fact that I found John attractive, he knows how I feel. So I'm letting you know, if you screw up, I'm going to make you wish you hadn't." She smiled as she turned away from the mirror to eye the woman, face to face. "I don't like relationships, they're too messy, but I have a feeling a relationship with John would be worth the mess it would create."

"Well sorry, Zoe, to burst your bubble but I'm not letting him get away," she smiled softly.

"Good, because he is as miserable without you as you appear to be without him. How about we go make the man happy, he's missing you desperately." She nodded her head as they both exited the bathroom. She followed Carter out, seeing only Detective Fusco sitting at their table.

"Where's John, Fusco?"

"He left."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I'm not his keeper, Carter! He just said he had to go, he misses you though, that was clear." she nodded her head, any one with eyes could see how much the man missed the detective.

"I guess I'll have to wait til tonight to tell him everything."

"So does that mean you and wonder boy are gonna get together again?" Zoe saw the sudden happy expression the heavyset detective had on his face.

"Yes."

"Halle-freaking-lujah!"

* * *

Author's note: Only one last chapter to go...no hints since you guys probably will figure out the end then if I tell you lol. But its cutesy after all the angst they have gone through. More is on the way with the sequel coming but, I figured a little happiness should make everyone happy :)

Thanks for reading, the last chapter will be posted sometime soon not too sure when though. Well for sure it won't be tomorrow, that I do know lol.


	26. Chapter 25

John made his way into Giovanni's restaurant, noticing the lack of customers but said nothing as he was led to the back room, eyeing the room with confusion.

"I'm to meet a Mr. Harold Wren, ma'am," John spoke quietly as he eyed the room he was lead to. It was highly romantic, rose pedals littered the ground, the lights dimmed only candlelight lit up the back room, champagne already on ice, soft music was playing.

"Oh dear, someone must have mixed something up. Can you wait in here, Mr. Rooney, please. I'll be right back once we straightened it out," she apologized as she hurried away, her blonde hair flying as she rushed out. He sighed, walking to the lone table in the middle of the room. Whoever this romantic dinner party for two was for, they had good taste, they even had chocolate. He grabbed a piece, unhooked the wrapper and popped it into his mouth.

"Waiting for someone?" he whirled around, almost chocked on the chocolate, and stared. Joss stood in the doorway, looking beautiful. She was wearing a cranberry colored halter style dress. It had a circle of fake diamonds on the bodice, the middle of the circle was cut out, her skin showing a hint of cleavage. The dress was skin tight, showing off her curvy body. He felt a kick to the gut as he eyed her, he felt his body reacting to hers, and damn it he couldn't stop it from doing so. His eyes lifted up to her face, her hair framed it, and she had a smile on her gorgeous face. No more bruises, scrapes, or a split lip marred her face any longer. He continued to stare, which she didn't seem to mind. She moved into the room, and finally he forced himself to speak.

"Finch."

"Excuse me?" Her beautiful face scrunched up in confusion.

"I-I'm waiting for Finch, Joss, we're having a meeting," he looked away, clearing his throat. "What are you doing here?" if she said she was on a date with another man, he'd find the man that thought of taking her out, and first punch the man in the face for looking at what was his then kneecap him for taking her out.

"I was waiting for my date to finally arrive, I felt like I've been waiting forever for this sexy, gorgeous, blue eyed, extraordinary kisser, and extremely well built man." he looked up, realizing she meant him, and saw she was directly in front of him. He took an involuntarily step back.

"Joss-" she reached out to touch him and he sidestepped her, but she moved directly in front of him again.

"He's an incredible lover," he closed his eyes. "He makes me laugh, cry, get angry, and he makes me very happy."

"Joss, you wanted space." He wanted her so badly, but he needed her to say it. He needed her to tell him she was ready, tell him what they both knew already.

"I know." he felt her hands on his shoulders. His eyes finally met hers. "I love you for giving it to me, you've been a really patient man allowing me to muddle through my own insecurities and fears. I miss you, I love you, living without you isn't living at all. I want to live in the here and now, no fear of the future, just us being together." his heart pounded as a small smile filled his face. He knew she'd come to her senses, she always knew what she wanted, she was just scared like him. He couldn't fault her she lost so much in her life. "I love you so much, please say you still feel the same."

"Joss-" she pulled his head down and his assurance that he still loved her was muffled as her lips connected with his. He grabbed her desperately. Oh god, how much he loved this woman. He kissed her brutally, seeking, taking and she sighed as she took it and more. He felt her wrap her arms around his neck. More, he needed more. He pushed out of her kiss. He tried to move from her but she tightened her hold around his neck. "I love you," he assured her.

"Thank you for giving me time, even though I didn't need it, I wasted weeks of being with you." he moaned as he yanked her to him fully, as his mouth sought hers. He pushed out of the kiss pressing hot kisses down her neck, sucking gently.

"Is it safe to assume, Finch got me here under false pretenses?"

"Yes," she said breathlessly.

He sighed, not caring at all. He just wanted her, thankful they were finally getting back together. He missed her so much.

"Mine, forever, I'm never letting you go," he vowed as he grabbed her ass.

"Never, please, John, never let me go," she moaned in his ear as she walked him backwards so his back hit the wall. Her hands roamed his body while his did the same. He kissed her with bruising intensity, and they heard a clearing of a throat. She pushed out of the kiss, and they both looked back. He saw it was the same woman that had gone to check into the mixup, she had a small smile on her face. She had been in on it, she was a pretty good actress if Reese said so himself.

"We don't allow, well you know, in the restaurant but Mr. Wren's car has arrived to pick you both up to take you any place you wish."

"My place," She said quickly, they shared in a smile and he nodded his head.

* * *

Joss moaned as John's hand was caressing her ass, his mouth sucking at her neck, and his other hand in her jacket, cupping her breast while she struggled with the damn key to her apartment. It was much too difficult to think with him on top of her. She, finally got the damn thing open and with a cry of success she turned in his arms and plastered her mouth to his. He pushed her back, their hands frantic as they bumped into things as they fumbled with their jackets. His mouth was sinful as his tongue swept the inner recesses of her mouth as she awkwardly slid the door shut, her mind on much more pleasant things then the stupid door. She broke the kiss for much needed oxygen, she found his racing pulse and sucked there. Their hands collided together trying to undo his shirt at the same time.

"How's the knee?" she moaned as he whirled her around pressing her against the wall.

"Feeling good," he said between kisses, pausing to sink his tongue into her mouth again. They finally got his damn shirt undone, and off his shoulders when they parted. Her hands pulling on his white t-shirt, freeing it from his dress pants. "Dr. Stevens says its looking good and I got about seventy five percent range back." he sprinkled hot kisses along her jaw line before his arms lifted for the shirt to be lifted off. "Kristina gave me a sucker for being such a good boy," she laughed but it turned to a moan when she threw the shirt off and scraped her nails across his hot, smooth skin. She bit his shoulder. "H-how's Taylor?" he struggled to undo her zipper at the back of her dress, and she kicked her heels off.

"G-good, he misses you," she moaned before she brought her mouth on his again, needing his kiss more than anything. Their hands reacquainted themselves with each other's bodies. She pushed out of the kiss and swung them around so he was against the wall. Her hands going for his belt buckle, while he finally unzipped her new dress which pooled at her feet. She smirked at his look glad she had foregone a bra. He was at her mercy.

"Oh Joss," he moaned, leaning down, wrapping an arm around her back bringing her to him, and his mouth was on her breast. He sucked, licked, nipped, and drove her wild. Scratch that thought she was at his mercy as she trembled in need. She fumbled a bit with his pants needing to get into them so badly, but thinking was almost incomprehensible with his mouth on her breasts. He was sucking, and gently biting before soothing the pang with his tongue. She abandoned her mission when she couldn't undo the button. His belt hung open, and she gently rubbed his back, she felt his scars there.

"John," her body felt like it was going to overheat at any moment. She felt wetness coating her thighs, coating her panties, she needed him so badly. She yanked hard on his hair to tug him from her breasts, needing to kiss him, he sighed as he kissed her hungrily. He lifted her into his arms, his one arm under her knees while the other wrapped tightly around her. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pressing kisses to his jawline as he carried her towards her bedroom. She felt his limp, but knew he had most if not all his strength back in the rest of his body. She could feel the hard muscles coming back, felt his strength as he carried her as if she weighed less than a feather. His leg was the last bit to heal. She tugged on his earlobe while he finally got her into her bedroom. He deposited her on the bed softly, before he stood back up. She grinned as she sat up a little so she could grab the opened belt pulling him down onto her. He smiled in return as he slid on top of her, between her legs, feeling so perfect there. He was a little too overdressed, now that she thought of it, so she rotated her hips just a little loving the soft sigh he made.

"I get to be on top this time." He trailed his tongue down her chin, her neck, down the valley between her breasts, and she shook her head. She rolled them over, before pinning his hands to the bed, and smiled coyly down at him.

"Nope." She nipped at his chin, before she kissed him, and tugged on his lower lip letting it go with a slight plop. "I'm going to ride you baby," she whispered hotly in his ear and he groaned. She found herself rolled beneath him again, their legs dangling off the edge of her bed, and his one hand slipped beneath the elastic of her panties. She moaned his name when he found her clitoris with his thumb.

"You're so wet," his voice grew tight. She moaned, her legs spreading wide when he slid a finger inside her as if testing her. His hand stroked her, his mouth lowering back to her breast, and she gasped as he knew exactly what to do to her to set her off. He added another finger, while his thumbed worked her clitoris is a gentle rhythm. He sucked while he plucked her other nipple hard between his index finger and thumb. She felt like she was drowning in pleasure. The storm grew, the tension inside her coiled tighter, and she cried his name as it snapped. She clutched him to her while her orgasm rocked her under him, she shook as his name was weakly moaned from her as he sighed against her chest before he reluctantly removed his hand from her panties. He grinned, pushing off of her, undoing his pants, and removed the rest of his clothing but his boxer-briefs. She snapped her legs shut when he went to remove her panties.

"My turn." she wiggled away from him, but not far, he grabbed her ankles and easily pulled her to him. He shook his head kissing her ankle first, licking a trail up her calf, biting her muscle with a smile as he continued up. "No, John, my turn," she moaned as he easily spread her legs, his hands going for the flimsy fabric of her panties. He yanked downwards until she was naked for him. He snatched her to the edge of the bed, so he could kneel between her legs, her ass hanging off the edge of the bed. John held her up, her legs dangled over his shoulders, and she could do nothing but feel. And feel she did. She moaned his name hotly as he settled in quickly and aggressively. He was licking and sucking at her slick folds, and she was helpless to get away. His hands cradled her butt lifting her so only her shoulders remained on the bed, he was so strong, and he was so very good at this.

"J-John please," she wasn't sure what she was begging for, release or for him to stop. His mouth was everywhere at once, she couldn't breathe, her only thought was him and what he was doing to her. She grabbed her comforter beneath her as she moaned with abandon, his name torn from her. She was at the brink but he stopped. She opened her eyes, her entire body felt achy with need. She scrambled to sit up her mouth on his as he barely got to his feet. She shoved at his underwear wanting him naked, and in need of her too. She pulled him down onto the bed, before swiftly rolling him beneath her.

"My turn." she didn't leave him a chance to say yes or no. She wrapped a hand around him tightly, earning a lovely gasp from him and she moved to his thick cock. John's moan was delightful as she licked at the head first, before pressing a sweet kiss to it, and engulfed him as much as she could in her mouth. His hot moan of her name and the tightening of his hand in her hair told her he enjoyed it. He was too big for her mouth so she used her hand in conjunction with her mouth, using subtle pressure to add to his pleasure. His hoarse cry of her name when she sucked gently made her feel powerful. He was just as responsive to her as she was to him. She sucked hard again earning another moan of her name as she palmed his balls, and he roughly pulled her away from his cock. His mouth was on hers before she could protest that she wasn't done with him yet. He pushed her onto her back, pushing her legs apart.

"Condom?" he looked around the nightstand, and she shook her head.

"Don't need it, I went back on to the pill."

"Oh yeah?" he grinned down at her which she returned. She wasn't gonna feel embarrassed that she had already known they were going to get back together.

"Yes, now please get inside me," she pleaded, needing him more than anything, she wrapped an arm around his neck pulling him into a hot kiss. John thrust into her, and she cried into his mouth which he swallowed. He broke the kiss as he stroked into her deep, hard, and slow.

"Mine." his hands on her hips urging her on, his thrusts were so deep, penetrating her almost to her belly button on one stroke. She felt like he was owning her and she loved it. She was his and he was hers. She kissed his neck, crying into his skin as he sped up his thrusts. His strokes were relentless, meant nothing but to drive them over the edge. He wrapped her in his arms, his body tensing above hers, she knew he was about to come any moment. She clasped him tightly in her arms and legs restricting his movements wanting him in her deep as he came. She didn't care if she got another orgasm, she wanted him to come inside her now. She lifted her hips up meeting his downward thrusts, hearing his ragged intake of breath in her ear. The pleasure of having him inside her, loving her, sent her over the edge unexpectedly as she climaxed violently. She writhed beneath him as his name was a loud cry into his ear. He was pounding himself into her harder. "Joss-" he moaned as his drove into over and over again. "Say it." He kissed her roughly his hands on her breasts.

"I'm yours, forever, John." she dug her fingers in his hair, feeling him buck inside her. "You're mine forever," she vowed. She felt him stiffen and she bit hard on his shoulder as he came with a soft moan of her name. His entire body went tense, she felt him throb feverishly inside her, she felt his warmth fill her, and before long he slumped on top of her. She clung to him as they both shook from their union, it hadn't been anything like before. She saw her teeth marks in his skin, and she gently kissed his skin to soothe it. She held onto him.

"I'm squishing you," he whispered as he panted.

"I'm fine." She scissored her legs so he couldn't uncurl them from around his waist, and she kept him cocooned in her arms. They breathed in raggedly together. When he moved again after several more minutes she allowed him to roll off of her. She snuggled close, missing his warmth immediately. "I love you." His eyes shifted to hers.

"I love you too," his chest rose and fell quickly still. She felt her eyelids shutting even though she didn't wish them too. She was so exhausted from not sleeping, she couldn't, not when her heart had been with him. He drew circles with his fingers on her skin. "Go to sleep Joss, we'll talk about everything in the morning." She didn't make a peep as she finally fell asleep. He pulled the comforter up and on top of them, content lying beside her and holding her until the end of time. Before long he fell into a much needed sleep too, with her hand on his heart, and he curled her possessively towards him.

* * *

Author's note: so this is the end of the first story(I'm sad). A somewhat happy ending for Careese yaaaaaaay! But Cunningham's men is still out there, Janet whom blames them for Isaac's death wants revenge on Reese, Harold, and Elias. I'm trying to finish the sequel to this story there will be a little wait since its about sixty percent finished. Just a few minor hints to the sequel, Careese are in an established relationship but have some bumps along the road, including something that could change their lives forever. Grace's number comes up sending Harold into a frenzy to save her life, Shaw meets a man that might change her mind about love is for the weak, and a love triangle begins for the Fusco! Add in revenge, new numbers, and a serial killer along with all the coupley issues is what's in store for the sequel.

Thank you to everyone that has read this and came along for the LONG ride, and has enjoyed the story. I appreciate you taking the time to read my story! Another thank you to everyone that left a comment here or there, including those who log in and those who are guests, thanks! And a very special thank you to Elaine for proofreading this long story for me, and just letting me resend you chapters when I thought of something different lol. Again thank you to everyone! Hope to see you on the sequel!


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